Man Refuses To Forgive Ex-Friend Who Stole $40, Still Calls Him A Thief Years Later

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What is something you would never forgive a friend for? Cheating with your partner? Taking all the credit from you at work? Some people cross the line at stealing. It’s unclear how many individuals had friends lure money out of them, but 36% of Americans say they’ve lost friendships because of money issues.

This guy ruined a friendship for a mere $40. After he tried to swipe it from his coworker’s wallet at a bar right in front of him, he doubled down with the classic “It’s just a joke, bro.” Unfortunately, the bro wasn’t amused, and would talk about it to mutuals even years later. Was he being too petty and should’ve let it go by now?

A guy caught his coworker stealing $40 from his wallet

Man holding open brown wallet with a single dollar bill inside, symbolizing theft and refusal to forgive ex-friend.

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Although the colleague tried to turn it into a joke, the man has since refused to associate with him

Man refuses to forgive ex-friend who stole money and still calls him a thief years after betrayal.

Man refuses to forgive ex-friend who stole $40 from his wallet, still calls him a thief years later.

Text excerpt on a plain white background with black font discussing a man refusing to forgive an ex-friend who stole money.

Text excerpt showing a man explaining how $40 was missing from his wallet, calling his ex-friend a thief.

Man refuses to forgive ex-friend who stole $40, still calls him thief years later in awkward confrontation.

Man discussing trust issues in a business meeting, refusing to forgive ex-friend accused of theft years ago.

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“Drinking doesn’t turn good people into bad people,” he explained why the excuses didn’t convince him

Comments discussing a man refusing to forgive an ex-friend who stole money, still calling him a thief years later.

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Screenshot of an online discussion about a man refusing to forgive an ex-friend who stole $40, still calling him a thief.

Sometimes, people feel too embarrassed to ask for financial help

It’s hard to understand the behavior of friends or colleagues who steal. Especially in this situation; there is no way the thief thought the guy wouldn’t notice that the $40 was missing from his wallet. So, why do some people do it?

It’s hard to guess from the few facts we are presented with in this story, but such behavior does seem unusual. Both men were employed, and if the guy was in debt, the $40 would hardly help in a serious case. The truth is that we never know the financial situation of a person. Perhaps the ex-friend felt too embarrassed to ask the OP to lend him some money.

A 2017 survey by the U.S. Federal Reserve showed that borrowing money from friends is the second most popular option when faced with a hypothetical sudden expense. Yet many of us feel shame around even talking to friends about money, let alone asking to borrow some.

Many people feel averse to borrowing from friends or family members because of how loose the agreement is. The professor and director of the Center for Financial Security at the University of Wisconsin, U.S., J. Michael Collins, told the BBC that a “lack of follow-up ability or accountability [makes] people really nervous.”

There is also the power imbalance aspect: after the OP lent the money to the ex-friend, he would have all the power as the one who loaned the money. It’s possible that the ex-friend wanted to avoid the tenor of the relationship from changing. In the end, his actions caused even more problems and drama.

Other times, they may have an impulse control disorder – kleptomania

Some people just can’t help stealing. Although it’s relatively rare, kleptomania affects about 0.6% of the American population. Medical experts classify kleptomania as a mental health condition, not a lack of self-control.

Kleptomaniacs know that stealing is wrong and feel guilty about it. Some individuals may even try to offset what they steal by donating to charitable organizations or paying for items they stole after the fact. Kleptomaniacs steal not because they need the money or the items. They do it because it makes them feel excitement in anticipation, pleasure, and relief afterwards.

What even causes kleptomania? According to the Mayo Clinic, there are four main factors:

  • Low serotonin levels;
  • Dependence on dopamine;
  • Changes in brain chemistry caused by legal and illegal substances;
  • Responding to urges by stealing becomes a form of self-medication.

Experts at the Cleveland Clinic also point out that kleptomania can be genetic. If there is a family history, an individual is more likely to have it. What’s more, some experts classify kleptomania as a symptom of other mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, or issues with substances.

The bottom line is that you never know a person’s situation. Perhaps they are just a jerk who steals money from friends when they think no one is watching. But they might also be dealing with substance issues, serious money problems, or undisclosed mental health conditions.

To some commenters, it was pretty simple: “He is a thief”

Reddit comment showing a user refusing to forgive an ex-friend who stole $40, still calling him a thief years later.

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Screenshot of an online comment stating a user is not the antagonist, emphasizing facts over rumors in a theft dispute.

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But others thought he was being a jerk too for still holding a grudge years later

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man refusing to forgive his ex-friend who stole $40 years ago.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man refusing to forgive his ex-friend who stole $40 years ago.

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Comment discussing a man refusing to forgive an ex-friend who stole $40, still calling him a thief years later.

Comment discussing a man refusing to forgive ex-friend who stole $40, still calling him a thief years later.

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One commenter even called out the guy for his unprofessionalism and accused him of creating a hostile work environment

User comment discussing a man refusing to forgive an ex-friend who stole money, still calling him a thief years later.

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