Putting together a wedding is, by itself, a pretty big task. The venue, the dates, the flowers, hotel arrangements, guest lists, there are a thousand and one logistical questions to be answered, including the oldest question of all time, what are people going to eat?
A netizen shared a bit of advice for anyone planning a wedding who also has nosy and entitled parents after they discovered that their mother-in-law had secretly called the wedding vendors and was attempting to change the menu. Readers shared their advice and some similar experiences.
If you are paying for your wedding, you really should call all the shots
Image credits: bnenin (not the actual photo)
But one netizen learned that their MIL was trying to make behind the scenes changes
Image credits: mstandret (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymous
Planning a wedding can be exhausting
Setting aside how one might feel about the average wedding costing tens of thousands of dollars, if someone has the money and a dream, they should go for it. That first part wasn’t a typo, the average US wedding cost $33,000 which is a pretty penny, no matter how you look at it. But remember, it’s not just cost. So if you were to pay five figures for your own wedding, you’d probably want everything to be exactly the way you wanted it. Working with a chef to make the perfect menu is one of those things many folks dream of, so it’s impressive to actually make it happen. However, some parents and in-laws seem to believe that they know best and, indeed, need to do something about it.
Some parents love to meddle in their kids’ wedding preparations because they see the wedding as a culmination of years of family history and personal dreams, and they often feel a deep sense of ownership over the event. For many, the wedding is not just a celebration of their child’s union but also a reflection of the family’s traditions and values. This can lead to parents stepping in to ensure that everything is done “properly,” sometimes imposing their own ideas about what the event should look like.
They might recall the way weddings were organized in their own time or believe that they know best when it comes to managing budgets, guest lists, or even the wedding ceremony itself. However, it’s important to remember that, at the end of the day, what matters is the happy couple’s desires and visions. The MIL perhaps thought the menu would be too much, but realistically any rational person would feel happy to get a free, high quality meal like this. The internet is already littered with stories of couple’s who cheaped out.
Some parents feel that they simply know better due to age
Another reason for their involvement is the emotional significance of the day. Parents may feel a mix of pride, nostalgia, and even a bit of sadness at the thought of their child starting a new chapter. This emotional investment can make them overly eager to contribute, sometimes blurring the lines between supportive advice and unwelcome interference. They might see themselves as the guardians of the family’s legacy, determined to preserve certain customs or to ensure that the celebration lives up to the standards they believe are important.
In addition, some parents have a strong desire to be part of the planning process because weddings are one of the few times they feel like they can play a central role in their child’s life. As their kids grow older and become more independent, opportunities for direct involvement become rarer. The wedding, with its many moving parts and opportunities for personal expression, can feel like a last chance to influence an important family milestone. Of course, from a certain perspective it can really just seem like parental entitlement.
Ultimately, while the intentions behind parental meddling often come from a place of love and care, it can lead to tension if the boundaries between helpful support and control are not respected. Finding a balance where parents can contribute without overshadowing the couple’s own vision is essential. When everyone acknowledges that the wedding is ultimately about the new partnership being formed, it becomes easier to appreciate the valuable input of parents without letting it derail the personal celebration the couple has always imagined. In this story, the MIL was clearly out of line, hence why the netizen even made the post.
Some folks needed more info
People saw the wisdom in the netizen’s advice
The post “Password Protect Everything”: Couple Learns A Lesson After MIL Tries To “Fix” A Wedding Menu first appeared on Bored Panda.
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