Life isn’t fair. Let’s repeat that once more so that everyone hears it, shall we? Life—it really isn’t fair. We certainly don’t live in a world where there’s ‘perfect’ justice everywhere. But, generally speaking, things could definitely be fairer. That’s a sentiment that most of you Pandas probably could get behind. And you wouldn’t be the only ones. Seeing examples of unfairness happen in front of you can really make your blood boil.

Redditors from all around the globe opened up about the double standards they hate the most in a thread on r/AskReddit. Their stories shone a spotlight on the places where society—and humankind—still needs to improve.

Scroll down for the worst double standards out there, Pandas, and share your own thoughts on the topic in the comments below.

Redditor u/MajorInstruction2522, the author of the thread, was kind enough to share her thoughts about double standards and how they impact society. Check out what she told Bored Panda below.

Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with Psychologist and Wellbeing Specialist Lee Chambers, the founder of Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing, for a chat about dealing with unfairness and the anger that can arise from that. “We are often brought up in a world that suggests fairness is a gold standard, and we should strive for fairness. But the reality is that life isn’t fair, and there is little we can do to make it fair, meaning fairness itself isn’t a great concept. Awareness of how we react to this unfairness is an important starting point, as we can often let these emotions such as anger, sadness, and disappointment cloud our judgment and make us suffer,” he explained to us.

According to the expert, we can try reframing the idea of unfairness happening to us. Instead of seeing ourselves as a victim of unfairness, we can be a survivor of it. This can empower us to accept and move beyond what we can control.

#1

when the only diaper changing station is in the women’s restroom. The floor of the men’s room is not the best area to change babies for us dads, who also need to do so.

Image credits: WandaBJohnson

“Reflective exercises can help people see all the positive things that have happened, giving more agency to move beyond the unfair aspects that can’t be changed. In addition, it is important to harness and express the emotions generated by unfairness in a healthy way, rather than suppress them, as that is more damaging than the unfairness itself,” Psychologist Lee, from Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing, told Bored Panda.

“Unfairness can make us angry, frustrated and, at times, powerless. Relaxation exercises are great for creating space for us to challenge or initial reaction to unfairness, and allow us to reflect on choosing a more empowered response. Breathing exercises are great for this, slowing us down and bringing us to a stable place. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can also be powerful ways to express and focus on what can be controlled and the difference that can be made,” the expert suggested some methods to help control our feelings when faced with unfairness.

#2

It’s always assumed that Mom is the parent and Dad is just there for backup/support.

Image credits: bangersnmash13

#3

Being a male teacher, it truly aggravates me that I can’t comfort any students in a kind way because it’s inappropriate to give them hugs. A female teacher, on the other hand, can figuratively have a kid sit on her lap during read-alouds. If I do this, I’m headed straight for the dog pound.

Image credits: AnnCHarms

“It also creates an opportunity to let things go that can be controlled, freeing up that energy to be used constructively. This stops the rumination that so often leaves us trapped, feeling like the world is unfair, and opens us up to see the good things that happen.”

The psychologist continued: “Finally, we need to monitor our thoughts and feelings, analyze our self-talk and spot the patterns that are not serving us well. Just doing this allows us space to consider how we can turn our emotions into positive action, potentially making the world a fairer place for others through the things we can control, and find productive ways to express all the emotions that come from our own expectations.”

#4

Parents telling their kids to do as they say but not as they do. Set the freaking example.

Image credits: Rangestalker

#5

Wealthy get away with crimes that would put a poor in prison

Image credits: ethanol713

#6

When a woman takes care of her child she’s parenting. When a man does it he’s “babysitting”.

Image credits: GreatXs

Meanwhile, the author of the r/AskReddit thread told Bored Panda a bit about the inspiration behind the thread. “I came up with the thread a week ago when I was talking with my sister, it just popped in my head and I thought it was a pretty good question. People’s responses were one of two things: good nuanced and detailed problems, or just straight up sexism and discrimination of either white people, Arabs, or black people,” the OP shared her thoughts about how Reddit reacted to the question.

In the redditor’s opinion, the double standards that do the most harm to society are “probably the ones involving gender, like how a male leader is confident and inspiring, while a female leader is bossy and arrogant.”

“This affects society as much as it affects me since I work in a managerial position in a pharmaceutical research firm, and some interns once complained to my boss that I’m too bossy and strict and they don’t want to work under me, and they ended up with an even worse person but they were fine with it since it was a man,” she gave an example from her personal life.

#7

Dudes are assertive. Chicks are bossy.

Also why tf aren’t dudes allowed to have parental instincts or look out for kids.

Image credits: Raaqu

#8

It’s obnoxious as a single dad of three kids where schools want to “talk to the mom”

Image credits: Negafox

#9

Lazy people in the workplace get away with being lazy, however when the hard worker slacks off they’re criticized. While both get paid the same.

Image credits: Helicoppter

The author said that, in her opinion, she “hate[s] every single one” instance of double standards, “no matter how insignificant.” They also opened up about what double standard irks them the most. “The one I hate the most is people supporting Ukraine while never looking at the Israel/Palestine conflict or even supporting Israel!” she shared her personal opinion.

According to the OP, what she sees far too frequently these days is that a lot of people point out the flaws without actually trying to solve them. She believes that it’s best to either ignore “these problems and the people stupid enough to believe in them, or try and educate them about it peacefully.”

As for dealing with anger when seeing all the injustice in the world, the author of the thread suggests talking it out with others. “People need to talk. We’re social beings and we can’t live without talking and being social lays off a lot of steam. If you have a lot of anger issues and you want to get rid of that, talk to your friends, parents, therapist, or even yourself, it helps a lot and sometimes you can just forget all the [bad] things happening around the world and live in your own bubble.”

We’ve probably all seen at least a handful of double standards in our daily lives. It’s inescapable, really. You might have gotten a big dose of it at work (why do all of your managers get to work from home or while abroad when you’re forced into the office every day?) or when picking up your kid from the nursery (why do they treat me differently just because I’m a dad/mom?).

These situations can honestly make you feel very frustrated. However, constantly living in a state of anger clearly isn’t good for you.

#10

Step Parenting. I hate that bio parents are more respectable although they are only taking responsibility for a child they made. Meanwhile I don’t get near as much credit for taking care of a child that chose to accept as my own.

Image credits: Just-a-Party-Muffin

#11

How little mental issues are talked about. Men are told to man up if they cry and if women cry they’re sensitive or on their period. Also PPD. not talked about enough

Image credits: Sensitive-Many-8674

#12

Affluent people use government subsidies and tax loopholes all the time but complain that poor people take things for free.

Image credits: string1969

Licensed Counselor Suzanne Degges-White, from Northern Illinois University, previously explained to Bored Panda that people tend to enjoy reading about the darker aspects of humanity because it minimizes our own negative traits.

“Whether it’s greed, anger, promiscuity, and so on, when we hear just how bad someone else has been, it can make us feel better about our own tendencies towards the dark side traits. It also lets us imagine vicariously what it would be like to be ‘that bad,’” she told us why there’s a certain fascination with hearing about just how horrible, unfair, unjust some individuals might be.

However, the professor warned that being constantly angry at just how unjust the world around us is can have very negative effects on our bodies.

“Constant anger can lead to metabolic diseases, cardiovascular problems, and digestive issues. For some people, health concerns are the reason that they may learn to let go of anger,” Degges-White said.

#13

On the other hand, people often fawn over a father doing normal basic parenting things like changing diapers or taking a kid to the playground like “OMG what a hands on father, that’s so sweet!” Whereas when a mom does it, no one thinks twice about it.

Image credits: allid33

#14

Society: Be who you are! Society: not like that, please

Image credits: JohnCTerry2

#15

when dads take care of their own god damn child, strangers will say “ohh your babysitting huh?” or “aww giving mommy a break?”

Image credits: just__me____

“While being angry can lead to social change and begin to topple barriers and other aspects of injustice, we also know that anger isn’t going to be the best choice to build alliances or convince others of the need for change,” she told Bored Panda.

“Finding common ground is essential in making true, collaborative change. This requires us to let go of anger, whether that is finding a way to sublimate it or overcome it, or just put it aside for the time being.” In other words, there’s a place and a time for being angry. However, it won’t solve all of your problems… and it might even create some unexpected new ones, too.

#16

When wearing make-up: “Why not show your natural beauty?” Without make-up: “Are you feeling sick or tired..?”

Image credits: LLiselot

#17

When religious cult leaders are telling to people live modestly but using Cadillacs, Mercedes, expensive as f**k aircrafts and have a villas and huge wallets.

Image credits: codm_playernumwhat

#18

Women being hit on by someone they like is ok, but if they don’t like him/her, he/she is a creep.

Image credits: BigBlueMountainStar

#19

I think for me it’s the family court not enforcing financial responsibility into non custodial mothers more. They are very adamant about ensuring non custodial fathers meet their financial obligations, but mothers get a sort of hand wave and the problem never gets addressed.

If you’re a non custodial mother that pays like 25 dollars a week in child support, you’re a deadbeat.

Image credits: Westly-Pipes

#20

How short men (a genetic trait impossible to change) are often laughed at, but if you make fun of a fat woman (a trait absolutely possible to change), it’s suddenly wrong

In a similar vein, rape jokes about men are made all the time (think “don’t drop the soap” in prison movies, or Vince Vaughn getting repeatedly raped in Wedding Crashers) even though if the genders were switched it would clearly be wrong

Image credits: PerpetualHillman

#21

34 can’t get breakfast with 65 dad too often without getting funny looks. One waitress actually got snide once like he was having some kind of midlife crisis. God knows if it were reversed it would be comments galore about such a nice young man taking his mother out for breakfast or father and son must be on their way to a fishing trip. Gimme a break. Can I just get the Denver Omelet please, without a side of your billshit?

Image credits: historychick1988

#22

one time in like 8th grade, this rather pretty girl (that i hated) from my class came running in from the halls, red as a tomato, she told us that she just tried to sneak a photo of some hot guy, and forgot to turn off her flash, and she was embarrassed as f**k, everyone thought it was hilarious. to this day i think about how it would have turned out if A) the genders were swapped, or B) she was ugly

Image credits: Mads664

#23

Women abusing men. Happens so much, even in the public light. Be it verbal or physical, they get away with it.

Image credits: AbatedFawn

#24

Men liking esoteric and/or nerdy things. Wow cool nerd.

Me liking the same things. Wow, pick me. She must be doing it for male attention.

Image credits: Meowsommar

#25

The double standard I despise the most are the people who claim to be “pro-life.” No the hell you aren’t. You just care about abortions. Once that tiny clump of cells is out of the womb, you couldn’t give less of a s**t about what happens to it. They believe every clump of cells is sacred until that clump of cells, turned human, is blasted to literal bits by a gun. There was a little girl at the Uvalde shooting who was identified by her bloodied shirt because her head had exploded due to the bullets of the firearm. However, for her, all she will receive are “thoughts and prayers.” Thoughts and prayers do jack s**t for a kid who is dead. No legislation, just words and thoughts sent into the ether.

Image credits: ProfessionalNutCase

#26

Imagine a one night stand. The woman got pregnant. Men don’t have the right to demand an abortion or sign their duties as a father away, but still have to pay child support, if the mom decides to keep the baby.

Image credits: dokkiy

#27

We’re not supposed to discriminate or stereotype based upon age or gender. But my car insurance company does.

#28

Cops telling people “if you don’t want to get shot don’t break the law” while they have to seriously f**k up just to be punished let alone charged with an actual crime when they break the law. Plus if we didn’t break the law we wouldn’t need cops, if we don’t break the law they wouldn’t have a job

#29

discrimination against asian. No one take this seriously enough, not even asian themselves

#30

When my company says “By 2025, we will reduce the proportion of white men in management by X%, please clap”.

#31

As a women if you want to be different and wear different clothes, you’ll be called emo, uwu, barbie or whatever fits. If you dress like everyone else you’ll be called basic. So you’ll basically be shamed whatever you wear. Same thing w too revealing/hoe, show some skin or you’re a tease.

#32

The double standard reddit has with regards to popular/unpopular opinions.

Redditors like to claim this place to be bastion of free speech and discussion, but if your viewpoint veers off of the generally accepted opinions, you can expect to just be downvoted and insulted.

Sometimes this is warranted – idiots peddling hate deserve to be shutdown, but often it’s smaller topics that aren’t nearly as important. The reddit zeitgeist just takes over, and it’s like opinions become “facts”. God forbid you like The Big Bang Theory, or dislike Community, or disagree with any Liberal viewpoint. (I am Liberal btw before y’all start assuming s**t about me).

It’s especially frustrating when you see people aren’t held to the same standards. If it’s a popular opinion, the specifics of the truth don’t matter – people will upvoye the sentiment regardless. Likewise, if its unpopular, people will downvote, even if you’ ve asked valid questions/raised valid points.

I remember when I first joined this site, I jived with the majority of popular viewpoints (I still do). But over time, I’ve had these weird experiences, where every now and then my perspective differs, and people just go nuts on you. The ridiculous thing is that these are people I was likely standing shoulder to shoulder with in hundreds of other discussions.

That said, after 10 plus years on this site, I can’t help but say its the best at what it does. I just really wish it was better.

Image credits: Rosetti

#33

I’ve got a few.

1. A random man knocks on the door and when I open it he asks to speak to “The man of the house.” So women can’t own homes or make decisions.

2. When applying to college you are given or deducted points for your age, race, sex, AND whether or not you’re a US citizen. Working hard for a secondary education doesn’t mean s**t because it’s no longer based on merit and hard work but ageism, racism, sexism, and tokenism. If you complain about this scam you’re automatically labeled as a racist. I was told I was “too old” to go back to college by some shitty TA. F**k Texas universities.

3. When I talk to a mechanic about an issue with my car they assume I don’t know anything until I tell them what I did, open the hood and go step by step. I changed mechanics since that incident.

4. Women must love cooking and men can’t cook. Well if he can burn the s**t out of meat on a grill he can learn to cook.

5. A man makes a bad decision that costs a company millions and that a*****e keeps his job then later get a raise. A waitress is .50 short at the end of the night and she can get fired. I swear it’s nepotism that fails its way to the top or just rich male assholes who do.

/end of rant/TedTalk

#34

Pool party. Couple of drunk ladies cat calling me making a lot of comments about a bulge in my shorts. Ended up with one of them behind me pantsing me in front of about 15 people. Not a shy guy but if shoe on other foot. I’m probably in jail

#35

Tommy Lee posts a d**k pic: F*****G LEGEND

Britney Spears posts a (censored) nude pic: UNSTABLE BAD MOTHER

#36

If a woman behaved like Elon Musk, I’m about 80% convinced she would be poor and lonely (narcissistic, micromanager, probalbly brillant but likes to let people not forget it, socially akward, likes to be surrounded by hot people from the opposite gender, opinionated).

Edit to answer: For Kardashian and Mariah Carrey, they were not self made out of their creative and intellectual input. MC is a product of I don’t know Atlantic records ? Though, I m ready to admit that people who are able to create, brand, exploit their self image in a very profitable way are probably smart on many level.

And I don’t get the feeling that Kardashian is socially akward to a autistic level. Musk claims he is asperger. (though, the diagnosis is often deemed obsolete).

Mariah Carrey seems more histrionic than really socially akward. She is just tone deaf about the way she is perceived.

If anything, I get autistic vibes about Melania Trump. White house docs said she’s actually one of the smartest first lady. But she put her brain power to use trying to look flawless and marrying big money which kind of proves my point. Also, if there’s a genetic component to it: Baron is a give away.

I’m not saying that to be ableist but I feel that they are not just autistic. They are a bunch of diagnosis where empathy is not your strongest suit.

#37

If someone said “black trash”they would be cancelled or assaulted but adding white or any form of racism against white is perfectly ok

#38

In high school all the girls were separated from the guys and took a self defence course. Where a man dressed up in a padded suit attacked each of us until we got away or if over powered. The guys played dodge ball

#39

Body hair on men is fine, but body hair on women is “Gross” or “unhygienic” so stupid

#40

Billionaires not paying taxes. Billionaires getting bailed out, while the rest of us accept that minimum wage hasn’t been adjusted for the rate of inflation. Also, billionaires with full time employees on food stamps to subsidize their lower than live wages pay. Then the employee is said to be leaching off the system.
If you can make billions and your employees are on food stamps, then you’re the one leaching.

Image credits: Graceland1979

#41

How society views adult men sexualizing underage girls versus how it views adult women sexualizing underage boys.

Example: There was a post on here where an adult woman kissed a young boys cheek and said “you’re so sweet I’ll be back when you’re 18”.

I think if a man did that to a pre-teen girl people would (rightfully) be horrified, but they kind of laugh off women doing it.

Both are equally presumptive and f****d up to maturing minds.

Source: Female adult neighbor repeatedly used me sexually when I was 13 through 15. She would tell my mom to have me come over to help her with chores, keep me for hours and then insist on showering with me.

She’d give me pocket money, have me buy her weed and even bought the same kind of liquid soap as my mom so she wouldn’t suspect.

Please don’t miss my main point of the double standard.

#42

Wheelchair user here. I hate seeing accessibility improvements being deemed “too expensive,” while spending much more on non-essential things, like new TV screens for the conference room to replace 2-year-old ones, new cups/mugs to replace perfectly good ones, giving everyone new office chairs, etc.

At this point, it would’ve been cheaper to just build in the power-operated door button that I requested. Or build a curb ramp from the parking lot, so I don’t have to go all the way around the building to find a step-free pathway.

(I’m not in the US, for anyone who is wanting to jump in with an ADA suggestion.)

Image credits: buckyhermit

#43

People who smoke get multiple smoke breaks but if I take a 5 minute break, I’m seen as lazy

#44

Me and my sister are white a*s rednecks, my BIL is Mexican, my niece and nephews got more from my BIL so they look Mexican. I do not look related to them in any way besides we all have brown hair.

When my sister takes her kids to the park, she’s the babysitter or adopted parent. But when I take them to the park, I’m a kidnapper or a child predator.

Now sure both situations are f****d, but at least my sister doesn’t get looks or the random Karen calling the cops on her.

#45

How it’s expected that I know everything about my daughter and am with her all the time, while my husband isn’t expected to be able to do or know a thing. I watch her while he works, and he watches her while I work (we have opposite schedules). People keep asking who’s watching my baby. Uh, her dad? One time someone even asked if he was okay with that. Say what now??

I hate that fathers aren’t even expected to do the bare minimum. I talked to not one but three(!) different women at an event this weekend who said their husband was home alone for the first(!!) time with their children, who were variously between 8 and 19 months old. That’s nuts to me.

#46

Anything that women complain about standards for women and then turn around and judge men for. For example: “Love your body at any size… I only date fit men,” “He’s a cheating bastard!…. Well I cheated because he wasn’t meeting my needs.”

#47

Female that doesn’t want kids: what a horrible person! You’ll change your mind soon. Just have one and then you’ll change your mind. (Seriously, it’s like she said she wants to slaughter babies or something.)

Dude that doesn’t want kids: Oh that’s normal. Let’s get beers.

#48

I always find it incredible when people who watch and wank themselves senseless to a girl in porn will then complain about her as a “b***h” and “Whore” and that she’s not akin to a real person.

We all watch porn, get over yourself.

Suppose the other one is “Everyone’s beautiful!”- no, they’re not. Or it wouldn’t be a descriptive term. The point should be that it shouldn’t matter so much if you’re not.

#49

*Woman has a job not remotely related to her appearance*

Everyone: makes unsolicited comments on her appearance.

*Man has a job unrelated to his appearance.*

Everyone: Talks about his skill level/personality/other relevant trait.

#50

You cannot criticise my beliefs but I can criticise yours.
Doesn’t matter what group, race, religion etc you belong to, no-one is above criticism.

Image credits: TheMightyCephas

#51

Whenever people act like guys who get laid with multiple partners are called players while women who do this are sluts.

I really hate this double standard.

#52

Women can say they will only date men 6ft or taller but if I say I wanna date women 130lbs or less I’m a monster

#53

The Catholic church is rightly the butt of jokes regarding it’s priests who abuse children, and the shuffling thereof…

Meanwhile teachers (and coaches) abuse and their crimes are hidden from public view at a much higher %. The amount of abuse from teachers is staggering, nearly 10% of students report being abused. That means that a child is as likely to be abused in school as they are to witness abuse in their home (which is 10-20%). Take a look at the number of arrests (135+ this year), then extrapolate the number of teachers for whom there is insufficient evidence and are therefor on permanent academic leave.

#54

Rape.

No offense but,

If a girl experienced it everybody goes wild.

But if a guy experienced it, he is either considered lucky, weak or a joke to be dominated by a female. It’s even worst if the predator’s a guy.

#55

I can go without a top at the lake but women can’t? B******t!

#56

How women get away with molesting kids! It’s the same thing and damage is done!!! The punishment should fit the crime not depending on who is the criminal!! Set punishment based on the length and severity not man vs women!!!!

#57

When a woman’s nipples are so much as visible through a shirt, it’s inappropriate, but when a man with tits 3 sizes larger than mine walks around shirtless, nobody gives a f**k. As minor of an issue as this is, it’s infuriating.

#58

White collar crime is not prosecuted when the victim is poor people. E.g. the 2008 financial crisis.

#59

if someone injured a limb or had an organ malfunction, the boss would understand that the injured person would need time off and some time to recover before they are back to full productivity, except if that organ was a uterus.

#60

when somebody else donates a kidney they’re a hero, but I donate countless fresh bodies therefore supplying ample amounts of VARIOUS organs, and suddenly it’s all “I’m calling the police!” And “cereal killer!”

#61

People on social media voicing there opinion then when someone questions them and calls them out they tell them to “keep there opinions to themselves”

#62

The laws don’t seem to apply to lawmakers

#63

“Speak up for yourself.”

When a Black woman speaks up, she is seen as aggressive and confrontational.

#64

A lot of women I’ve encountered throughout my life don’t seem to realise how many men experience sexual assault and horrible emotional abuse from women. At best it gets some lip service or the idea is just dismissed, presumably because they see sexual trauma as a competition they’re winning or that they just don’t see the experiences of males as traumatic. It’s disgusting.

I can go back to high school and the amount of times I’d see lassies copping feels of random guys as we were all leaving the building was insane. If that was the guys doing it to the girls it’d likely end up in the news. Women would be talking about it as an early source of sexual trauma. It’s happening to a guy though so he must’ve liked it. That’s not even mentioning the amount of situations where girls would go up to guys “want to go out? Just kidding!” and I’ve heard plenty of women talk about how that massively affected their confidence growing up but I guess they think it just bounces off the guys.

You get into the late teens and early adulthood and you get into clubbing like everybody else and you’re basically crammed into rooms filled with horny, drunk and possibly high women. I never was much of a club rat but I’ve heard horror stories off of make friends who frequented them. Drunk women trying to chat them up, not taking no for an answer, getting handsy. I had one friend who got chased down the street by a woman and her pals for rejecting her. People never seem to talk about these kinds of stories yet swap the genders and it’s on social media and the police are involved.

Another thing I’ve noticed, especially since Onlyfans boomed in popularity is women joining groups for random hobbies and interests then spamming users in those groups with pics and sexual messages to try and promote their onlyfans. How is that any different fro
Some creep sending a girl a d**k pic without their consent?

It goes on and on. I’ve personally been sexually abused by women and I have a father in law who was drugged and raped by a woman who wanted to use him to get herself pregnant. So many guys have stories of sexual trauma inflicted on them by women whether it’s some girl grabbing their a**e without consent or a full on rape and most of them won’t even bring it up out of fear of ridicule and so much of that is down to how far too many women view males who have suffered at the hands of women. It’s either a dismissive “we’ve got it worse”, a hateful “too bad” or a condescending “thoughts and prayers” and it pisses me right off.

#65

Anything in politics. Guy on the right does something, left says he’s a traitor. Guy on the Left does same thing and he’s revered. Goes both ways, yet people still worship them the same. It’s maddening.

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