There’s a part of our brain that meticulously researches the energy efficiency of a new washing machine and compares the decibel levels of blenders. That part is sensible, practical, and probably makes very good life choices. Then there’s the other part. The part that sees a hot dog toaster or a shower gel dispenser shaped like a giant nose and thinks, “My life is incomplete without this objectively terrible item.”
This, dear friends, is an ode to that glorious, chaotic other part. We’ve ventured into the land of appliances so niche they make you wonder about the very specific problem they were designed to solve, so single-purpose they defy all logic, and so wonderfully absurd you can’t help but crack a smile. These are the terrible appliances we still secretly (or not-so-secretly) want, because sometimes, joy isn’t practical – it’s just plain fun.
#1 The Ability To Whip Up A Personal Hot Pot Literally Anywhere, From Your Desk To A Remote Mountain Top (Probably), Is A Terribly Specific Power Granted By This Portable Electric Hot Pot, And We’re Here For That Level Of Chaos
Review: “As a busy young adult living alone, sometimes I just really fall behind on space of keeping up with cleaning dishes, so this is a PERFECT backup for snacks or ramen when I just don’t have the time or energy to get all of my dishes done! comes with the cords and a really nice spatula.” – makenna
Buy Now: amazon.com
#2 You Can Now Ask Alexa To Boil Water From The Comfort Of Your Couch With This Smart Electric Kettle, Because Walking To The Kitchen Is Clearly Too Much Effort When You’re Peak Lazy, And That’s A Level Of Terrible Genius We Respect
Review: “The best tea kettle I’ve ever bought. I absolutely love it. I highly recommend anybody looking for a good pour over the kettle.” – Sara
Buy Now: amazon.com
#3 Your Shower Is About To Become A Monument To Questionable Taste And Hilarious Hygiene With This Giant Nose Shower Gel Dispenser That’s So Terribly Bizarre, It’s Almost A Work Of Art
A funny nose shaped shower gel dispenser soap dispenser bottle.
Buy Now: amazon.com
#4 Your Dinner Guests Will Do A Confused Double-Take When You Season Their Food With This Wooden Hand Pepper Mill That’s So Terribly Literal, It’s Actually Kind Of Brilliant In A Creepy, “Addams Family” Way
Review: “So much fun. Position the fingers for the mood of the day! On a serious note, it works well. Easy to operate with my arthritic hands.” – Butterfly
Buy Now: amazon.com
#5 Your Late-Night Snacking Is About To Get Dangerously Specific And Wonderfully Terrible With This Pretzel Maker That Comes With Its Own Cheese Melting Compartment
Review: “This makes “pretzels” in that the items that come out of it are pretzel shaped but they aren’t exactly traditional pretzels by any means. Aside from that it’s a cute idea and simple enough to operate. Making food into fun shapes is always a good way to get my picky kiddo to eat so I’m happy to have it in my arsenal. Would recommend to others.” – Mama
Buy Now: amazon.com
#6 Avoid Another Tragic Bagel-Slicing Injury And Embrace The Terrible Specificity Of This Bagel Guillotine, Which Promises A Perfect, Safe Slice Every Time, Even If It Looks Like A Tiny Medieval Execution Device For Bread
Review: “Love! This works so well, we got so tired of trying to saw our bagels in half and in half is generous usually they ended up being very uneven. This solved all those problems it’s so easy a child can use it (as long as they are old enough to understand it is a blade and to keep their fingers back) and the cut is perfect we absolutely love.” – swicole
Buy Now: amazon.com
You’ve now glimpsed into the abyss of wonderfully questionable kitchen gadgets, and if you’re anything like us, your sensible side is probably having a mild panic attack while your impulsive side is already measuring counter space. But the journey into the heart of “so bad it’s good” appliance design is far from over. There are still more marvels of terrible ingenuity waiting to be discovered.
#7 Embrace The Beautiful Absurdity Of Appliance Specialization With This Hot Dog Toaster That Crisps Your Buns And Heats Your Wieners With The Kind Of Terrible, Single-Minded Focus We Can’t Help But Admire
Review: “Loved it, the first time I used it it needed to be cooked a little more. The second time the hotdogs and buns came out perfect and delicious.” – stephen deneen
Buy Now: amazon.com
#8 Your Kitchen Counter Might Not Need Another Single-Purpose Appliance, But Your Inner Child Absolutely Demands You Get This Shaved Ice & Snow Cone Maker For Maximum Nostalgic Summer Vibes, Even If It’s Only Used Twice A Year
Review: “I love this. It makes enough to put into my iced tea, and it is nice and cold.” – Amazon Customer
Buy Now: amazon.com
#9 Your Desire For A Beverage That Looks Like It’s Emerging From The Upside Down Will Finally Be Sated By This Probably-Not-Energy-Efficient Mini Fridge With Intense LED Portal Lights, Practicality Be Damned
Review: “Small desk fridge I bought to bring to work. Surprised at how cold it actually will get the drinks to be, I am impressed. You can hardly tell it’s even running, the fan is super quiet, which is great!” – Vinnie
Buy Now: amazon.com
#10 Your Dentist Might Send You A Strongly Worded Letter, But Your Inner Child Will Throw A Party If You Bring Home This Cotton Candy Machine, A Terribly Impractical Appliance That Promises Pure, Sugary Joy For At Least One Afternoon
Review: “Cotton candy machine galore! This is so much fun. We used it on movie night and had a blast. It makes the best cotton candy around. Taste great and doesn’t leave the machine all sticky.” – Payton Herken
Buy Now: amazon.com
#11 Yes, A Knife Could Cut A Watermelon, But Why Use A Multi-Purpose Tool When You Can Have This Gloriously Specific Watermelon Cutter That Looks Like A Medieval Torture Device But Promises Perfect, Albeit Unnecessary, Slices?
Review: “I was skeptical when my husband ordered them. Easy to use, and clean. Cuts perfect little squares.” – mellop
Buy Now: amazon.com
#12 This Microwave Bacon Cooker Promises Crispy Bacon With Minimal Mess, And While It Might Look Like A Questionable Science Experiment, Who Are We To Argue With Easier Bacon?
Review: “Such a simple concept and works amazingly well! I will never cook bacon any other way again. Made crispy delicious bacon quickly with little to no zero mess in the microwave. You can fit a whole a pound on it at once but it does take longer to cook. I preferred to cook half a pound at a time for 8 minutes. Easy. Fast. Delicious.No mess. Love this product. BLTs all summer 😋” – Allysha Austin
Buy Now: amazon.com
Embracing the wonderfully impractical is a special kind of thrill, isn’t it? It’s like giving your inner five-year-old the keys to the appliance store with a blank check. As we continue this delightful descent into the world of things you absolutely do not need but will suddenly desperately want, remember: life’s too short for boring kitchens.
#13 You’ll Probably Use This Electric Crepe Maker Once To Impress Your Brunch Guests And Then It’ll Gather Dust, But For That One Glorious Morning Of Perfectly Thin Crepes, Its Terrible Specificity Will Be Worth It
Review: “I was looking for an easy way to make good crepes. It helps that it comes with the shallow plate that you add the batter to for dipping the maker. It took a few tries to understand how to quickly touch the maker to the batter and then flip over. If you leave it too long then the batter in the plate starts to cook and clump. It also took a few tries to get it even over the surface of the maker. But once I got that figured out we were good to go. So easy to use. Heats up quickly. Makes thin, even crepes. And a quick wipe after it has cooled down makes it very easy to clean. We use it regularly and the kids have started using it as well.” – Julie Bethea
Buy Now: amazon.com
#14 Your Childhood Dreams Of An Endless Supply Of Coke Floats Can Finally (And Terribly Impractically) Come True With This Coca-Cola Float & Slushy Maker That Screams ‘Novelty Purchase’ But Also ‘Delicious.’
Review: “This cup is amazing! I give them out as a birthday gift to all my kid’s friends. They all love them. We love putting juice, lemonade and occasionally soda in these cups.” – J.B.
Buy Now: amazon.com
#15 Your Weekend Brunches Are About To Get Adorably Inefficient With This Mini Pancake And Waffle Maker That Produces Tiny, Individual Breakfast Items, A Terribly Impractical But Undeniably Cute Appliance
Review: “This is SO cute. I put the Sharpie in there so you can see the sizing – they are pretty small, so I think my kids will love them and think they are cute. I’m gonna try making protein waffles too for me in them. The packaging was nice and it feels really high quality – excited for this!” – Andria Lindquist
Buy Now: amazon.com
#16 That Sad Bunch Of Cilantro You Bought With Good Intentions And Then Promptly Forgot About In The Fridge Crisper Might Actually Stand A Chance With This Fridge Herb Saver, An Appliance So Specific It’s Almost Admirable In Its Terrible Niche-Ness
Review: “I have been wanting an herb saver for some time. I’ve seen quite a few variations, but I love that this one is super simple to clean. The pill shaped container splits in two so you can easily scrub the interior. With summer around the corner, the herbs in my garden will definitely last longer using this saver.” – Romy
Buy Now: amazon.com
#17 Unleash Your Inner Apex Predator On That Pulled Pork With These Meat Shredding Claws That Are So Ridiculously Over-The-Top For A Kitchen Tool, They Cross The Line From Terrible To Undeniably Awesome
Review: “If you cook for whatever reason sometimes you want to shred chicken or pork or whatever. This is a perfect tool. I have to boil chicken for my dog somewhat often because of his delicate stomach. These help me shred up a couple chicken breasts with ease after they’ve been cooked. Easy to clean after use. And they’re cute, what’s not to like.” – Nick D.
Buy Now: amazon.com
#18 Sure, You Could Use Regular Scissors Or Even A Knife, But Where’s The Terrible, Niche Fun In That When You Could Be Snipping Your Herbs With The Absurd Precision Of These Multi-Bladed Herb Scissors?
Review: “Finally, a large hand held fresh herb scizzor, and a stripper tool with attached razor guard.” – Largolinda
Buy Now: amazon.com
#19 This 3-In-1 Breakfast Maker Station Looks Like Something A Cartoon Inventor Would Dream Up, And While It’s Terribly Specific, The Idea Of Sausage, Toast, And Eggs From One Vaguely Retro Machine Is Undeniably Tempting
Review: “I feel this was such a good purchase. The potatoes were baked and the next day usually fried. This is so good for cooking for one person or two. It took less than 10 minutes. Space saver, cleaned up real easy. I recommend this to anyone.” – Diana
Buy Now: amazon.com
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