It’s natural for parents to set rules for their kids—some to keep them safe, others to teach discipline. Most of these are the usual suspects: no wandering around after dark, no living in a pigsty of a bedroom, and definitely no cartoons until your math homework is finished. Pretty standard stuff.

But not everyone had it that simple. One Redditor asked people to share the bizarre rules they grew up with, and the replies did not disappoint. Some are downright hilarious, others so strange they feel like fever dreams, and a few practically beg to be unpacked in therapy. Keep scrolling to see for yourself.

• Read More: “Punishment Food”: 50 People Share The Strangest Rules Their Parents Ever Made Them Follow

#1

I had to drink a huge glass of milk every morning as a kid, because my parents believed it would make me grow tall. But I was lactose intolerant, so it just ended up making me feel really nauseous and it wrecked my digestion. Yet, they still forced me and my little brother to drink it.

Sometimes it would take us an hour to finish it, because of how miserable we felt… And we weren’t allowed to do anything unless we had finished the milk.I think one time my brother even puked all the milk out😅

To this day my mom says I am not tall enough because I never drank milk? Even tho I was forced to drink it daily😂 Very revisionist memory…

Image credits: whai_r_u_gae

#2

My mom would say no to me having fun multiple times a week. Let’s say I went to Tiffany’s house on Friday. Then Chelsea invited me to her house Saturday. Nope can’t go because I went to Tiffany’s yesterday. Would all my homework and chores be done before I asked? Yes. Was there some sort of family plans or literally anything else that I had to do? Nope. Just had to stay home because I had fun the day before, and I’m not allowed to have fun more than one day a week.

Then my parents wondered why I started sneaking out as a teen.

Image credits: Moretti123

#3

I wasn’t allowed to watch anything that depicted a dysfunctional family in case I started to realize that was us.

Image credits: oleandur

#4

I wasn’t allowed in the house when nobody was home which means in Minnesota winter I’d have to sit outside for a few hours until someone got home.

I had to pick by hand any of the things in the carpet out by hand (think white sock link, etc.). Why not use a vacuum? Well because it would get in the way of the TV. And I had to do it while my father would sit there drinking and watching TV because he kept the vacuum locked up and wanted to make sure I was actually doing it.

I would have to dig up the septic tank every year and then mix it for hours with a long stick. If once piece of toilet paper was pulled up by him I’d have to spend a hours/days just sitting there mixing with a stick because he was too cheap to have the septic tank pumped.

I was allowed 2 minutes to shower twice a week. Not 2 minutes of water, 2 minutes total time. I could only do it when he was home and he was willing to time it. I just took baths in the lake near by.

Only allowed to eat dinner, so I stole food or ate out of dumpsters.

After all that and about 6 years went by after being homeless or living with friends I moved back to try and reconnect and I was allowed to stay in a shack with no heat/ac/water or bathroom. I wasn’t allowed in the house, or to use the shower ever and then they randomly decided I wasn’t allowed any of their food (30 minute drive with no car) so I just left and never talked with them again.

Image credits: spytez

#5

We weren’t allowed to cry when we were hurt unless we were bleeding.

As an adult it’s almost impossible for me to cry now.

Image credits: ShenTzuKhan

#6

My mom allowed me to watch incredibly violent movies from a very early age but godFORBID there was a kissing scene. I couldn’t watch anyone kissing or lightly touching each other with her until I was at least 17.

Image credits: kat278

#7

I wasn’t allowed to wear pink pants because my mom said they made boys think of flesh. Even as a kid I knew that was weird as hell.

Image credits: suspiciousknitting

#8

My sister and I were only allowed to use two squares of TP for #1 and three squares for #2. We cried for extra TP when we started getting our periods.

Image credits: alwaysacloud

#9

My mom who had multiple untreated mental health conditions and childhood trauma couldn’t deal with my being a severely underweight 6 year old when I started grade school in 1963.

I think she had some sort of breakdown and became irrationally obsessed with fattening me as much as possible.

She actually obtained adult strength / dose appetite stimulants in order for my appetite to become insatiable and mom took full advantage of it.

We had to be excused from the dinner table and while my toddler brother and dad were in the living room watching TV the rule for me is that I had to remain at the table while my mom did the dishes and consume EVERYTHING left over – which meant I was given plate after plate after plate (usually five helpings) before I was allowed to leave the table.

By the time I was allowed to go into the living room and lay down on my side on a blanket to watch TV I could barely take shallow breaths and was afraid that I was going to burst.

As a result of this forced gluttony my weight went from 45 pounds to 195 pounds during my second grade and for the remainder of my grade school I was the fattest kid in the entire school eventually gaining 200 more pounds before the end of the sixth grade.

Image credits: Jumpy_Cobbler7783

#10

My parents were really religious when I was growing up (strangely enough, they aren’t anymore) & my dad had a rule that we could only listen to Christian music. It was fine by me because I didn’t have an iPod or a CD player anyway. One day I was in the kitchen though and my dad started singing “I’m like a bird” lol while he was cooking breakfast. I was like um daddy that isn’t a Christian song. And he said “Yeah, but it’s Nelly. Of course you can listen to Nelly. She’s a classic!” 😂 That story is so random & it makes me laugh whenever I remember it.

Image credits: anothercairn

#11

My parents absolutely forbade me from getting my hair cut. Not even a little bit. I was 16 when I was finally allowed to get a trim. I remember telling the hairdresser to cut it below my shoulders, and my mom stood behind me and pointed to my lower back instead. (Yes, the hairdresser listened to my mom instead of me).

It wasn’t a weird religious thing, or anything. They just insisted my hair was “so pretty” and it would absolutely *break their hearts* to get it cut.

Image credits: heidismiles

#12

Growing up as the only person in my immediate family with blue eyes (everybody else had brown eyes) I was not allowed to ever wear green because my mom had decided that blue and green were bad together.

When I was old enough to choose my own clothes, I had a green period: green jacket, sweaters, tops, even green socks lol.

Plot twist: my eyes are blue BUT right around the iris, they’re actually green, so wearing green brings out the green in my eyes. Jokes on you mom.

Image credits: MonstreDelicat

#13

Beds had to be made each morning and had to remain perfect until bed time. If I wanted to have an afternoon nap on the weekends then I was allowed to take the pillow from the bed to sleep on the floor but the pillow had to go back perfectly afterwards.

Image credits: ComfyInDots

#14

When my sister had a friend over after school or something, and it was time for dinner, our mom would make her friend sit in the other room while we ate. Would not ever offer to let her friend join us or allow the TV on or anything. Just made the friend sit there and be quiet while we ate.

Apparently it was family time only.

Image credits: LJonReddit

#15

No early bedtimes (unless for punishments), no sleeping in at all, and no naps.

Took a three hour nap on the first day I moved into my apartment, and slept in until 8 the next day. It was fabulous.

Also:

Not allowed to be in your room during the day. I purposely would get into trouble so I could sit in my room and read.

Image credits: FictionalWeirdo

#16

If we stayed home sick from school we were not allowed to use the computer. It was like being punished for being sick. Guess what my dad did when he stayed home sick from work? Spent the entire day on the computer.

Image credits: Asprinkleofglitter7

#17

I wasn’t allowed to sit on the couch until I was 16. Mom wanted to keep it nice and didn’t want any kids “rootin’” on it. I used to go sit on it when she wasn’t home. Yeah … I lived dangerously.

Image credits: paisley-alien

#18

My parents gave me a ridiculously early bedtime for a pre-teen. It would still be daylight, in the summer and I’d have to go to bed at 7pm. The sun wasn’t going to set for a long time yet. Wide awake, I’d sit at my window for the next few hours watching my brother and the neighbor kids playing outside. It took forever for me to get tired. It really sucked.

Image credits: azCleverGirl

#19

Not being able to go out in high school because they were going out and I had to babysit my siblings.

Image credits: FirstyearRN

#20

I had to call my mom every 15-30 minutes to check in while I was out with friends.

The problem was I had a 2nd hand iPhone whose battery would die after being off the charger for 20 minutes. My mom knew this and didn’t care, so I saved her cell and the house phone numbers in all my friend’s phones. It also didn’t help that she rarely answered the house phone so I always had to leave a message because trying her cell would not work as the service was so [bad] where I lived.

When I turned 17, and called to check in like usual she started asking why I was calling. I guess 17 was the randomly picked age where I didn’t have to check in anymore.

Image credits: junepeppers

#21

Not being allowed to meet friends especially going to their homes.
Later I realised that our family wasn’t normal, but I always thought that’s life because by not allowing me to visit other family dynamics I never had something to compare.

Image credits: GaMePlAy105

#22

Rock and Roll music was going to make me stupid and unemployable for life.

Image credits: PresentHouse9774

#23

We basically were expected to wash our hand every time we pet our cats. My mom was convinced the cats were covered with disease and worms and we would get those things too if we didn’t wash our hand right after petting the cats (Pretty sure my Mom has some diagnosed OCD). Our cats ended up loving being pet by our feet since we didn’t want to wash our hands every time we were affectionate to your cats.

Now that I’m an adult with my own cats I can confidently say I never got a disease from them even though I don’t wash my hands every time I touch them.

Image credits: SonOfPlinkett

#24

“If you don’t eat it, you’ll wear it” – enforced by our father when we (my twin and I) were about 4-5 (and therefore, not choosing the type/amount of food on our plates), ended when we were like 6-8 and our mother got sick of cleaning up the food that would fall on the floor when he would dump our plates over our heads as punishment. Combined with his ”don’t spill anything ever” rule, it led to some good times.

On one occasion, I spilled some lemonade at dinner, which ended up on my plate. Since the food then had the juice on it, I didn’t want to eat it. Enraged, he poured what was left in the lemonade jug (maybe a few cups’ worth) over my head, followed by the plate of food I was refusing to eat, then made me pick up the food off the floor with my hands. Good times.

Image credits: kandy-kayne

#25

No one is allowed to close a door all the way. Ever. Not even the bathroom door.

Image credits: VixenTraffic

#26

My dad told me that when he was done eating, I was also done eating. So if i wanted to eat what I wanted (was always very very hungry despite being well fed), I had to scarf it down fast. In recent years I’ve managed to train myself to eat slower, but it’s still a conscious thing I have to focus on.

Image credits: stallion64

#27

No turning on the lights during thunderstorms. Apparently the lightning would ‘see us.’ 😭.

Image credits: beatriceyue

#28

My stepmother had a rule that unmarried people couldn’t share a bed in her house. My long term girlfriend whom I shared a bed and an apartment had to sleep in a separate room. One Christmas her brother stayed over with his new girlfriend and she tried it on him. He just said “Ha, no, that’s not happening”, and they went to the guest bedroom.

Then I got married, and we went to visit my parents for Christmas. She tried to get us to sleep in separate rooms and I stared at her for a moment before I said “No, I’m going to sleep in the same bed as my wife, thank you very much.”

She was fuming as her brain tried to come up with some reason why this couldn’t happen, I could see her clenching her jaw before she finally gritted out “Right. Yes. Of course”. She looked like she swallowed a bug.

Image credits: Polymath_Father

#29

I wasn’t allowed to use the internet in any way shape or form before 1pm on Sundays.

I realized in my teenage years that this was because we had stopped going to church, but my parents didn’t want my friends to know (and by extension, my friends’ parents) we weren’t in church on Sunday morning.

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Image credits: TheGeneral_Specific

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