Infidelity ruins marriages and families solely because of the cheating aspect. But some cases become even worse when they result in an affair baby. According to some sources, only 2-3% of affairs result in children, yet these stories are the most likely to become heartbreaking and scandalous.
When this woman found out her husband cheated on her nine years ago and had a son with his colleague, she was beyond heartbroken. But when he asked her to raise the 9-year-old as her own, she lost it. Still, feeling guilty and pitying the boy, the woman asked netizens to weigh in on whether she was being too harsh.
A family’s idyllic life was ruined by news of a husband’s affair 9 years ago
Image credits: Glenn Guiao / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The affair with a colleague resulted in a baby boy, and the husband expected his wife to take care of him now like he was her own
Image credits: Anna Tarazevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Fa Barboza / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Embarrassed_Ask8092
Image credits: Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Very few couples are able to reconcile and raise an affair child together
Some spouses are capable of forgiving an affair. In fact, according to a 2019 survey, 30% of couples touched by infidelity say they tried to patch things up. However, only 15.6% actually survive infidelity.
But when you have to live with the physical proof of your spouse’s infidelity every day, reconciliation can become even harder. Some experts even call this a permanent reminder of betrayal of love and trust.
Whatever the wife chooses in this scenario, it’s very unlikely that there won’t be any pain, hurt, and setbacks. Relationship experts say that it’s possible for the couple to raise an affair child as their own, but that it will most likely be a hard and arduous process.
Clinical psychologist and the Director of Psychology at UCLA Medical Center Dr. Michael Wetter, PsyD, emphasizes communication as the most important element. A vital part of reconciliation is also the cheating party taking all responsibility for their actions and commit to build the relationship up from the ground again and stay in the relationship.
“The spouse who has been cheated on has the right to express how they feel [in] difficult moments,” Wetter explains. “They should be able to say that this is tough for me, and over time, those difficult moments fade.”
From experience, Wetter says that couples staying together in such a situation is not the norm, but rather the exception. A more common result he sees is the couple getting divorced, but still raising that affair child together as a blended family.
“It might be where couples divorce and figure out how to navigate coparenting but in a new light as opposed to trying to stay in marriage where [there] are a lot of hurt feelings,” he went on.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
There are three main reasons why individuals choose to cheat
Another dilemma that the woman in this story could not figure out was why the husband cheated. According to her, everything seemed so perfect, so what drove him to betray her and their family like that?
Kelly Armatage, Therapist & TEDx Speaker, previously explained to Bored Panda the reasons why some individuals cheat.
- They’ve been raised to believe that cheating is okay. Some children who grew up in families where there was infidelity might form the belief that being unfaithful is not a cardinal sin. According to Armatage, studies have shown that people who have at least one parents who cheated on the other are twice as likely to be cheaters themselves than individuals who grew up in families with faithful parents.
- It’s their way of dealing with low self-esteem. Feeling desired may give some people a sense of control. “Often for these people, cheating can be a coping mechanism and an attempted means to feel validated, desired and needed,” Armatage told Bored Panda back then.
- They lack intimacy in the marriage. After many years in a marriage, attraction and sexual desire can fade. Emotional connection lessens too, as routine and responsibilities kick in, forcing the couple to spend less and less time alone. “Unsurprisingly, dissatisfaction in the bedroom or a waning desire to be sexually intimate with your partner may be a risk factor for cheating,” Armatage notes.
The husband already took a DNA test and confirmed the child was definitely his
People sympathized with the woman, saying that this kind of betrayal is unforgivable
But one person thought she’s taking away his dream of having a biological child
from Bored Panda /woman-refuses-raising-husbands-affair-kid/
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