When family members are going through a rough life patch, you feel bad for them, and it’s not always your responsibility to help them, but as we are kind-hearted people, we do. The sad part is that people you are helping might take this help for granted or even expect it as your duty.
A man online shared that he too wanted to help his brother’s family to get back on their feet and let them into his home, but had to kick them out. Not necessarily because they were ungrateful, but because the man caught his nephew stealing his engagement ring he had been saving up for a long time and knowing about his kleptomaniac tendencies, didn’t want to deal with similar issues in the future as the parents didn’t seem to be keen on fixing the issue.
More info: Reddit Part 1 | Reddit Update
Man got in a fight with his brother and his family after his nephew stole a $4k ring from him and didn’t tell him where it was
Image credits: Alexa . (Not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) going by missingring_ on Reddit is a 26-year-old guy living on his own, but for a while he let his brother’s family stay in his home as they were struggling financially. The brother lost his job and the family couldn’t afford rent or to pay for their bills.
But the OP wasn’t all that excited about it, mainly because of his nephew. He is 9 years old and is known for stealing things. The family even got in trouble a few times because the boy would put things in his pockets in stores and he was noticed doing the same at school as well. However, the parents weren’t too concerned about it and weren’t trying to find any solutions to it.
Image credits: u/missingring_
The OP knew that the nephew had problems with stealing things at stores and that he got in trouble for it at school
Image credits: u/missingring_
Young children stealing is not that serious, according to the American Academy of Adolescent Psychiatry. They say that children sometimes get too excited about things and take them without thinking. When children do such things at ages from 3 to 5 years old, parents should actively explain that what they are doing is wrong as they don’t really know the difference yet, which usually helps.
If it continues, the reasons behind why older children might steal could be “to make things equal if a brother or sister seems to be favored with affection or gifts. Sometimes, a child may steal as a show of bravery to friends, or to give presents to family or friends or to be more accepted by peers. Children may also steal out of a fear of dependency; they don’t want to depend on anyone, so they take what they need,” but most probably they don’t do it because of need.
Image credits: u/missingring_
But the OP isn’t aware of the parents trying to get to the bottom of this
Image credits: u/missingring_
While the things that the boy had stolen before weren’t of big value, this time he managed to get his hands on a quite expensive engagement ring. It might be that he didn’t realize that the ring was worth a lot of money.
The OP says that he had been saving money for over a year and finally, recently, he bought a $4k ring. He was planning on proposing soon and had hidden the ring in his room under one of his drawers. That is why he got quite upset when he caught his nephew sticking his nose into the room.
Image credits: u/missingring_
Image credits: ljv (not the actual photo)
Knowing the boy’s stealing history, and also because he suspected his nephew of previously taking his watch, which later miraculously reappeared again, missingring_ set up a spy camera and it proved itself to be useful. One day when the OP couldn’t find the ring in its box, he checked the camera and clearly saw his nephew taking the ring.
The OP said that the boy’s parents yelled at him and that they all were searching for the ring in every place they could think of, but couldn’t find it. So the man gave his brother an ultimatum: either he found the ring in a week or paid $4k for it, or the family had to move.
That is why when his brother lost his job and was struggling financially, he wasn’t too excited about the family moving in with him
Image credits: u/missingring_
The OP had to set up a spy camera because he was worried after seeing his nephew snooping in his room
Image credits: u/missingring_
Unfortunately, the parents couldn’t convince their son to reveal to them where he had hidden the ring and they had to move. The brother called the OP heartless for doing such a thing to his family when he knows what a difficult time they are having.
However, the OP is too mad at them to be able to live with them because the ring was a big deal to him and a representation of his love and a promise of a new chapter in his life. Even though he was mad, there was a part of him that thought maybe he was being inconsiderate.
Image credits: u/missingring_
Turns out, he had a reason to worry and the camera showed the boy took his $4k engagement ring he had been saving up for for over a year
Image credits: u/missingring_
There is no way for sure to say that the nephew has developed kleptomania, as it requires an assessment done by a professional, but you can see the tendency.
Mayo Clinic explains that kleptomania is a mental health disorder that gives people an impulse to steal items that they don’t need and they feel remorseful for giving into the urge. They say that “Often, the stolen items have no value to the person with kleptomania, and the person can afford to buy them. The stolen items are usually stashed away, never to be used. Items may also be donated, given away to family or friends, or even secretly returned to the place from which they were stolen.”
Image credits: u/missingring_
The OP kicked out the family because he was mad, but at the same time, after being called heartless, he felt guilty for doing it
Image credits: u/missingring_
Image credits: Gerwin Sturm (not the actual photo)
Later the man posted an update saying he’d found the ring after following some advice left in the comments under the original post
Image credits: u/missingring_
However, a lot of people thought that the family had probably already sold the ring as it would be easy money for them and the nephew wouldn’t get punished as he’s just a kid. A lot of them were suggesting to call the police, but there were people who also suspected a case of kleptomania and suggested places where the boy could have put the ring.
The man posted an update and it turns out, the ring was not stolen and his nephew had thrown it in the sink, where it it fell into the pipe. The OP was very relieved and shared that he immediately went to propose to his girlfriend and found out she was pregnant. He is excited about creating his own family, but the relationship with his current one didn’t get better after finding the ring.
Image credits: u/missingring_
The ring was in the pipe under the sink in the guest room
Image credits: u/missingring_
The OP was not willing to let the family into his house again and told his brother he was lucky he didn’t involve the police because video evidence is hard to deny. The uncle also talked to his nephew and as he already knew, the boy remembered where he had put the ring but didn’t want to tell anyone as he was scared of getting in trouble for it.
Whether it is kleptomania or something else, the boy is troubled and the issue needs attention, but the OP doesn’t think it is his place to deal with it. For now he is just happy this situation turned out fine for him.
The OP was relieved the boy didn’t throw away the ring, but didn’t want his brother coming back
Image credits: u/missingring_
But the story has a happier side as the man proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes, later revealing she was pregnant as well
Image credits: u/missingring_
While reading the story, what theories did you come up with before finding out the real ending? Do you think the boy is just acting out or could there be more reasons behind his behavior? Let us know your reactions in the comments.
The post “AITA For Kicking My Brother And His Family Out After His Son Stole My Engagement Ring?” first appeared on Bored Panda.
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