Many scientists agree that our communication skills are largely learned, not innate. So when, for example, women and men can’t understand each other due to inefficient communication, it’s not because their brains function differently, but because they were raised to express themselves differently. Men, especially, are discouraged by society from being open and vulnerable with others, which can sometimes make them look mysterious and confusing to women. 

Someone probably heard the prayers of women, because the things they find most baffling about men were finally answered by the male population in the thread below. Scroll down to see it for yourself, and don’t forget to upvote the most unexpected responses!

#1

Why I don’t know what the f**k my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day.

Image credits: Apollo1255

#2

We can hangout with other guys all day and not talk about anything personal or of substance.

I think women tend to share more of this stuff with each other. What’s going on in their relationships, career, etc. While guys tend to not share this kind of stuff with each other so often. We will every now and then. But a lot of time we tend to kind of keep things on the surface.

I’ve just had so many of these kind of conversations.

“So how’s Jeff doing”

*He’s doing well*

“Is he still going out with Amanda?”

*I actually don’t know*

“Well didn’t you guys hangout all day?”

*Yea*

“What did you talk about?”

*Nothing really, just kind of whatever*

“Isn’t he your friend?”

*One of my best friends*.

Image credits: Slowjams

#3

I was at home, when my wife and her friends got home one day from the pub, they were all giving me funny looks and smirking, I asked what was going on, they at first, refused to tell me.

After a little while of prodding one of them goes, “I HEARD ALL ABOUT YOUR D**K!” and they all broke into laughter, I was a little taken by surprise but laughed and said something like, “Oh yea? Hopefully all good!” and they laughed, and that was the end of it.

After they left, I was like, “What the hell did you tell them?!” and my wife responded by saying how she told her friends about our vigorous romps on our Honeymoon in Mexico, apparently in great detail. (We were there for a week and probably had s*x about 3 times a day — we were both pretty sore when we got home). We had an all inclusive so we ended up getting day drunk and got pretty physical with each other as you do on a honeymoon.

She was like, “whatever, you probably tell your friends all about us when it’s just the boys”

I don’t know about you guys, but the EXTENT of what I ever say is usually a raised eyebrow and something like, “Aww yea booooi” I have never once described my wife’s body to a single one of my friends, nothing in detail about any of my sexual partners (from before my wife) and it blew her mind.

Apparently girls talk in great detail about it, guys usually don’t. And they assume we do, and we assume they don’t.

Image credits: sixesand7s

#4

The fact that we can ride in a car with another man for 5 hours and not say a word. Drives my wife crazy.

Image credits: JackandHanksdad

#5

I don’t always want to be the one that initiates s*x. It makes me feel like a creep.

Image credits: NKoreaisbestKorea

#6

When you say “does this outfit look OK?” and we say “yes, you look stunning” and you reply “well, you WOULD say that”, half my brain thinks “please believe me because you do look stunning” and the other half thinks “wtf did you ask me for if you aren’t going to believe me?”.

I should add that this was just a generic example, I do tell my wife she’s is beautiful, I do say things like “yes that colour really suites you” to try and help put her mind at ease. We’ve been together for 20+ years and are really strong together so she knows I think she’s amazing.

Image credits: Zenith2012

#7

That we don’t know every detail about everyone else in my life. When I mention I hung out with someone my mom will ask my what their wife does for a living and can’t understand That It didn’t come up in conversation.

Image credits: Freeiheit

#8

That just because I’m quiet in your presence doesnt mean I’m upset. Just means I’m either tired, dont have anything to say, or I’m thinking about something.

Image credits: Deepseadivin

#9

Sometimes an erection just happens. We don’t control the thing, it’s a physical response that could literally be from nothing.

Image credits: slantsalot

#10

A lot of us aren’t great at picking up hints.

Image credits: thekarensarecoming

#11

When we say we don’t care we really dont care. Yes we can have an opinion on something, but when we say we don’t care that means our opinion isn’t strong enough to sway us either way on something.

Image credits: Rollthembones1989

#12

That just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean I don’t care.

I’ve had women talk to me about guys losing their hair “ he’s a guy so he doesn’t care! “ I know a lot of guys who hate being bald or the fact that they are balding and their hair is thinning and hairline is receding! This idea that we don’t care or don’t care about our looks because we are a guy is ridiculous.

Image credits: Racing_in_the_street

#13

Most of us don’t get complimented so if you do give us one we’ll remember it forever.

Image credits: Soggy-Tampon

#14

Sometimes we could use a hug.

Image credits: XmossflowerX

#15

That sometimes we need personal space and it has nothing to do with our opinion of you.

Image credits: Litigious_Energy_

#16

Why we bottle our emotions up.

Image credits: biggiantporky

#17

We’re still a human so that’s mean We have feelings too

So please take care when choosing your words when you’re arguing with us.

Image credits: KingProMemo123

#18

From a gay dude’s perspective, probably explaining that my sexuality doesn’t mean i’m an expert on women’s beauty stuff.

I’ll go shopping with you and give you my opinion on outfits, but I’m not some Paris fashion wizard because I get naked with other men. Speaking of which, I can do drag makeup. No, Cindy. That does not mean I’ll do your makeup. Why? It’s *Drag* makeup, you will look like a clown f****d a real housewife. Is that what you want, Cindy?

Image credits: JordanStPatrick

#19

Why I have peed in my backyard a “surprisingly high” (her words) number of times.

Image credits: Apollo1255

#20

I have to constantly explain to my wife why my 2 year old son is obsessed with his p***s. I have to explain why he always wants to touch it and grab it when his diaper is off. She will never understand why our baby and his father share this habit.

Edit: it seems I should have worded this a little differently…..

Image credits: CN4President

#21

Pee at an angle.

Image credits: CnCorange

#22

How much compliments mean to us. It’s a different type of happy when a guy gets complimented.

Image credits: IceColdPhoenixX

#23

That men can sit for hours talking and talk about nothing.

Image credits: AfterAgent

#24

1) That I am simply not clairvoyant. You need to tell me what it is you really want.

2) If you’re disappointed in something, say so. I can take it – as long as it’s not #1.

Image credits: needtolearnaswell

#25

It’s not that we’re hiding things or we don’t want to talk to you, but we actually ARE just thinking of nothing in particular sometimes.

Edit: holy hell this is the longest conversation advocating for and against nothing I’ve ever read!

Image credits: anon

#26

When you ask us what we’re thinking about and we say nothing, it’s because we know you don’t want to hear about ninja space dinosaurs.

Image credits: not_secretly_a_robot

#27

*Too clean for the hamper, too dirty for the drawer, that’s why I put my cargo shorts on the floor*

Image credits: enbenlen

#28

If I don’t jerk off, I can’t think straight. I’ll end up doing something stupid like invade Poland, start a megachurch, or buy a timeshare.

Image credits: STK1369

#29

Bro culture. Women just have different relationships with their friends than men do, and it’s hard to describe in rational terms how men’s friendships work. We harass each other, and are usually obnoxious, but would also break our backs for our bros that we tease relentlessly.

Image credits: MyCatIsAnAsshole_

#30

I really want to see if we’ll get along well enough to date but I’m horrible at maintaining a conversation without being too “safe” or too “out there”.

Image credits: SpurnDonor

#31

An itch on my d**k is way way worse than an itch any where else.

#32

That the reason I shake the gas pump the amount of time I do after I finish pumping gas is the same reason i shake my d**k after I pee.

#33

Sometimes (this is me personally so I can’t say it’s common) the struggle not to share emotions isn’t as much the worry of backlash from society or friends, etc. It’s more just a conflict within ourselves to verbalize and come out with it. I trust my friends with respecting how I feel, I just can’t get it out because I’m fighting myself.

EDIT: I’m glad this has helped some people focus a general feeling into a somewhat coherent thought! I hope someday we all can climb out of this better people!

#34

As much as were seen as s*x crazed pigs we talk so little about women when we get together for drinks or soemthing like that…and when we do the topic doesent last long…litteraly cant even remember when was the last time me and my best bud talked about women, were both single too. Just usually talking about our old friends from school and what theyre doing, cars, our jobs, sport, or politics occasionally.

#35

I’m seriously not checking you out every time you walk by in the office.

I turn my head for d**n near everything that enters my periphery, you’re really not that special.

#36

When you ask me how my day was or what I did today, nothing in my day usually stands out as special, so I just dont remember. I usually dont remember what I do, I just live.

#37

Sometimes I’m just h***y, but (in a committed relationship) sometimes I look at you and I’m just so in love that I want to be as close and intimate with you as I can, which is s*x. My ex and I had different love languages, and she would worry that I don’t love her as much as she loves me which was just crazy because I was head over heels for her at all times. Trying to explain that that really close, lovey s*x was one of the ways I showed her exactly how deeply I was in love with her, but she didn’t get it.

#38

My legs aren’t spread to show dominance, they’re spread because my s*****m is sticking to my thigh and it’s super uncomfortable.

But less uncomfortable than explaining this in public.

#39

We’d love to be able to share what is really on our minds (sexual and non-sexual and every topic and viewpoint under the sun,) except we’re afraid of the relationship consequences.

#40

No, you do NOT have superpowers that give you the ability to read my mind! Hearing “You think….”, makes my skin crawl.

#41

Your hints are obvious to other women. Not men. If it *can* be rationalized, it will.

No, we’re not getting jealous when you’re dating someone to get our attention. We’re thinking ‘Good for her. I’m glad she found someone.’

We’re not thinking that you’re trying to get our attention by hanging out with us, even when you specifically ask to be alone with us. We’re thinking ‘Wow, I’m so glad to have a friend who wants to hang out with me.’

Words matter. They’re effective and leave no room for misinterpretation. Just say you want to date us. Us guys are trained not to assume a girl is into us. If we do and we’re wrong, we’re socially crucified. At worst, it could result in legal action, depending on the extent it went to. It’s too dangerous for us to assume, so please don’t make us.

#42

The specifics of nod code. It’s easy to say “up if you know them; down if you don’t” but the exact meaning of the downward nod is hard to translate. It’s seeing them, acknowledging them, and saying that neither of us have any issue with each other.

#43

That emotional state of “meh”. You’re not great, you’re not terrible, just meh. Nothing is really wrong, you’re just not really feeling it.

For some reason, some folks interpret this as “pissed off”. They then continue to ask “Why are you so mad?” despite you answering against this. They keep doing asking until you actually get annoyed and angry. -_-.

#44

Just because I’m attracted to you doesn’t mean I want to have s*x with you.

#45

Very often, we say something at its face value with no double meaning, or alternative meaning, behind it.

It’s women who ask me, “What did you *mean* when you asked/said that?”

I said/asked exactly what I meant. If wanted to state it differently, I would have done so.

#46

This will probably get lost amongst all the comments ..

I think it is hard to explain to my wife how much I love her and the kids. I feel like words are not enough and I work a lot but I wish my feelings could just be transferred so she understands…

#47

Its ok to just tell me where you want to eat.

#48

As a little boy it was instilled in me that emotions were road blocks to ultimate goals. Sad? Do something about it. Mad? Do something about it. Happy? Better keep doing that. Feelings are hurdles to jump over, and I can go a while before tripping.

When I do trip though? Oh boy does the memory of pain shoot through me like a bullet in the a*s. I cry like a b***h about every hurdle up to that point even though it was just one that made me fall. And because I don’t fall too often, I don’t really remember the procedure going about fixing the injury. You can load me on the stretcher and I might just roll out. You can give me a pain killer and I might just throw it up.
Hell, i might be so traumatized by it all I might just stop running all together for a while.

#49

Why our pride keeps us from doing certain things. Asking for directions or help are the common examples but also not coming off as high mantaince or cheap. Things like not sending food back, not using small coupons and being sheepish with large coupons.

We dont know why either but it tends to go away in our 30s and 40s.

Also health issue denial. I figured I had lung cancer for years before I found out what heartburn is. Never occurred to me to see a doctor or tell anyone.

We’re living an illusion and faking it until we make it I guess.

#50

That we really don’t care at all about what her friend Karen said behind her other friend Jessica’s back.

#51

Precisely how much a small tap to the nards hurts. Women have giving birth on the top of the pain threshold, and I’m not taking anything away from that, but too many women don’t seem to understand just how sensitive those bits are.

#52

Why the TV volume *must* be set on a multiple of 5.

#53

That we can in fact be thinking about literally nothing. Men are legitimately capable of breathing, while awake, and responding to a conversation and have our minds be blank and not thinking about anything.

#54

How simple we are.

Men in general are simple. We’d rather have things up front, no beating around the bush, get to the point and call it a day.

We don’t pick up on hints because we don’t assume you like us unless you tell us you have feelings for us.

Being difficult is annoying. If you gotta say something. Say it. Don’t waste 3 minutes being difficult over something that could’ve been said in 3 seconds.

We tend to be more honest, and more up front with our intentions (There are exceptions) if I say I feel a way about you. There’s no hidden agenda. I actually feel that way about you.

#55

Sometimes I just don’t feel like s*x. It doesn’t mean I don’t find you attractive or that I’m sleeping with someone on the side or that I’m secretly attracted to your best friend or that I’m gay. Sometimes I’m tired or stressed or just don’t feel like having s*x at the moment. There’s no need to sulk or pout or bring it up 2 months later when we’re having an argument. Remember those first two months we were dating and I was desperately trying to get in your pants and you turned me down? Did I sulk or pout or become passive aggressive? No, I realize that not everyone is ready for s*x all the time.

#56

Might not be the hardest, but explaining that men are generally fine helping with non-manly tasks.

There’s this stereotype that men who join a girl to do girly things (or even mundane things like grocery shopping) are bored and only doing it to appease the girl. That’s usually incorrect.

Ask me to go dress shopping with you? My sense of style might be barbaric, but we will make you look amazing.

Take a spa day? I’ve never felt so clean and high-quality in my life.

#57

My words don’t have some secret meaning behind it. If I say X, I mean X, not some random thing or insult you come up with.

#58

When we say we need time or space, that’s exactly what we need. It’s not code for “you need to try harder”.

#59

Don’t pee next to someone at the urinals. Always have a space between you and them.

#60

When asked “what are you thinking about?” and we respond with “nothing”, we are literally, LITERALLY thinking of nothing.

#61

You can be so hot we get erectile dysfunction temporarily. Usually performance anxiety but I’ve had it happen where a girl dropped her clothes and she was so hot I got nervous and couldn’t perform. It sounds like us making you feel better. It’s not.

#62

Just because I’m bisexual, that doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat on someone with a guy. For some reason, if you’re a Bi Guy, a lot of women think that you are more likely to cheat.

#63

When the question “What are you thinking about?” gets answered with nothing.

Like, I don’t really want to explain how I just imagined what it would be like if I was in a zombie apocalypse and what I would do and where I’d hide. All the places I’d have to go, to get food, weapons and s**t. How I just imagined if it was me in place of Will Smith in I am Legend and what I’d do in his place.
Stuff like that, it’s easier to answer “nothing” then having to explain all of that and then get told “you’re weird”, even tho it’s funny.

#64

Just because we seem emotionless, doesn’t mean we aren’t feeling emotional. Happiness and furious anger are the only emotions that are socially acceptable for a man to show, without being called weak, gay, or effeminate.

#65

We have feelings that are just as real as yours.

#66

My wife refuses to believe that my friends and I never discuss our s*x lives. It’s a common misconception/stereotype that guys talk about nothing but s*x. Not even remotely true. It’s quite the opposite, in fact – *women* are the pervs.

#67

There is a lot of s**t we, quite simply, do not give a flying f**k about. I do not care what color the flowers are, I don’t care what painting goes where, and I don’t care about Stacy getting a divorce.

#68

Testosterone is a very difficult hormone to live with. I don’t get it either.

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