Secrets have a way of coming to light. And they can bring the whole house down when they do. A woman has been left devastated after going through her husband’s phone while he was asleep. She found revealing text messages between him and another woman. But it’s not what you might think…
“The other woman” is his mother, and it turns out he’s been having long chats with mommy about his wife. The conversations were nothing short of nasty, with the mom-and-son duo trading ugly insults and remarks. The man has painted his partner as a miserable, lazy Wicked Witch of the West. But to her face, he’s always appeared happy. The wife is three months pregnant with their second child and she’s not sure she can stay in the relationship.
Marriage can be hard enough without the added pressure of a mean mother-in-law
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When one woman found text messages between her husband and his mom, her entire world came crashing down
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The woman provided an update revealing her future plans
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The wife later described how things had escalated
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How to handle being married to a “Mama’s Boy,” according to the experts
If you’re married to a “Mama’s Boy,” our deepest sympathy. And good luck! Luckily for you, some experts believe it is still possible to have a happy marriage, even when his mom comes first.
VeryWellMind defines a “Mama’s Boy,” or “Momma’s boy,” as a man who lacks self-reliance and is overly dependent on his mother. “While it has traditionally been used as an insult, shifting attitudes have led to changes in how the term is used today,” notes the site. “For younger generations, the term is often used to describe men with a healthy respect and appreciation for their moms.”
As with many things in life and love, there are levels to being a “Mama’s Boy.” Sometimes, the journey will be mostly smooth with some rough seas. But others might find their life turns into a living hell.
A “big red flag is when his mother is his first beneficiary on his insurance policies, but you are his wife,” warns relationship strategist, Dr. Sherrie Sims Allen. She adds that another is when his mother “consistently bails him out of financial difficulties, permitting him from stepping up and maturing into manhood.”
Allen says you should also take note if he insists you move into his mother’s house to save money “because she allows him to live at her place, rent free.” The expert explains that in doing so, “he also puts his mother’s needs ahead of his, yours, and your family’s needs.”
Many relationship experts suggest setting firm boundaries if you’re married to a “Mama’s Boy.” And also communicating your feelings. But they warn that, at the end of the day, your husband’s actions will determine whether your relationship survives the storm or not.
It’s more helpful to set limits with your husband, not your mother-in-law, and stand firm, says author and Professor of Psychology Dr. Herb Goldberg.
“Being married to a mama’s boy can create drama between you and your husband on a constant basis when he does not distinguish the importance of making you and your family his priority,” adds Allen.
Most agree that you’ll need to make your husband understand that he can’t “happily be both a husband and a mama’s boy.”
If he accepts your limits and starts putting you first, then be gentle with him as you both determine a new normal together, suggests Brides.com. “If he doesn’t, you might need to take some time away to let him decide what his priorities are.”
“Lost for words”: netizens expressed their shock over the situation
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