Going on vacation should be one of the highlights of your year. Finally, you get to take a break from work and explore a new place without any of the responsibilities that plague you at home. You can sleep in without worrying about getting to the office on time, and you’ll get to enjoy uninterrupted, quality time with your loved ones. That is, if they include you in their vacation plans…
One mother recently reached out to Mumsnet to find out if she had the right to be upset about the vacation that her in-laws started planning without her. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies that invested readers shared.
This mother has never spent more than a few hours away from her son
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
But now, her in-laws are planning to take him on a trip while she has to stay home and work
Image credits: PNW Production (not the actual photo)
Image source: Staywildandwander
Later, the mother responded to readers and provided more background information
Parents should prepare both kids and grandparents before they embark on a trip together
Image credits: Marcell Pálmai (not the actual photo)
Spending time away from your child for the first time is nerve-wracking for any parent. Whether you’re leaving them at daycare, with a babysitter or at Grandma and Grandpa’s, it can be difficult to relax. What if he starts crying because he misses his mommy? What if they feed him something that he’s allergic to? And how can I focus on anything else when I’m away from him?
When it comes to the “right age” to leave your child alone with their grandparents, Parents Plus Kids notes that it’s not a simple question to answer. It depends on several factors such as the parents’ relationship with the grandparents, the grandparents’ physical and mental health, whether or not the grandparents actually want to watch the child, how long they’ll be responsible for the child and how old the kid is.
It’s also important to make sure that the child feels safe and comfortable before they’re left alone with their grandparents. One or two nights might go well, but an entire week can be a long time for children to be away from their parents. So to help the trip go as smoothly as possible, HuffPost has provided some tips on preparing the kiddos for a vacation with their grandparents.
First, they recommend teaching your children their grandparents’ full names, as well as their contact information. If they get separated for any reason during their travels, it’s important that they know how to ask for help and communicate who their guardians are.
Parents should also have candid conversations with the grandparents about the itinerary of the trip and what activities the kids will be participating in. It’s possible that one child has a crippling fear of heights that their grandparents don’t know about, or they might despise Italian food and throw a tantrum if taken to an Italian restaurant. It’s important for the grandparents to have realistic expectations of what the kids will enjoy.
Setting boundaries with grandparents can be uncomfortable, but it’s sometimes necessary
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The children should also be reminded to be on their best behavior with Grandma and Grandpa. Traveling is exhausting, and the kids probably won’t be able to stick to their typical eating and sleeping routines. They will need to be flexible, and they should be prepared for situations where they won’t get their way.
Finally, the kids should know exactly what to do in the event that a stranger tries to get their attention or lure them away. They should be prepared to scream at the top of their lungs “stranger danger!” if anyone is bothering them, and their grandparents should be reminded to keep an extremely close eye on them. The world is a more dangerous place than it was when our parents were growing up, so they might need a friendly reminder that they can’t just allow the children to explore on their own.
At the end of the day, parents should be calling all of the shots with their children. But if grandparents are having a hard time respecting boundaries, More Than Grand has some advice that may help frustrated moms and dads.
They note that the best thing to do is have an honest conversation explaining where the boundaries are coming from. You have your children’s best interest at heart, it’s nothing personal. It can also be helpful to share resources like books, podcasts or blogs that may help the grandparents understand exactly where you’re coming from. Be respectful, and try to work together to find a solution that suits everyone. Your children’s safety and happiness should always come first.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother is being reasonable? Feel free to weigh in, and then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here!
Some readers supported the mom and assured her that her concerns were valid
However, some others thought that she was being unreasonable
And some understood where she was coming from, but noted that her husband is perfectly capable of watching their son
The post Grandparents Want To Take Baby On Vacation Only With Them And His Dad, Trigger DIL’s PTSD first appeared on Bored Panda.
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