He married his ‘first everything.’ But he wasn’t really her first anything. While his wife got all the wild encounters out of her system before settling down, he was reserved, shy and lacked confidence in his youth. Now that he’s undergone a massive glow-up, he’s regretting all that he didn’t do when he was single.
A man has turned to the internet for advice about how to spice up his life without hurting his wife. He says he’s getting more attention from other women than ever before. He’s bored in the bedroom and frustrated that his partner of eight years wants to build intimacy on love, not “wild lust.”
His wife says her wild days are behind her and she prefers a more vanilla approach to intimacy
Image credits: drobotdean / freepik (not the actual photo)
But he feels it’s unfair that she got to experience what he never will
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Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jet-po / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anonymous
People warned the guy that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)
The man revealed that he’d taken some of the advice and had a talk with his wife
Image credits: drobotdean / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lifestock / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anonymous
Why living with regret can be seriously bad for your mental health
Could Have, Would Have, Should Have. Many of us have at least one “if only” in life. While others have loads.
Whether it’s something silly we said, a job we didn’t take, the love that we lost or a terrible decision that changed our course forever, it’s not uncommon for people to wish they could turn back the hands of time.
One study found that most people regret nearly one-third of their weekly decisions. And anticipate that they’ll regret 70% of their future decisions.
But experts warn that living with regrets can seriously damage your mental health. Not only can it lead to depression and overall lower life satisfaction, but you can also find yourself grappling with increased anxiety and feelings of being stuck.
“Not knowing what life could have been like can lead to fixating and overthinking,” notes the PsychCentral site.
Physician and board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Joann Mundin says that living with regret can lead to a lack of motivation and a sense of hopelessness about the future. And this, in turn, can prevent you from working toward your goals.
“Regret can also affect an individual’s self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult to move on from the past and engage in new experiences,” warns Mundin.
Experts say one way to deal with regret is by doing something known as mental contrasting. “Mental contrasting involves vividly imagining how things could have been if you made a different choice,” explains the PsychCentral site.
Basically, you envision what your life would look like now, and experience it mentally. “Then, you can consider what it would take to carry out that scenario now and determine if you can overcome the obstacles,” the site adds. “If you think you can’t make it happen now, try to focus on acceptance and releasing thoughts of what could have been.”
It helps not to idealize the paths you didn’t take. Avoid telling yourself that things would be better had you made a different decision.
“It’s not possible to know how life would have gone if you took a different path, but your journey isn’t over,” says the PsychCentral team. “Try to focus on the paths ahead of you that positively impact your well-being.”
Many people voiced their concerns about where the man’s marriage is heading
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