Weddings are that one special occasion when everyone just has to not be stupid for a day. Or entitled. Or problematic in general.

Yet, some can’t handle smiling and nodding and saying some nice words to the newlyweds… not even for a day, in a number of cases for several hours, maybe twelve tops because they like to party too much.

No, they just have to go wild and do something that will most certainly ruin the bride’s and the groom’s special day. Maybe we should be taking notes for when they themselves get married and you can deliver petty revenge?

#1

At the evening meal before the bride’s mother wished loudly that her daughter was marrying a doctor instead of a nurse my identical twin brother. 

Image credits: Martin Woodhead

#2

[Groom] hooked up with the maid of honor before and after. It was kinda like that moment he cried because of seeing the maid of honor in the dress and not the wife.

Image credits: Shauree

#3

I went to a wedding reception in a hotel. Every one was staying over night. All the rooms were in a cluster. Liquor flowed. I went back to my room to smoke a joint near the bathroom fan. I could hear through the duct work 2 people having sex in the next room. I waited until they were done and left the room. I opened my door a crack and saw the groom-my cousin walking out with his new father-in-law.

Image credits: Thomas McKeon

You might think that weddings are a big deal for two main reasons: [1] it only happens “once” and [2] it’s a life event signifying a beginning of a new chapter. Both legit and serious reasons, but there’s more:

It celebrates the sanctity of marriage; it’s a declaration of love and commitment; it gives you a sense of ownership as it’s yours; it’s what will keep you down memory lane.

#4

The mother of the bride walked into her daughter’s wedding in a beautiful expensive extra-white long flowing sparkling gown that outclassed, and out-shown her daughter’s off-white, cheaper and less desirable looking wedding dress. The mother also carried a bigger bouquet, had her hair and makeup professionally done and was smiling and waving the entire time. The bride was frowning and acted like she had a pebble in her shoe. Needless to say, the mom got more attention than the bride.

Image credits: Denny McLeod

#5

I literally caught the bridegroom and a bridesmaid in a bedroom closet on his wedding day. Not my business.

Image credits: Tara Lucchese

#6

Bride did not want the groom’s mother at the wedding because she said her wheelchair would “ruin the pictures.”

Image credits: Margaret McEvoy

If anything, marriage, both as a day of celebration and as a lifetime of living signifies a special bond you won’t have with anyone else. So, having someone in the wedding go full frat is a certain kind of violation of the atmosphere that should reside during the festivities.

Yet again, if anything, this ain’t your celebration day—know your place and act respectful by having fun, but not overshadowing the fun of the newlyweds. Unless you’re a groom and you cheat on the bride. Then it’s not your celebration day anymore either.

#7

My fiance’s sister got married a few years back. The music she played while she was walking down the aisle was the Imperial Death March from Star Wars. You know, Darth Vader’s entrance.

Image credits: David Summers

#8

A neighbor of my husband (for our reception) made rattlesnake stew, without telling anyone what the meat was. People started asking when they’d bite on tiny, little bones. I was appalled at his lack of consideration at MY wedding. This ws the same neighbor who I discovered sneaking up a hill on our property, watching us nude in the hot tub.

Image credits: Wanda Tucker

#9

A friend of mine was the bridesmaid so I crashed the wedding and sat in the back. When the preacher said “if anyone has any reason why this man and this woman…. Speak now or forever hold your peace” THE BRIDE’S EX STOOD UP AND PROFESSED HIS UNDYING LOVE AND ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM INSTEAD! The look on the bride’s face was priceless. The fact that her father, the bride, and the groom all restrained themselves from pummeling the guy was admirable.

Image credits: Suzanna Nicholson

With that said, let’s talk about wedding etiquette. You already probably understood the first rule: the wedding isn’t about you. It’s about celebrating the unity of the newlyweds. Or whatever things the newlyweds say they’re celebrating.

Naturally, this also means no wearing white, no complaining about anything, and no toasting unless instructed otherwise.

#10

I was at a wedding years ago when a guy proposed to his girlfriend in front of the entire reception. I guess he didn’t get the memo that this is a faux pas of galactic proportions. The bride and the groom were surprisingly cool with it (at least on the outside) but you could tell that everyone had pretty bad second-hand embarrassment. The worst part is that the couple that got engaged never even got married, so the whole situation was for nothing.

Image credits: Ivana Davies

#11

How about the bride and bridesmaids in dresses doing handstands on top of beer keg and drinking from it. Now back in the days keg parties bonfires in jeans guys or girls maybe so then. Oh by the way groom was really disappointed by his new wife’s never seen before action. Not long lasting marriage.

Image credits: Tim Pearce

#12

a friend from high school was getting married to his girlfriend from college, who was a small-sized person (thin and short)

a woman who had also been to high school with us and had been a good friend of the groom for years gave a toast and said very seriously to him and all attendees: “remember that poison also comes in small bottles”

we were all astounded

Image credits: Renata Lima

It goes without saying, don’t go overboard with the drinks either. Alcohol does funny things to the mind and it might only be funny to you once something gets said or done that the guests or the bride or groom don’t approve of.

And if there’s self-control, everything else should follow suit. Staying off social media and off your phone in general, not pestering the newlyweds during key moments and not being too early or too late are a bonus in terms of etiquette.

#13

Picture it… October in Minnesota. The leaves are changing, it’s an unseasonably cold day (about 39 degrees) and we are at a local lakeside supper club for a wedding…outdoors (good thing I ran to Target that morning for leggings to wear under my dress!) where my husband is a groomsman. A little back story, this is the bride’s third wedding and the groom’s second. The entire wedding party is comprised of individuals from the periphery of the happy couple’s lives, mostly co-workers, because their families are sick of shelling out money for weddings for these two.

Anyway, the groom had constructed on his own (he and my husband work in a woodshop) a beautiful arbor for their backdrop, kind of had a cabin/shack look to it but fitting for their event. So, the officiant begins the ceremony, I’m sitting with some of the other wives and co-workers from the shop and the groom interrupts the officiant, grabs a beer from the back side of the arbor, cracks it open and announces “I CAN’T DO THIS SOBER!” takes a big swig and then hands it off to the best man. A few other times throughout the short ceremony he snapped his fingers in the direction of the best man (who unsuccessfully tried to pass the beer down to the last guy in line to keep it away from the groom) so he could take another drink.

When the ceremony ended and we began to make our way inside for the cocktail hour the shop secretary said to me “Did you see that too or am I in a bad dream right now?” I replied that this was real life. The bride went in the back door and straight across the banquet hall and out the front door without saying a word. She got in her car and left. The bridesmaids went after her. The groom defended himself saying “It was just a joke, I thought she’d laugh!” The bridesmaids went after her (she just went back to their home about a mile away) and they convinced her to come back. She was threatening to shred their marriage license instead of filing it. I don’t blame her one bit! Six years later they are married and doing well, but yowza what a way to start your marriage!!

Image credits: Venna Trettel

#14

A bridesmaid arranged her own spotlight dance with the groom. The DJ announced them, and the groom politely met her on floor. The chosen song, mystifyingly, was “Hopelessly Devoted” from the movie Grease.

If you don’t know the film, it’s an imploring ballad about heartbreak.

Then they slow-danced, the groom smiling tolerantly while she clung to him.

And wept.

Not like “eyes glistening with emotion.” Her face crumpled up, and she cried, clasping his shoulders like she needed support. For the duration of the song.

I was at the singles table with a bunch of their friends I didn’t know, who also were goggling at the spectacle. I asked, “…Is that Rob’s sister?”

Wordlessly they shook their heads NO. And not his cousin or former babysitter either. She was a childhood friend—now a mutual friend of the couple—who had always had an unrequited love for the groom.

Probably I will never know if the couple approved the dedication in advance, or if she used her bridesmaid status to strong-arm the DJ and caught them off-guard. But they could not have anticipated that uncomfortable scene.

It was the bridesmaid’s masochistic farewell, played out for a captive audience.

Image credits: Allyson Miller

#15

It was an Orthodox Church wedding, where bride and groom walk around the altar with their hands tied and candles and crowns… all in all very picturesque. After the church wedding, the ceremony continued at groom’s paternal home, huge house and the yard so heavily decorated with flowers that it was hard to breathe. Apparently, there were several customs for bride to manage, before entering the house. One of them was that she should lift the youngest child on the groom’s side (which happened to be his sister’s baby boy), kiss him and turn him around couple of times for everyone to see, so “they would have a lot of children as beautiful and healthy as that one”.

So, the bride lifted the baby, but baby didn’t like it, at all. He kept kicking and screaming while she kissed him and then, there was the smell. Immediately, everyone knew what happened, but no one wanted to say a thing. To hurry the thing and be able to return the boy to his mother for change, bride turned the baby few times, but it was maybe too fast… baby made the face, then threw up all over her wedding dress.

Did I mention that bride was pregnant? She made a face as well, quickly handled the boy to her new husband and turned, throwing up on the side of the pavement, then starting to sway. Chair was quickly provided and people went to cooling her down, unbuttoning her dress to let her breathe and so on. It was the surreal sight. But the last time I heard of them, they were still happily married with three children of their own, so maybe it was lucky.

Image credits: Illyria Duncan

Another very important thing to note when it comes to ruining someone’s special day is that they paid very good money to make it happen. Imagine having to shove an average of $16,000 to over $46,000 per wedding, depending on the state. So, would you want someone to come over and make that much money go to waste with whatever you thought was a good idea in your drunken stupor? Stop it!

#16

I can think of a few things that might make for a good answer to this, but I’m going to go with something that happened at my sister’s wedding.

During the reception, apparently one of the guests wanted to make an announcement that he and his wife were going to be trying for a second child. Neither half of the couple had any fertility or health issues, they just were oblivious as to why this was not something appropriate to announce at a wedding.

Image credits: Barbara Villiers

#17

This one is pretty mild compared to the others I’ve read.

It’s a tradition in our family (and others) to decorate the car of the bride/groom. At one cousin’s wedding, they went one step further. And it backfired. They filled up the back seat with trash and hid another cousin (aged 7) underneath it. She was supposed to pop up a mile or so down the road and surprise them, but since we put her back there in advance, she fell asleep. We figured something was wrong when they didn’t immediately come back. No cell phone back in those days either. She woke up about 2 hours later! Their trip to bring her back didn’t make them too happy!

Image credits: Patrick Young

#18

I went to a wedding reception once. About 150 people all up.

It comes time for the toasts. The groom’s father walks to the front. Pulls a stool up to the microphone. Opens up a brief case and pulls out a newspaper. Then proceeds to read it quietly for about two minutes.

Apparently to those who know him, he is famously boring and likes his newspapers. About eight people on the groom’s side found this uproariously hilarious. The other 142 of us were going, “what the hell?”

Image credits: James Risner

Now, instead of being a buzzkill, you can be a good friend and offer help with the various (and numerous) aspects of the wedding to lift at least some of the burden from the shoulders of the newlyweds.

And it doesn’t have to be anything too committing: go dress shopping with the bride, keep her positive before her big day (because anxiety and fear might kick in) and ultimately show up for the wedding. Your face might be what the newlyweds need.

#19

At my cousin’s reception her friend decided to, during her maid of honor speech, announce her engagement. My cousins husband, who is a nice guy, in HIS speech decides to tell everyone there that he thanked them for all the assistance they gave, because he didn’t have the means.

Same reception:. It was a potluck wedding, and as my sister was getting th container she brought food in, my cousins other friend was packing up all the leftovers to take home! And there was a LOT! My cousin didn’t know till later when someone said something. She also tried to pack up all the soda, but my other cousin stopped her. Funny thing is, this woman didn’t even contribute!

Also, my aunt (brides mother) had bought mum’s for all the tables. No one knew they were allowed to take one, and she went around collecting them all to take home, AND she wanted her daughter to reimburse her for them. It was quite the reception.

My other aunt, who helped a lot with the reception made the bride’s dress. Something she has never attempted before. My cousin did not get it till the day before! She had a dress on hold at a department store just in case. The dress comes, and it is hideous. It was just the shell that you use for measuring. My cousin was so embarrassed. This same aunt proceeded to also inform my sister that she would have met her daughter’s husband if they had been allowed to go to HER wedding, 8 years prior.

This was quite the evening

Image credits: Brenda Parry

#20

My best friend, (at the time), wore a very similar dress as me, (the bride), at the wedding reception. Same colour too! Her hair was even the same style!!!

She was going around all the tables on my husbands side and introducing herself to everyone, like she was the bride.

My friends and family all told me what she was doing, so to avoid any drama, I ignored her the whole night. I gave her no attention and she left the venue early with her husband

Image credits: QWERTY STAR

#21

I have to – sadly – nominate myself as the ‘You gotta be kidding me’ culprit.

A Royal Marine asked me to sing at a wedding. One of his Company was the groom. The plan was that I would start singing when the bride entered the church. I was to be out of sight the whole time — standing in a side porch. I was given a walkie-talkie headset so that I could get the signal for when she arrived. Neil, the Royal Marine, was standing with me.

Neil had no time for the bride, me neither. The pair of us in the porch, he reminded me none of the groom’s friends wanted them to get married.

I agreed, ‘Who would want to marry her, seriously? She’s a fantasist. Saying she was volunteering with orphans when she was actually in rehab. And she supposedly modeled for Armani…with that nose!’ I went on. ‘How much did this bash cost? She’s the classic type who daddy is always paying for. Schools, ponies, ballet, rehab for her eating disorder; the elaborate wedding to her first husband, another stint in rehab for the breakdown she had when her husband was caught fooling around with their 18-year-old male neighbour…’

The vicar hurried out into the porch and shushed me. The sound technician had messed up, and fed my walkie-talkie headset through the pulpit microphone channel.

Every word I’d said had come loud and clear out of speakers above the altar

Image credits: Iestyn Edwards

Besides that, you can take on some of the planning, especially if it’s an extra part. If you have a spacious and beautiful garden and can host the pre-wedding party or even the reception. Otherwise, setting up the décor or keeping an eye on the guests during the party can go a long way. Heck, even keeping the mothers and their mother’s love at bay during those several crucial moments at the ceremony could help take pressure off the bride and the groom.

#22

At my brother’s first wedding reception, the song he chose to have played for his dance with the bride was “Too Legit To Quit”! Of course, the marriage ended soon afterward.

#23

My first wife actually forgot the wedding ring she was going to give me, and had to run back to her room to get the ring! (We were married in her parents home, as her mother was unable to walk).

Image credits: William Smith

#24

We flew to my husband’s sons wedding; gave for us at least an expensive gift, matron of honor was his sister who neglected to tell us what we were expected to do. She sat us at a table completely across the dance floor and away from the head table where we sat with complete strangers. She never introduced her dad as the father of the groom, nor was he allowed to give a toast (one he had beautifully written on a piece of paper. When it came time for the dances, the new wife was too busy to dance with her father in law. She also never came to the table. However my husband’s ex wife and her husband had a place of honor. The mother did a veritable bump and grind slow dance with her son that left most people feeling very embarrased, several of the strangers at our table not realizing who we were, said it well, “embarrassing and disgusting”. I looked over and saw my neglected husband who thought his son and daughter loved him had tears rolling down his cheeks. I made an excuse that dad was very tired, wished the newlyweds a happy marriage and we left. My husband was an involved dad after his divorce, never missed child support or visitation, took them on vacations, paid for many extras the kids wanted. He later told me he cried on what should have been one of his happiest moments as he realized his kids never appreciated his sacrifices for them. We are elderly and not in the best of health but we sure did our best.

Image credits: Margot Watson

And sometimes helping doesn’t necessarily need to have something to do with doing. But rather not doing. Does the bride have horrible taste in bridesmaid dresses? Is she insisting on a bachelorette party 4 hours away from where everyone lives? These are non-issues that you can just nod and agree over, especially if you see that the bride is really pumped up about it. It’s about her. You can live with one night of inconvenience. So, pick your battles wisely.

#25

My ex was the best man at his best friend’s wedding. He proceeded to get VERY drunk before it was time for dinner and unfortunately the best man’s speech. The speech started out beautifully, he chronologically documented their friendship over the past 10 years. Then he started to speak about the first time he met the bride. The speech quickly went south, he said “heard” the bride instead of “met” the bride and began talking explicitly about walking in on them together when he and his friend were roommates.

The room got dead silent except for him talking and laughing in the microphone. I was mortified. Everyone’s jaws were on the floor- even the newly married couple’s! I saw the bride’s father stand up, so I made a mad dash for the microphone. As I grabbed it I called my ex an “@sshole”, pushed him out of the way, and handed the mic to the bride’s father who then passed it to the Pastor to Bless the meal!

Fortunately my ex passed out and missed the remainder of the wedding reception. Of course he had no recollection of what happened!

Image credits: Kathy Williams

#26

I worked in event planning and coordination for close to 10 years, there is not enough space on the internet for me to tell you the stupid things I have seen. The best one was someone demanding to bring children to a black tie event. That was a fun one because it wasn’t even someone close to the bride or the groom it was some shirt tail relatives date who thought her children deserved to be at the reception even though the wedding couple had rented a large suite and hired nannies to watch after any children that were there including their own! I helped plan both events and honestly I think the kids had more fun! There were Disney movies, video games and lots of junk food in the suite as opposed to a stuffy sit down formal dinner with fancy food, 12 forks and stuffy boring speeches that went on FOREVER. Said guest was put out and complained to anyone that would listen about how unfair it was that her little darlings weren’t allowed to be there. Finally the father of the groom had enough (and possible a scotch or 3) and told her off. She spent most of the rest of the nigh pouting in a corner. On a happier note during my last check on the kids party her children were having a BLAST playing and eating junk!

Image credits: Casey Jayne

#27

The sister of the groom walked in with a white ankle dress with white shoes.

Let’s say that everyone was like “WTF ?” or “You gotta be kidding me

Lastly, you can help out by just being there for the newlyweds. Do they want you to help research stuff, pick out venues, themes, etc? Do it. Sometimes, chatting and being a shoulder is all it takes to make their wedding experience all the more meaningful and easier. Brownie points if you offer to help out with the boring stuff. Your friendship will be better off because of it.

#28

How about this: my first wedding was civil. The minister hadn’t met me or my fiancé ahead of time. Several times the minister kept grabbing the Best Man/ witness’s sleeve and pulling HIM over to me trying to marry him off to me instead! The first time caught the four of us off guard ( my Matron of Honor/witness) then the two men – and we sort of awkwardly laughed it off. Several times later we just asked what was up.

Very weird. The marriage didn’t last… maybe she knew or sensed something.

Image credits: Caesi Bevis

#29

Guest making a drunken speech and indicating that he had been romantically involved with the bride years before. Even if true, wrong place to say that

#30

My husband and I were invited to the wedding of a couple we really didn’t know very well, but we knew a lot of the other guests there, so we decided to go and have a good time. The wedding was close to our house on the Big Island, so the bride wore a beautiful white dress with a hakalei (flower crown) and the groom a Hawaiian shirt and maile lei.

They had written their own vows, and the bride went first. It was beautiful.

Then the groom. He started going on about how his bride was the only one who who completely understood him– emotionally, physically, sexually. He continued on about how their relationship was so satisfying with her as his lover. It was like that sickening “lovah” sketch on Saturday nite live with the two gushing over each other in front of everyone.

He finally ends the speech by saying how lucky he is to have “her perfect body” to hold against his own for the rest of his life.

Most of us were shuffling our feet and looking at the floor. I’m glad i didn’t know who the parents were in the crowd, they would’ve been mortified.

Image credits: Kathie McDonald Rost

So, hopefully, you’ll never be that guy at a wedding once you’re done with this article, but if something like this does happen to you, you can consider these stories as inspiration for revenge. You’re welcome.

But before you go out ruining people’s lives as payback, share your stories and takes in the comment section below!

#31

We’ve gone to many large production weddings all over the world, but this one was off the charts. There were so many details that stressed out the families it all seemed rather inappropriate and even self destructive.

Fifteen minutes before the ceremony was to start, hundreds were seated in the cathedral when a groomsman approached the alter taking the microphone to announce regrettably that the father of the bride had unexpectedly died and the bride’s uncle would be filling in for him. We learned that the FOB had been assigned some last minute minor detail and raced to the church, suffering a massive heart attack in the parking lot.

The lavish reception went forward while the FOB was transported to the morgue. The wedding photos told a fairly sad tale. At least dad mercifully died before he got the bar bill.

Image credits: PK Powell

#32

The one that stands out the most over the years was the one where the brother walked the bride down the aisle. He dad had reportedly said, “I attended one wedding, and that was a mistake. I’m not going to another one.” When I asked, “Who brings this woman to be married to this man?” Her brother answered, “Her family and I.” Then he put her hand in the groom’s hand, along with a pair of thumb cuffs. I’m not sure if he expected a reaction, and, if so, what that reaction might be. What he got was a few moments of stunned silence before we proceeded with the rest of the service. Thumb cuffs at the wedding? You gotta be kidding me

#33

My husband, Mark, is a musician and has played a hundreds of weddings. The one that stands out was a wedding in mid-October, which is the tail end of our rainy season. Mark suggested to the bride that the wedding be held earlier in the day, as the rain often starts mid-afternoon. No, the bride insisted the wedding be at 2pm.

The wedding was held in the beautiful garden of a lakeside house. Everyone was dressed in their best clothes. The ceremony began at 2pm, and at 2:05, the skies opened up with a downpour. With the ceremony unfinished, the bride asked the band to play so everyone could dance, which turned the garden into a field of mud. The ground was so wet that the garden tents didn’t help much. But the bride wanted the band to play, so they did.

Before long, everyone was covered in mud from head to toe. Mark describes the scene as 45 minutes of muddy mayhem before the band stopped playing and everyone went to the lake to try and wash the mud off.

Image credits: Traci Styner

#34

I would say a man from the wedding party dipping his three fingers in the ? potato salad and taking his fingers to his mouth. Mind you everyone standing at that table put their plates down and walked away!

#35

My new son-in-law’s brother tried to pick a fist fight during the reception. Stupid, selfish thing to do.

#36

My husband and I flew across country to attend his oldest son’s wedding a few years ago. The couple were married at the same church where her parents wed. The 4-page wedding program included 2 photos, neither of which featured the bride and groom, but of her parents on their wedding day. Earlier that day, the bride, her mother, both of her grandmothers and all 14 (!) bridesmaids spent the day in a hotel suite being pampered, but the groom’s mother, grandmother and I were not invited. After the ceremony, we stayed behind to have our pictures taken. That took 1 1/2 hours, but the groom’s family (us) were only included in 2 poses.

Afterwards, we went to the reception with about 300 other people. The bride’s parents paid for the reception which featured 6 open bars and a full dinner. They also paid to rent out an entire art museum for the event, lease a municipal parking lot for the overflow of guests and paid for two city buses to shuttle people back and forth. While I certainly appreciate how much money they must have spent, I still think it was inappropriate that when the time came, her parents “stole” the honor of the first dance. It also turned out to be the bride’s mother’s birthday, which she celebrated by opening presents at her table while we were seated for dinner. It just seemed like the evening was more about their largesse than it was about the newlyweds. And to add insult to injury, we’ve never seen a single photo from that day.

Image credits: Cristy Gullett

#37

My mouthy sister in law was insisting the wedding start on time, with my elderly parents NOT in attendance. They were being driven by someone who got lost on the way to an unfamiliar beach house. The bride had no problem with the delay, they had the venue for the day.

It was my bossy sister in law who I told STFU, “it’s not your wedding…”. My parents arrived late (being late is almost a family tradition, although this time it was truly unintentional). The wedding proceeded and it was beautiful. My brother and his bride have been together for over 30 years, and still going strong.

SIL is still bossy, but we love her anyway.

#38

My wedding reception (2nd time around) took place at Millwall FC banqueting suite.

At some point during the evening event, a security guard rushed up to me as I was making my way around talking to, and thanking our guests. He demanded to know where my husband was. I had no idea, it was a big area and I couldn’t see all of it from where I stood.

The groom and a number of his friends – all die-hard Lions fans had ‘escaped’ through a window on to the terraces and from there onto the pitch. I have a memorable picture of them, some of them stripped to their underwear, posing in the goal mouth.

I thought it was hilarious but the security guard was not amused! Why he thought that I might have some controlling influence to bring them back, I have no idea. They weren’t hurting anyone or anything by just being where they were.

When my husband re-appeared I just asked him if he had been having a good time, and we had another laugh about it. The security guard/s never did actually catch them, they came back on their own.

#39

It was the bouquet toss. At the time, I had no intention of ever marrying. I didn’t want the bouquet, but I was often dragged into the ritual. Sometimes it was because they didn’t have enough single women. Once, it was personal.

A former friend of mine had the kind of frilly floral ceremony that could have come from a mainstream sitcom, if not a magazine. This is only interesting because when we first met as college sophomores, she insisted that I shouldn’t call myself a feminist because I was wearing lipstick. Apparently, all makeup was a weapon of the patriarchy. Within ten years, that dogmatism morphed into panic about dress appliques and napkin rings. But I digress.

When it was time for the bouquet-toss, she insisted I participate. I didn’t want to make any drama, so I took a position on the outskirts of the group. When she was cued to toss the bouquet, she spun to face the group, saw me, wound up her arms like a baseball pitcher and fired those flowers straight at my gut. I twisted, but it was shock, not athletic reflexes. (My friend the bride was the proud athlete. I was always just the sarcastic one.) Anyhow, I moved, and the bouquet bounced off of me. It caromed sort of toward the next woman, who jumped backwards. Seconds later, it was lying on the ground in the center of an empty circle of women who didn’t want it. The bride was furious. The flower girl timidly tiptoed over and picked it up.

That was back in the 1990s. I’ve seen other funny and sad things at the bouquet toss. Once, I saw a woman skin her knee diving for it even though nobody else stepped forward, but she got it and and was happy and the pictures had already been taken so the bloodstains weren’t a problem.

#40

My niece in law was getting married. She is special needs. To a special need man. Most of their friends are from Special Ed classes or special Olympics. Wife and I are sitting at the reception, watching. She is eating salted peanuts out of a bowl. Every table had a bowl of nuts and a bowl of mints. She had a handful of nuts when I grabbed her hand and slapped it until she dropped the nuts. She asked WTF was that about? I pointed to the next table where a young man was sucking the salt off the nuts, then spitting them back in the bowl, going to the next table to repeat. We had just sat down and knew nothing of the history of our table. She promptly did her best Tom Hanks imitation from “Big” when he gagged on caviar. I thought she was going to spit up a hair ball, lol.

#41

A couple of stories.

An acquaintance, fourth marriage, full white dress wedding with a line-up of attendants. Just seemed a bit over the top.

My own daughter’s wedding. My ex-husbands new wife, only married a few months, changed decorations and added flowers the day of the wedding, because what we had done was “substandard “ and talked loudly about it. My daughter had planned and put together a beautiful venue on the budget we had. New wife was giving instructions and directions, I over heard a guest ask if she was the mother of the bride, she said YES! She changed the meal seating. We let all of this slide, not wanting to cause a scene. The last straw was when she instructed the kitchen crew(we had prepared the food with the help of friends who ran a catering business) not to put certain items on the buffet. My Dad actually pointed out that about a third of the guests had gone through the buffet, missing those items when he finally got into the line…yep, she (new wife) rearranged the guests so grandparents were put back. I quickly but quietly had the items added and apologized to guests that dishes had been “forgotten “ and invited anyone missing food to feel free to make another round of the buffet. This evidently sent “new wife “ into a tail spin, as she had ex- husband ( father of the bride) take her home in the middle of the meal, announcing that she had a headache. They only live a couple minutes from the venue, but father of the bride did not return for the rest of the celebration. Sad.

#42

I watched a couple of ‘friends’ of my cousin dress down the bride and groom over the fact they weren’t invited to the dinner. Hell, I was the MC and I didn’t even get invited to the dinner.

Small wedding, trying to save costs, immediate family only, I understood. Don’t know why they didn’t.

#43

When an American friend of mine got married in Thailand, he married a Buddhist woman. The wedding ceremony involved monks chanting while the betrothed kneeled before them. The chanting was going along just fine when my friend interrupted the monks by asking very loudly if they would be finished soon. This was a major insult to the monks and also extremely embarrassing to his bride.

#44

I recieved an invite to my father’s wedding (wife number 3) my mother was wife number 2.

Thr invitation had an RSVP date on it crossed out and a new date put on. From memory we had something like 10 days to RSVP.

The wedding ceremony went ahead, I was told under no circumstances was I to say anything. They thought id make a scene at the does anyone object bit. But I had no intention of doing that, even though I disliked the woman.

My brother and I were around 13-15 yrs old and we were expected to male our own arrangements for getting to the reception, we also had not been told where that was taking place. Luckily my uncle ( dads brother) and my grandfather ( dads, father) arranged for us to get a ride with someone I didn’t know these people.

We were told that dad and new wife were going for photos and only her kids were to be included. Didn’t bother me, it bothered my uncle and grandfather though.

Came time for the meal at the reception, I was on my best behaviour. No talking with my mouth full no swearing no making a nuisance of myself I sat quietly spoke when spoken to etc..

Part way thru the meal I was informed the prebooked taxi had arrived and I was to leave. Oh boy did my grandfather and uncle make a scene, and they were worried I was going to spoil the day. I got to stay till after desert, but I first see the cake cut.

At 15 yrs old I was know for speaking my mind. I also didn’t have much of a filter either. I didn’t like this woman but I also had enough respect for my father to not ruin his day.

Thankfully he eventually came round to his senses and divorced the holier than thou little cow. All I said was About bloody time

#45

When my sister got married, she invited some of her ex’s friends. I was 16. They were in their mid-20s. I walked over to the keg to say hello, and the pervy one said “We couldn’t help you noticing us.”

Puke.

Friggin really. I walked away. Didn’t say another word. Ever. At least not to them

#46

Haha, it was my wedding. Two things happened by two different people.

The night before my wedding, I called my best friend – at the time – to tell him that the groomsmen’s boutineers were at my parents’ house, so to come about 1 hour before the ceremony to pick it up and for something else I can’t remember.

After I told him whatever I needed to tell him, he casually mentions that he can’t come to the wedding after all. At this time, it was already around 9:30pm and I was about to go to sleep because I had to wake up at 4:30am for hair and makeup. He gave some lame excuse and got angry when I started to get upset and cry. We got off the phone on very bad terms and ended our friendship that day. Long story short, my then fiancée came over to calm me down and everything was peachy for the next day.

Second thing that happened was my poor brother got riproaring drunk, became the “life of the party,” dancing like a maniac and threw up big time in the bathroom, all over the sinks and floor. Considering the amount of mess he had made, I’m surprised the hall did not charge us extra for the cleanup. It was that excessive. Back story on him: he had separated from his wife a couple months prior – her decision. Well, didn’t he find out that she had started dating a new guy and she knew this guy when they were still married. He had spent most of the reception drinking to drown his sorrows.

#47

The mother of the groom drove around the outdoor venue screaming “don’t marry that b**ch!” I was shocked but apparently half the guests expected this as the mother hadn’t been invited. Talking over her screams was somewhat difficult but I did. I refuse to allow anyone to destroy a wedding on my watch. Such outbursts are selfish. The mother was effectively cut out of her sons life with her idiotic antics. The couple have two children and are living happily ever after. People need to understand that a wedding isn’t about them or what they want. A wedding is about the couple and their love story.

#48

The groom’s father stood up at the reception, and announced that he was going to grow his hair long, and continue growing it until the bride and groom gave him grandchildren.

I wonder how long his hair is now. They never had kids. They were divorced three years later.

#49

Not so much what was done…more like what wasn’t done.

When you have a catered outdoor wedding in the heatwave of August (every year is the same!) You make sure your guests dont dehydrate!

The catering company refused to serve water to any of the guests. We (family and friends)were sitting in 106°F heat waiting on the wedding party to finish the wedding photo shots.. elsewhere in air conditioning. 1 hour later 3 seniors near heat strokes, 2 40 somethings passed out and 5 kids near fainting. “ Sorry we can’t serve anything until the wedding party is here.” at 1.5 hours the wedding party finally got to their reception in the sweltering heat! Finally we were given water!

#50

I went to a close friend’s wedding, and one of our mutual friends has a very odd wife, Julia. During the cocktail hour, Julia brought out her checkbook and was writing bills and then reconciled her bank statement. During the reception, when people clinked their glasses and the bride and groom kissed, Julia loudly shrieked, “Ewww! That is so disgusting!” Real life is always stranger than fiction, I’ve found.

#51

The wedding of a prominate member in the Church were school teachers and insisted that everything be absolutely perfect..They called me four times if the air conditioning had been turned on in the Church. Drove me nuts. And it was the most botched wedding ceremony I ever preformed.

While walking down the aisle the bride’s train caught a pew candle stand which fell down and caught the paper runner on fire. The ushers quick thinking used the extinguisher just in time.

Then it began to rain and one of the wedding guest fell down the steps to the Church Hall in the basement. The paramedics had to be called.

Finally, the large hot water heater blew the safety valve and hot shot steam into the Hall. The Hall was a sauna with decorations dripping wet. One of the Church senior women crawled on her hands and knees to the hot water heater and turned it off. Her beautiful professional hair style was on her shoulders, poor thing.

All this happened to people who wanted the ceremony to be perfect.

#52

I had a private ceremony and I asked people to show up at a certain time and one person just walked in late and then she was talking during the ceremony I wanted to ask that person to leave so bad but my husband invited her. So I let it go but if it was up to me I would have had an usher to escort out since the ceremony started. She was being very loud and disruptive.

#53

Some time ago, while officiating a wedding in a beautiful Texas Hill Country Venue, a disturbance broke out between the bride and groom families.

Names were called, pushing ensued, a punch or two were thrown.

The outrage was that both families did not like that their kin was now married to the other.

After failing to quell the hostilities, I said, to the couple, “Goodbye and phone me if you’d like to talk, then departed.

Last I heard they are joyfully married with two bambinos, living in Oregon and not talking to either family.

Down road, I do hope there is a healing, as families are supposed to be important. However, if toxic, perhaps moving on is a good thing.

Wishing all well and mucho happiness.

#54

ME! I have officiated tons of weddings over the past 46 years as a minister for Jesus.

About five years ago, I forgot to have the couple kiss! Everyone at the following reception kidded me and we all said it would be one of the most memorable weddings they had attended.

BTW, They came back up front and I announced he could kiss his bride!

#55

My wedding, I had the stomach flu, I was miserable but excited and literally throwing up every 20 minutes. The Best Man went to go get me smart water and came back with Gatorade BRIGHT RED. While I can barely drink water and am wearing a pristine white dress. After two minutes of crying cause I was emotional and dehydrated I just started laughing. My moms friend brought me everything I needed and more and we’ll, 13 years later we’re doing well. Still. White dress… red Gatorade. Why?

#56

Pretty much everything my father said and did during my own wedding.

Anyone reading this that has followed me for awhile knows that my husband and I got married fast. We went from getting our marriage license February 13, to me moving out of my fathers and in with my husband and his mother on the 14th, to saying “I do” on the 21st. My father had a lot of issues with this, despite him going to the courthouse and signing the paperwork for me to marry as a minor. Granted, I had talked him into it, but still, he showed up, he swore under oath, he signed the papers. The morning of my wedding day, he called my now husband and told him I was deformed! My “momma” wanted some pictures taken and told my husband where to go and my father stopped him and tried to scold him. My father said “The truck is gassed up if you want to leave” but that wasn’t meant as good natured kidding, he said it as I stood outside of the doors to walk down the aisle, he was pissed and serious. I wish I had the photos on this phone, but I have several photos where he is visibly mad as he’s walking down the aisle with me and then slumped down in his seat during the ceremony! A lot of my photos are ruined due to him. Then at my “reception”, alcohol was not allowed since my husband and I were minors…. He brought alcohol anyway because that’s what alcoholics do, and then offered the pastor that officiated a drink, to which the pastor was appalled. Luckily, during the “reception” he mostly sat outside, or at least we thought it was lucky until Monday when we noticed liquor bottles and beer cans under a tarp in the bed of our truck (the tarp was heavy enough to not allow them to roll around) AFTER the school day (we were in highschool and had mostly empty alcohol containers on school property). We knew it was him who put them there. That could have gotten us in a lot of trouble.

My father was really a dark spot on my wedding day.

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