There’s no blueprint for the perfect wedding. Every couple should decide for themselves what their ideal day will look like. The venue, itinerary, music, catering, guest list and more should be exactly what they’ve imagined, as outside influences can lead to a wedding that ultimately disappoints the newlyweds. And in some cases, it might disappoint the guests too.
One woman reached out to Reddit for advice after her cousin slashed her wedding’s guest list in half at the last minute. After blindly following the guidance of her “spiritual advisor,” this bride managed to offend nearly all of her friends and family members. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with wedding expert Jhona Yellin, Editor at Bespoke Bride Magazine.
This woman has been looking forward to being a bridesmaid in her cousin’s wedding
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)
But at the last minute, the bride’s “spiritual advisor” decided that she needed to make major changes to the guest list
Image credits: s_kawee / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lolagivesface
“Weddings are emotional territory, and being left out always stings”
To find out whether or not it’s ever appropriate for a bride and groom to remove people from their guest list, we got in touch with wedding expert Jhona Yellin, Editor at Bespoke Bride Magazine.
“Honestly? Sometimes, yeah. Real life happens—budgets get tight, venues change, or you realize you’d rather have a cozy, love-filled dinner with your inner circle than a giant bash with your mom’s coworkers,” Jhona shared. “It’s okay to trim the list for reasons like cost, space, or even wanting a more intimate vibe.”
However, the expert notes that timing is everything. “Two weeks before the wedding is way too late. Guests might have already booked flights or outfits, so last-minute cuts feel extra harsh,” Jhona says. “If you have to downsize, do it early. Explain gently: We had to scale down due to budget or space. And avoid making it sound personal.”
We also asked the expert if it’s possible to uninvite loved ones without damaging relationships. “Let’s be real—it’s tough!” she told Bored Panda. “Weddings are emotional territory, and being left out always stings a little (maybe even a lot!).”
“But you can soften the blow with honesty and kindness. A heartfelt message or quick call saying, ‘We’ve had to make some tough changes, and I feel awful about it’ is miles better than a cold text. Or worse, ghosting them,” Jhona explained. “Offering an alternative celebration—like brunch, drinks, or even a virtual toast—helps too.”
“The key is empathy,” the wedding expert says. “Don’t pretend it’s no big deal. Acknowledge it’s awkward, express gratitude, and move forward with grace. People might still be disappointed, but they’ll remember your kindness more than the un-invite.”
“And remember—it’s your BIG day, and you’re entitled to shape it however you wish,” Jhona continued. “As we talk about in our post on Shielding Your Big Day: How to Maintain Wedding Privacy in an Age of Oversharing, choosing your guest list is like curating an art exhibit—you only want the pieces that truly belong.”
“Having clear priorities and boundaries early helps you avoid awkward changes later”
Image credits: Getúlio Moraes / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Finally, we wanted to know what couples can do to avoid having to make these difficult decisions in the first place. “The trick is planning smart from the start. Set your budget and venue capacity before you even open your guest list spreadsheet—and know who you truly want there,” the expert shared.
“As we mention in our post on 7 Commonly Overlooked Aspects of Wedding Planning, having clear priorities and boundaries early helps you avoid awkward changes later,” Jhona explained. “You might even want to set a few guest list ‘policies’ from the get-go—like a kid policy. Talk it through with your partner—it’s one of those details that saves major stress later.”
“You can also check out our short guide and tips for creating and managing your wedding guest list—it’s packed with practical, drama-free advice,” the wedding expert says. “And whatever you do, don’t invite everyone hoping half will decline. They won’t. (They’ll all show up. With plus-ones.)”
“If there’s one wedding trend that actually saves your sanity when it comes to guest lists and the whole inviting process, it’s digital invitations,” Jhona revealed. “No more lost RSVPs, guest list mix-ups, or frantic calls to confirm who’s coming. You can update details instantly, track responses in real time, and even tweak your plans—venue change, smaller guest count, you name it—without the chaos.”
“They’re also eco-friendly (and we love GREEN initiatives!), stylish, and surprisingly fun to use,” the expert says. “We recently tested one that made the whole process effortless (and kind of addictive). Check out our full review: Say ‘I Do’ to Easy Invites: A Real Review of a Digital Wedding Invitation Platform.”
“So if you’re stressing about who’s in or out, breathe. Every couple faces this dilemma,” Jhona shared. “With thoughtful planning (and a few digital helpers), you’ll keep the focus where it belongs—on love, not logistics.”
Readers were appalled by the bride’s behavior, and many encouraged the author to skip the event altogether
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