Nobody’s ‘perfect’ and everyone makes mistakes from time to time—especially when it comes to something as sensitive as dating. But some behaviors are so bad that they destroy any chance at romance. While some things sound like common-sense stuff to avoid doing, unfortunately, common sense is in fairly short supply these days.
In a brutally honest and insightful AskReddit thread, the women of the internet shared the things that—in their opinion—are the biggest mistakes that single men make when they’re trying to show they’re romantically interested in you. Clinginess, negging, jealousy, lying, and thinking that being nice is a personality trait are just the tip of the iceberg. Keep scrolling to find out what to focus your personal growth on and what to avoid doing if you want to leave a decent impression.
#1
Acting like being nice is a personality, then getting mad when you don’t fall for them immediately.
Image credits: That_Purple288
#2
Making sexual innuendos to test boundaries when I don’t know you.
Image credits: Medusa17251
#3
I think a lot of men would do well to remember that they can easily overpower us, and we are always aware of that. So, fear is often present, and for good reason. Giving a woman some time to get to know you, and to see that you will be safe for her, is crucial for many women.
Image credits: Mountain_Jury_8335
#4
Making sexist comments.
A lot of guys think variations of the comment ‘Most women are so dumb but you’re so smart!’ is a compliment. It’s not. Especially if you’re complimenting me for knowing something basic. It suggests you don’t engage many women in conversation.
Image credits: mauvebirdie
#5
Trying to impress with a monologue of achievements instead of asking real questions. Listening beats bragging every time.
Image credits: Live-Scratch-2939
#6
I remember when I first met my wife we had an amazing date that lasted way longer than expected. A couple hours later she texted me asking if she’d scared me off. I was super interested but didn’t want to seem too interested and she straightened me up real quick! Don’t try to play it cool by not communicating.
Image credits: SgtGo
#7
Talking constant smack about their ex. Comparing us to their ex.
Like if it comes up in conversation, say what you need to say and move on. Don’t punish us for what your ex did, bro. Heal up.
Bragging about how many other women are interested in you how ✨lucky ✨I am to have been at the top of the list.
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#8
Failing to show basic politeness/respect during the interaction. For some reason so many don’t even do *that,* which is sad because it’s already the bare minimum…
Image credits: BatScribeofDoom
#9
Getting too close to you and keep touching you on the first date. And cannot sense you are feeling uncomfortable, even though you keep moving further away….
Image credits: Sleepybunny08
#10
Making it about looks, in a way that makes it obvious they’re not really looking past that. you can usually tell because they’re not complimenting your personality, taking interest in your hobbies, etc. it’s just “you’re so pretty” “your body is so hot” it can actually feel quite sad.
Image credits: highuptop
#11
I’ve noticed a lot of men try to “sell” themselves– make a big deal about their accomplishments, basically finding any reason to brag or bring up nice or helpful things they’ve done for others, etc. Trying to impress their date.
But in reality, it just makes you look a bit narcissistic. Its off-putting. Let your personality show for itself! If a woman is on a date with you (especially if it’s your second+ date), she has some interest in you already, you don’t have to force it.
Image credits: bingocatswithhats
#12
I’ve had several men ask me when I am going to get a “real job” (I am a musician, and a pretty successful one at that) and then go on to tell me everything about their wonderful and important banking/computer jobs.
As an artist I am used to the general society thinking I am leeching off of honest taxpayers’ work and being stupid and/or lazy and all that jazz, but I would like it if the man I am dating was not one of those people.
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#13
Lying that you like the same things we do.
Image credits: Fluid-Vacation-3172
#14
I don’t want a show, I don’t want bravado. I not a damsel in distress, I don’t need to be fixed.
Accept me for who I am, and don’t try to change me to fit your narrative.
Be genuine, listen. Your efforts do not have to be grand, maybe you heard her say that her favorite color is X and you’ll bring her something that color.
Image credits: DreadPriratesBooty
#15
Just talking about themselves the whole date and not taking any interest in anything you have to say. No follow questions. And yes making lame sexual innuendos too.
Image credits: Weekly-Psychology137
#16
Never disagreeing with me.
It’s suspicious and it’s a red flag that you’re not being honest.
Image credits: LizardPossum
#17
Ghosting or suddenly starting to mistreat her once you’ve lost interest instead of just saying it outright. The fact that you rejected me already hurts, don’t make it worse by making me feel like it’s something I did wrong that made you lose interest, you just didn’t like me for whatever reason. I’ve seen perfectly kind people be rejected in the most brutal ways because the guy felt guilty about rejecting her and couldn’t deal with those emotions, so they just started mistreating her, making her think she did something wrong.
Image credits: Overthemoon-624
#18
Trauma dumping on the first date.
Image credits: everlylennonn
#19
“Oh I’d love to hang out sometime”
“Yeah that sounds fun ☺️”
And then he never tries to even attempt to make a plan.
Image credits: Living-Living-4211
#20
Not asking any questions and actually keeping the conversation going… Ridiculously basic but shocking how many men don’t understand this, including the ones that show strong interest.
Image credits: ChemistryMean3876
#21
Showing extreme jealousy over a girl you aren’t even dating. My best friend had a small bday party, and there were mostly people I knew, and some I didn’t. A guy came up and told me I was very pretty and he liked my outfit. I said thank you and continued to see my friend. I started playing pool with her brother, and I looked up to see that same guy fuming and staring daggers at me. Bro, I don’t know you? Why tf are you grilling me like that. It came off seriously unhinged because he did it the whole party every time I socialized with any of the guys.
Image credits: Glittering-Relief402
#22
Trying to impress me with achievements of his parents. He might be a Mama’s boy.
Image credits: softheartlilia
#23
A lot of guys will either only want to talk once a week but want the women to stay committed to the concept of them, or they’ll cuss out a women they’re talking to because she didn’t answer them for 45 minutes when she was busy.
Don’t be either of those dudes. In-between is good.
#24
Treating it like a transaction and not taking no for an answer.
You’re not going to earn my interest and you’re not going to convince me I’m wrong for not being interested. Be yourself, be a decent person, show that *you* are actually interested and the attraction will either be there or it won’t.
#25
Acting completely uninterested in women as a whole. Its not a flex that u “only find me attractive”. Like ive known u for one day and ur lying.
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Image credits: CreamCheeseSandwhich
#26
Not the “biggest” mistake, but if he won’t let me pay for my own coffee or meal on the first date, there will not be a second.
I don’t like feeling like I “owe” people things, and I don’t like it when a guy is more interested in Correctly Performing Manliness than he is in listening to a simple “no thank you.”.
Image credits: ThatInAHat
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