Pet Groomer Lists 10 Hilarious Reasons Why Your Dog’s Haircut Costs More Than Yours

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Pet grooming is often looked at as an optional extra for many people, a luxury treatment for their pet who could quite easily get by with a dunk in the local river or lake. However, this really isn’t the case. Pet groomers offer several essential maintenance services for your pet’s good health, cleaning the eyes, ears and butts that your beloved companion might be unable, or unwilling, to look after themselves.

This tongue-in-cheek sign found at one pet groomers perfectly sums it up. Obviously frustrated and bored by the same questions about their fees, they listed all the reasons why a pet groomer is a far more in-depth and physically demanding job than your average hairdresser. Perhaps after reading these, you’ll have a new-found appreciation for the job that they do!

# 10: Your hairdresser doesn’t wash and clean your rear end.

Often, your haircut will come with a shampoo and even a head massage too if you’re lucky. However, all pet grooming involves a full shampoo, trim and a butt clean, something which might be slightly awkward if your hairdresser attempted to do the same during your appointment.

# 9. You don’t go eight weeks without washing or brushing your hair.

Your average human will wash and brush their hair regularly, keeping it neat and clean and smelling good. This is not the case with most pets, although most cats do a great job. Dogs, however, can show up to the salon with a matted, tangled mess of muddy fur, which can take quite a long time to sort out.

# 8. Your hairdresser doesn’t give you a sanitary trim.

Hairdressers work on a small and localized area, sticking exclusively to the head. Your pubes are your problem. If your hairdresser had to head down to your delicate areas, scissors in hand, they’d probably ask for a little more compensation too.

# 7. Your hairdresser doesn’t clean your ears.

Again, this is your job, we have the tools and the ability to do it ourselves. But for our pets, ear cleaning is a very important service that needs patience and training, hence the small fee increase.

Image credits: Aiko, Thomas & Juliette

# 6. Your hairdresser doesn’t remove the boogers from your eyes.

Many breeds of dog have overactive tear ducts that cause mucus to build up, causing discomfort and risking infection. This gunk can often be pretty oozy and gross, but pet groomers are only happy to help your pup and take care of it for them.

# 5. You sit still for your hairdresser.

Imagine if, instead of sitting obediently in your swivelly chair, moving your head when prompted and serving up interesting conversation points, you went to the hairdresser and refused to sit still, wriggling about all over the salon and needing to be physically restrained? Welcome to the world of the pet groomer, where getting the subject to sit still is half the battle.

# 4. Your haircut doesn’t include a manicure or pedicure.

We go to a different salon and pay a separate fee to look after our nails on hands and feet. However, there are no dedicated dog ‘pawicurists;’ your pet groomer does the lot.

Image credits: Amy fricano

# 3. Your hairdresser only washes and cuts the hair on your head.

Again, pits, pubes, chest, toe and nipple hair are out-of-bounds to your hairdresser, what you do with them is your own business. Not for the pet groomer, who must deal with various growths and sproutings all over your dear pets’ body.

# 2. You don’t bite or scratch your hairdresser.

If you did decide to go in for a nibble on your hairdresser while they are at work, you’d quickly find yourself on the sex offender’s register. For pet groomers, however, this is a common occurrence and one of the hazards of the job. A bit of extra ‘danger’ money to take these risks into consideration is more than understandable if you ask me.

# 1. The likelihood of you pooping on your hairdresser is pretty slim.

Your hairdresser assumes that most of their clients would politely excuse themselves if nature were to come calling. Being interrupted on the job may be slightly annoying, particularly if you have a tight schedule to adhere to, but it’s nothing compared to trying to work in close contact with a poopy-pants.