Selling a property is a big deal. I’d be running errands with a camera crew trying to take immaculate snaps, catching the tiniest dust, staging the best possible facade—something my flat could never be. But you gotta let the pros do their job.

And some real estate agents couldn’t care less. Because when it comes to attracting potential buyers, the advertised pictures hit the bottom of the barrel. And we’re talking standards. From nasty décor and filthy interiors to prison-like rooms and “holy cow, what’s that thing,” these property photos are quality nightmare material. Thanks to the blog called Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos, which celebrates “low standards and a lack of attention to detail,” we now know how not to sell a property. And it’s fairly easy: whatever you do, just don’t post that goddamn pic. After you’re done, check out our previous post with terrible real estate photos here.

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#1 The Music Drowns Out The Washing Machine Drowns Out The Toilet Helps You Forget About The Mirrors

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#2 Anyone Thinking Of Trying Rachmaninov’s 2nd, Forget It. I’m Not In The Mood

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#3 The Lord Has Sent Us A Sign, In The Form Of 2 Hideous Rugs And A Huge Crystal Bowling Pin

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#4 We Don’t Know What He Does In There. He Says He’ll Tell Us Once He’s Caught Something

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#5 The Plastic Sheeting Is For The Vomit Caused By The Migraine Caused By Everything Else

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#6 Like A Circle In A Spiral, Like A Wheel Within A Wheel. Like A Toilet In A Shower, In A Kitchen, With Hanging Space For Clothes, And A Portable Radiator

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#7 4 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, And Extensive Opportunities For Open Plan Off-Roading

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#8 When It Came To Selling Their House, Slipknot’s Decision To Manage Their Own Viewings Was Ill-Advised And Unsuccessful

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#9 I Love Excercise. I Could Lay In Bed And Watch It All Day

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#10 Property Comes Complete With A Frisky Middle-Aged Woman And Half A Bottle Of Chardonnay

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#11 Off-Street Parking

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#12 Bob Would Smile To Himself Whenever He Thought Of The Money He’d Saved By Not Installing Air-Con

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#13 The Isolationist Equivalent Of A Welcome Mat

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#14 You Can Have Storage Or You Can Have A Bathroom. You Can’t Have Both

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#15 “Honey, I Found The Perfect Place For Our Wall-Mounted Naked Limbless Gender-Neutral Toddler Dolls”

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#16 That Time When Open Plan Living Broke Through The Acceptability Threshold

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#17 I’ll Make The Bed As Soon As I Can Find It

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#18 Large, Flat Side Yard Is Perfect For Your Obese Inflatable Children

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#19 How Thoughtful Of The Seller To Leave Us A Self-Portrait Of Her Breast-Feeding Her Dog

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#20 The Sun Will Set, And The Demons Of The Night Will Rise. Until Then, The Vaccuum Cleaner Sleeps A Dreamless Sleep

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#21 I Mean It Marv, If You Walk Out That Door We’re Finished

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#22 As He Listened To Them Driving Away, George Realised It Wasn’t A Real Game Of Hide And Seek

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#23 Will Require Some Modernisation, Once You’ve Burned It To The Ground

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#24 So We Have This Fireplace To Store Our Firewood For The Fire We Don’t Have

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#25 If You Want To Look Around We Recommend Sharing Your Proposed Route, In Case We Need To Contact Mountain Rescue

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#26 A Total Eclipse Of The Thumb

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#27 I’m Not Suggesting It’s Inauthentic, But Did Henry Viii Definitely Have A Weights Bench?

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#28 The Property Is Best Viewed Through The Confused Tears Of A Lost Child

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#29 “As Gregor Samsa Awoke One Morning From Uneasy Dreams He Found Himself Transformed Into A Black Gym Ball”

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#30 This Bath Was Brought To You By The Letter H And The Realisation That Interior Design Just Changed Forever

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#31 We Read Somewhere That Sitting Too Close To The TV Is Bad For You

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