“We Were Best Friends For 17 Years”: People Reveal Why They Ended Friendship With BFF

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You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me! There are few things in life stronger than the bond of two best friends. Knowing that someone has your back no matter what and will always be there to make you smile, even on your very worst days, is a wonderful feeling. 

But unfortunately, when one of your friendships is put to the test, you might be faced with the harsh realization that your BFF doesn’t value your relationship as much as you do. Reddit users have recently been opening up about how their former best friends turned into strangers, so we’ve gathered some of their most painful stories below. If you can relate to these tales, know that you’re not alone, pandas. And remember that you deserve to have companions who will stick with you until the end!

#1

She invited a friend I had introduced her to to her wedding but didn’t invite me. That hurt.

Image credits: HorseFeathersFur

#2

He committed a crime, pinned it on me, and I went to prison for it. It took some time to prove it was him, and I was immediately released and he is in prison now.

We were best friends for 13 years, so huge trust issues followed.

Image credits: FionaFroze

#3

I grew up.

He didn’t.

He’s a flat earther, born again, and fixated on people and memories from high school when we graduated like 20 years ago. “Hey remember when Mikey from 3rd period dropped his pencil and he farted when he grabbed it?” “Hey remember when that one hot girl from geology whose name i cant remember asked me for a listerine strip? Yea she was into me.”

Just slowly became a bummer to hang out with and had to cut ties.

Image credits: thevyrd

#4

I found out that not only did she know about my (ex) fiance cheating on me but was helping him hide it. Backstabbing c**t.

Image credits: maisie0112

#5

His dumb, married a*s tried to sleep with my ex less than 48 hours after we’d broken up… And now, two years later, he’s sitting in prison for 20-ish years after sending an undercover FBI agent some sick pics/vids.
Serves the f****r right.

Image credits: Pretend_Marsupial528

#6

We were both born as Jehovahs Witnesses. He’s still in, I’m not. He’s not allowed to talk to me.

Image credits: excusetheblood

#7

He got a job making 6 figures and became materialistic while ridiculing Union workers (like me) and he phased me out of his social life now that he’s got rich friends.

Image credits: Zoo_Behaviorist1976

#8

She asked me to help her fake a vaccine card to keep her job (at a nail salon) because she didn’t wanna take it. I said no. She stopped texting.

Image credits: GreenDolphin86

#9

She started posting extremely antisemitic things on her social media when the Israel-Palestine war began. She was sharing posts calling for retaliation against all Jewish people. 

I’m Jewish. She knew that. When I asked her why she was sharing that kind of stuff, she doubled down. 

Image credits: Bartok_and_croutons

#10

She stole over 10k of things from me over the years and used me for my situation at the time. I saw them all one day in her closet years years later. She never let me in her room btw. Now I know. Ended the friendship the next day.

Image credits: GlitteringLocality

#11

He cheated on his fiancé. I told her what was going on. He never figured out how she found out. I cut him off. I figured if he can f**k over his fiancé, someone he’s supposed to love, what is keeping him from doing the same to me.

Image credits: txmade41

#12

She couldn’t support me when my ma passed.

Image credits: deadinside923

#13

I’m a pediatrician and she’s an antivaxxer.

Image credits: efox02

#14

She ditched me in a foreign country to go hang out with people she’d just met.

Yup.

Image credits: Ornery_Succotash_679

#15

He went down the MAGA rabbit hole. I don’t need that BS in my life. Maybe someday he’ll come around.

Image credits: Darklord_Bravo

#16

I stopped texting first.

Image credits: junosaurrrk

#17

I grew tired of being taken advantage of and taken for granted. Without ever getting a “thank you” for everything I did for them. We were best friends for 17 years. I ended that friendship, I deleted their number, deleted them off my social media accounts. A weight was lifted off my shoulders when I ended that friendship. We haven’t talked for 3 years, and will continue to do so. What they do, is none of my concern anymore, nor has it been.

Image credits: EnigmaNero

#18

I gotta be honest, I don’t know the answer and it’s been haunting me for years. She cut off contact with me back in 2022 and suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth—not just me, literally everyone who knew her in our friend group and even her acquaintances in the city, it’s something we talk about about time to time.

The only reason I’m assured she’s alive and well is because our families still talk, her mom has given a few updates but largely keeps it hush hush too. She’s active on social media and kept all the picture of us tgt, plus her profile picture is still one I took of her many years ago. I don’t understand what happened and it’s messed me up pretty bad, this girl was my whole world and losing her was really hard. I tried getting back in touch but she won’t respond, since I’m extremely non-confrontational I’ve given up. Probably the biggest mystery of my life and I’d do anything to know why.

Image credits: GlumConversation8967

#19

I noticed that, especially when we’re around other people, she undermines my intelligence at every opportunity. I realized after 4 years of what seemed like a close, wholesome friendship that she was using me as an accessory to make herself look and feel smarter. I would’ve taken the pain of a truck running me over than having experienced that epiphany.

I still haven’t really let go of the person I thought she was and I miss it so, so much. But over the course of those 4 years I had come to fully accept that I was a bumbling idiot, and somehow it took me this long to realize she was the cause.

Image credits: IiteraIIy

#20

I started dating someone and she texted me that she wanted to focus only on “friendships with single women who aren’t involved with boys and are also working towards their career goals and financial independence.” I also wasn’t the first friend she had dropped for having a boyfriend. I didn’t respond until she texted months later apologizing. I brushed it off and said I was respecting her boundaries and never spoke to her again. It’s been 5 years since.

Image credits: needsmoreserotonin

#21

We used to be inseparable and losing that connection to her is the one thing I’ve regretted in my life.

We came from very different backgrounds and were in very different situations so I just didn’t think she would understand what I was going through. I was dealing with really bad depression that led me to isolate myself from my friendships more and more every time, so I slowly stopped reaching out to her, and the more time passed without talking the harder it was for me to reach out to her again for fear of her being mad at me.

At this point I haven’t talked to her in about 5 years, but I heard from an old mutual friend that she had gotten engaged and seemed to be thriving, so I’m really glad for her, I wish her nothing but the best in life even if I can’t tell her directly.

Image credits: starlight-desert

#22

She openly didn’t like my girlfriend (who was nothing but incredibly nice to her) and wasn’t nice to her at all. Right after my grandma passed away (within a week), I was supposed to go pick her up from the airport and I told her WE were coming to pick her up and she went off the rails and went off on me. All I needed was my friend and she was pissed off that my girlfriend was going to tag along.

This isn’t the first girlfriend that she wasn’t nice to, but it was the first one I realized it with.

We’re in our 30s now and knew each other since 5th grade. It really is a shame. I do still miss her, but she showed she wasn’t a true friend.

Image credits: Drooks89

#23

I realized she only included me when she needed something. I finally got up the courage to tell them “no” when they wanted me to cook for their dinner party. She wanted me to buy all the food, prep, cook, and clean after. I haven’t heard from her since.

Image credits: neinta

#24

Posted my pregnancy announcement before my family and friends were aware. We hadn’t even gotten our NIPT results back (I was high risk). When confronted she informed me it wasn’t a big deal and it’s not like anyone on her friends list knew me. You could hear us saying in the video to not post anything online yet since we wanted to surprise family. Multiple times. Lies about deleting it as well. My husband confronted her and she shrugged and again refused to accept responsibility/accountability. I knew then I couldn’t trust her around my kid.

Image credits: iwishyouwereabeer

#25

BFF for 30 years now. About the 20 year mark she drafted up an email meant for her sister, about me. ALL bad stuff. She accidentally sent it to me. She was beyond embarrassed and she asked that I delete the email, which i didn’t. I personally think she was jealous of me. I was married, with children and she didn’t have any of it, which she wanted. we really never talked about it again and we are ok now.

Image credits: VariousFlight3877

#26

We went to different colleges and created new friend groups.

Nothing traumatic, just life.

Image credits: halfwaytosomewhere

#27

He’s just angry all the time.

Everyone else is at fault, and it’s never his fault.

He’s stupidly deep into the Trump/MAGA movement.

I just can’t with him anymore.

Image credits: Rebootkid

#28

Because she got married and moved and we both changed. No bad blood at all. Just growth in different directions. Took me a few years to get over it.

Image credits: Apart-Ad2714

#29

Well, I’m glad you asked….

She didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, I had known her for 25 years and she asked girls she had known for only a few months.

Accordingly, I didn’t ask her to be involved in my wedding. I had my two sisters, whom I had actually known for longer than her. Didn’t stop her from making a spectacle at the wedding, which was on a very hot day. She pulled out the front of my dress and dumped an entire box of confetti down there. I was a bit sweaty, my dress got stained in red, pink, blue and green spots for the photos. Thanks friend.

She didn’t acknowledge the birth of my first child. To be fair, I did learn later that she had suffered a number of miscarriages that year but still…

We would invite her and her husband over for cosy little dinner parties and put a lot of effort into them. Candles and fancy food and nice wines. When she reciprocated the invitation, we would always arrive to find she had also asked three or four other couples and would not bother cooking, we’d get pizza.

She never got in contact with me, it was always me calling her.

She didn’t call me to tell me that she was finally pregnant, didn’t tell me when she’d had the baby. I always found out through other people.

None of these things seemed like big deals at the time but added up, it caused a lot of pain and tears from my end. Why didn’t she like me?

I got the hint. She didn’t want to be friends anymore. Okay.

I removed her from all my socials and accepted that she had moved on, so although I didn’t understand why, I shrugged and moved on too.

Now years later, she goes around telling everyone she doesn’t understand what she did so wrong as to cause me to give her the cold shoulder and block her. I haven’t blocked her, she simply has not re-requested to follow me. That doesn’t suit her “poor me” narrative though, does it?

She’s a drama queen, always wants to be the centre of attention and needs to be bolstered up by a crowd of adoring people all around her. I’m simply not interested in being a shoulder for her to step on as she climbs her way to the top. She’s got plenty of those already.

Sorry, that was long. It’s obviously a touchy subject.

Image credits: MelbsGal

#30

Because we had a more-than-friends relationship but when she entered an actual relationship, she didn’t want her feelings for me to seep and ruin her relationship with her actual partner. I don’t know if that’s a normal thing. All I know is that it was the most emotionally devastating pain I’ve ever felt and I honestly don’t know if I will ever fully get over it.

Image credits: alwayshealing23

#31

As far as I know, he wasn’t allowed to talk to me for being atheist. He’s from a very religious family, but that was never a problem, I lived in the same neighborhood and spent a lot of time at his place, and was fairly close with his religious parents, they were wonderful people. We naturally grew apart during/after college, but would catch up whenever I was in town. He married a born-again (next level religion obsessed), and I even attended their wedding. I saw him a couple times after, but eventually there was no contact at all, and I was also dropped on Facebook. Rumor is she didn’t want him around me because I’m not a believer, which makes me a bad influence. I guess being the voice of reason when he tried to start drunken bar fights was problematic.

#32

He stood me up for lunch because he died. Haven’t talked to him since.

#33

1. Because I paid her husband’s auto shop to replace my radiator, and the techs failed to put fluids back in my car. New radiator exploded, far from home and even further from the auto shop. They refused to fix the problems, so I complained to the corporate office and husband got in trouble and lost bonuses. So bestie was not allowed to speak to me anymore.

2. Other bestie’s boyfriend wanted to advertise his tree services in my yard. I was ok with it, but the landscaping company my landlord paid was not, and they removed the sign without telling me. I was accused of sabotaging the boyfriend’s business.

Glad to be free of the drama.

#34

Stopped reading/answering my messages for MONTHS, more than once, for years.
I don’t require constant communication and I’ve had a lot of patience over this as I know she’s going through some s**t but I feel like I can’t trust her anymore, what friendship it is if you can’t even hold a conversation?

#35

Her dad SA’ed me one night when we were drinking (we were 16, he bought the alcohol for us) and she and her cousin saw it happen.
I didn’t speak about it until a school counselor called me into the office to discuss a sudden drop in my grades. I explained that this had happened and it’s really hard for me at school right now.
The counselor called police and made a report. Police came to my school the next day and pulled me out class, “interrogated” me for a few hours, and then brought in my friend. She denied knowing anything about it. I got a restraining order and never spoke to her again.

Until 3 years ago, at 29 we happened to be at the same house party. She asked to speak to me in the garage, and told me “I should have believed what I saw. He’s in jail for raping another girl”. I cried and was happy to hear her finally say those words (that she should have believed what she saw) but I still will never, ever have contact with her again.

#36

We were friends
We decided we wanted more.

He decided out of the blue after we just started to fall in love he just wanted to be friends.
He was my Best friend. I was devastated

I needed sometime to process that.
He said let’s take a few days.

We went no contact. I thought it would be like 2/3 days he ghosted me for half a year. Then popped up in my life and our friends lives like nothing had happened.
We made plans to have a chat on a Friday.
I never heard from him again.

I don’t ever think I’ll ever find a friend like that who made me feel so comfortable in my own skin ever again.

I still am in disbelief that I lost my love and my bff in one breath.

#37

He stopped responding, which he does every once in a while, just won’t respond. Instead of reaching out after a few months in which we would be best friends again and text and game when we could, I just let it slip. He reached out like after 6 months and apologized, I forgave immediately and then went back to ignoring. If sucks but I’ve stopped investing into people who won’t invest into me.

#38

Mike and I used to love debating political s**t, but as I got older, I stopped wanting to do it for a lot of reasons. He discovered that he could win by not being honest. I started by changing the subject, or saying that I don’t feel like getting into it tonight, or that we can talk about it later.

He never got the hint, and started calling me drunk late at night hollering about people taking over the country, and the downfall of America, and that I need to agree with him, and it went from putting it off, to just not answering the phone, to asking him to stop calling me.

Sad. I knew the dude for 20 years, I just couldn’t keep up the energy he had, I had way bigger fish to fry.

#39

She started dating a guy (43) who was non-monogamous on his end (but monogamous on her end – she reassured me it worked). Turns out he had been messaging a 16 year old girl for the last year and intended to have her move in with him the day she turned 18. She found nothing wrong with it, also stating that when she “gets her bearings” with the new move, she also intends to make her move on her (sexually) with him. When she told me about it the girl was just two weeks shy of 18 and “what is the difference between her body two weeks away from 18 and after 18” um…. The law? That’s the last time I spoke to her.

You never really know who people are.

#40

He just brings politics in every single discussion. At one point it gets so tiring and irritating. 

For example last time I asked do you like to go for cycling in the Sunday morning. He was like, the govt is so bad that everything is expensive blah blah. So I stopped contacting him and now we barely meets.

#41

After I left home, it took me many years to realize that one, we’d grown apart no matter how much we spoke on the phone, and two, it was a one-way relationship where I was doing all the work to keep in contact. All the calling, all the traveling back to my hometown to visit…just everything. I finally decided that if she truly cared, she would’ve reached out. It hurt to come to that realization, but when it happened, I decided I was finished, and really haven’t looked back.

#42

The pandemic. We would visit our home town at the same time and go out for drinks whenever we could, normally two or three times a year. We’d known each other since the year 2000, and we always picked up where we left off with no issues.

Then I go myself in a s****y pandemic-related situation with someone who used up all my mental energy and kind of consumed my life.

Two years later, while reminiscing, I got drunk enough to text her “is this still ABC’s number?”.

In the middle of the night, I got a long, gushing, enthusiastic reply, complete with email address because nobody likes giving life updates via text.

I fell asleep that night excited to get up and tell her everything that’d happened in the intervening years. I did. She replied with “proper response coming soon, here’s a photo of us when we were like 20!”.

That was two years ago. Not a word since. I have no idea what happened.

#43

I honestly don’t really know. I was supposed to stay at his house and watch his cat while he was away for a week. A couple days before that, I had an epileptic seizure, no big deal to me, they happen, I deal with them. He knew about them, he had even seen a couple happen, so he wasn’t at all ignorant about them.

I mentioned in casual conversation that I’d had a seizure, and his response was that I might have another one and somehow burn his house down in the process, and basically blamed me for having epilepsy. That pissed me off, so I told him how he made me feel, and I remained civil about it, but he decided that was the end of our friendship that had been going for more than 20 years. He blocked me, gave no real explanation, and I haven’t heard from him since. It was totally an over the top reaction to a simple “dude… that wasn’t cool”, and also very out of character for him.

#44

She announced the death of my other friend (s*icide) on Instagram before his parents had an opportunity to tell anyone.

#45

She has an anxious attachment style and I am totally avoidant as much as I loved her it was horrible for both of us.

#46

She became a Qanon Qaren.

#47

Despite my best efforts, his life was heading in a direction I wasn’t willing to follow, nor could I prevent the decline. Chose to save myself and get out of the d**g scene which eventually killed him.

#48

She told her son (he and my daughter are the same age) that my daughter looked like a wh*re in her homecoming dress. He told my daughter she said that. I asked her through text if it was true and she left me on read. I never talked to her again. Several years later she started working where i was already working and tried to buddy up to me in her new hire training and I completely ignored her.

#49

She got into a poly relationship with a guy and his wife. He was uncomfortable with how much her and I messaged each other so she sent me this long message telling me she was cutting me out of her life completely because, “He would do the same if I asked him to.”.

#50

I got a graduate degree and a new job. She told me I thought I was better than her despite never saying, thinking, or feeling that.

#51

She did something illegal so I ended the friendship, because I couldn’t deal with it emotionally.

#52

I saved money for years to go on a trip of a lifetime. He couldn’t save anything. I still went. He is still pissed about it 20 years later.

#53

He stopped being good about hanging out on mutual terms. I always had to come to him. He never even wanted to meet halfway when it worked with his schedule. So we had no face to face tine

Then, he got weird on facebook. Everything was deranged rants about conspiracies and hating Trump. Not run of the mill stuff where somebody is blowing off steam where I could just agree or ignore it like a typical political post, true conspiracy stuff.

So, we had no personal interaction and no online interaction. There wasn’t anything to maintain even if I continued to try.

#54

Had kids still made an effort for her. Didn’t have a car still got my mom to watch the kids here and there so I could take the bus go see her. I couldn’t always go out clubbing like she wanted because I had a family but was open to always being there having her back and making time. We took pics and she never put them up but had pictures of her other friends everywhere.

She said I was too boring for her. So I just ghosted her when weeks later she wanted comfort cause her bf broke up with her. Stopped caring cause it was one sided and I was clearly being used as the emotional support therapist friend and nothing more.

I was sad years ago but now I’m so glad I let go of that friendship.

#55

Let them move into my apartment, didn’t pay rent and was an animal ab*ser. Called SPCA and had over 50+ animals removed. They operated a “reptile rescue”.

#56

Monopoly. No joke.

#57

She moved to another city and had a new life. New friends, new boyfriend. I noticed she stopped messaging me or taking a long long time to reply to my messages. I tried to reach out but received this kind of cold detachment every single time. It broke my heart. So I also stopped reaching out.

#58

Ripped me off for 1200 bucks.

#59

He went full bible thumper and maga cultist.

#60

He’s a d**g dealer, and I used to be addicted to d***s.

Sounds like a horrible idea really.

#61

I texted asking him to not tell me my deceased mom can hear me sing, she’s watching me, etc anymore cause I’m not religious and when his family was doing it in person I didn’t like it. He texts me sure but the next time we hangout he gets crazy drunk like always and starts screaming that he’ll say whatever he wants cause that’s what he believes.

#62

She is still friends with my ab*sive ex.

#63

She was mad that I had s*x before marriage and guilt-tripped me for it. No, I never told her I adhered to that.

Fast forward to today and she’s living in sin with her boyfriend. Hypocrite.

#64

I wish I had such short answers as some people have.

Mine was a slow descend. I was always expected to talk her off the ledge, but I never got any support back. She has substance abuse issues, but always put herself in situations in which she’d be faced with said substances. Then I’d have to talk her down for a week afterward due to her anxiety.

The last straw was a friend camp out. She got hammered, as per usual. She did c*ke and went off the rails. She hyper focused on me, and brought up issues we had in our friendship from 3 years ago, that we had talked extensively about. It turned into her literally yelling at me and not allowing me to talk. I simply looked at her and said im not going to stand here and take this, and walked away.

She followed me around, trying to talk/yell. She accuses me of being “the bad guy.” No clue what she was even saying. I gave her one last warning. I said you don’t want to do this. She told me she was done with me, she’d never talk to me again, and to *go f**k myself*. I walked away. This was around 8pm ish. For the rest of the evening she tried hugging me, she tried holding my hand, she tried putting her head on my shoulder.
I just ignored her, walked away and continued to enjoy my night.

She was so messed up she couldn’t stand straight. Mutual friends put her to bed 4 times. Each time she came back out. I blocked her on all platforms the next morning.

I heard from friends later that she “doesn’t remember what happened.” That she doesn’t know why I’m upset with her.

She even ran into my mom at the store and started to cry, saying she misses me and she regrets going camping?? It’s been a year and a half. I can say my life has been substantially more calm, and I don’t deal with high school theatrics anymore. Oh we’re in our mid 30s.

#65

He decided I was a “commie”, and my daughter was an abomination that didn’t deserve to live.

#66

Because I get tired sitting on the phone for 2 hours listening to the same exact s**t every single time! Husband did this husband did that. I tired to tell her to move on. They’ve been divorced 3 years and still live together because they can’t sale their house. Bought it 5 years ago for $250k painted the inside and now want $1.5m for it. They’ve had 1 showing in 3 years!! Shut up already!

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