Have you ever called someone Captain Obvious or have been referred to as that yourself? If you have, it’s because some things are painfully obvious. Though, not for everyone.
For some people, it takes time to learn something that is considered common knowledge for others. In some cases, it might even take years. That was the case with at least a few people on today’s list, who admitted being oblivious to certain information after one netizen started a discussion on the topic. Their “confessions” covered everything from staring at the sun to buying individual bananas, and figuring out what peppers are exactly, among other things. So if you’re curious to see what else their comments entailed, scroll down to find them on the list below.
#1
That the reason old people move so slowly is that they are in pain.
Source: Am now old person.
Image credits: Kwyjibo68
#2
I had no idea that peanuts grow underground until the other day when I saw a video on reddit. I think I always assumed they grew on like, I dunno, a peanut tree? Peanut bush? I was flabbergasted.
Image credits: pandorumriver24
#3
I thought when people said you *can’t* stare at the sun it was because it was a really hard thing to do, like a skill- rather than the truth which is it damages your eyes horribly.
So I’d boast at how I could stare for up to 3mins before I had to look away…
Glad I didn’t take “you can’t breathe underwater” literally too.
Image credits: AnnaAerials
#4
That ponies are not baby horses.
Image credits: geometrikos
#5
When I was in 9th grade, I found out that narwhals are REAL. Always just assumed they were mythical. C’mon, dolphin-like creatures with a unicorn horn?
Image credits: jonesryan98
#6
Dogs like squeaky toys because they sound like dying prey.
Image credits: anon
#7
That percentages work both ways. 50% of 7 (3.5) is the same as 7% of 50 (3.5).
Image credits: ActiveShooterMcGavin
#8
I had an Aunt Grace. I thought the song Amazing Grace was about a woman named Grace for my entire childhood, at least, and only yesterday sat down and consciously realized it wasn’t. I’m in my sixties.
Image credits: tinygreycat
#9
I legitimately thought you “grew” pickles…. Like underwater.
I’m not a smart man.
Image credits: troll192
#10
That honey is mostly sugar..
Toddlo:
I sold honey door to door as a kid. Once a guy came to the door and I gave him my sales pitch, he stated that he couldn’t have sugar because he was diabetic. I assured him that the honey was pure and sugar free. He bought two tubs.
Image credits: regrettiispaghettii
#11
I had to explain to my mother, sister and boyfriend that cobwebs are leftover spider webs that collected dust, not just dust magically stringing together
Edit: guys they have to be abandoned to collect dust there aren’t spiders in them anymore it’s ok.
Image credits: Wrenigade
#12
It’s called a coincidence because two events co-incide.
Image credits: usernamewontcheckout
#13
I said “thingers” instead of “fingers” for an embarrassingly long time of my life. It always went in my brain that you use thingers to pick up things with.
Image credits: anon
#14
I was told a couple weeks ago that hay was just dried grass, I thought it was its own thing that grew and I just never saw it.
Image credits: krida64
#15
I thought it was normal to get a little burning sensation in your throat when you eat hazelnuts, turns out I was allergic.
Image credits: skytroper
#16
That your stomach growling and feeling hungry can also be a sign of thirst.
Image credits: jajajaimtommy
#17
White, green, and black tea can be from the same plant; just picked at different times.
EDIT: Yes, it’s also a drying/oxidizing process as well.
Image credits: knightni73
#18
My friend thought Reindeer were just a christmas related mythical animal until he was 18.
Image credits: theenigma77
#19
I didn’t know babies only drink milk for the first six months and that water can be toxic for them. Learned that in r/JUSTNOMIL.
Image credits: The_Unknown_Author
#20
Different wines are named after the grape used to make the wine. I didn’t realize there were different kinds of grapes, I guess? I thought that it was just green grapes = white wine / red grapes = red wine and that whatever makes it a shiraz or a merlot or whatever was some other magical s**t that happens in the barrels.
Image credits: drinkmoreshowerbeer
#21
Condensation is water from the atmosphere turning liquid on the outside of a glass due to how cold the glass is. It’s NOT because water from inside the glass magically phases through the glass outside. I regret that it took be 17 years to find this out, even though I passed AP chemistry and AICE biology…
Image credits: BlyHard
#22
That squidward and squilliam from Spongebob are just the names Edward and William but with “squi” in the beginning.
Image credits: blueewwyw
#23
As an introvert, it’s recently come to my attention that some people actually like talking. What I mean to say is, I’ve started talking to people more because I thought everyone was like me and didn’t want to be bothered with conversation much, but it’s amazing to think that that’s something that’s unique to me, some people can talk and enjoy it.
That’s not to say I don’t like talking, I just get super exhausted talking for too long, but it’s just mind boggling to me that people actually want to talk and seek it out and can do it all the time. I need a bit to recover from a conversation.
I’m almost 30, and am just discovering this, apparently I’m slow.
Image credits: crazyberzerker
#24
Oh, mine is bad.
Until the age of 19 I didn’t realize that the handicap symbol was a guy in a wheelchair. I thought it was a character from some Asian language that meant handicapped.
It was a mindf**k the first time I realized what it actually was.
I swear this is the only other one I have.
My family was terribly, terribly poor until my teenage years. When I was 14, we went down to a sit-down restaurant for the first time. I ordered a burger, as was my way. Now, I had no idea what grades of cooking existed as it just wasn’t something that had come up.
>**Me**: I’d like a cheeseburger please Miss.
>
>**Waitress**: Medium?
>
>**Me**: No, large please.
Needless to say, that was embarrassing.
Image credits: anon
#25
I thought the semicolon tattoo was for people who had Crohn’s disease or colon cancer or something and had lost part of their colon.
Image credits: anon
#26
That the the division sign is just an incomplete fraction
÷ x/x.
Image credits: DrShoking
#27
Royal family’s last name is Windsor.
Image credits: jasonwc22
#28
Pancakes are cakes cooked in a pan.
Image credits: not_your_parental
#29
Funny I was about 31 when my girlfriend of all people pointed out that gas tank direction sign to me, she felt so proud of herself that day and didn’t let me live it down.
#30
A fortnight is called that because its fourteen nights…
Image credits: Sir_Giraffe
#31
I didn’t realize how much I interrupted people while they were talking until one person didn’t let me. They bulldozed right over whatever the f**k I had to add. I’m much more aware now.
#32
When I moved to the states I kept wondering what “ped xing” with a guy crossing the road meant. I knew it meant that somebody was crossing the road but how did xing meant “crossing”?! A decade later I realized it, x=cross.
EDIT: Thanks guys I hope I have enlightened you all.
Image credits: Frenchy4life
#33
The bald spot on the back of my head. I mean, I knew it was there for a few years, but last month we moved into a new house and the upstairs bathroom has a large wall mirror across from the vanity mirror. So now every morning while I brush my teeth all I can do is stare at my bald spot. All this time I’ve been walking around like this unaware of just how large and obvious it was.
Image credits: aintTrollingYou
#34
Breakfast = Breaking the fast.
Image credits: tornadosniper
#35
I always thought John Doe was a very popular person, until I realised it’s a placeholder name.
#36
That not all chicken eggs are fertilized. And I grew up in the country around animals and went to an Ag College.
#37
You can buy individual bananas. I always thought you had to buy them in bunches.
I am 30 years old.
#38
That as a person with a vulva, I can simply slide over the c****h of my swimsuit to pee! No need to take off my wet, cold one-piece and drag it back on again after I pee! My husband shared this magical method with me – I was 42.
#39
I found out that a Perm is short for Permanent and not just a hair style but saying the type of hair style is Permament.
#40
That my 67-year old mom dyes her hair and has been for years. I never questioned why her hair was red in my baby pictures but why she’s blonde now. I’m like, “Well her hair just changed.” Y’know, like how tons of people have their hair go from red to blonde!!
#41
Horses scratch themselves behind their ears just like a dog does, i.e. with their hind legs.
#42
It’s called a K-9 unit because *Canines*!
I thought it was just a random letter-number designation, because you know, everything needs a name.
Image credits: anon
#43
That the christmas song that goes “I saw mommy kissing santa claus” is not actually about infidelity. The father was santa claus the whole time!
#44
It took me until I was like 10 years old to understand that you are supposed to close your eyes when trying to fall asleep. Until that point I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling wondering why I’m still awake.
#45
One of my mates only realised Elton John was gay when the TV commentary at the royal wedding talked about him and his husband.
Image credits: aljobar
#46
An airport is a port – like where ships dock – but for airplanes.
#47
The Romantic languages aren’t called that because oh pretty, they’re called that because they descend from Latin, which was spoken in Rome… they’re Roman-tic languages.
#48
That absolutely everyone is going through some hardship of some sort. Some are just more skilled at hiding or compartmentalizing it, and we all have our own way of dealing with it or trying to escape it.
I’ve realized that I don’t actually like the taste of alcohol. I started drinking because I thought it was the thing to do when you grow up and become an adult. Almost a year without a drop now, I don’t miss it one bit.
#49
That chores while still being a chore can in fact feel good once they are completed and not just a burden. Now I do chores and it relaxes me a bit kind of takes me put of my own head. If I’m angry…find a chore to do. If I’m bored…find a chore to do. It makes everything seem less chaotic at times.
#50
You need to check your tire pressure when the weather gets cold.
#51
My roommate and I googled “what is pepper?” the other day because we realized we had no clue if black pepper was a plant or a mineral…
Edit: it’s a plant…. I’ve just never seen a peppercorn tree.
Edit 2: I get it, it’s not a mineral.
#52
Balloon fish inhale water to expand … Not air.
Gonna blame Nemo for that.
#53
Cigarettes are just a cute name baby cigars. I never made that connection for some reason.
#54
I was 50 when I figured out (52 now, btw.) that the little piggy that “went to market”…wasn’t going shopping.
Edit: I talked to my wife about the poem and she pointed out:
This little piggy went to market – off to be slaughtered.
This little piggy stayed home – The mother pig
This little piggy had roast beef – Being fattened for the market
This little piggy had none – fat enough, being sold tomorrow
This little piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home – actually, apparently, the source of this is French, and the piggy is crying “oui, oui, oui!” all the way home because it escaped from the slaughterhouse. It’s crying “Yes, yes, yes!” all the way home.
#55
When you go the liquor store the good liquor is on the “Top shelf”. The cr**py liquor is Always on the bottom shelf.
#56
You never have it together as an adult. You just collectively pretend.
#57
The other day I just realized that “emo” was short for “emotional” – I always just assumed it was its own word completely, haha.
#58
I actually have to talk to women if I want to ever meet any.
Image credits: anon
#59
Chips ahoy is a play on words of the nautical term ships ahoy.
#60
Camcorder.
A CAMera reCORDER.
#61
Paper comes from trees on tree farms. It didn’t occur to me until I met someone in college who had grown up on one that trees were something that could be farmed – I honestly believed that they were cutting down trees in forests and jungles to make paper (and firewood, furniture, etc.) and that this was the cause of deforestation.
#62
Sitcom= Situational Comedy, felt like a d**n fool when I found out.
#63
That when it itches (like if you have an itch on your leg or something), it helps to scratch back. I remember complaining to someone when I was around ten, that I had an itch, and he said “well, scratch it”. I was really surprised that it worked.
#64
That mermaids were fictional.
It wasn’t anything like “Well, everyone says they’re not real but i think they are”, it was more like nobody told me any different and i never really thought about it.
#65
Life is easier if you relax, appreciate what you have and stop trying to control the world around you.
#66
I was probably in my 20s, but the fact that odd-numbered highways run North-South and Even-numbered highways run East-West.
Also, the numbers increase as you travel East and North, so San Diego has I-5 and I-8 running through it, and Boston has I-90 and I-95 running through it.
Ampersand (&) is from “and, per se, and”. It used to be recited after Z in the alphabet.
#67
Just me, realizing just how little I actually know. But a drop in the ocean. That I did not listen to people, instead just waiting to butt in and say something stupid. That I was passing judgment on people without understanding their situation first. Thinking I was open minded but was actually rather ignorant and closed minded. Offering advice to people who didn’t ask for it. Thinking I was a forgiving person but held grudges. Allowed myself to be triggered by what others said, biting the bait. Giving advice to others on how to live their lives but not providing a good example. Expected respect but not being respectful.
#68
NABISCO = NAtional BIScuit COmpany.
I always thought it was just a funny name.
#69
Email addresses are not case sensitive.
#70
That the Autobahn is the entire highway system in Germany, not just a single road that you can drive really fast on.
#71
Miles Prower A.K.A. Tails from Sonic is a pun on Miles per hour.
#72
My fiancee gave me that, “wow I’m about to marry you” look when she made me realize Nilla wafers were VA-Nilla. I somehow missed that.
#73
That waaay back in the day, we had this messenger thing called ICQ.
it actually means “I seek you”.
young me’s mind was a thoroughly blown.
#74
That I can just unzip my pants to relieve myself as opposed to also unbuttoning them.
#75
IOU literally means ” I owe you” i didnt understand that for the longest time.
#76
I realized a year or two ago that laffy taffy was called laffy taffy because there were jokes on the wrapper. I’m 23 and laffy taffy was one of my favorite candies as a kid.
#77
I just found out two days ago that “lock/unlock” portion of car keys is called a fob.
#78
The Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star are the same song. Took me WAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY too long to figure that out.
#79
I thought gunpoint and knifepoint were real places. I promised myself I’d never go near them since it seemed like everyone who went there got robbed. I was about 14 or 15 when it clicked.
#80
That Eeyore was named for the sound a donkey makes. Someone pointed this out to me a while back; blew my mind.
Also, I only found out a couple years ago that “troll” refers to someone dangling bait on a hook in the ocean, waiting for a fish to come along and bite. I’d always thought it was because anyone who’d waste people’s time with b******t was a monster, hence, “troll.” (Because trolls, as opposed to vampires or weres or what have you, are stupid, ugly bastards rather than s**y or immortal.).
#81
Ferrero Rocher have Nutella in them.
#82
In my mid-30s i learned i need to actively resist clinical depression.
i had thought it was cyclical and i needed to let it run its course.
upon learning this, i felt a lot of regret and shame for having wasted so much time wallowing.
#83
That Wednesday is called hump day because it’s the middle of the week, so you’re getting ‘over the hump’. I always thought it was a s*x thing.
#84
The under armor logo isn’t an x, but a u and an a.
#85
Dallas Green of the band City and Colour. His name is both a city and a color.
I listened to him for years before it clicked.
#86
Fez wasn’t his name. Its FES for foreign exchange student.
#87
I know this one has been pointed out often, but the D in the Disney logo was not actually a G.
#88
The “L” of the Staples logo is a bent staple.
#89
Your job is NOT IMPORTANT.
#90
When people say “the Midwest”, they really mean a region in the Eastern USA.
#91
That the song, “Centerfield” by John Fogerty is about baseball… I had never really listened to the whole thing, and I always thought it was about flying coach in an airplane. 🤦♀️.
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