Bride Is Called Selfish For Requesting That Her Grandmother Doesn’t Wear White To The Wedding

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As the song goes, “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.” And if it’s your wedding day, you reserve the right to cry, have an extra slice of cake or uninvite your grandmother from the whole event.

One bride recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her fears about her grandma wearing white to her wedding seemed like they might actually come true. Below, you’ll find the full story of how Grandma nearly managed to get herself taken off the guest list, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.

Most couples want their closest relatives present at their wedding

Grandmother in a white sweater gesturing emotionally while seated in a living room setting.

Image credits: ckstockphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)

But when this bride realized her grandmother might be planning on wearing white, she decided that it’s not necessary for her to attend

Bride's request for grandmother not to wear white at the wedding sparks debate.

Text describing a sentimental moment with the bride's grandmother at her uncle's wedding.

Text explains a bride's discomfort with her grandmother wearing a white dress to the wedding.

Text on wedding discussion, bride talks to fiancé about concern regarding grandmother wearing white.

Text discussing a bride called selfish for asking her grandmother not to wear white to her wedding.

Text of a bride explaining why she wants to be the only one in white at her wedding.

Young woman in a brown shirt sits thoughtfully in a modern kitchen, pondering wedding attire etiquette.

Image credits: jm_video / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text discussing a bride's request to her grandmother not to wear white to the wedding, mentioning the word "selfish.

Text screenshot about a bride's disagreement with her grandmother over wearing white to a wedding.

Later, the bride clarified some details about her situation and provided a brief update

Bride explains why grandmother wearing white affects her special day.

Text expressing a bride's concern about guests wearing white to her wedding.

Elderly woman in a white dress with pearls at a wedding, emphasizing her attire choice.

Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text update from bride clarifying her wedding request about wearing white, addressing comments and concerns.

Text screenshot discussing a bride's concern over grandmother wearing white to the wedding.

Text discussing a bride's concerns about her grandmother choosing a white dress for the wedding.

Bride insists no white outfits at wedding, plans to inform security to enforce dress code, prioritizing her special day.

Image credits: Puzzled_Dress9590

Wedding guests should avoid wearing white, unless the bride and groom specifically request it

In the West, it’s the norm for brides to wear white dresses on their wedding day. Of course, this isn’t a requirement by any means, and plenty of women have subverted the norm by wearing stunning dresses in every color of the rainbow. But the majority, about 83% of brides, still go for a classic white gown.  

Brittanica notes that the white dress craze was largely inspired by Queen Victoria’s wedding dress in 1840. And by the time this trend trickled down to regular people, it cemented its way into the wedding world.

Today, some brides choose to wear white because they associate it with purity and virtue, while others are simply participating in the same tradition they’ve seen their entire lives. But regardless of how they come to the decision to wear white when tying the knot, many brides agree that they should be the only one at the entire event sporting that color.

The Knot explains that, as a general rule, it’s not appropriate for any guests to show up at a loved one’s wedding wearing white. This color is reserved for the bride, and it’s considered rude for anyone else to try to steal attention from her by wearing it.

In fact, wedding dress designer Madeline Gardner told The Knot that guests should steer clear of any similar colors, including cream or ivory. Even pale pastels can read as white in photos, so it’s probably best to save dresses in those colors for a different event.

And if men are interested in wearing a lighter color, tan, khaki or light grey should be appropriate. It’s also fine for men to wear a white button-down shirt underneath their suit jacket.

It’s important for those in attendance to respect the wishes of the happy couple

Avoiding white isn’t the only rule guests should keep in mind when getting dressed up for a wedding, though. Women should also keep in mind what cut and style of dress is appropriate for attending a wedding. 

“If you’re smitten with a long, printed white dress, steer clear,” fashion stylist Cindy Conroy told Brides.com. “Someway, somehow, a floor-grazing hemline always reads bridal. No matter how much print is dotted throughout. You might think it’s fine, but you don’t want to find out that you’re wrong as you wait for the nuptials and an avalanche of side-eye begins.”

However, there are exceptions to every rule. If the couple specifically requests a certain dress code, such as all guests wearing white, then they should certainly follow the happy couple’s wishes. Or if you have an outfit that you get approved by the bride and groom prior to the big day, then you can feel free to wear it, regardless of its color scheme.

The most important thing is that all friends and family members respect the happy couple’s wishes. And if they refuse to dress appropriately or abide by the rules that have been set for the day, the bride and groom reserve the right to rescind their invitation.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride made the right choice by putting her foot down, or should she simply let her grandmother wear whatever she wants? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing wedding outfit drama right here

The bride also responded to a few readers and provided more background information

Reddit comments discussing a bride's request for her grandmother not to wear white to the wedding.

Discussion on Reddit about a bride's request for her grandmother not to wear white at the wedding.

Discussion about bride's request for grandmother not to wear white at wedding, citing discomfort with color matching.

Many readers agreed that the bride had every right to put her foot down

Text conversation discussing a bride's request for her grandmother not to wear white to the wedding.

Reddit discussion about a bride requesting her grandmother avoid wearing white to her wedding.

Reddit comment discussing a bride's concern over her grandmother wearing white to the wedding.

Reddit comments discussing bride's request to grandmother about not wearing white at wedding.

Online comment discusses a bride deemed selfish for asking her grandma not to wear white to the wedding.

Comment on grandmother wearing white to wedding, focus should be on couple.

Comment discussing wedding etiquette about wearing white, mentioning a grandmother in context.

Comment on bride's request about grandmother not wearing white to wedding.

Screenshot of a comment discussing a bride's request to her grandmother not to wear white at the wedding.

However, some thought she was blowing things out of proportion

Reddit comment thread discussing a bride's request about her grandmother not wearing white to the wedding.

Text exchange discussing a bride's concern over her grandmother wearing white at her wedding.

Reddit comment discussing wedding dress concerns about grandma wearing white, shared by user on relationship issues.

Comment criticizes a bride for asking her grandmother not to wear white to the wedding, calling it a trivial issue.

Reddit comment expressing disdain for wedding drama over a grandmother’s attire.

Comment on bridal request drama, expressing it as unnecessary.

Comment on marriage age in discussion about wedding attire request.

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