Every healthy marriage is built on a solid foundation of trust. If you can’t be honest with your partner, your relationship is doomed. And once you’ve survived over a decade with your spouse, you might assume that it’s smooth sailing from here on out. Nothing could tear you apart now!
But 11 years into her relationship, one woman had a startling revelation that turned her world upside down. Below, you’ll find a post she shared on Reddit detailing how she found out about her husband’s secret second family, as well as some of the replies concerned readers left her.
Spouses vow to always be honest and open with one another
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But this woman’s world was turned upside down when she found out that her husband had been living a double life
Image credits: MikeShots/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anonymous
Later, the woman responded to several questions readers had and provided more background information
Infidelity can cause irreparable damage to a marriage
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Marriage is intended to be until death do you part, and couples tying the knot are filled with optimism and excitement for the next stage in their lives. Unfortunately, however, we all know that the honeymoon phase can’t last forever. Somewhere between one third and one half of all marriages will end in divorce, and one of the most common issues that splits up marriages is infidelity.
According to the Institute for Family Studies, about 20% of married men and 13% of married women admit to cheating on their spouse at some point. When it comes to when people decide to betray their spouses, wives are most likely to cheat between the ages of 60 to 69, and husbands are most likely to cheat between the ages of 70 to 79.
As far as why people choose infidelity over ending their relationships, PsychCentral notes that some cheat for revenge or attention. Meanwhile, others might end up cheating when under the influence of alcohol or substances. And many people stray from their partners when they feel bored, dissatisfied or lonely in their relationship.
PsychCentral also reports that about one fifth of cheaters never get caught and never confess to their infidelity. But when the truth does come out, it can cause irreparable damage to relationships. In fact, Osbornes Law says cheating is the number one reason why marriages end in divorce.
And it’s no secret that being cheated on can be devastating for a spouse to accept. BetterHelp reports that finding out that your partner has cheated can cause emotional turmoil, trust issues, low self-esteem and even PTSD. It can also significantly impact how a person behaves in future relationships.
A secretive spouse is a huge red flag
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In this particular situation, however, it’s not only that this woman’s husband was cheating but also that he was living a secret double life. As crazy as that might sound, this is apparently not unheard of. And Global Investigations notes on their site that they’re experts at spotting the signs that someone might be living a lie.
The first red flag is if someone is often away from home. Outside of going to work, seeing their friends, going to the gym and running errands, they should probably be at home for the most part.
It’s also a bad sign if they have unusual boundaries. For example, if they won’t let you follow them on social media, won’t invite you to meet their friends and family or are unwilling to discuss certain topics, they might be hiding something.
If your partner avoids simple questions, that may be a red flag as well. They should be open and honest with you. And if their stories don’t add up or they’re extremely protective over their devices, there’s a good chance they’re concealing something that they don’t want you to see.
Everyone should feel comfortable opening up to their spouse. And as Verywell Mind warns, keeping secrets from your partner can violate trust and turn a relationship toxic.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you react if you were in this woman’s shoes? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.
Readers were appalled by the husband’s behavior and encouraged the woman to cautiously get out of the marriage
After finding out more from her husband’s girlfriend, the author shared an update on her situation
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Finally, she shared one last post updating readers on the status of her marriage
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