Some people have wildly different understandings of masculinity and what it means to be a “real” man. These attitudes can put a lot of pressure on folks to fit certain stereotypes out of fear that they’ll be left out. When, in reality, “real” men do whatever it is that men do, from growing flowers to crying.
After going on a slightly bizarre date, internet user u/Bikini_baby767 sparked a candid and important discussion on r/AskMen. The members of this popular online group opened up about the times that they’ve been called out for not being “real men” while doing completely ordinary things. Scroll down to see what they’ve experienced.
#1
Because I’m not into cars. I think some look nice and some look bad, but I don’t care what engine they have. I don’t care how fast they can get to 80mph (there’s no highway around that even let’s you go that fast). And I don’t care what rims or spoiler is on them. They’re just methods of transportation to me, but that apparently makes me an undesirable non man.
Image credits: TehPharaoh
#2
Ordering a hot cocoa instead of beer.
I love flowers.
And I love to cuddle.
Image credits: OldPyjama
#3
A woman came to my house and criticised how neat and clean it was. Apparently, men don't live like that. Turns out her house was an absolute pig sty.
Image credits: working_class_tired
#4
Girl in high school told me once if I didn’t drink or smoke I wasn’t a real man. A teacher she liked (they were both Vietnamese and he had been helping her with adjusting to Canada) intervened and said that taking care of your health is what a real man would do….
#5
Wearing pink. Imagine being so insecure about a colour.
Image credits: gin-o-cide
#6
If you don’t do what a woman wants you to, she will try to shame you into it by attacking your masculinity. It’s selfish, unkind and childishly, transparently manipulative. Stupid, selfish, childish women are not worth keeping in your life.
#7
Owning a cat.
Image credits: BourbonGuy09
#8
I wore an apron while cooking.
Image credits: Bikini_baby767
#9
I paid a moving company to move a bunch of furniture. She massively disrespected me in front of the movers, commenting about how they were “real men” (implying I wasn’t). We are no longer together.
Image credits: Lucr3tius
#10
I can think of two weird things: for wearing a seat belt while driving and for using an umbrella to stay dry. Not the same woman, and the examples happened years apart.
Image credits: addeegee
#11
I rejected her sexual advances. Made me “girly”
I asked another how she felt. That wasn’t very manly either, apparently.
Image credits: Emotional_Load9735
#12
Because I called an Uber instead of getting in the car with her when we were both heavily day drinking on a 3rd date. Red flags aplenty all day while bar hopping.
Image credits: Expensive-Fail7581
#13
Not exactly a “you’re not a real man” moment but close. I had a girl once explain that as a girl she gets to do whatever she wants and I need to make sure to hold down the bills and accept her decisions as the man. So I get the only restrictions in the relationship. We broke up, now I am married and welcoming my first child with a perfect woman.
#14
My ex-wife: A real man makes seven figures. If you can’t handle me physically hitting you, then you’re not a real man.
Image credits: Jiggly_Love
#15
I went on a first date and when we sit down the woman stares at me and gives me a look of utter disgust and asks in an equally contemptuous voice, “Um…. Do you normally wear glasses?”.
Image credits: Swimming_Bag7362
#16
I told a girl I wanted to stay at my 5’8 and 140lb lean build given I’m a competitive marathon runner. She said a real guy would be trying to bulk up and be as big as possible.
#17
Using coupons.
She fully believed that a man should not use coupons. She said it embarrassed her, and often made fun of me for it.
Image credits: SecuritySky
#18
Had someone tell me it’s cringe as a man to live with your parents as an adult, but it’s perfectly fine for women to live with their parents as an adult as long as they want.
Always been a weird one to me. Like, so I fall on hard times and my parents want to help, so I guess I’m no longer a man 🤷.
#19
Easy – I was engaged, she had a baby. We break up, turns out baby isn’t mine. Her sister ran into a friend of mine and claimed I was the father of said child. When my friend pointed out that the DNA conclusively determined that I was not the father, the ex’s sister loudly proclaimed, “A real man would have stepped up and taken care of the baby anyway!” Pure insanity.
#20
Every time I’d call out my ex for being rude to me, she’d say “be a man. A man would just take it. Instead of complaining over a little thing.” Every single day she would say the meanest things to me and she expected me to just take it cuz that’s being a man. I found it ironic cuz I thought a man WOULD defend himself against a mean person. That’s what a man would do.
#21
I didn’t simply give her money whenever she asked for it.
She deemed herself entitled to men’s money – even if she didn’t even know them.
#22
Using moisturizer in winter and sunscreen in the summer cuz it’s not manly. Heard this from an ex and my own mother.
Also, I use hand gestures to articulate my body language as I was taught in my pulbic speaking classes, but that’s gay and effeminate. Same culprits. One I was able to run away from, but the other one just makes me sad.
#23
Ex wife told me I wasn’t a man because I “curled up” when I bundle up with a blanket on the couch.
#24
First gf said I’m not a real man for using a shower loofah to wash myself. She would just put soap in her hands and spread it on herself.
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Image credits: teepring
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