Emotional intelligence is as important as academic intelligence because our mental health and quality of life depends on it. Children should be taught to analyze their emotions and be able to control them, knowing what is causing them, from a small age when they are easily influenced so that they will have less problems in their adulthood.
One emotion that is hard to control is anger and it is also difficult for parents to teach kids how to do it when they themselves are angry that their child is not listening. Single mom Destini Ann has advice for these kinds of situations and her approach is based on gentle parenting.
More info: TikTok
Mom who practices gentle parenting discovered a phrase that helps her calm down her angry daughter
Image credits: destini.ann
Bored Panda has already shared Destini’s advice before and you can find it following this link. In that article, the mom pointed out 3 things you shouldn’t say to your children, or at least she doesn’t and thinks it’s working.
This time another of her videos went viral in which she reveals the secret of what to do when your child gets mad and starts throwing things or slamming doors. 5.2 million people have seen it, 1.3 million of them liked it and a lot of them commented, promising to try out Destini’s advice.
Image credits: destini.ann
Destini starts with saying that being angry doesn’t automatically make you a bad person, as she was led to believe in her own childhood and teen years. But it is important to manage that emotion, so the mom tries to help her daughter “to acknowledge her anger in a bit more appropriate way.”
When she sees the anger escalating, Destini gets down to her daughter’s eye level and gently, but still with authority, asks her kid “What is your anger trying to tell you?”
She tries to help her daughter get to the bottom of why she feels anger and asks her, “What is your anger trying to tell you?”
Image credits: destini.ann
With that question, Destini tries to teach her daughter that “anger is a signal that something is off.” It could be that her boundaries are not being respected or some kind of need is not being met and it is important to articulate that because it is not obvious to the parent what is wrong.
Destini also acknowledges that it is actually impossible for a parent to meet their child’s every need, but it’s a lot easier to do if the child can translate those feelings into words instead of eye rolls.
With this phrase, Destini is teaching her child that anger is caused by something that she feels is wrong and to fix it, she needs to find out what that is
Image credits: destini.ann
AboutKidsHealth, a health education resource for children, agrees with Destini that feeling angry is normal, but it has to be controlled to not grow into aggression.
According to this research article, aggressive-disruptive behavior leads to under-achievement in school, need for special education and there is a higher risk for them to not finish school at all. Difficulties at school then mean they are more likely to be unemployed, experience financial stress and have problematic relationships with people.
The NHS points out the reasons why your child might be angry, such as being bullied, seeing others angry or feeling anxious about something. But they also acknowledge that it is not always obvious, so that’s where the parents should intervene and help them sort out their thoughts.
One of the ways to do that could be Destini’s method of asking questions that could direct your angry child to the cause of their irritation and try to solve that problem.
Image credits: destini.ann
Gentle parenting is not easy, even if it might seem like that looking from the outside. But for the parents to be able to remain collected and not burst into yelling takes a lot of patience and self-control.
In another video, Destini expresses how hard it is because you have to get your children to cooperate with you, learn your values and be kind to people without forcing it on them because it won’t benefit them that way.
However, it is worth it because you build a stronger relationship with your child, based on understanding and giving choices, which leads to raising a healthy human being.
Do you agree or disagree? Have you ever tried Destini’s method with your children? How do you feel about gentle parenting in general? Let us know in the comments!
People in the comments were delighted with this method and actually thought that it was great advice for adults as well
The post Mom Who Practices Gentle Parenting Discovered A Phrase That Works With Her Daughter When She Is Getting Angry first appeared on Bored Panda.
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