Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. But what if your own in-laws are so entitled that they see you like a live-in servant, doing everything from chores to cooking, while they laze about?
That’s the situation that one internet user found herself in. She turned to the AITA community for help after realizing that her husband’s parents are treating her like a maid because they live together. Eventually, the tension boiled over, and she called everyone in the family out. Scroll down for the full story, including dramatic updates about how the woman tried to reclaim her life.
Nobody should be treated like they’re an unpaid servant at home
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A woman vented her frustrations with her in-laws and husband, asking netizens if she’s wrong to want to move out
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
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Soon after posting, the woman shared more context in her first update, explaining how she got there and what she has already tried to do
Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Soft_Career_8688
A second update came around some months later when the woman found out she was pregnant
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Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Soft_Career_8688
Because nothing really changed, the woman decided to distance herself permanently from the toxic family, hubby included
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This one’s a lengthy one, so brace yourself. In a nutshell: the woman and her hubby move in with her in-laws to help out as the dad had health issues. During the time that they’ve been living there, the author had taken on a number of chores because it was just easier for her.
Ultimately, the balance of things to do around the house among the various family members shifted in unhealthy ways that did not benefit OP at all. It has become such a big problem that even when she was sick, she was still expected to cook while everyone else sat on the couch watching television.
The author did try to talk to her hubby, but that didn’t work. She suggested moving out on several occasions, but everyone was against it. The meatloaf hit the fan when the mother-in-law asked if the woman could give everything an extra scrub so as to kill off her germs. While she was still sick. It was only natural that she snapped after all the exhaustion and disrespect.
It all went downhill from there. Not only was she treated like a live-in maid, she also became a mere ‘incubator’ once she found out she’s pregnant. Everyone immediately started making plans for her, deciding things for the baby—her voice didn’t matter.
So she packed her bags and left. And when nobody did anything about rectifying this schism in the relationship, the woman distanced herself from them for good, and started the divorce process.
She’s been doing great since then. Rents a spacious 3-bedroom house while she’s waiting for the knot to be untied. Once the daughter is born, the author’s side of the family will be there to help out and play with her. A sweet ending to an otherwise bitter story.
Even before the updates, netizens were quick to show support for the woman with affirmation and advice
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Folks online were all in favor of an NTA here. The story was still in progress, but folks were quick to suggest running away from that toxic environment as it would only get worse.
It was enough that the doormat husband was silent every time there was a clash, but the in-laws had to be flat out using the author in dehumanizing ways. There’s nothing good that can ever come out of such a dynamic.
Commenters further pointed out that this arrangement only ever benefited the in-laws and, to some extent, the hubby. The in-laws were getting the best deal as the young’uns were there to pay most of the bills and solve most of their problems, including caring for the dad. They didn’t even have to lift a finger. Neither did the hubby, minus him paying something.
The saddest part is that these are grown adults who were very self-sufficient before the woman came into the picture. Folks pointed that out as a peak form of entitlement, and that demands zero justification on the author’s part when it comes to making decisions that benefit her.
Sadly, a lack of marital commitment and conflict in the household are among the top reasons for divorce
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The issues seen in this story correspond to the overall, sad reality of marriages and relationships. Lack of commitment (75%) and conflict in the household (58%) are among the top 3 reasons for divorce. Infidelity is the other one (60%). You can also throw in lack of family support as a reason too (that’s #8 in the list with 18%).
“Final Straw” situations, however, are most often associated with reasons other than what OP went through. The phenomenon is reported among 69% of all divorced couples with infidelity (24%), domestic violence (21%) and substance abuse (12%) as the top reasons.
Though, it is important to note that divorce rates have dropped in the last 20 years. The CDC reports that the divorce rate per 1,000 population used to be a 4 back in 2000, but it decreased to 2.5 in 2021 with a slight dip to 2.3 in 2020. Then again, marriage rates decreased as well—from 8.2 to 6.0 respectively.
The decrease seems to be due to a shift in public attitude about marriage. An increasing amount of people are starting to think of marriage as unnecessary. So much so that back in 2010, 40% of Americans thought of it as obsolete. It boils down to the conviction that marriage doesn’t allow for as much freedom, which is a problem if a person has adult aspirations and desires for achieving something in life.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? How would you have approached OP’s predicament? Do you agree with the community’s verdict? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!
Folks online deemed the woman not a jerk for wanting a better life, suggesting she legs it as fast as she can
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