Article created by: Justinas Keturka
Excuse me, doctor. I have a quick question. I haven’t eaten vegetables in 17 years, sleep 4 hours each night, don’t take any vitamins and drink about 8 ounces of water a day. Why in the world am I feeling fatigued all the time?
Medical school is extremely challenging for a reason, and doctors would never expect the average person to know all of the ins and outs of the human body. But everyone should at least know how to take care of themselves (or know when to go to the hospital), right?
Doctors on Reddit have recently been sharing ridiculous things they’ve seen patients do, so we’ve gathered some of their most facepalm-worthy stories below. Keep reading to find a conversation with Dr. Scott Ross, and be sure to upvote the stories that have convinced you to stop putting off your next check-up!
#1
NICU nurse. Had a family with premature triplets that ended up growing, getting very healthy, and all three went home! Definitely a success story.
A few weeks later all three are back in the hospital. We were shocked. Turns out mom brought triplet A into the hospital for dehydration and fever. They ran an electrolyte panel and the different electrolytes were so off that it could’ve been deadly. Baby was immediately admitted and started on IV fluids and medications.
We sent the kids home on a premature baby formula that provides some extra calories to help them grow (Mom did pump/breastfeed, just not enough for triplets, understandably.) Mom stopped using the formula immediately and bought some weird raw goat or sheep milk product from Europe (unsure on precise details) because it’s not even sold in the US. Yeah, uh, your premature triplets either need breast milk or baby formula. They literally cannot handle or process whatever it was she gave them. She was shocked. Had to bring in the other two for testing and they were just as messed up. All three spent several days in the hospital on IVs with many medications to stabilize them so their heart and kidneys wouldn’t fail.
This goes for all infants, btw. Please don’t feed them ANYTHING but baby formula or breast milk for the first 6 months. Please. 🤦🏼♀️.
Image credits: MarauderKnight1880
#2
I used to be a medical scribe in a pediatric office. A mom came in complaining that her daughter was turning black, obviously we were concerned what kind of infection or abuse was this child experiencing? The kid was tanning, she was running around and playing in the sun and was tanning.
Image credits: straightoutascranton
#3
I’m friends with a nutritionist at a hospital. One of the stories that stuck with me was a mid 30s construction worker just collapsed one day. His coworkers called an ambulance and he rushed to the hospital right? Well they discover he’s nutrient deficient like in everything. So my friend is called in and she’s asking him about his diet…” well I don’t like eating breakfast, and I don’t like eating then going back to work so I don’t eat lunch and then I get home and the wife has to make dinner so I start drinking beer and by the time dinner is ready I don’t wanna eat. Just have some more beer and go to bed.” The dude was living off of nothing but beer. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually ate something.
Image credits: Tthelaundryman
#4
My paramedic gf at the time told me of a person who would call out the ambulance frequently. She was a germaphobe and would swallow razor-blades frozen into icecubes to somehow destroy the germs inside her.
Thankfully the stomach acid often blunted the blades, but still….
Image credits: Finegling
#5
Me, a dentist, to my patient: “Please, do not superglue your tooth back in your mouth again.”
Image credits: chowchowracer
#6
I’m an optometrist in the U.S. and have a couple of memorable ones.
I had an argument with one patient who insisted that there were great healing benefits to using urine eye drops. When asked about how she got these urine eye drops, she admitted to taking them directly from the toilet and putting them straight into her eyes. My pleas for her to consider the risk of developing bacterial keratitis fell on deaf ears. Still dreading the day that one returns to clinic with an infection.
And if I had a nickel for every time a patient came to me ~6 months after taking a severe blow to the eye and losing vision, only to find that they had a total retinal detachment that they thought they could just “walk off” instead of seeking care, I would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice in the three years I’ve been practicing.
Image credits: StoicAscent
#7
Had a patient with recurrent infected leg ulcers. Reason: rather than clean and dress them as instructed, she was letting her dog “lick them clean”.
Image credits: Doctoria_96
#8
My mother tried treating a diabetic who was convinced she was allergic to water, so she’d only drink coca cola. I’ll never forget that one….
Image credits: Famous-Comparison595
#9
My patient who crawled under his truck and “leg pressed” his engine back into place two weeks after his total hip arthroplasty. Came into clinic complaining of pain….
Image credits: syncopation_fracture
#10
EMT here. Got called out for a “hand laceration with severe bleeding” so naturally we urgently drive to the callers house.
We arrive to find this young, around 18yr old female holding her hand and wincing in pain. Confused at the lack of blood I ask her to point to her wound & she points to a cut no bigger than 1cm. She states that her family doesn’t own bandages & she didn’t want to get an infection by going to the pharmacy to buy them.
Image credits: thunderfox57
#11
My best friend is in his residency right now and he had a patient that had a wound in his face that was festering so bad there were maggots living in it. He didn’t think it was important enough to be seen until they started falling into his cereal.
Image credits: DeffectiveNecessary
#12
I once had a 50-something lady in the ER complaining of difficulty using her left hand. Turned out that it wasn’t new, rather something that had been an issue all her life.
She was right handed.
Image credits: Dr_diller
#13
I had a lady with heart failure who was in the hospital almost monthly with heart failure exacerbations. We told her time and again to limit salt and water intake. And she’d go home and drink pickle juice.
Image credits: zimmer199
#14
I have so many stories as a semi-doctor (dentist), but a striking case just a few weeks ago was a 40-something fellow who wondered why all of his teeth suddenly started to hurt all of the time.
We talk a bit. Coincidentally, he mentions, his acid reflux has been acting up a little but, meh, that wasn’t a big concern for him. (PS: “a little bit” to him meant walking around for hours at night to settle his stomach if he ate dinner too late.)
Turns out this dude had started drinking 6 liters of seltzer water a day to try and lose weight.
SIX LITERS. EVERY DAY.
Um, yeah buddy, your GI tract is basically acid bubbles at this point! Your teeth are melting and your stomach is frothing over! Give your body a break and have some regular water from time to time! .
Image credits: buccal_up
#15
Not a doctor but former army medic. We were doing a month long training mission in a desert, I forget which one, and I had a soldier come to me complaining of eye pain. He had left his one a day contacts in for about 3 weeks.
Image credits: Snackdoc189
#16
Not a doctor, but A classmate of mine at uni for engineering gave himself scurvy by only eating chicken tenders daily.
Image credits: Wannawiz
#17
A guy came in with a badly inflamed wound (was initially a small scratch). Chief complaint was pain. I asked them if they took any pain relievers already, they mentioned they took Ibuprofen and Celecoxib, to no avail. Surprised as to how these had no effect whatsoever, I asked him how often he drank them. Patient: “Drank?” Turns out, he opened the capsules and applied the powder inside directly on the wound.
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Image credits: EulaVengeance
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