Perhaps you remember Andersen’s famous fairy tale “The Ugly Duckling”? About how the birds on the farm paid absolutely no attention to the strange chick, and then were incredibly shocked when he grew into a beautiful strong swan and left the farm, to everyone’s admiration?
But what if the tale developed differently, and even when the beautiful swan grew up, he was still considered an ugly duckling? And, like in childhood, completely ignored? The great storyteller did not foresee such a plot – though it is, by the way, quite realistic.
For example, just read this popular thread in the AITA Reddit community, which has amassed nearly 13K upvotes and over 1.4K miscellaneous comments – mostly in support of the Original Poster. No, the plot is not quite classic, but it’s no less interesting.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster and his wife live across the country from his relatives and contact them rarely
Image source: daveynin (not the actual photo)
So, the OP and his wife live across the country from his relatives, and neither of them have sought to communicate regularly, getting together only on rare significant occasions like weddings or funerals.
Image source: throwawaysecchild
The OP and his wife are deaf from birth and the man was ignored by relatives since his very childhood
The thing is that the OP and his wife are deaf from birth, and while the woman was lucky with relatives, her husband was practically ignored since his childhood. That is, the child was fed, dressed, taken to school – but nothing more. No one tried to make friends with him, to delve into his inner world – and this is actually very insulting.
Image source: throwawaysecchild
The OP’s parents did not even bother to learn sign language to make it easier for him to communicate
What can we talk about, when the parents didn’t even bother to learn sign language so that it would be more convenient for their son to communicate with them? Of course, the OP could talk and read lips, but still, some of the information is lost there.
Moreover, the relatives always, for some reason, considered OP and his wife incapable and not so smart. According to the author of the post, they seriously believed that the husband and wife were living at the expense of the woman’s relatives.
Image source: throwawaysecchild
The couple decided that they didn’t want any of the husband’s family in their daughter’s life
In the meantime, they both have good jobs with a stable income, travel regularly and are only waiting for the real estate market to cool down in order to buy a house. Moreover, recently, a new reason for this has appeared…
Yes, two years ago, the OP’s wife delivered a daughter, but the parents decided not to advertise this event among his relatives. On the one hand, of course, there are many children of her age there – on the other, the OP and his wife were afraid that if the girl was also born deaf, she would be treated the same as her father was once treated.
Image source: throwawaysecchild
One day, the OP’s older brother somehow found out that he has a niece
The girl was born without any hearing problems, but her parents did not change their minds. They kept her off social media and lived quietly for two years, until OP’s older brother somehow found out that he had a niece.
We must admit that the OP’s older brother, in his own words, does not have his life together – he works odd jobs, has unstable relationships and regularly mooches off people. Nevertheless, the family somehow considered the man to be a wonderful and very smart person, despite his behavior. And yes, as a child, he treated the OP badly.
Image source: Rad Blondie (not the actual photo)
The relatives blasted the OP for being a selfish snob
So, when the relatives found out that for two whole years, the OP had concealed from them the very fact of the girl’s existence, they were furious. The OP’s wife was chosen as the main antagonist – they say it is she who set her husband against his family, and they would be happy to help raise the child.
However, the OP and his wife believe that in the circle of people who treated their father badly throughout his life, the daughter will not be welcome. Although, being under an avalanche of accusations, the man even wondered to himself whether he is doing the right thing by depriving his daughter of communication with relatives.
People in the comments not only supported the OP’s decision, but also gave him a lot of advice
All things said, the commenters were unanimously on his side and massively supported such a decision. The OP was asked to think about whether he wants his relatives to try to convince his daughter that her father is incapable before she can understand the difference herself.
According to people in the comments, this family is unlikely to help raise a child; the girl is probably only interesting to them because, unlike her father, she can hear. The OP was advised to keep distance, enjoy life and continue to protect his child from them.
We’re pretty sure you have something to say about this story too, so feel free to express your opinion and we promise to take your comments with all our attention.
The post “They Didn’t Even Learn Sign Language For Me”: Deaf Dad’s Neglectful Relatives Get Upset He Never Told Them He Has A Daughter first appeared on Bored Panda.
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