A stepparent usually comes into a child’s life intending to be a caring adult figure. However, bonding and earning trust can take some time, and it greatly depends on how the stepparent chooses to approach the relationship. Some try to do it in a more friendly and laid-back way, while others try to insert themselves into the family with authority, which doesn’t always work.
Like it happened with this stepfather who forcefully tried to replace his stepchildren’s biological dad and even erase his memory from the household. The children tried bringing up this issue with their mom, but she wanted to hear none of it, which pushed them to go no contact.
Some stepparents choose to insert themselves in the new family with force and authority
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This stepfather even forbade mentioning the biological father in the household, which pushed the kids to go no contact and leave their mom behind
Image credits: Julia M Cameron / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Embarrassed-Nerve987
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Stepparenting is tricky because the person is coming into an already-established family dynamic
Stepparenting is a different kind of tricky because the person is coming into an already-established family with a certain order, rules, and routines. The kids are used to them, and they don’t want someone to change them. However, these changes are unavoidable as they have to happen in order to fit the new person in, which can make the stepparent the least favored person for a while.
To find balance, compromise, and peace, the stepparent needs to find ways to develop a connection with children while taking slow steps. However, there are many issues they may face that can hinder children’s views of them and the overall integration in the family.
One of them is failing to observe and follow boundaries. This is definitely not an easy task, as everyone in the family might have different ones, and it’s difficult to know them until they are overstepped. They also can change in the blink of an eye, so trying to keep up is tough and requires good and thorough communication.
Another issue they might face is wanting to step in and be involved when big decisions are made. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to provide stepparenting help, but the biological parents (if they are present) are responsible for deciding what’s best for their children. Besides, adding a third person when trying to discipline kids is often far from helpful.
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Stepparents should avoid some things to keep their relationship with stepchildren as smooth as possible
To keep the relationship between stepchildren and stepparents as smooth as possible, there are some things that the parental figure in the new family should avoid doing. The first one is badmouthing the biological parent. The kids need to know that it’s okay for them to love both parents without fear of judgment or consequences. Therefore, stepparents having any feelings or opinions towards the biological parent should keep them to themselves.
This flows into another don’t, which is trying to fully replace the biological parent. Being a good stepparent means respecting the ex-spouse without acting as a substitute. The new family dynamic should be approached in a secure, non-threatening way. This usually can be done by being a mentor with a support system in place instead of trying to erase the biological parent’s existence from the family.
Next up, as touched on before, is stepparents disciplining the kids forcibly or without talking about it with the parent. Some rules might be needed in the household, but they should be approached positively while working together with a spouse to encourage a better relationship with children.
Lastly, a stepparent should avoid overstepping boundaries established by biological parents regarding parenting responsibilities and by children who are just trying to adapt to the new family dynamic. Boundaries should be respected no matter what, which helps to find a balance that works for everyone.
Many readers thought the kids were right to go no contact
While some believed everyone was at fault in this situation
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