We’ve all heard it a million times: “First impression is the last impression.” Sounds catchy, right? But let’s be honest, that’s not always how life works. Some people show up looking like the sweetest slice of pie, only to reveal they’re full of sour filling once you dig in.

So when someone asked the internet, “What’s the worst ‘Nice Guy’ experience you’ve ever had?” the answers rolled in faster than you can say red flag. From charm to chaos in 60 seconds, these stories had plot twists worthy of reality TV. Keep reading — you won’t believe how quickly “nice” turned into yikes.

#1

Dude would hit himself in the face when I rejected him. And then pulled the “I guess nice guys always finish last. 😔” like uh nice guys don’t punch themselves in the head in front of a woman when they say no thank you….

Image credits: starlitlily

#2

Most baffling was a guy at work who offered me a lift home. When we got to my place he was all “aren’t you going to invite me in?” And I was like…no? Then he told everyone at work I was a c**k tease lol.

Image credits: badpenny1983

#3

Invited me over for dinner. There was no food and he was in bed. Worst bait and switch ever!

Image credits: Niniva73

When you’re dating someone new, you’re basically a detective, watching for those green flags. Are they kind to the waiter? Do they say thank you to cab drivers? Those little things speak volumes. You’re not asking for a saint, just someone who’s genuinely nice without being performative. And honestly, isn’t that kind of care super attractive?

Now, when it comes to guys, wouldn’t it be lovely to meet someone who feels like a real gentleman? The kind who opens doors not to show off, but because it’s second nature. He offers his hand when you’re stepping out of the cab, remembers your favorite snack, and carries tissues like a pocket magician. Suddenly, you’re thinking: Is chivalry actually not dead?

#4

She turned down a date, politely. He said it was okay, he “respected her choice.”
The next day, her nudes were leaked online — ones she had only ever sent to a guy she trusted.
Turns out, Mr. Nice Guy hacked her cloud “to prove she wasn’t so innocent after all.”

Image credits: ukraian-valkyrie

#5

Oh my god there was this guy who I would speak to on my commute. He was very awkward and I made polite small talk but really I just wanted to read my book. Anyway one day he comes up to at the train station and says he saw me out with my husband and kids. He then went mental. Accused me of leading him on, called me a slag, threatened to k**l himself, broke down crying, begged me to leave my husband for hm. Then asked to no one in particular why does this keep happening to him.

Image credits: jensationallift

#6

Was my friend for 7 years! 7 years!

We supported each other in college, studying, he asked and I set him up with a friend, they dated, broke up, I stayed friends with both. Helped each other move at last 5 times, endless resume editing, relationship advice, introduced him to people as my brother. Maximum contact was an occasional hug.

Found myself single near a big birthday, while crying about the fresh break up on the phone with him, he decided that I should try dating him, or at least hook up, and that I owed it to him because he’s always been there for me. Excuse me?! I had always been there for him too and I didn’t think anything was owed to me!

Image credits: BrutallyBond

But defining a gentleman isn’t always straightforward. Some traits are subjective. For instance, maybe he doesn’t wear a blazer but knows how to hold a good conversation. Still, there are a few unmistakable signs. If he’s making an effort to be kind, present, and thoughtful, without needing applause, you’ve got someone special on your hands. Gentleman vibes, activated.

He actually tries. That’s the first green flag. Not over-the-top grand gestures but simple consistency, checking in on your day, remembering that weird indie film you mentioned once, texting back without playing games. He puts in effort not because he’s trying to impress, but because he cares. And wow, that’s rarer than it should be.

#7

I used to daily drive a heavily modified, high HP, turbo car. One day the turbo decided to eat itself. No worries. It was on the top in front of the engine, so easy to access. “Guy” was a friend and ONLY a friend of mine, or so I thought, and offered to help. This is important. He OFFERED. I never asked.

So he comes by, helps take the turbo out. We hang out, shoot the s**t, drink a beer, or a few, finish up the removal, and he goes on his way.

I then send the turbo back for warranty. Turbo comes back maybe a month later.

In the meantime, I had just met “FH”, who happened to be a professional mechanic. When I mentioned I couldn’t hang out with him on a weekend day, he asked why, so I explained. He offered to come help with install. I said thank you, and that was that. He came over, helped with install, we grabbed some food after and then he went home.

So eventually “guy” asks when we are reinstalling the turbo, and I told him it was already done. He got a little weird but apparently I missed the whole thing. Then he started digging. Like I wasn’t capable of doing the job myself (I am), he eventually kept asking who helped me with the install. I told him “FH”.

His reply? “Well I bet he at least got laid for his hard work”.

Uh, I guess eventually he did, since we’ve been together for almost 18 years, but not because he helped me do something I *could* do myself.

TLDR: nice guy thought that helping me work on my car was going to get him laid, even though I absolutely didn’t need his help.

Image credits: Hippopotasaurus-Rex

#8

He helped me move brought me coffee and always acted like a great friend until I started dating someone else and he completely flipped called me ungrateful and said I owed him a chance Classic ‘nice guy’ behavior -kindness with conditions.

Image credits: Salty_Squirrel535

#9

Knew this guy in my freshman year of college. Super nice, always willing to go out of his way for people. One night I was at a party with him and my girlfriends and we all got completely crunk wasted except for one friend who was DD. Turns out he tried to get me to come home with him, and when my sober friend told him “no, absolutely not,” he went into this whole spiel about how I owed him the s*x and I needed to come home with him. We all got out of there immediately, and I don’t even remember any of it.

Image credits: Clear_Ad2384

Also, he doesn’t leave people hanging. Whether it’s showing up on time or following through on what he promised, he’s dependable. You’re not left second-guessing plans or wondering if he’s ghosted mid-conversation. A gentleman respects your time and shows it with actions, not just emoji hearts.

#10

I was friends with a group of people and closer to one guy in particular. I babysat his kid, he bought me dinner, very give and take type of friendship. One time I’m s******l and really needed to go to the emergency room. Wanted to avoid large ambulance bill so guy I’m close to takes me, afterwards wouldn’t stop hounding me to date him. I said no each time and was met with, “but I took you to the hospital!” It was heavily implied he would have just let me die if he knew ahead of time I would not f**k or date him. How lovely!

Image credits: headbaang

#11

Freshman year, a guy in one of my classes offered to tutor me in stats. I said sure—he *was* good at it and I actually needed the help. Every session, he brought me a little gift (coffee, granola bar, handwritten poems… yeah). I tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but he brushed it off.

Then one day I thanked him and said I finally passed the quiz. His response? “Well now you owe me a date. Or at least a makeout session.”

I said no. He told everyone I’d been leading him on for *months*. Bro. I was just trying to understand standard deviation.

Image credits: himi_jendrix420

#12

When I was in my 20’s, I lived with my male coworker/best friend for a year. I’m a lesbian and had a long distance girlfriend at the time, and they formed their own friendship when she would come to visit. One weekend, I was away for a wedding, and behind my back he moved her into our home. I was shocked when I came back to this “surprise” and she told me he was adamant about how I wanted her to move in, but I was too scared to ask her so he wanted to surprise me. For the record – I did NOT want to live with her at that time.

Well, within those first 6 months after she moved in, he was the standard nice guy. We all cohabitated well and formed an amazing friendship with family meals, movie nights and outings. But then one night he said he wanted to have a meeting with us.

In a very serious and emotional moment for him, he told us that he wanted us to start a family together and that he would impregnate my girlfriend and we could all spend the rest of our lives living together. We thought he was joking, but he was almost on the verge of tears with how much this would mean to him and was in love with us both. We both shot the idea down and talked privately about how uncomfortable that was.

Cut to the following months, he started pitting us against each other, not cleaning up and was telling each other us that the other was cheating. When we eventually decided to move out and eventually broke up, he immediately tried to date her and she ended up cutting contact with him because he was so pushy. We tried to maintain an amicable friendship because we worked together, but he kept making weird sexual comments my way and I eventually got a new job.

A year later he asked me to go on a walk so we could try to repair the friendship, and he gave me a letter stating he was in love with us both and he had never imagined dealing with heartbreak from two women. He blamed both of us for failing school, living in a s****y apartment and not being where he wanted to be in life. It was so strange, manipulative and heartbreaking as prior to living together – he was truly one of the “nice guys”.

Image credits: Cameltoenail

He doesn’t dive into drama like it’s an Olympic sport. A real gentleman isn’t into petty gossip or bashing others to boost his ego. Sure, he might spill a little tea, but never in a mean-spirited way. He speaks thoughtfully and knows when to just stay quiet and sip his drink.

#13

Ugh. This guy. We hung out for YEARS and I considered him a good friend. We’d play video games, go eat, etc etc. When I left my ex it tore me up. He was such a good person but I just wasn’t happy at all.

I was texting him about it and he sent me a novel about how he’s waited so long for me, and that he felt like it was his turn. I was kinda baffled and didn’t reply. He then sent “Even if you won’t date me, I can give you something physical.” I told him we weren’t going to be discussing that and I tried to put some distance between us. He “apologized” but would still try to get me to come over and drink with him almost every day, which definitely gave me a bad feeling.

When I wasn’t hanging out or really speaking with him it started to ramp up. He started showing up at my work to stare at me from outside the storefront, and then he started sending me Snapchats of him crying with captions like “please I can make you so happy it’s not fair” and “if you ever cared about me you’ll give me just one thing” so then he got blocked on everything.

So several weeks pass and I got involved with my now husband. We made it official on Facebook and all that. I got a text from an unknown number saying “I see why you had no time for me.” And then a few minutes later “F*****g s**t”

Dude was bats**t. I’m convinced he was going to try and get me super drunk and take advantage of me and I’m so glad I never went around him again. It really broke my heart that someone I thought was a good friend was just waiting for his moment to try and swoop in.

Image credits: Kitty_Britches

#14

He was a friend and never showed any romantic interest. I worked in a club. He offered to walk me home after work to make sure I’m safe. I declined because had to spend an hour cleaning after closing and didn’t want him waiting that long. He did wait. He walked me home only to go inside then refuse to leave unless I had s*x. Took ages to get him to go. We didn’t have s*x tbc. My main job started at 9am and he knew this but still kept me up because he wouldn’t leave. Think he hoped I’d give in because I was exhausted.

Image credits: Cantre-r_Gwaelod_1

#15

A friend of mine for 10 years. I always knew he wanted more, but was always respectful when I said no (sometimes you know a person too well to date them). A mutual friend passed away. He ended up being the one to tell me our friend had passed. He forced hugs on me, told me that eventually I would get “drunk enough” one night and let me inhibitions down and have s*x with him. That he would wear me down eventually. I told him he was giving off r**e vibes and he lost it. I blocked him on everything and have avoided the town where he lives for the past 4 years. Mutual friends think I went too far. Nope, I am a r**e survivor and will not tolerate any of that s**t. Nice guy my a*s.

Image credits: blueyedwineaux

He has opinions, but he’s not bulldozing others with them. He knows where he stands on things, but also understands that different people have different views. You can have a passionate debate without it turning into a TED Talk on why he’s right. That balance? Chef’s kiss.

There’s also a big difference between confidence and arrogance and he knows it. He’s secure, not smug. You’ll never catch him turning everything into a flex or making you feel less than. He builds people up, doesn’t tear them down. And his confidence? It’s contagious.

#16

Had a guy i knew in high school ask me out. Then faked a s*******m attempt and hospitalization when I turned him down and pretended to be his mom telling me about how he’s so nice and deserves at least one date when he “gets out of the hospital”. Then, when I called him out he said he doesn’t date “pathetic females” like me anyway. Real charmer.

Image credits: big_tiddygoth_gf

#17

I was 17, he was 2…8 i think. We’d met briefly at a festival. 

Ran into each other in my hometown at a festival where his bestie was banging some girl. Stuck around with me all day. Met my boyfriend. Bought me a few drinks, which I didn’t think much of (he had a very well paying job in IT). He opened up about his s****y ex. Told me he was a virgin cause girls didn’t like nice guys. Anyway. Followed me to a bar I went to after the festival where I was a regular. He started crying. Sir, this is a metalhead bar… Said I should take his virginity since I’m fat and ugly and don’t have anything better to do. I said no. He cried more. Guys at the bar were asking why I brought him there. I held his hand while he cried and put him on a cab when he stopped. 

A month later I was minding my business at a festival out of town when he showed up because I said I’d be there. I’d made some friends the night before and we were all sat at the same table, some pretty sexist but nice metalhead guys. He said he was a virgin and I was his only hope. He cried. They were making jokes about how I should at least give the man a b*****b. Everyone but me was 20+. I shrugged it off and said I had a boyfriend. Eventually he f****d off. 

(Why I was so carefree at 17 is a different story).

Image credits: Same-Ring3722

#18

We were teenagers, people would always hang at my place. One day I was chilling with the ladies and we were giggling over boys as girls do. Unfortunately one of the boys was “too shy to come in” and stood outside my window, listening to us talk… also when we proceeded to giggle at his unwanted advances on one of my friends.

In the weeks after, I received some creepy s**t in the mail. First it was a bunch of bloody feathers, like he’d just grabbed a chicken and yanked half its skin and feathers off and then put it in our mailbox. Then a week later, a letter scrawled in creepy dark red ink about how horrible we were for laughing at a Nice Guy like him and we learned it wasn’t the first or only time he’d been hanging out outside my window, nor had it just been for a couple unlucky seconds that one time. Word got out. He was kinda shunned afterwards, he tried to invite girls to parties and promised them booze and tried to do a whole pre-fedora melady thing, but no one would ever show up. Then he went on to be a soldier stationed in Kosovo, had a couple a*****e relationships, and I kinda lost track of him from there.

Image credits: GreenGlassDrgn

He’s big on self-improvement. Whether it’s reading more, learning a new skill, or working on being a better listener, he’s not stuck in “this is just how I am” mode. He’s growing, evolving, and that attitude is magnetic. Who doesn’t want a partner who’s leveling up with them?

#19

Lost one of my friends on a crazy night out in an unfamiliar city. Not picking up her phone. We looked for her for over an hour in a half-mile radius. Finally we got a call from a Nice Guy from the bar who allegedly saw her wandering alone and had brought her to his apartment, heard her phone blowing up and called me back. She was indeed asleep on his couch. We thanked him, packed her up, and went on our way.

A couple days later, he called me again to ask me on a date. I politely declined — I had a bf at the time, but would have said no regardless. That was apparently unacceptable, and he told me I owed it to him for not r**ing my friend when he had the chance. Literally, he told me he could have done whatever he wanted to her and didn’t need to call me at all and it was the least I could do to thank him. I let him know that you don’t get a trophy for not r**ing someone… he cussed me out and went on about how he’s a veteran and how dare I and blah blah blah… hung up and blocked him. Entitled creep.

Image credits: leapfroggy

#20

A horrible date with a “nice guy” named Josh back in 2002.

We went hiking on our date, he spent the entire time bragging about how smart he was, smarter than everyone he’s ever known, so smart, he knew not to go to a university because community college is just as good for much less. Everyone who goes to a university is an idiot, everyone who doesn’t do things the exact way Josh does them is a low-IQ moron.

All of Josh’s co-workers are idiots; he was the best Geek Squad employee in history, and Best Buy would fall apart without him.

Josh also had a lot of trouble finding a woman because women often have low IQs and can’t keep up with his intellect. Women are dumb, not me, though, I’m OK.

I could not wait to get home and block the guy.

Edit:

I met him on Yahoo Personals. He came off OK there and we arranged a date after a short conversation.

Yes, we had AIM and Yahoo Messenger back then, and that’s where I blocked him.

I don’t know where Josh is today, I don’t care.

I don’t care what his side of the story is, he was a t**t and probably still is.

No, I wasn’t fat.

Josh’s attitude and horrible personality are 100% Josh’s fault, not mine.

Image credits: will_write_for_tacos

#21

Hit it off with this one guy while out with friends. He was super sweet, said all the right things and we were flirting for a while.

Finally I went to leave with a friend and got into her passenger seat, was thinking of maybe meeting up with him until he came to my friend’s car, banged on the window with his fists and asked “do you wanna f**k?” before I could even roll the window down.

I said no, started to roll the window up and he put his fingers in it so I couldn’t. Just stood there with an angry face for a while, called me a b***h and stomped away.

Image credits: sunshineandcats21

And he values what you have to say. Even if you’re ranting about your day or overanalyzing a dream you had about a talking dolphin, he’s listening. Genuinely. A gentleman respects your voice, your space, and your boundaries — not just when it’s convenient for him.

#22

Someone was “my friend” and they were around me at parties and stuff. I got super drunk at one and I was supposed to feel safe there. What he didn’t know is that I heard him saying (as he put me into his friend’s car) “she’s going to be easy tonight” to said friend.

The friend was a gentleman and he laid me in his bed and then went to get his Nintendo switch, sat on the floor and I woke up in time to see him playing and we became best friends.

Thankfully he never tried anything and I cut the other guy out of my life.

#23

Joined a gaming group, slowly started to speak to someone and make a close friend. 3 months went on, eventually he said he “like liked” me. I said i didn’t feel the same. He took it well and said he was happy to remain friends. We had exchanged Christmas cards before it all went to hell, so he knew where i lived.

Then the little quips of intensity started, until he was calling me 50 times a day, all day every day needed to stay in contact. Slowly chats turned to harrassment every day, making up stories of things I hadn’t done, berating me and blowing up if I didn’t reply within a 30 second window.

I tried to cut him off but then it would make it 10x worse to where he was screaming to everyone that he was going to k**l himself if I didn’t speak to him, I was only 18 at the time. It was easier to just keep the peace than to try and get away. Then the gifts started, sending things to my house, turning up at my house multiple times a week even though he lived 300 miles away. He told everybody a completely different story to what he was actually doing to make himself look better and come out on top. It only stopped when I contacted the police. His entire family still blame me.

#24

I met him when I was 16, he was 20, while playing league of legends. We kept getting in the same games and eventually just added each other and queued up. We lived in the same city and there was a meetup for other gamers so we had met in person a couple months later after playing every day together.

I didn’t really have a lot of friends, so I did cling to him during these meetups, where we would all go to this internet cafe and get pizza and play LoL. He was nice, he would pick me up and drive me to the city or take the train to mine and escort me down and teach me about public transport. I truly saw him as a best friend.

Eventually, I guess he got inpatient. He would be jealous that I had a crush on a guy in my grade, lamenting about what this boy had that he didn’t. He’d bring up all the things he did for me, how he never asked to be repaid or anything back. He wanted us to lose our virginities to each other, he wanted me. He never did anything to me when I was underage, a silver lining I suppose.

I drifted myself away from him and he let go.

Two years pass, I’m 18. I see him again when there’s a big LoL event in our city and he starts talking to me. I was naive, I forgave him. Because how could I hate someone for wanting me? Ha.

He offers to drive me home, I accept because it’s late and I’ve overstayed in the city talking to him.

He’s changed! Apparently. He’s gone to gym, got fit, started seeing girls and lost his virginity! Good for him, I said. He talks about how he loves it when women are smaller than him, like me, how these Asian girls love how big he is, how he throws them around. I’m uncomfortable, because I am an Asian girl. He asks if I’ve done anything yet, I guess he thinks that my aversion to dating him before was because I was frigid? I’m nearly home. Nearly there! I text my dad, ask him to meet me infront of the house because I’m scared.

He then drops the question, if I’d like to see his p***s. I refuse. He then asks me to change the song, I look down and yea, he has it out. He’s smiling, thinking that I’d be impressed? Or overcome with lust? Quite the opposite.

I open the car door while it’s still moving, he’s swearing and stopping the car and I just get out and tell him to never talk to me again. I’m close to my home and I see my dear dad, standing menacingly in the dark at the end of the driveway.

I run to my dad and he charges down the street to the car. I get back inside and not long after, my father does too. I’m blocked from that guy on every platform I had him on, except Snapchat, where he later sends me a slurry of a**se before blocking me too.

Not much is said but it’s not needed. I love my dad and the day he saved me.

Most of all, he doesn’t disrespect others: not in traffic, not in arguments, not ever. He knows that true character shows when there’s nothing to gain. Whether it’s the barista, his mom, or your loud neighbor, his kindness is steady. And that right there? The biggest green flag of all.

#25

He was about twice my age (I was 25ish, he was about 50) close to twice my weight (not in muscle) wasn’t active in the slightest (compared to my incredibly active lifestyle at the time) didn’t have any hobbies, I didn’t find him attractive at all, and we didn’t have anything in common but he got mad that I wouldn’t give him a chance because he was a “nice guy”.

Then he spread rumors around the workplace (yes, we worked together which was also a factor in my decision to decline pursuing a relationship) that I was a mean, coldhearted b***h tease because I “flirted” with him but wouldn’t go out with him.

Oh, p.s. the “flirting” he was talking about was me saying hi to him when I passed him on the factory floor. 😒.

#26

My friend group was out dancing, and we talked to a group of men one of us knew. I met them for maybe 30 seconds, in a dark club, and went right back to dancing with my friends.

One of those men asked a friend for my number, and he stalked me for 3 years. The Norwegian police took him to court, and he was still messaging me from new numbers telling me we were made for each other until he was sentenced.

#27

He works (still does) in the same lab as me. We’re both from the same part of the world and he insisted he could predict the type of person I was.
That I like music. I enjoy spicy food. I want to get married and have kids. No s**t, so does 99% of the world. Kept insisting we had so much in common.
Then he asked me out for a team planning meal, but it would only be him and I. My gut told me to run and I told that it wouldn’t be appropriate, especially if it was meant to be a team thing. He tried to laugh it off, saying I was “overthinking it,” that it was just “friendly.”

The last straw was when he tried to corner me in the lab, asking personal questions under the guise of “just getting to know a colleague.” I then told him unequivocally that if he needed to talk, make sure it was in email only. It didn’t deter him and it only stopped when HR got involved at my insistence.

He stopped asking questions. But the stares didn’t stop. Neither did the weird little comments slipped into casual conversations, like “I know you better than you think” or “You’ll come around.”

Regardless of gender, these are qualities everyone should aspire to. On the flip side, these posts highlight exactly how not to behave. Which one surprised you the most? Have you ever met someone like this? Tell us your story.

#28

I once went out with a “nice guy” named Matt who said he loved “soft girls with deep thoughts.” Seemed poetic. Big mistake.

On our date, he took me to this weird coffee shop with no menu because “real connoisseurs know what to ask for.” He then ordered for me without asking, because “he could tell what kind of girl I was.”

He kept calling me “kitten” the entire time — I had never given him a nickname to use. He asked if I liked guys who cry and when I said “sure, I think it’s healthy,” he launched into a rant about how women “say they want sensitivity but always go for jerks.”

#29

My roommates and I were having a house party one evening, with maybe 40 or so friends. This one gal gets really drunk, so we put her in my bedroom and closed the door – but we checked on her periodically.

When I went to check on her, one guy we knew was in bed with her trying to convince her to wake up to sleep with him. He was actually pretty nice guy, and I liked chatting/hanging with him. But, I told him to GTFO of the room and my house right now in a very serious tone.

He promptly left, and that was the end of it. He eventually married another friend and had kids and seems to have had a happy life together.

Very bizarre and unexpected. Glad the gal was safe, though.

#30

I met a guy at work who seemed really cool, we would have cigs together every once in a while for months. I gave him my number but told him upfront I wasn’t interested in him in THAT way. He said that was fine, and he understood. We texted here and there, made plans to hang out but we both couldn’t make it the few times we did.

Randomly one day he was drunk and texting me flirty things which I just kinda ignored. Following that day he apologized, and I said it was okay and just reiterated I wasn’t looking for anything like that. He continued to text me, non stop, repeatedly, asking why I wasn’t responding and why I gave him my number if I didn’t “want him”, because he clearly wanted me and that’s why he gave me his number which I must have known.

I told him it wasn’t anything personal and that I wasn’t over my ex. He then asked me to give him graphic details of my ex, like d**k size, what made him so great, etc. I quickly cut the convo off. Later, he started doing the same things to me saying I’m just like every other woman, damaged goods, who blame all men for the actions of their ex. It became scary and I blocked him. Over a year later, he reached out to me from a burner fb account telling me he now has a DUI and it’s my fault, because the night of our conversation he got drunk and went out driving. I responded saying please don’t talk to me. He wrote back saying “remind me again why you don’t like me? Because I’m creepy? An r / nicegguy?” His words verbatim. He’s a disturbing individual.

#31

Date with a local guy while I was home for the summer (living abroad) many years ago.

He was nice/cute but trying a bit too hard and wanting to move really fast (I think I was 25 at the time and not imminently ready for marriage). After two dates I just wasn’t feeling it as he was love bombing me with all kinds of crazy, lavish gifts (AirPods, expensive alcohol that I liked, etc – he had some money but wasn’t crazy wealthy or anything) from the beginning. When I declined a third date, he started sending the gift packages to my mom’s house, and always included a love note about how much he liked me and how desperately he wanted me to come over to his place for dinner some time.

The craziest was the last gift which included 2 concert tickets to see Bon Iver in the European city I was currently living, saying how he would fly out and come to the show with me. Needless to say I did NOT go, and the concert ironically ended up being cancelled by the artist. Guess it was never meant to be….(and he promptly blocked me on all social media after that lol 🙃).

#32

I wish there were some way to burn every copy of every episode of the TV show *The Big Bang Theory*.

While it was airing, this weird guy thought it was *perfectly normal* to follow me to my office on my first day of grad school. He stood at the door to block my only exit, and proceeded to tell me that he “had to” follow me because otherwise he “might not see me again.” I had to nod along while he thought it made perfect sense to deliver a sales pitch for himself.

Fortunately, the Department head agreed to give me a new office near the receiving desk, so there’d always be other people near. But d**n, what a s****y start to the academic year.

#33

Matched with a dude on hinge last year, talked for a day or two and exchanged numbers. Sent him a selfie of me without makeup, like just for fun idk it wasn’t flirty or sexual. And he got the metadata from that iPhone photo and sent me a google maps picture of the house I sent it from.

Blocked him immediately, and then he somehow used my number or my address to find my full name, and then from there my email address. He sent me an email demanding to know what he did wrong, that he didn’t understand my overreaction…. like dude!!!! Anyways I don’t text anyone off of the apps until after a first date, such a weird situation, and I still can’t believe he sent me an email being like “YOURE the crazy one for reacting like this!!” He was just being nice I guess.

#34

When I was about 18-19 I was a very geeky kid (still am!). I got talking to this guy online via a TV show fandom we were both in. He seemed nice, same age, lived only about an hour away by train. I had some episodes of this TV show that he didn’t, and after a few months of friendly email chatting we arranged for him to come to my town and meet up so that he could copy them. This was the days of VHS/DVDs, so not easily transferable online. I had already told him that my parents and brother would be at home and that he was welcome to stay for dinner before he caught the train back.

We met up in town and things seemed to be going OK. We went back to my place and said hi to my parents, after which he seemed really unhappy and told me that he felt ill. While the tapes were recording he spent most of the afternoon locked in the bathroom throwing up. We were all really concerned and thought that he had food poisoning or something.

I was disappointed, as I had thought that we might have a fun afternoon being nerds over this TV show. We’d discussed which episodes to watch, and planned numerous other geeky topics to discuss in person. Instead, he came out of the bathroom, coldly collected his tapes and said that he was leaving early. I walked him back to the train station in silence, gave him a confused hug and waved goodbye. I thought that maybe he was just still feeling ill, or was embarrassed about throwing up.

Several days later, he sent me an email saying that he was still thinking about the hug and asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn’t attracted to him at all and I really had just thought of him as a friend, so I declined as gently and tactfully as I could.

He didn’t take it well and got angry. He’d apparently convinced himself that I’d invited him to come over to my house and have s*x, despite all our discussions about my family being there and plans for which episodes to watch that afternoon. I read back over our emails and honestly couldn’t see where he’d made that assumption, but he accused me of leading him on and wanted me to repay him his train fare. It felt horrible knowing that he’d only been willing to come and see me because he thought that he could get s*x out of it, and that I wasn’t worth his time or a train trip otherwise.

I now think that he’d either worked himself up into such a state of h***y anticipation that he literally made himself sick from it, or that he was just hiding in the bathroom for hours to avoid having to make actual normal conversation with me while his tapes recorded. Possibly both.

Our contact petered out after that, because he’d shown his true colours. Probably about a year and a half later I got a single terse email from him telling me that he now had a girlfriend so I’d missed my chance, and a picture of the tapes that I’d recorded for him melted and in the bin.

#35

I’m bisexual. I met a “nice guy” who was also queer and knew my boyfriend well. Nice guy and I start bonding as friends, he’s the kind of guy I can leave my drink around and feel safe etc, etc. He gets married and everything is great.

Then one day, out of nowhere, he texts me to try to talk me into a t*******e with him and his wife, with the caveat my boyfriend can’t know.

I’ve never shown a bit of interest in this dude, nor his wife. I told my boyfriend and immediately blocked him. We still have mutual friends and see each other around occasionally, but I refuse to talk to him.

#36

I was 16(f) and had to transfer to a neighboring school.

Making friends was awkward you know. I didn’t know anyone. But there was a group of guys who were nerdy in chemistry. I was really into magic and Dr who at the time so we hit it off. They built me a magic deck and let me play. We talked about music and comic books and all the fun stuff.

I was horribly naive. I didn’t pick up on a lot of hints. But there was one of the guys and we like coheed and Cambria. There are accompanying graphic novels.
Well he surprised me and said he got me one! I was stoked. I was like ok dude after you finish reading it I will read it and we can talk about it and listen to the album.

Well he was really pushy about me finishing it, but there were final projects and I was busy and I couldn’t read it at home since my parents were strict. I finally get to the end and there is a proposal for prom.

I had a boyfriend at the time. Granted he was a dbag and went to my old school. But this guy was pissed. Ripped the comic from my hands. Yelled at me. Called me a cold hearted b***h and anytime we would pass in the hall he would call me a w***e. Just so weird.

The other guys in the group were good sports and it didnt affect our friendship. We just didn’t really talk to him anymore.

#37

My mom forgot to pick me up from school as a junior, and it was pouring rain. My boyfriend’s friend was around and offered me a ride home. I normally would not have, but because of the freezing cold, pouring rain I chose to get in.

He almost immediately started talking about how attractive I was, how my boyfriend was not a good match for me & said my boyfriend was actually secretly gay, went on about how he could treat me better. I politely turned him down, because I was trapped in a car with him and was afraid to be rude. I said I was flattered but that I really liked my boyfriend and that I am sure a very nice girl would come along for him.

He flipped out on me saying I thought I was too good for him, pulled over, and made me get out of his car and walk the rest of the way home in the pouring rain.

The next day at school he told everyone that I had tried to seduce him in the car and put my hands on him etc trying to do so. Said that I flipped out on him when he rebuffed me, tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, etc. Spread crazy rumors about me through the rest of the school year, periodically increasingly awful stories that were not based on anything in reality. It was exhausting.

#38

I had a few dates, after graduation (and I can’t emphasize more) with a former human rights professor of mine. He would preach about women’s rights, gay rights like he really cared.

After some suspicion from my side, I got to know that he was married! I was also young and confused about my own sexuality and that’s the main reason behind my “willingness ” to date him. He knew it and he was demanding me to join a t*******e with another former student (a woman). He was not pleased when I said no.

At a certain point, I’ve had enough and ran away. Got to know that he was fired due to some misconduct, but now he’s giving interviews to a famous newspaper (back in my country) because he is really known in the human rights community.

…. and everyone thinks he’s a nice guy.

#39

Went out drinking with a girlfriend and we met up with the guy I was dating, a self proclaimed “nice guy” and a friend of his. He and his friend were acting weird and not mingling with us and it made my friend feel uncomfortable and so she decided to leave. I reassured her I would be ok with him, and later that night I ended up passing out on a couch at the bar. I woke up to him leading me outside for an uber and then he whipped out his phone and showed me all these embarrassing pictures he had taken of me while I was passed out on the couch. I was still fairly out of it but I said something groggily like “well that was creepy” and he flipped out. Told me I was a waste of time and he should’ve let me get r***d by leaving me down there. When we tried to “talk it out”, he refused to take accountability or apologize for the hurtful things he said or it not being a reflex to make sure I was ok. He kept saying “I reacted to how you treated me, im a nice guy.” And “you should trust me.” Boy bye. That was the end of that. 

#40

We bought groceries together for a work event and he insisted on putting all the groceries into the car because “I’m superior to him”. I had to nervously laugh my way out of that and say no of course not haha. When we got back into the car he asked if I was in a relationship I said no but that I also wasn’t looking (I was but I had a feeling he was going to ask). He said not even with me? I said haha no not with anyone sorry. He said I was being really rude by not even accepting a date.

When we got back to work he complained to everyone that I made him do all the shopping and that I then started name calling in the car. He also said *I* wouldn’t stop asking him on a date. Since everyone saw him bring the groceries back in (because he had strongly insisted) at least that part looked true and I was so scared because I didn’t know how to sort the whole thing out. Luckily the camera in the car had audio.

Edit: I really appreciate all the advice but this was a few years ago and has been resolved. He was fired soon after for apparently something else.

#41

Lot of guys online just call you a b***h right away if they talk to you like they care -if they talk to you for 10 minutes then “you owe them” type of logic.

#42

Haven’t had any because I’m a man but I’ve heard various horror story from friends.

Perhaps the worst must have been with a girl that I was going out a few years ago. She had a lot of orbiters but there was one in particular who had managed to break into her inner circle because he was playing the orbiter long game of pretending to be her friend. That wasn’t for a few months or anything, that guy had been hanging out with her for years and years, secretly liking her, but ostensibly claiming to be her friend and nothing more. And of course this is a s****y thing to do but at least most such people never actually muster up the courage to ever say anything so for all intents and purposes they sort of are friends. But this one was determined to find the perfect time to strike, the perfect opportunity to confess his feelings so that she would also reciprocate.

Did he choose to take her out on a wonderful day of activities and reminiscing about their good times together and their compatibility as people before shooting his shot? No. Did he get her a nice thoughtful gift before spilling the beans because he couldn’t hold it in anymore? No. Did he straight up just tell her and ask her her feelings because at the end of the day pretending to be someone’s friend when you have ulterior motives is a s****y thing to do and better come clean late than never? No. He chose to confess his feelings a few days after her dad passed away from cancer because in his mind her being “vulnerable” increased his chances. Yet another mark of a s****y person.

Of course it goes without saying that this same dude always s**t talked any prospective boyfriend she might have met and constantly undermined any actual boyfriend she had until she broke up. S****y, spineless behavior.

#43

My freshman year of highschool I became friends with a senior guy. He pretty quickly caught feelings and asked me out. I politely declined as I wasn’t interested, and wasn’t allowed to date at all even if I had been. He seemed to take it well at first.

But he never let me forget how he felt about me. Brought it up constantly, every day. I kept gently reminding him that my feelings and my parents rules had not and would not change, and he’d always say “Oh I know, I know! I don’t expect anything from you, i just want you to know that you’re loved!”

I decided it was fine, since he didn’t expect anything from me. Until he started to expect things from me. He’d ask me for a kiss everyday. “Can I have a kiss?” No. “Can I *give* you a kiss?” No. “It doesn’t have to be on the lips!” No. “C’mon, just on the cheek?” No! “Forehead?” No! “Back of the hand?” *No!* We started having that exact conversation, Every. Single. Day.

Until one day, instead of a kiss, he asked for a hug. Said he was sorry for being pushy, and he would try to be more considerate. I accepted his apology, and hugged him, because at the time it seemed like a much more harmless request, and since we were surrounded by my other friends and classmates, I figured if he wouldn’t try to get handsy.

And he didn’t grope me. He decided to try suffocating me instead. He was a lot bigger than me, and lifted me up off the ground. He squeezed until my spine popped and the air was forced out of my lungs. I couldn’t breathe well enough to call for help. I tried to tell him to let go, and that he was hurting me, and he just smiled, and whispered “I know.”

I started to black out, but I kicked him in his stomach. He still didn’t let go, but his grip loosened enough for me to wiggle one of my arms free, so I punched him in the face, which finally made him drop me. He tried to grab me again, so I punched him again.

I went into fight or flight at that point and actually did black out, so my memories of what happened next are pretty fragmented, but the next thing I remember for sure is him crawling away in the dirt while someone held me back. According to my friends, I’d knocked him on his a*s and jumped on top of him, trying to claw his eyes out while threatening to k**l him, until one of them pulled me away.

I explained to everyone what happened. Some people believed me, a lot of them didn’t. After a week or so of people telling me that I overreacted and needed to apologize, I tried talking to him (with a good friend watching from nearby). I asked him if he hurt me on purpose, and he said yes. I asked him why, and he said “Because your mine, and I can do whatever I want to you. You act like you don’t belong to me, so I was punishing you. But you’re mine, and you’ll always be mine, because I’ll always love you.”

I never spoke to him again. He tried following me around, but my friends (the ones I had left after everyone else decided that *I* was the psychopath, who was lying about and abusing a poor innocent man) made sure he never got close, and I got good at avoiding him, so he never got the chance to find out where I lived. A few months later he graduated, and I thankfully never saw him again.

#44

I knew him for almost seven years. Over time, he went through phases of liking every single girl in our friend group. By senior year of high school, he had moved on to me. Throughout that entire time, I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in dating at all.

The girls in our group saw him as a “nice guy” because he acted like he was the smartest person in the world. In reality, he treated us poorly and couldn’t understand why no one wanted to date him.

When I started dating my ex, he began kicking him under the lunch table, calling him names, and making jokes that made me uncomfortable. Eventually, he stopped being friends with me and told me that if I ever changed my mind, he’d be there.

After that, he started talking badly about me to anyone who would listen, claiming I had led him on. Although we were still in the same friend group, he treated me terribly, and we barely spoke.

Eventually, I realized the friend group was toxic for other reasons too, so I left. I later found out he believed I left because my ex was abusing me. No one questioned him. I was safe, they just wanted to make me a damsel who couldn’t be saved by him I guess.

They are all still friends so maybe he grew out of it.

#45

One experience, a guy took my business card and stalked me on Facebook begging to take me on a date and how he always stares at me while I worked. I deleted and ignored the message request. He then came in and came up to me saying I needed to reply and go out with him. I was in a relationship at the time and he said I was lying and if I knew what was good for me, I would be with him.. cops did nothing and neither did my boss. He said that’s what he gets for being a ‘nice guy’.

#46

Met a guy in college who I got along with really well. But I only ever saw him as a friend. One day he asks to go get coffee so we meet up at a coffee shop and he confesses his attraction to me.

I’m flattered but I let him down gently saying I just see him as a good friend.

He says he understands.

We continue chatting and I bring up my sister. He instantly asks if I think my sister would go out with him.

Like, dude…just. no.

#47

I went on two dates with a guy, and after the second politely told him that I wasn’t feeling anything romantically and didn’t want to continue seeing him.

I woke up to 9-10 long paragraph texts about how I was making a mistake, that he would’ve treated me well, most guys aren’t as great as he was, etc.

I spent maybe 5 hours total with this dude, including a movie.

#48

There is this guy that I referred to as creepy Paul. At first, he was just weird, he constantly tried to compare himself to Thor.

He had long blonde hair that he never washed and was not in shape at all. Which would not have been a problem, if he didn’t constantly body shame people over a size 6. By people, I mean women.

Paul firmly believed that I was there to be his girlfriend. He told me several times that everyone else was paired up, and that the girl that he liked was my friend and she must have brought me to replace her.

I don’t even know what that means or why he thought that. Most of the people at the game night were dating, Kai and I were the only two single women there. Then Kaylee started dating the other single guy there.

So maybe he thought we were all supposed to just pair up. I told multiple people, including Paul, that I had a girlfriend and she just did not like board games.

So I pretty much would just ignore Paul cause I really like the group.

One night, I went outside to play with the host dog, and Paul comes up behind me. He sticks his hand up my shirt and unhooked my bra.

Freak out. I run into the kitchen, I slammed the door, Paul follows after me, and he was yelling at me through the door.

I’m screaming at the top of my lungs telling him to get the f**k away from me.

My friend finally persuade me to open the door and I’m crying.

I get all my stuff and I’m leaving. Paul comes out from the house and we get into a huge screaming match on the driveway. My friend is yelling at him, people are asking what happened. I tell them that Paul unhooked my bra and said some gross things. I don’t even remember now.

Paul ends up telling me that he’s a nice guy and I should be so lucky that someone like him is interested in me… That I’m not hot enough to turn him down. That I’m a stuck up b***h. That he was doing me a favor by being interested in me.

Pretty much, he was a “nice guy“ and I’m just tempting him with my band shirts and baggy jeans.

I left, and I found out later that one of the other guys punched him in the face and told him to get the f**k out of the house and to never come back.

I did see him several months later and had a panic attack. He tried to come over and talk to me and told me that he forgave me.

#49

One was a famous “nice guy” in our uni. Never worried about him and just were polite barely talking to him, yet ended up being chased on my way to the toilet on uni party. glad my friend heard me screaming at him and came just in time.

Second was whining about how girls never appreciate nice guys and how sweet he is. then created 15 accounts on instagram and 4 in every messenger that i had after i blocked him, just to prove me wrong and to write me day and night till my other friend said that he’ll beat the s**t out of him if he won’t leave me alone.

In both cases i was saved by other guys that are ACTUALLY nice, and the thought of how men never stop until they’ll hear a threat from another men(often bigger/stronger than him) chases me because of it.

#50

A friend of a friend at a social hobby I was involved in had a crush on me. I am not good at recognising this or when people are flirting with me. A different friend clumsily tried to set us up. I was not interested because, to be completely honest, I didn’t find him at all attractive and I wasn’t looking to date. He started to message me on Facebook, telling me various things about himself and this included that he was trans. He passed extremely well, but I already noticed his forearm, it wasn’t relevant to me at all and didn’t change my view of him either way. I was supportive and assured him that a mutual friend who had made some jokey comments about not being a real man were absolutely about his lack of knowledge of war movies, and that the friend in question would absolutely respect his identity if he wasn’t too oblivious to be aware of it in the first place (and I was correct, he didn’t have the faintest idea that the guy was trans).

Guy asked me out and I explained that I wasn’t looking to date. He didn’t take it well, got all in a flap about how he couldn’t believe I was bi, that I wasn’t concerned about him being trans, and yet still wasn’t interested. As though this somehow meant he was qualified to date me and should be given a mandatory chance, but I was being obstructive or something.

Naturally, I eased away from that ‘friendship’ although we saw each other around, never discussed his trans identity with anyone as it wasn’t my business, and eventually – a long time later, like two years – ended up seeing my current partner from the same hobby group. They didn’t know each other well or anything, but the first guy then decided to blank me and sulk whenever he saw me, and would make snide comments to mutual friends at social gatherings.

It was such a textbook example of entitled Nice Guy behaviour and, IMO, is empirical proof that trans men are actual f*****g men.

(Disclaimer: Not all men, trans or otherwise, act like entitled pricks. Also, trans rights are human rights. Not interested in arguing the case on that.).

#51

I met this guy at work let’s call him P, everybody loved P because he was nice respectful, and good at his job. as we spent more time together at work I started to notice more good things about him, he’d stand up for anyone whenever someone criticizes them whether they are present or absent, I never noticed any lustful behavior from him even though I notice it in every man even when I don’t want to and he’s smart + good at EVERYTHING basically, one would say that he’s perfect. one day my old friend from high-school texted me and invited me over. she asked me “do you know a P” with a smug look on her face. and I found out that he’s been telling his friends that me and him are dating and that we stay up until sunrise texting and calling. and one of them happened to be my friend’s bf. the way she described the way her bf was talking about me was just gross (i’m sure she didn’t tell me everything because she mentioned that he said “may god cover her(my) sins.”
I ended up confronting him and he got all defensive, and turned the tables on me because “why did I believe them.” and he was like “you know how much I love you why would I do such thing??” mind you this was his first time confessing. (he asked me out before but not on a date and I rejected him each time)

I should’ve noticed the way he’d look at me to see my reaction after every “heroic” moment that he had. some people are just so good at keeping an act up, and they’ll analyze you to see what kind of behavior lights up a spark in your eye and they’ll keep using it to give you the illusion that they are ohh soo perfect.

#52

There was a man I was in a guild with in my hardcore World of Warcraft days who I developed a good friendship with. He seemed to be a genuinely good person, and our characters, along with a couple of others, had a really good storyline going. He also knew I was gay, he was one of the people who consoled me when I went through a really messy breakup with my then-girlfriend. 

It started with him wanting to do an in-character romance with me, which I declined. He got quiet for a while but seemed to bounce back so I didn’t really think about it too much. Then he DMed me a couple days later and asked me out out-of-game. I reiterated, firmly but politely, that I’m gay. Of course, he then accused me of leading him on, of being flirtatious with him, of just saying I was a lesbian for attention. Started harassing me to the point that I left the guild when they refused to ban him. 

I truly believed he was my friend, and it really hurt the way he turned around like that. As if our entire friendship wasn’t important if I wasn’t a romantic prospect. I should also emphasize we lived nowhere near each other IRL, so even if my orientation hadn’t been incompatible I wouldn’t have considered a relationship anyway. 

Part of me can’t imagine how people jump to conclusions like that. Then I see the way some guys talk to each other where every conversation is just lowkey bullying and wonder if that doesn’t have anything to do with it. Like their idea of how people communicate is so skewed that they mistake common courtesy for flirting. Even if that’s true, though, it doesn’t make that “nice guy” c**p ok. .

#53

Not my experience but my nonbinary lesbian friend went to hang out with our gay male friend at his off-campus apartment when we were all in college and he told them he could r**e and k**l them right then and there and no one would know. It was so out of nowhere and he was 100% just a nice guy who only showed interest in men before this.

We stopped hanging out with him after that.

#54

Had a guy follow me while I was drunk and try to get me in his truck ‘to make sure I got home safe’. I told him no thanks cuz I didn’t know him and didn’t want him knowing where I live. He yelled at me and said he’s being nice making sure I’m safe and that he’d get in his truck and follow me to make sure I got home safe . Mind you I had never met this man before. I told him I appreciate the concern but that he was making me uncomfortable. He proceeded to say he hopes something bad happens to me on my walk and that I’ll never find a nice guy because I reject them lol.

I’m so glad I was drunk for that conversation cuz wtf.

#55

Worst nice guy was a coworker, I was at a retail job. Super nice at first covered shifts for me got me snacks when I even didn’t ask for it. But then he got creepy, texting me about how I should date “good guys” like him. Waited by my car one night to “protect” me, ranted about girls ignoring him. I shut it down, but he kept messaging, calling me ungrateful. Had to switch shifts to avoid him.

#56

He opened the door for me, pulled out my chair, and then spent the next hour explaining how women don’t actually like nice guys, they just say they do to ruin lives. Truly an honor to be part of his origin story. Fml.

#57

Dude I met at my college’s computer lab while I was studying. I used to be in there at all hours of the night pulling all nighters and he would come over and study with me. I used to go get coffee from the near by McDonalds and he offered to come with me, which I agreed to. He purchased my cup for me and he was overall pretty nice and attractive so one day I agreed to go on a date to a 24/7 diner. After, we ended up walking through a dark park and I was kind of uncomfortable but I made it out.

One of these nights we were studying and he suggested we go back to his dorm room to study instead. He kept offering me some of his “adderall” which I politely declined. He wasn’t studying, he was laying on his bed, so after a bit I made an excuse to go back to my dorm room. He offered to walk me. On the way we made a plan to go to the movies but he wanted to make a deal that I HAD to drink… On the walk we were talking and playing around and somehow I ended up in an entirely too tight head lock. It was dark, we were alone, and I was in a head lock. He eventually released it and i continued on as if there was no problem. However, that was strike two and it was clear what he was trying to do with this movie “deal”. When I got back I blocked him and never spoke to him again. Stopped going there to study and avoided him any time I spotted him.

#58

Met someone through a friend, who we would then play cards against humanity with. Seemed nice and funny, one night he messaged me after our game.

Talked to him that one night about pretty much nothing (maths homework, school etc, I was barely 16. Edit: I’m pretty sure this dude was mid twenties when this happened, too). From what I remember I think he kept on calling me cute. He messages me the next day and I don’t reply. Proceeds to message me every day for like 3 weeks. Got creepy after 1 day.

He then calls me rude, messages my friends saying I’m a b***h, then when they stack up for me proceeds to say I’m a b***h who deserves to get r***d and m******d while everyone else watched, for simply not replying to him. He even said he’d “drink a beer to it” or something along those lines.

#59

Dated a “nice guy” for a 2 months, my friends kept calling him red flag. He would go off at the smallest slight he felt (which were often made up in his head), called me a a prude for not jumping into bed, and when I finally got round to dumping him, he kept ringing me yelling at me, and telling me he was a nice guy. I told him nice guys don’t gaslight women, to which he responded “with your views on nice guys, you will never find anyone in your lifetime”. Another “nice guy” when I was 18 controlled me, told me if I ever left him he would k**l himself after skull f%^*ing me, then kept crying when I finally did dump him saying “I’m a nice guy, I don’t deserve this, I only make you cut your nails, and to not wear make up because I am a decent man who just wants the best for you, because I know what’s best for women, and I know I am what’s best for you, and right now you are being a b%^*h”.

#60

A dude that was giving me compliments a few years back and I thanked him and we talked it was nice then he stalked me and went off like 300 messages flood and told me I was the worst person ever and that I shouldn’t be alive.

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