Dating isn’t exactly like riding a bike. If you’ve been in a committed relationship for the past decade, jumping back into the dating scene might be extremely daunting at first. Times are constantly changing, everyone seems to be on the apps these days, and the pick-up lines you used on your ex might not have the same ring to them anymore.
So it’s perfectly normal for anyone who’s going on their first date in years to have some questions about what’s to be expected. That’s why one man recently reached out to Reddit after his date asked him to pay for the babysitter she hired. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the advice readers shared.
This man wasn’t sure what would happen on his first date post-divorce
Image credits: Katerina Holmes/Pexels (not the actual photo)
But he certainly wasn’t expecting the woman to ask him to pay for her babysitter
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
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Dating as a single parent comes with unique challenges
Image credits: Josh Willink/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The majority of us are interested in finding love. Even if you have no desire to start a family, the idea of finding “the one” and having someone to snuggle up next to every night in bed may sound like a dream. But finding your perfect match might not be easy, and it may be even harder for you than it was for your parents or older siblings.
The Pew Research Center reported in 2020 that three quarters of Americans were finding it very or somewhat difficult to find people to date in the past year. And nearly half said that dating has become more challenging for the majority of people over the past decade.
So it’s no surprise that finding love can be even more complicated for single parents. Moms and dads will always be committed to putting their little ones first, but that doesn’t mean that they should completely give up on romance after going through a breakup or divorce.
Not everyone is positive about the future, though. A study conducted by the dating app Even found that a whopping 63% of single parents believe they’ve “never find love again.” And the reality is that dating as a parent can be tough.
One mom wrote a piece for Mamamia breaking down some of the most challenging aspects of dating post-divorce, and she noted that one of the biggest issues is just not having enough time.
Scheduling a date in her free time sometimes means missing out on quality time she could be spending with her kiddos. But it can be frustrating when it seems impossible to get one-on-one time with her partner, which can force the relationship to progress at an extremely slow pace.
It is the parent’s responsibility to pay for their children’s care while out on a date
Image credits: Tatiana Syrikova/Pexels (not the actual photo)
The mother also noted that relationships take a lot of effort to grow, and she never wanted to feel like she was taking on another job by simply trying to date. Plus, organizing dates between single parents requires a lot of logistical planning. All children have to be considered, as well as their other parents and perhaps even those parents’ new partners. This can make the mental load of dating much heavier.
Now, as far as whether or not single parents should ask their date to pay for their babysitter, the commenters on this father’s post seemed to unanimously agree. The mother’s children are her responsibility, and it should be her job to find (and pay for) care for them while she goes on a date.
Not to mention the fact that the father noted that he had already paid for the entire date. In this day and age, men shouldn’t be expected to pay for everything for their partner.
Plus, it might be seen as a red flag if someone expects their date to pay for the entire evening. Unfortunately, some people do enter relationships with money in mind. And it’s best to err on the side of caution if someone seems like they might be more interested in your wallet than your personality.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have responded to this mother’s request to pay for her babysitter? Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.
Readers assured the father that his date’s request was not normal, and many encouraged him not to see her again
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