Society has a lot of rules, regulations, and expectations for how you ‘should’ behave. Don’t be rude. Be demure. Be a good student. Go to college. Be skinny but not too skinny. Work at a good company. Get engaged. Get married. Have children. Buy a house. Have even more kids. Get a second car. Get along with everyone, etc.

The list is endless. Those unmet expectations can introduce a lot of stress into a person’s life. The reality is that you don’t have to meet any of those expectations. You’re free to live your life however you want and to find your path despite what you’re pressured to do. In short, live as authentically as you can. The members of the popular AskWomen online community revealed the things that they love about themselves that society thinks are ‘inappropriate.’ Scroll down for their stories.

#1

That I love being alone, in my own company. I do have a handful of close friends, but I prefer my own company above all others. I never get lonely and I never get bored. I don’t understand someone who wants to be around another person 24-7 like in a marriage. I lived with someone for 8 years when I was in my 20’s and NEVER EVER again. I’ve had relationships here and there over the years but am never looking to be in one. This seems to baffle so many people.

Image credits: DimmyMoore70

#2

I love having sex, I loved sleeping around when I was single, I am super sexually liberated and I have no shame about it.

Image credits: need_a_nap_asap

#3

This might sound kind of shallow but my height and flat chest! I was insecure about it for the longest time because people always say that women who are tall and/or have no chest are “just men” but more recently I’ve started to love it! I’m a runner and do cross country and track and field for my college and my body is so functional for my sport!

Image credits: PreppyHotGirl

The way that specific cultures view femininity and masculinity affects life in a myriad of ways. For example, it can also influence the types of extracurricular activities (like sports) that people feel pressured to embrace or avoid. Some attitudes are hard to shake.

But something to keep in mind is that these attitudes vary from society to society. What’s ‘weird’ in one geographic area can be perfectly acceptable elsewhere.

A 2017 study found that the choice of sports still corresponds to sports traditionally associated with men or women. That being said, these activities also coexist with other ‘neutral’ sports. Typically, girls’ sports practice was more diverse than boys’, who were more resistant to embracing female activities.

#4

Man spreading. Like, it’s just a comfortable way to sit

Image credits: MamaShayShay92

#5

Being confrontational. It’s not that I go out and look to have a fight, but I will speak up about annoying behaviour when others are too afraid to do so. I’ve been called quite a few b-words because of it, but I don’t care.

Image credits: ZebLeopard

#6

I stopped shaving a few years back. I think my armpit hair is lovely. Honestly. Hahah

Image credits: LowThreadCountSheets

As per the researchers from the University of Vigo, the University of Leon, and the University of A Coruña, a person’s gender is still the most defining factor when it comes to sports. Generally, feminine extracurricular activities are associated with rhythm, expression, and dancing. Swimming was also found to be more feminine, as was walking.

According to research, stereotypically, masculine sports were associated with more danger, risk, violence, speed, strength, endurance, challenge, and team spirit.

However, there were some cultural exceptions. For instance, in Portugal, football was one of the most practiced sports among girls, though in Spain, football was associated with activities that boys focus on.

“Likewise, sports practiced by girls in other European contexts did not feature so noticeable rhythmic-expressive characteristics,” the researchers noted.

#7

Having a “high body count.” I enjoyed myself a lot in my 20s and have zero regrets. I went on lots of dates, met a lot of interesting people, learned a lot about people, had a lot of fun, and tried out everything I wanted to try. I feel calm in my 30s knowing that my sexual curiosities were fulfilled.

Image credits: little_traveler

#8

Lack of desire to become a mother.

Image credits: Daeromarthys

#9

So many times I’ve been told I won’t get married if I don’t change the way I speak or live. People would say things like, ‘Men don’t like women with careers,’ or ‘You’re too independent.’

Well, I’m still not married, and I absolutely love it. I get to do everything I want, and I’m completely in love with myself. 🥰

Image credits: XPrincessKitx

#10

Appreciating the value of my physical strength.

For example, I’m more than happy to exert strength in opening up a jar of pickles (and being proud of myself for getting it done!). I’m not the type that will quickly ask a man to open it for me.

Image credits: GalaxiGazer

#11

Being a lesbian, having tattoos, being masculine, not caring for men’s opinions or wanting to be with men or ever needing them, fishing, hiking, hunting, camping, driving fast cars, long boarding, landscaping, mechanics, working with tools, fixing my own s**t and wanting to disable the patriarchy

Image credits: Neat-Calendar-7139

#12

I’m plus size and always have been. My whole life I’ve received messaging from media and fashion and advertising and certain social circles that “fat” is one of the worst things a woman can possibly be. It’s unfeminine, it’s grotesque, it’s unattractive, it’s ugly.

But truth be told, I absolutely adore my curvy body. I think it’s the epitome of femininity and abundance and sex appeal and beauty. When I was around 17, I said “f**k it” and actually started *living* that way. And ya know what? I found that the vast majority of people I encountered viewed my body the same way I did. I’ve had numerous lovers over the years (many of whom have been very conventionally attractive) who treat me like a queen and can’t get enough of my body. I’ve found friends who don’t buy into diet culture and who admire my beauty for exactly what it is. I can be fashionable and trendy and cute just like anybody else. People don’t laugh at me or judge me for living my life like movies and advertisements always told me they would. Sure, fatphobia exists, but in my experience, the vast majority of the time it’s a media/Internet thing, not a real life thing. Usually fatphobia comes from a place of somebody either trying to sell you something, or projecting their own personal insecurities onto you. I’m so comfortable in my own skin and people admire that about me. They’re drawn to me *because* of my love for my plus size body, not in spite of it.

Image credits: anon

#13

I’m not nice. I’m kind, and thoughtful. But I am not nice, and I love that for me. I think more women should try not being so damn nice to everyone all the time.

I say NO often, and often with no explanation or context….because sometimes a NO is just that.

Image credits: beelovedone

#14

People are starting to get a little worried that I’m now in my thirties, unmarried, and have no kids.

I have spent 31 years of my life doing what I want, when I want, how I want. I’m comfortable financially. I’m happy. I have a wonderful group of friends.

I don’t really want a spouse. S**t, now that I’m in my thirties and my libido’s calmed the hell down I don’t even want to date anymore. I’m a very happy auntie just living my best life

Image credits: GeraldoLucia

#15

I travel alone a lot. Usually by hitchhiking, often stealth camping, sometimes bikepacking. Once in a while I’ll do a regular backpacking trip with hostels and such. Everyone constantly tells me how dangerous it is, that I should buy a gun or pack pepperspray and blah blah blah. I never carried anything around like that. My wits have so far been enough to keep me safe. Been doing this a long time and never had anything bad happen. I’ve got tons of experience and funny stories.

Image credits: anon

#16

I have zero interest in sex, romantic relationships, or children. I keep getting told I’ll change my mind or I’m a naive young person but I don’t care.

Image credits: FloweryNamesLover

#17

Following dreams over money.

Now, in general, society likes to pretend that it wholeheartedly supports people to follow their dreams, but in my experience, every time I’ve mentioned I willingly take a pay cut to do things for a non-profit where I could be making double in a corporate world, or they see how much stuff I do voluntarily for absolutely nothing, I get some kind of lecture about how I’m going to want more financial stability in the future.

I love that I’m a caring person who thinks about the impact of my work, and that I’m not just a cog in a machine working for a paycheque. Sure, I would love more money, but I cannot and will not ever compromise my enjoyment and feeling like what I do matters for a few more dollars.

Image credits: PancakeQueen13

#18

In my 30s I decided to start lifting weights. Then I started competing in powerlifting competitions. I had the time of my life! And the confidence boost was so addicting. I’d think to myself, “wait, I just squatted 396lbs in front of an audience and I don’t think I can apply for this job? Get outta here!”

Also – having very visible tattoos, being child free (and surgically making sure of that), owning a home by myself (I’m on my 3rd one), owning my 2nd pitbull, not being overtly feminine, cursing a lot, etc. 

Image credits: saturatedregulated

#19

Being ecstatic at the idea I may possibly never marry and will end up in an apartment full of cats and dogs.

Image credits: IrritatedMango

#20

As a tattooed woman, I honestly didn’t realize how many men find them so unattractive on women. I don’t surround myself with Judgmental Judy’s either though.

Image credits: DJSoapdish

#21

Being childfree and happy.

Image credits: BarbarianFoxQueen

#22

Learning stuff that society only expects men to do, for example, changing a flat tire or fixing what’s broken…because I realized how essential these tasks were for any individual alongside being able to cook and to take good care of myself.

Image credits: IrememberedU

#23

Having a high sex drive.

#24

I like being tall, 5’11”. I look like a super model mixed with an Amazon.

#25

Not coddling men. Sorry if you got upset but I’m not going to entertain your dismissive behavior toward me and make excuses for it. You’re an adult and you can pick up the phone if you really care.

Image credits: Familiar_Builder9007

#26

Being ambitious, being in charge of the finances. Not scared to take risks. 

Image credits: LeighofMar

#27

Having b**bs bigger than D.

People both men and women will assume you’re a sl*t or loose because your body decide to develop more than the norm.

If Breast size was correlated with how much sex you had; wouldn’t p*rn star be attached to wheel barrel to wheel their “sex counter” around. Oddly enough, many of the popular ones are in the small size or get breast implants around a D cup.

Proving that breast size has no relation to sexually activity.

Breast are marks of women hood, motherhood, sexual maturity and fertility.

It’s insane that modern society now deem larger breast as obscene or “too much” when they were celebrate on the past to be able to feed one child or other children who lose their mothers to young.

No one has a choice in their breast size and there very little correlation between weight and breast tissue. There are women who fit in Xsmall where size 32F bras, and women wearing size 24 with 42B bra.

The biggest thing that changes with weight lost/gain is the band size. The cup size might shrinks if you had some fat around the breast tissue.

Image credits: Hikari3747

#28

Menswear. I love a good 3 piece suit; I look so hot!

#29

I love my kids but I don’t like kids in general. Also don’t like “mommy”
Culture

#30

Woodworking, doing (minor) work on appliances/cars, using power tools, etc.

I have been building furniture and fixing up random things here and there around the house. When people ask what I have been up to, what my hobbies are, etc, and I tell them, at least half of the responses I get are “ugh, why don’t you let your husband do that?”

The simple answer is this: because people still ask me that.

I also love baking, sewing, and s**t like that, but those are things I feel pressure/obligation to be good at. Building/fixing s**t is a task that I am not *expected* to be able to do, and excelling at it (or even just managing it at all) makes my dopamine go bzzzzzzt. It’s a thrill, not a chore.

Image credits: onlyhalfvampire

#31

Being direct in the workplace. I don’t always say good morning, how was your weekend, sorry to bother you, blah blah – I just ask my question plainly or speak up whenever I feel like something needs to be said, especially when everyone is thinking something but no one has the balls [pun intended] to say it. People may not always like it but I know damn sure they respect it.

I’m like this in my personal life, too. I just say the damn thing or ask for what I want to know so there is no ambiguity. I have no patience for passive-aggressive behavior, it causes so many problems in relationships (familial or otherwise).

No one every has to wonder where they stand with me. Confrontation doesn’t bother me and it doesn’t have to be contentious – it’s just the most open, direct, effective way of dealing with an issue.

Image credits: just_real_quick

#32

Not wanting kids or having any maternal instincts. I may have the required parts to give birth, that doesn’t mean I want to or that I should.

Image credits: redjessa

#33

I don’t smile a lot. It’s just exhausting. Even at work. I’ll occasionally flash a smile to customers and just people in general that I have a favorable attitude towards, but for the most part, straight-faced and just trying to get through the day. My voice is also a little lower naturally and I don’t make an effort as much anymore to speak in a super cheery, high-pitched voice.

On top of that, I’m not very fond of men and I’d be completely fine with never having a partner. I love my independence and alone time a lot.

Image credits: riles-s

#34

Since I had my gallbladder out, I can burp like a bullfrog!

Image credits: PaddlesOwnCanoe

#35

I have a deep voice. Which I adore, but it’s definitly not something society wishes for in a woman.

#36

Not shaving my legs for months at a time, specially during winter, I couldn’t care less!

#37

My “I don’t give a f**k about your opinion” attitude.

And the tattoos🤣

#38

Being both fat and unable to do makeup. Normally if a fat woman is to have any shot at being respected she has to constantly dress to the nines and do a full face every day. I never got the hang of it and in any case, I quite like my face as is?

I’ve also been single my whole life, unsurprisingly 😂

#39

That I don’t want my own kids, or to just raise in kids in general.

I have so much love to give that I give to everyone around me. My life goal is to create a farm animal sanctuary where animals get to live out their full lives. I have *so* much love for animals. I’m a doer, so things will always get done. So I think finding a mate to create this dream with will be the most challenging part, as not as many people know how to do basic labor work (or enjoy it at least) anymore. But I’m driven, so it’ll happen regardless. Just… may take years to rack up the cash to make it happen..

#40

Having visible muscles, I do.

#41

Being polyamorous. Most people think that’s inappropriate for any gender honestly. There’s so much stigma attached to it yet it requires a lot of emotional intelligence that I think would have helped in my monogamous relationships in the past too.

Also, being assertive. No one expects it and then they learn I’m a bit of a force.

#42

I’m a very direct and assertive woman. Growing up I was told that it wasn’t ladylike and that I needed to tone it down. I’m no longer that little girl but a direct and assertive woman. It’s served me well my whole life and I’m happy I never listened to those comments.

#43

Tats and piercings and Pink hair

Handful of Male friends

Grew up camping and fishing

“Breadwinner” status

Independent

Educated

“Sailor Mouth”

In my mid 30s and still no kids

Married to a man who’s NOT afraid of getting in touch with his feminine side

#44

Being direct, having great physical strength, and not kowtowing to men.

Men in particular tend to hate all three of these things, but I love these things about myself. It also makes for fantastic douchebag radar.

#45

Not wearing a bra in public

Image credits: Soymilkkevin

#46

I love that I’m happy doing nothing at home.
Not sure if this is a women thing but I hate feeling pressured to go out and socialize

#47

I swear a lot & i have zero trouble standing up to anybody, particularly men. you’re not about to tell me s**t 🙂

#48

That I’m okay not being stick-thin.

I’ve been fat my whole life and even at my lightest and healthiest I was still considered overweight. I actually like being curvy, my husband does too. I hate when everyone acts like I should be dieting or working really hard to lose weight. It really shocks people when they find out I’d be happy just being 170 again. Everyone thinks I should be more like 115-120 at my height but when I was 170 I was swimming 4 days a week, taking on the Disney parks, and wearing not Plus-Size clothes.

#49

My piercings! i have about 13 in total w 2 on my face and one is a septum that a lot of ppl (particularly on reddit) seem to hate and think it takes away from my beauty but it compliments my look soooo perfectly! i love it so much, never taking it out

Image credits: whichwitchxoxo

#50

My vulgarity. Puts everyone off. Fireman fiancé is obsessed.

#51

Being child-free, unmarried, and loving it. I don’t center men in my life if I don’t have to. I enjoy a lot of activities alone: hiking, surfing, swimming in wild water, going to concerts, going out, etc. I dress for myself rather than for the male gaze. Perhaps the most “inappropriate” thing about me is that I stopped living for the validation and approval of others, and I’m thrilled with my life.

#52

I have no problem saying no. I don’t care about being agreeable when it’s something that is going to hinder me or make me resentful in the future. If my ‘no’ offends people then they aren’t the ones for me *shrugs*

#53

When I was younger, my female friends would tease me that I wanted to go play with the boys. They were happily staying back to get food ready and gossip, while the boys were outside riding atvs, or jet skis and such. I was SO BORED inside… and I hate gossip and the latest fashion trend discussions. I just never got the “take care of the man” mentality, while they got to play. Ughh. So I stopped caring about what they thought and started dating domesticated men. I’m very much feminine, and love dressing up, just not every day.

#54

I don’t have a strong opinion of myself. I know my strengths and weaknesses, but I don’t love or hate myself, which seem to be the options we’re usually presented. It gives me a good perspective on others, allows me to be grateful for what I have, and put work into areas of improvement.

People who think I should hate myself don’t like that about me, in the same way that people who think everyone should love themselves don’t like it. Both kinds of people seem to find it offensive that I am relatively just ok with myself, but I’m happy with it.

#55

I dont care what society thinks about anything.

#56

Telling men to stfu

#57

When I get drunk and dance on tables barefoot, leading a chorus about heroes past.

#58

I love being crass and grossing out dudes that think women should be polite and say eww to things. I like to take people gross comments one step farther, and it honestly upsets men sometimes. I’ve heard comments about men not finding that attractive or men have said they hope their daughters never speak like that… I love flipping the tables and letting them know how little their opinions mean to me.

#59

I shave my head. Have for years. My hair is curly and unruly and I don’t want to deal with it.

#60

Disliking being around kids or wanting to babysit them

#61

Wearing mini skirt

#62

Making weak men cry when they treat me poorly.
No children with no desire to have any.
Mechanical inclination and a love of all things cars.
Tattoos.
Independence.
Confidence.

#63

I love the word ‘f**k’ and I use it more than I should 🤷🏽‍♀️

#64

Being traditional and old school as a woman who leans liberal.

Yes I know that used to be the status quo but nowadays people question you if you want to follow certain traditional values. Yes I have a great career but I still want to take a sabbatical if I have children, I enjoy cooking and taking care of the house and I absolutely would take my husband’s last name unless he wants to take mine. And finally, I’m only attracted to men with a provider mentality despite myself being able to provide myself.

#65

Not caring for romance and dressing like a gangster lol

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