It’s impossible to be in a great mood 100% of the time. If you’re hungry, exhausted or had a stressful day at work, it might be a bit more challenging to put on a happy face and be patient with your loved ones. But these bad days should be rare occurrences, not the norm.
To try to minimize the damage that occurs during his wife’s bad days, one dad decided to start sending out warnings to his kids when their mom wasn’t feeling her best. But she was not impressed when she found out what was going on behind her back. Below, you’ll find the full story that this dad recently posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
This father decided that it would be wise to start warning his kids when their mother was in a bad mood
Image credits: Jack Sparrow (not the actual photo)
But she was not amused when she found out what was going on behind her back
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image source: Glassholering
Later, the dad clarified how often his wife has bad days
It is not normal to regularly lash out at loved ones
I grew up in a household where I often had to walk on eggshells around my mother. The smallest things could set her off, and it was an unspoken rule between my brothers, my father and I that it was best to just stay out of her path when tornado Mom started rolling through. I knew that this probably wasn’t healthy, but this anger can quickly become normalized when you grow up around it and are expected to adapt to it.
But as many of the commenters on this post have pointed out, having a spouse or parent who often lashes out at their loved ones should not be normal. Sometimes, this might mean that a person has anger issues. According to Healthline, some of the signs that someone has a hard time controlling their anger are if they experience increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, a tingling sensation and muscle tension, or if they easily become irritable, frustrated, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed or full of rage.
Anger issues can stem from a variety of problems, including depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse or alcoholism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder, intermittent explosive disorder or even grief. Anger issues can also manifest inwardly, outwardly or passively, depending on how people choose to express their frustration.
Having a spouse or parent with anger issues can take a huge toll on a family
It’s no secret that struggling with controlling your anger can take a significant toll on loved ones. BetterHelp notes on their site that being with a perpetually angry spouse can create distance between partners, damage self-esteem, create a fear of being hurt, cause feelings of sadness or anxiety, increase sexual temptations or temptations to drink and gamble and cause frequent or recurring arguments.
Marriage.com also explains that this constant anger might stem from issues in the relationship, such as unmet needs or expectations, poor communication, a lack of trust, unresolved conflict, a power imbalance, stress or unmet emotional needs. But regardless of where it’s coming from, it’s important for partners to work together on resolving the issue before it causes irreversible damage to the relationship.
When it comes to dealing with a partner who struggles to control their anger, BetterHelp recommends starting an honest conversation and being compassionate. Try not to judge them, and work with them to try to get to the root of their anger. But remember to prioritize your own mental health as well. If their negativity is impacting your mental health, be sure that you have friends or family you can lean on for support. The two of you might need to seek professional help as well, such as starting couples therapy.
It’s important for individuals to work on managing their anger for the sake of everyone around them
When it comes to the spouse who’s full of rage, it’s important for them to acknowledge the part that they play in making their household feel uncomfortable or even unsafe. It’s probably not a great sign if your kids or partner have to tiptoe around you and watch what they say for fear that you’ll lash out or criticize them for insignificant things.
The Mayo Clinic recommends that those who struggle with keeping anger at bay try to remember to think before they speak. As simple as this sounds, taking a moment to take a deep breath or really consider the impact of your words before saying them out loud can save yourself from arguments and the guilt that inevitably ensues after saying something hurtful. Experts also suggest explaining what made you upset once you’ve had time to cool off and calm down. This way, you can explain what’s wrong without your emotions taking over.
It’s also wise to take a timeout and get some exercise or practice relaxation skills before letting your anger make decisions for you. Going for a walk and getting some fresh air might help you calm down. Or simply taking a few minutes to sit in silence by yourself can allow you to become grounded. And remember not to hold a grudge. Your children and your partner love you, and no matter how annoying it may be that they’ve left dirty dishes in the sink yet again, they did not do it to intentionally cause you harm.
Most readers agreed that both spouses should be acting more maturely, with some suggesting they seek professional help
However, some readers sympathized with the dad and shared advice for him
And others thought that the father was definitely in the wrong
The post “A Good Thing For All”: Man Can’t Understand Why Wife Is Mad About His ‘Bad Day Alerts’ To Sons first appeared on Bored Panda.
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