Love is about accepting your partner for who they are. It’s about looking past their flaws and finding ways to work through them, while helping each other grow as individuals.
But what if their shortcomings have become repetitive and extremely frustrating to the point that they have caused you a great deal of misery? This is what a man went through as he dealt with his wife’s overpacking tendencies.
But after trying to express his sentiments to her, the woman flipped out and wanted a divorce. He now wonders whether he was too harsh in how he handled the situation.
Some people tend to overpack, and it usually isn’t a big deal
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, it’s a slightly extreme case for this couple, as the man explains
Image credits: A. C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The husband finally spoke up, but it only made things worse
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
His wife flipped out and escalated their argument to a whole new level
The man provided additional information, revealing that his wife is dealing with a condition
Image credits: Christian Erfurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He further explained their situation
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Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
ADHD may be a heavy emotional baggage in relationships that both people may end up carrying
The story’s author mentioned that his wife had ADHD, a disorder that is often downplayed and misconstrued in multiple ways. However, the reality is much harsher, especially when it comes to relationships.
According to Healthline, ADHD often manifests as hyperfocus and being fully engrossed in an activity. In the man’s case, his wife tends to overpack and be late to scheduled commitments.
But behind that seemingly superficial issue is the emotional baggage in the form of negative self-image, lack of confidence, and feelings of shame.
According to NHS Berkshire Healthcare, intense emotions, impulsivity, frequent mood changes, and communication problems are other ways ADHD impacts relationships. This is likely why the wife suddenly went the extreme way and called for a divorce when her husband simply expressed his sentiment.
In such cases, working on communication methods is the most recommended approach. And according to psychosocial rehabilitation specialist Kendra Cherry, it all begins with understanding the afflicted partner’s condition and how it affects them.
“Recognize that they may have their own way of doing things and their own way of communicating,” Cherry wrote in an article for Very Well Mind.
At the same time, management of expectations is also key. As the person supporting the partner with ADHD, Cherry emphasizes the importance of knowing that their condition doesn’t define them.
So instead of holding them to a high standard, she advises finding more effective ways to find a healthy compromise.
It may help the author to have an honest and calm conversation with his wife about the issue at hand. He may have to assure her that he is willing to make the necessary compromises. But if all else fails, professional help is always an option.
Most people sided with the author, with some telling him to agree with the divorce
But others thought he was being a jerk, with some recommending professional help
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