Not many women want to be caught up in a love triangle, jostling with another adult for their partner’s love and attention. When the other adult is your boyfriend’s or husband’s mother, it adds a whole new dimension and level of frustration to the equation. Don’t get us wrong. It’s great for a guy to have a close relationship with his mommy. But when the mother becomes possessive or jealous of the time their son is spending with a significant other, “Houston, we have a problem!”
One woman has shared how her boyfriend’s mother quite literally tried to come between them. She stole her seat at the guy’s birthday dinner, claiming it was to see how well her son’s girlfriend would deal with “a little separation.” What she didn’t expect was a permanent separation. But that’s exactly what happened after the girlfriend stormed out. The woman is now wondering if she overreacted.
One woman has always felt her BF’s mom was a bit too “possessive”
Image credits: zinkevych (not the actual image)
But when the mother tried to separate them “as a joke,” it turned out to be no laughing matter
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: gpointstudio (not the actual image)
Image credits: WarningStunning7156
“Many mothers-in-law don’t understand that they’re being meddlesome and intrusive”: an expert’s opinion
Mothers-in-law often get a bad rep, with some people even going as far as calling them monsters-in-law. But contrary to popular belief, many women do get along with their partner’s mom.
When the authors of In-Law Relationships: Mothers, Daughters, Fathers and Sons conducted their research in 2020, they found that only about 15% of mothers- and daughters-in-law said they had a troubled relationship with one another. More than half of those polled expressed a positive view of their relationship. The rest remained neutral.
Interestingly, the survey found that the mothers-in-law were more likely to rate their relationships positively than the daughters-in-law. 33% of mothers-in-law “strongly agreed” that they had a close relationship with their daughter-in-law. A far cry from the 18% of daughters-in-law who said the same.
At least one expert believes this is because often, mothers-in-law don’t even realize their words or actions are affecting their child’s partner.
Clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg says it’s true that in many cases, mothers-in-law do have harmonious relationships with their children’s partners. “However, I’m more likely to hear about in-law relationships fraught with all sorts of tension,” Greenberg told Yahoo Life.
“Many of these mothers-in-law don’t understand that they’re being meddlesome and intrusive. They have the sense of a proprietary right to their child and believe their feedback is coming from a place of concern,” she added.
Another expert, Mieke Rivka Sidorsky, agrees. “In my experience as a therapist, strained relationships with a partner’s family members, especially the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, are quite common,” wrote Sidorsky on the GoodTherapy site.
The therapist says that when a mother-in-law comes across as possessive or jealous, they could be feeling neglected. “Parents who miss their child and want to have more of a relationship may seem pushy or over-involved,” she explained.
Greenberg suggests that if you’re struggling to get along with your mom-in-law, you should try to look at them “through a gentle lens.”
“She has a lot of wisdom to share and is only trying to be helpful. She still needs to feel relevant,” advised the expert.
“Never marry a mama’s boy”: Many netizens understood exactly why the woman was upset
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