Siblings: can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. If you grew up with brothers and sisters, there’s a decent chance that you’ve hated them at some point during your life. Whether your brother was cutting the hair off your dolls or your sister was pulling your hair in the midst of a heated argument, it’s natural for sibling relationships to have ups and downs.
As we grow up, we often come to realize just how much we love our brothers and sisters. After all, they’re our flesh and blood! But unfortunately, that’s not the case for everyone. One woman reached out to Reddit to find out if she was wrong for finally putting her foot down and excluding her entitled sister from a vacation. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman planned a lovely beach getaway for Easter weekend
Image credits: Jonathan Gallegos (not the actual photo)
But her sister was offended when she found out that she wouldn’t be getting an invite
Image credits: engin akyurt (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LOQUESEAPLIS
Unfortunately, many parents show favoritism towards one child
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
If you’re a mother or father, you would probably be offended by the idea that some parents have a favorite child. How could they love one more than the others? Isn’t their heart big enough for all of them? Despite the fact that they would assure their little ones that they love each of them equally, a recent study would beg to differ.
In fact, researchers found that most families follow a similar pattern when it comes to showing favoritism. Moms and dads might show preferential treatment by spending more time with or more money on one kid. And often, it’s daughters who tend to be favored, by both their mother and father.
As you might expect, “agreeable or conscientious children tend to be favored” as well, Alex Jensen, one of the study’s authors, told HuffPost. It’s also common for the eldest child to be the most loved, often being given more freedom and autonomy from a young age.
Parents might also assume that eldest daughters are the easiest to raise, as they have a tendency to be particularly competent, which can lead to them being favored. However, Jensen points out that having a clear favorite in the household can impact everyone, especially their siblings.
He noted that the golden child will tend to “have better mental health, do better in school” and have better relationships with their family members. They’re also less likely to experiment with substance abuse, and they’re probably not going to be getting into much trouble at school or home.
On the other hand, kids who grow up feeling like they’ll never be loved as much as their siblings will often have lower self-esteem, may struggle with childhood anxiety and depression, and might even have behavioral issues, like engaging in risky behavior.
Growing up as the unfavored sibling can have life-long impacts
Image credits: Joshua Rawson-Harris (not the actual photo)
Of course, this can also take a toll on the relationships siblings have with one another. It’s hard to be best friends with your brother or sister if you’re bitter about how much better Mom and Dad treat them. Meanwhile, the favored child might be blissfully unaware of the preferential treatment they receive, confused about why their siblings envy them.
Ideally, all siblings would have healthy relationships with one another in adulthood. But according to Ilene Strauss Cohen, PhD, at Psychology Today, a great relationship can’t be formed unless both parties are on the same page.
First, Cohen notes that brothers and sisters must be able to embrace their differences. They can’t judge one another for not seeing eye to eye on everything, and no one should ever feel like they’re better than their sibling. Open communication is also key. The siblings should feel safe to share what’s on their minds without an argument erupting.
It’s important to focus on self-reflection as well. Notice your habits, and remember that you don’t have to always respond with your first impulse. There might be a healthier way to get your message across.
Establishing boundaries is another key factor, as agreeing to things that are outside of your comfort zone can be a slippery slope. And finally, always lead with empathy for your brothers and sisters.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman was right to exclude her sister from the Easter trip? Feel free to weigh in. And then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family dynamics right here.
Later, the author responded to a few comments and provided some more background information
Readers unanimously agreed that the woman had every right to exclude her sister
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