Most people probably imagine that having wealthy parents feels like winning a lottery. But while for some, money can make life more fun and easier in many ways, for others, growing up in a rich family poses unique challenges that don’t often come to others’ attention.
Case in point is this family that, despite being extremely wealthy, exhibits quite toxic behaviors when it comes to money. One daughter shared that all of her siblings, including herself, are struggling financially, and their parents, instead of helping out, are sabotaging what’s left of their modest funds. Just recently, they also demanded the kids pay for their own flight for a family vacation they were supposed to cover, manipulating and pitting siblings against each other along the way.
Having wealthy parents doesn’t mean that one’s life is without worries or challenges
Image credits: olganosova/Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s actually quite the opposite for these siblings, who just can’t catch a break from their wealthy parents’ nonsense
Image credits: EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: bearfotos/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Later, the original poster shared an update:
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Wealth can become an obstacle that makes parenting more difficult
Image credits: Vitalii Khodzinskyi/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, money can’t buy parenting skills. In fact, extra wealth can become an obstacle that makes parenting more difficult. In a household where money is plentiful, parents have to find ways to teach their kids to respect money, understand budgeting, and have empathy for the not-so-fortunate people. If they fail to do this, they risk raising children who are dependent on the family’s money without any motivation to do something for themselves.
“It’s up to parents to ensure that kids learn to take responsibility for work and not just have things done for them,” says Suniya Luthar, professor emerita of psychology and education at Teachers College at Columbia University, researching the behavior of wealthy children. “Children need to do age-appropriate chores at home and, as they grow toward adulthood, engage in productive work—and not expect handouts just because family money is readily available.”
If parents with extra wealth unconditionally support their children through financial means, they can cause lasting damage to their kids. “The delay of financial independence is associated with a lack of purpose, creativity, drive – it can be extremely crippling,” says Dr. Bradley Klontz, a psychologist and certified financial planner. “People then have a tendency to resent the source of their money, even while they rely on it.”
Studies have even found some evidence that children from affluent families are becoming increasingly troubled, reckless, and self-destructive because their parents don’t set boundaries when it comes to money, responsibility, etc. They’re also more prone to suffer from anxiety and depression compared to the national average, as the pressure to succeed in a competitive world can get overwhelming, especially when they haven’t developed a good work ethic in their younger years.
Keeping wealth from children won’t ensure they know how to handle money in the future
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So what can affluent parents do who want to raise their kids to be successful, motivated, and independent? Hide their wealth from them? Well, not exactly. Keeping the wealth from them or pretending it isn’t even there won’t ensure that kids grow up knowing how to handle money or make it on their own. It’s the responsibility of parents to instill these life lessons into their offspring, and on average, parents with wealth have more tools to do it, having experienced it all themselves.
“It is an important step to talk about what it is like to have money and the responsibility that comes with it,” agrees Dr. Meghaan Lurtz, president of the Financial Therapy Association.
The key here is to provide children with the tools so they can achieve everything on their own, even though the parents have the resources to give them the best they can. Unfortunately, not every parent knows how to translate this to their children.
“People don’t have the language to talk about this. It is easier to talk about sex than money. One way that wealthy parents raise their kids to be ‘normal’ [is by avoiding talking to] their kids about their wealth. [They] try to hide their wealth as they worry it is contaminating. But that’s in conflict. Part of being a good wealthy person is to recognise your privilege,” explains Rachel Sherman, associate professor of sociology.
Affluent parents should start the money talk with their children early to prepare and set them up for success in the future. The conversation can begin by talking about the family tree and how the money was made. “It can help prepare the kids by strengthening communication and financial education,” says Diane Doolin, co-founder of the Institute for Preparing Heirs.
She also shared more details on the situation in the comments
Overall, the readers were on the siblings’ side
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