You know what’s worse than stepping on a LEGO barefoot? Performing an entire wedding mass for friends only to find out you weren’t invited as a guest, but merely for the things you can offer.
That’s exactly what happened to today’s Original Poster (OP) who generously lent his musical talents to a friend’s wedding only to be told he wasn’t actually invited to the wedding as a guest. Instead of moping, though, he pulled a reverse uno.
More info: Reddit
Friendship and business don’t always mix, especially when expectations aren’t clearly set
Image credits: Yura Forrat / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author, lawyer, and musician, agreed to perform music for a friend’s Catholic wedding mass as a personal favor
Image credits: InCONTEMPTible
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As the date neared, he realized he wasn’t invited as a guest but was just expected to show up, rehearse, and perform
Image credits: InCONTEMPTible
Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After the wedding, he sent a professional invoice which was ignored, prompting him to send a demand letter
Image credits: InCONTEMPTible
When still unpaid, he sued the couple, won in court, and sparked mixed reactions within their friend group
The OP, a lawyer and multi-instrumentalist, had a history of performing at weddings for friends, as a favor. So when his friends asked him to handle all the music for their Catholic wedding mass, he agreed. That meant rehearsals, organ, vocals, the full liturgical works; this was a big ask, but he assumed it came with a wedding invite at the very least.
To his surprise, that invite never came. When he followed up, the bride-to-be casually informed him they’d “had to trim the guest list,” but that he was still welcome to come early and rehearse. Despite the cold shoulder, he kept his word and performed the entire mass solo. However, he didn’t get a seat at the table. No slice of cake. No greeting. Just free labor.
So, after the wedding, he sent a professional invoice of what the rate would have been, but the couple ignored him and continued to ghost him. After 30 days, he lawyered up and sent a demand letter, and when he didn’t hear from them, he sued and cited a breach of oral contract and unjust enrichment.
With clear documentation of texts, screenshots, song lists, and timing, he represented himself in court. His former friends were visibly shocked he actually went through with it, but the judge ruled in his favor, awarding him the full invoice amount plus court costs. Now, the friend group is divided with some saying he was petty, while others quietly applaud him for standing up for himself.
Image credits: Red Nguyen / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Investopedia affirms that an oral contract is a legally binding agreement made through spoken communication rather than a written document. Despite the fact that there’s no written record to confirm the agreed-upon terms, courts recognize oral contracts, especially when there’s supporting evidence like messages or witness testimony.
According to Open Privilege, doing favors for friends often comes with hidden costs whether it be financial, emotional, or social. These costs grow when expectations are unclear or when the exchange feels one-sided. While it’s common for people to help loved ones without formalities, healthy friendships usually maintain a balance of give and take.
Based on this, Offbeat Wed suggests that when asking friends to take on roles like vendors at your wedding, it’s important to treat the arrangement with care and respect. They suggest offering at least a small payment as a gesture of appreciation and recognizing the value of your friend’s time and skill.
Most importantly, they advise separating business from pleasure, meaning that personal relationships shouldn’t excuse cutting corners or ignoring professional norms.
Netizens supported the OP’s decision to sue, with many agreeing he was well within his rights. They emphasized that by excluding him from the guest list, the couple effectively treated him as a hired performer, not a friend.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think suing friends is ever justified, or did this cross a line? We would love to know your thoughts!
Some friends applauded him, while some said he went “too far,” but netizens don’t agree that he went too far
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