Many parents consider flying with children to be an uphill battle. Their babysitting duties should be a team effort, especially if their kids get restless during those long hours.
This man, however, thought he would be absolved of those obligations because he paid for the entire trip. His actions left his wife struggling as her children caused a scene during the packed flight. What made it worse was that this wasn’t her husband’s first time to act selfishly during a family trip.
She now wonders whether her spouse’s actions were acceptable. You will find the entire story below.
It can be a struggle to travel with children, especially during long flights
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman had to take care of her chaotic children alone during a packed flight because her husband refused to help
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
She wonders if her husband’s actions were acceptable, while revealing it wasn’t his first time doing it
Image credits: Mumof22025
Entitlement based on reciprocity is common in relationships
Image credits: Evan Tang / unsplash (not the actual photo)
In an article for Psychology Today, clinical psychologist Dr. Russell Lemle listed 15 of the most common entitlements people claim during disagreements with people close to them. One of which is based on being owed.
As Dr. Lemle explained, it typically happens when one person keeps track of their accumulated sacrifice and selectively mentions it to “extract a specific repayment.” In this story, the husband played the “I paid for the trip” card to have his wife bear all obligations to care for their children.
Dr. Lemle points to the principle of reciprocity in evolutionary ties, noting that ancestral humans may have used it to regulate the sharing of food and labor. However, he also stated that reciprocity in contemporary relationships can typically cause a strain.
“Entitlement is a natural expression of fundamental drives. Whenever something physiological or emotional goes off kilter, we spring into action,” Dr. Lemle wrote.
Most experts would advise setting boundaries with an entitled person, including a spouse who refuses to fulfill their duties. Others may even recommend walking away from the relationship. However, author and psychotherapist Philippa Perry advises doing something in the middle.
In an article for The Guardian, Perry offered advice to a female reader in a similar situation. She reminded her of how messy and exhausting divorce is and its devastating effects on the children.
Instead, Perry advised the woman to have a “gentle long chat” with her husband, then leave for a week or two to stay with a friend.
“It may bring it home to him just how much there is to think about and do that should be shared,” she wrote.
Considering her husband’s repeat offenses, the author may do something similar to drive her point home. She could leave with her children and stay with family until her spouse realizes his mistakes. If he doesn’t, it may be time for her to rethink the marriage.
Most commenters sided with the author and didn’t hold back in their critiques of the husband
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