Danny Veloz from Miami asked everyone on TikTok to share their unhinged corporate job hacks that allow them to endure the grind and has received more than 4,700 replies. Some of the tips addressed the importance of work/life balance, while others focused on things like networking and keeping appearances, using calendar blocks to sneak out for a midday workout, or dragging out bathroom breaks to scroll in peace. Clearly, the real skills are the ones you don’t put on your resume.

More info: TikTok

#1

Find a side hustle you can do WHILE AT WORK.

Image credits: lian.s.2804

#2

TRUST NOBODY. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

Image credits: little_miss_mmh

#3

Never, never, do your best.

Image credits: francescobianchi1291

#4

Climb back down the ladder and preserve ur sanity. In hindsight, I wish I had done it 10 years ago.

Image credits: wlofl1795

#5

Find your 3rd spot. As crazy as it sounds, you NEED a place to go that’s not at work and not at the house where you can relax, recharge, or socialize. Could be the gym, pickleball court, Starbucks, bar, or whatever works for you!

Image credits: timjac001

#6

Job hopping is the only way to get an adequate pay rise.

Image credits: andytranfilms

#7

A 10-minute bathroom break a day adds up to a week’s vacation in a year.

Image credits: quintenscott6

#8

Take care of all your personal business while on company time.

Image credits: vannasaulz

#9

Don’t put your laptop in a bag/rucksack. Just carry your laptop. That way, you can walk out naturally and it’ll look like you’re simply heading to a meeting.

Image credits: carls2275

#10

Literally don’t worry about anything, it’s not like we are saving lives

Image credits: joyfulliving

#11

Just look busy and have lots of papers on ur desk & look stressed at all times.

Image credits: kazimiaesthetics

#12

Pretend it’s a TV show. Notice the places that would funny if you were watching it on TV. Life-changing.

Image credits: zachdmellen

#13

Take advantage of anything worth value. 401k match, free legal counsel, tution reimbursement, turn business trips into vacations. Corporate jobs have a lot of perks, learn to use them to your advantage.

Image credits: charleswitlock1923

#14

Have things to do outside of work.. I go to concerts, happy hr, vacation so when I’m mad at work I’m like yeap concert tomorrow woohoo.

Image credits: chevanburen

#15

Learn how to detach your personal worth and self-esteem from your career. The moment you start internalizing professional feedback of any kind as some sort of a reflection for who you are outside of that job, you’re cooked. Detach and keep a very strict line between your personal and professional life.

Image credits: ebailssonotorious

#16

It’s about being seen not about how hard you work so make sure you’re friendly and helpful towards everyone

#17

Pomodoro method, that time be flyingggg.

Editor’s note: The Pomodoro method is a time-management system that breaks work into 25-minute intervals, called “pomodoros,” followed by short 5-minute break.

#18

Go on walks constantly, whether it’s at the office or if you work from home. I am notorious for not being found at my desk throughout the day 😂

#19

Take lunch from 1-2pm, most people take lunch from 12-1pm, by doing this, you will have 2 hours of unbothered time.

#20

Be nice to everyone but don’t trust anyone!

#21

Find a work crush.

#22

Coworkers aren’t friends. They are just daytime trauma buddies.

#23

If you work in a building with multiple floors, leave your coat and bag on a different floor so no one on your team clocks that you’re leaving.

#24

Work in an international group. My boss is not even in the same country.

#25

Act like you’re in “The Office” looking at a non existent camera and treat everything like a bit.

#26

Use the corporate jargon in your assessments and reports. You’ll seem “aligned’ with the upper leadership.

#27

Work with people that genuinely like you and you genuinely like. Makes the work so much lighter.

#28

Pull your current book up as a PDF and read and pretend you’re looking at important documents.

#29

Separate your identity as a person from what you do to earn money to live.

#30

Be likeable. That’s really it. It will get you further than anything else.

#31

Visible medium work > invisible hard work.

#32

“Networking” with management is more important than hard work when it comes to getting a promotion 😭 -with lots of love from a hard worker that hates networking.

#33

Do as little work as possible without getting fired. Work on making yourself more qualified to move to a better paying position somewhere else. Rinse and repeat.

#34

Rage room every Friday to empty out all the negative or journaling! But morning working out works too.

#35

Exercise before work and take the stairs after lunch; move the body, move the mind.

#36

It is crucial to be important enough to not get fired but not important enough to get held accountable for anything.

#37

Lexapro. I don’t even flinch when the customers get crazy anymore. It’s very nice and I am surviving.

#38

Be the personality hire 🤝

#39

Never let anyone know you don’t like them.

#40

Any job can be remote if you dissociate hard enough.

#41

Take your lunch as late in the day as possible. Trust.

#42

Don’t complain and always agree 😌 Be so nice that when you make mistake, people brush it off 😌 And when someone talk bad about you, no one else believe 😌

#43

Don’t trust anyone, don’t take things personal, never do more than necessary.

#44

Do not take the lunch break in front of the computer. Go to a park, take a break.

#45

I let my manager spill all the tea but I keep my business hush hush.

#46

I pretend I’m Mike Ross from suits just cosplay as other corporate baddies.

#47

Avoid talking to people😅only speak when spoken to.

#48

Don’t trust anyone you work with, and create a personal tracker of all your work and projects, with a timeline. Document everything and use email. Will be hard to sabotage you if you cover all your bases, speaking for those toxic workplaces where performance is measured.

#49

Do not tell ANYONE ANYTHING about your life out of the office, just the best minimum to make a conversation. 2.Be nice with everyone, because the person who you hate at the moment, one day in the future could be your future boss.

#50

*HR is NOT your friend. *get EVERYTHING in writing. Be that person that sends an email 5 min after a meeting. “I just wanted to recap our meeting…” *don’t over share personal information. Create boundaries and stick to them.

#51

Escape corporate. That’s what I did.

#52

I pretend I’m not a permanent member of staff. I’m just here as an intern to help out temporarily. Makes me feel so much better – I don’t know why.

#53

ALWAYS start your corporate job with 4 living grandparents. take all your PTO. your coworkers are not as cool as you think they are, they don’t need to know anything that may compromise you or your position. if it’s not in procedure, you’re not mandated to do it. If you’re supposed to log in at 8 and it takes you 10 to start your computer, that still counts, even if you’re not available till 8:10, don’t work a minute you’re not paid for.

#54

Trust nobody. You’re there to make money, not friends. Use free time for courses on professional development and certifications- use that to negotiate for higher pay.

#55

Less is more when explaining. Just say “yes” “sounds good” to 💩 that probably deserves more words. Don’t explain why you made a mistake just what you’re going to do to fix it. LESS WORDS

#56

Document everything. And I promise the money isn’t worth your mental health and/or personal wellbeing for a toxic corporate job. Been there, done that!

#57

Lexapro and scary podcasts while I work 😅 only way I survive the monotony.

#58

Realising its just a job and there are more important things in life like health, happiness and loved ones. they’ll replace you, so don’t stress yourself out.

#59

Drink a lot of water so you get to go on side quests like refilling your water or going to the bathroom.

#60

Paraphrase everything that the person in charge just said in a meeting when it’s your time to speak…. also lots of nodding.

#61

Don’t respond to Gossip in teams chats.

#62

Don’t eat lunch on your break. Do something for yourself. Eat lunch when you back to your desk.

#63

Make colleagues laugh but never overshare.

#64

Take a lot of vacation and sick days. I hope that helps.

#65

What people say about you is more important than what you actually do. Be strategic with your time and people.

#66

Never get your ego involved. It’s THEIR ego you focus on.

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