“She Would Ruin The Aesthetic”: Woman Defends Excluding Friend From Extravagant Ball, Gets A Reality Check

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Throwing a good party is no easy task: from planning the theme to setting the vibe, it takes serious time, effort, and creativity. So it’s no surprise that hosts often go the extra mile to make sure everything turns out just right.

For instance, one woman shared how she organized a book-themed ball for her club but decided not to invite her close friend, fearing she’d “ruin the aesthetic” by showing up underdressed. When the friend eventually found out, it led to hurt feelings and silence. Now, the internet is split: was the host simply protecting her vision, or was she being unnecessarily shallow?

A woman shared how she decided to host an elegant ball-themed party for her book club, inspired by the grand book balls trending online

Two women in extravagant ball gowns discussing a letter, highlighting the theme of aesthetic and exclusion.

Image credits: seventyfourimages / Envato (not the actual photo)

However, she admitted to not inviting one of her closest friends, believing she wouldn’t dress up or match the event’s formal vibe

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Text excerpt about hosting an extravagant ball with book club friends, focusing on ball gowns and intricate masks.

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Text excerpt about a woman defending excluding a friend from an extravagant ball due to aesthetic concerns.

Text excerpt about a woman defending excluding a friend from her extravagant ball to maintain the event's aesthetic.

Woman defends excluding friend from extravagant ball to protect aesthetic, faces backlash for her decision.

Young woman in denim jacket looking frustrated while talking on phone, defending aesthetic and social exclusion decisions.

Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt describing a woman defending excluding a friend to preserve the aesthetic of an extravagant ball event.

Text excerpt discussing exclusion from extravagant ball due to concerns about ruining the aesthetic and social consequences.

Image credits: YellowSockMonkey

Planning a party is more than ordering props; it’s about creating an experience and coordinating every detail

Throwing a great party can be one of the most exhilarating experiences: the music, the laughter, the décor, and the thrill of creating a night people won’t stop talking about. From birthdays and anniversaries to quirky themed get-togethers, hosting gives people a chance to express creativity and bring friends together. It’s also why many turn to professional event planners to bring their vision to life because behind every picture-perfect party is a ton of planning, coordination, and last-minute chaos that often pros can handle gracefully.

To dive deeper into the world of theme parties, we spoke with Umang Narvekar, popularly known as The Tanned Event Planner. With over a decade of experience in event production, weddings, concerts, and festivals, Umang has seen it all. “Today, one can choose any theme, quite literally,” he laughs. “We’ve had clients come to us with ideas ranging from classic ones like Harry Potter or The Great Gatsby to completely offbeat ones like funky socks or Bollywood villains. The key is to make it fun and personal, something that sparks excitement the moment guests hear about it.”

When it comes to selecting the right concept, Umang says it’s important to balance creativity with relatability. “We always suggest clients go for themes their guests can connect with. You don’t want people to feel out of place or confused about what to wear or how to participate,” he explains. “If it’s too niche, you risk losing the enthusiasm. But if it’s too common, it may not stand out. So, striking that perfect middle ground is essential, that’s what creates magic.”

As the owner of T-House Productions, Umang emphasizes that executing a good theme party is far from easy. “It takes time and careful planning,” he says. “We don’t just order props online and call it a day. We research, design, and customize every detail, from the music playlist to the lighting tones. We want people to walk in and instantly feel transported into another world.” His approach goes beyond decoration; it’s about storytelling through space, sound, and energy.

“Finding the right venue is another crucial element,” Umang adds. “It needs to match the scale and mood of your theme. If you’re hosting a grand masquerade ball, a cozy café won’t cut it. But if you’re planning an intimate reading night, a large hall might feel cold and empty. The venue sets the tone, it’s the first impression guests get when they walk in.” He stresses that even logistical aspects like parking, accessibility, and acoustics can make or break the experience.

Sticking to a budget can be challenging, especially for a themed party, but with careful planning and smart choices, it’s possible to pull off a stunning event without overspending

Recognized in ET Panache’s 35 Under 35, Umang has built a name for seamlessly blending creativity with practicality. “Just like decorations, the food and drinks need to be on par with the theme,” he says. “You can’t have a tropical beach party with plain sandwiches and tea. Details matter, even serving cocktails with tiny umbrellas can add charm. We curate menus that not only match the theme visually but also enhance the mood of the night.”

Of course, even the best-planned event is nothing without excitement from the guests. “Hype is everything,” Umang grins. “Get people talking about your party before it even begins. Send creative invites, tease the theme on social media, maybe even drop a few costume hints. When people show up dressed the part, the energy automatically doubles. Everyone becomes a character, and that’s what makes it unforgettable.”

Budgeting, though often the least glamorous part of planning, is where most parties succeed or fail. “You can have a million ideas, but without a realistic budget, it all falls apart,” says Umang. “We help clients prioritize and focus on what truly matters. You don’t need to spend a fortune to make it look amazing. Sometimes, clever lighting or minimal decor can make a big impact.”

As we wrapped up, Umang left us with a piece of advice every aspiring host should remember: “A great party isn’t about perfection, t’s about connection,” he says with a smile. “You can have glittering décor and five-star catering, but if people aren’t smiling, laughing, and feeling good, it’s just another event. Focus on the vibe, make your guests feel special, and everything else will fall into place.”

In this particular case, it’s clear that the host poured a lot of time, energy, and creativity into planning the ball. But the decision not to invite her close friend raises an important question: was it fair to exclude someone she cares about, even if she thought her friend wouldn’t dress up? It’s a tricky balance between protecting the vision of an event and maintaining relationships. Some might argue that a true friend could still attend respectfully, while others may understand wanting to preserve the aesthetic. What’s your take: was she justified, or should she have handled things differently?

Many online felt the host should have still invited her friend but made it clear that dressing according to the theme was required

Reddit comment addressing friendship and attire choice in an extravagant ball dispute over exclusion.

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Reddit comment criticizing exclusion of a friend from an extravagant ball, citing concern about ruining the aesthetic.

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Comment from user PlateNo7021 suggesting formal attire invitations to exclude a friend from an extravagant ball aesthetic.

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Screenshot of online comment defending excluding a friend from extravagant ball due to dress code, sparking reality check discussion.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment defending excluding a friend from an extravagant ball over dress code assumptions.

Social media comment criticizing a woman for excluding a friend from an extravagant ball, calling out the mean girl behavior.

Comment defending excluding friend from extravagant ball for dress reasons, highlighting empathy and friendship concerns.

Comment discussing exclusion of a friend from a ball due to dress code and maintaining the event's aesthetic standards.

User comment defending excluding friend from ball, debating aesthetics and inclusion in an extravagant event.

Comment defending excluding friend from extravagant ball, discussing hurt feelings and aesthetic concerns.

Comment defending exclusion of friend from extravagant ball due to dress code concerns in an online discussion.

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Screenshot of an online comment reading YTA you sound insufferable, discussing excluding a friend from an extravagant ball.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment debating excluding a friend from an extravagant ball over concerns about aesthetic impact.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing exclusion from an extravagant ball and defending the aesthetic choice.

Comment defending excluding a friend from an extravagant ball, discussing dress codes and social etiquette consequences.

Some commenters argued that both women were at fault, one for excluding, the other for not being open to compromise

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing dress codes and defending excluding a friend from an extravagant ball based on aesthetics.

Reddit comment defending excluding friend from extravagant ball, discussing dress code and respecting hostess's aesthetic preferences.

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Others defended the host, saying she put in tremendous effort to plan a themed event and deserved guests who shared her enthusiasm

Comment discussing excluding friend from extravagant ball to protect the event's aesthetic and theme expectations.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing exclusion from an extravagant ball due to dress code and aesthetic concerns.

User comment defending excluding a friend from extravagant ball, discussing aesthetic and reality check issues.

Comment defending excluding a friend from an extravagant ball over concerns she would ruin the aesthetic, sparking debate.

Comment defending excluding a friend from an extravagant ball due to dress code and enjoyment, sparking a reality check discussion.

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