One of the saddest things that’s prevalent even today is racism. On the outside, you can’t really make them out, but these racist demons hide amongst us, and only show their true “colors” when something hits too close to home. Then, they don’t even spare their family.
Just look at the original poster’s (OP) husband, who suddenly turned on his racist switch when their daughter was born with dark skin. The man accused his wife of having an affair, and even his family lashed out against her. However, the truth had him begging her to take him back. Here’s what really happened…
More info: Reddit
Sadly, we still live in a world where there are racists who would even go against their family over it
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the poster gave birth to her daughter, she had dark skin, and her husband (Jim) immediately jumped to the conclusion that she had cheated
Image credits: SweetBabyZ2020
Image credits: Slavcho Malezan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He went berserk, telling his whole family about it and destroying the nursery, and they all also hurled racist comments at the distraught poster
Image credits: SweetBabyZ2020
Image credits: Fellipe Ditadi / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
However, they all went docile after the paternity test, which clearly proved that Jim was 100% the father, and he came begging for forgiveness
Image credits: SweetBabyZ2020
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster also clarified that Jim is white, while she is at least half white, but when her adopted parent did an ancestry test, it turned out she had African ancestry
Image credits: SweetBabyZ2020
Image credits: Max Kolganov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster got legally separated from her husband, and still meets him during counseling, but she just doesn’t trust him anymore
Image credits: SweetBabyZ2020
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She also found out that her husband had cheated on her with his ex, and he was not ready to be a father, which further devastated her
Image credits: SweetBabyZ2020
Despite her husband begging for forgiveness and being willing to do everything it takes, she planned to divorce him after their daughter’s first birthday
Today’s story is quite old, but very, very sad, as Reddit user SweetBabyZ2020 tells us how the birth of her daughter led to a lot of family drama. The thing is, her daughter came out dark skinned, and her husband (Jim) immediately jumped to the conclusion that she had cheated on him. In fact, he even refused to pick her up from the hospital and told his whole family about her “affair.”
In a fit of rage, Jim also destroyed the nursery and OP’s art studio, while the new mom kept fighting for her innocence. Soon, the racist comments also poured in, not just from her in-laws but from Jim himself, which shattered her. Whether it was the false accusations, the ostracizing by family, or the blatant racism, her pain just piled on.
“Being a new mom is already challenging, but facing these things immediately can strain anyone’s mental health,” explained counselor and psychology professor Eden Lobo, whom Bored Panda interviewed. “It’s a massive betrayal, especially coming from people you thought had your back. That kind of emotional gut-punch can lead to stuff like anxiety, depression, or even trauma.”
However, the tables turned completely when 2 paternity tests proved that Jim was 100% the father of the baby. Also, an ancestry test revealed that there was around 30% of African ancestry in Jim’s family. He came begging for forgiveness straight away, while OP also received apologies from his family. But don’t you think that the damage was already done?
Prof. Lobo explained that when a partner accuses their wife of cheating, especially without evidence, it breaks their trust at the core. However, she believes that when racism is thrown in, that hurt cuts even deeper. It’s not just about being wrongly blamed, it’s about being disrespected on a personal and cultural level, she added.
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“It sends the message that their love is conditional, and that your identity or your child’s identity is somehow a problem. Then, for that same person to suddenly flip and demand forgiveness without fully understanding or repairing the harm? It can feel manipulative and even gaslight-y. Forgiveness isn’t something owed, particularly when the damage involved racism and public humiliation,” she elaborated.
The poster also updated later that she’s just not able to trust Jim with their daughter after everything. She said she met him for counseling, but what she discovered in one of the sessions was beyond heartbreaking. Turns out, he had cheated on her with his ex, and he was also not ready to have a kid, so he grabbed on to any opportunity to get himself out!
Prof. Lobo explained that instead of facing his own fears or guilt, he projected everything onto OP and their child. She added that he made her the villain so he could walk away without owning up to his own mistakes. She clearly called Jim’s behavior not just selfish, but also emotionally cruel.
“Now that he wants forgiveness, she’s stuck trying to process his lies, his cowardice, and the fact that he saw his own daughter as a ‘problem’ he could walk away from. That kind of damage doesn’t disappear with an apology. It shakes your sense of reality, your ability to trust, and your belief in what love is supposed to look like,” Prof. Lobo summed up.
It’s no wonder that the poster finally decided to divorce her husband in the end. Folks also claimed that his actions were not at all forgivable and that nothing could make up for it. They also said that it was better for the daughter rather than having a racist father who could turn on her over something trivial. Do you agree with them? Let us know in the comments below!
Folks instantly sided with the poster, calling her husband a big-time jerk for putting her through so much hurt and pain
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