“The Ring Needs To Be Changed”: Man Wants To Pick Engagement Ring By Himself, Fails Miserably

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An engagement ring is a massive deal for many. While it may symbolize love and/or status, it’s a shiny little keepsake that every woman would want to keep for the rest of their life. 

But is it the same case for an unattractive piece of jewelry? A woman encountered this problem when she received what she described as a “horrendous” and “impractical” ring from her fiancé

It saddened her so much that it drove her to tears as the couple realized a few new things about themselves. Read through the entire story and see how it plays out. 

A couple was nearly in shambles because of an unattractive engagement ring

Woman looking concerned, hand on forehead, reflecting on an engagement ring decision.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The woman described the heart-shaped piece of jewelry as “huge” and “gaudy”

Text discussing a woman's dislike for her engagement ring chosen by her fiancé.

Text discussing a man choosing an engagement ring by himself to surprise his fiancée.

Text discussing a man's choice of engagement ring with specific guidelines: no pink, blue sapphires, or diamonds.

Text about disliking an engagement ring intensely, expressing regret and discomfort with the choice.

Text critique of an engagement ring's large size, heart shape, and dark amber color.

Engagement ring choice criticized for lack of research and poor style match, causing disappointment and hurt feelings.

Text expressing difficulty in discussing the disliked engagement ring choice with a partner, showing relationship transparency.

Engaged woman seeks advice on changing engagement ring without upsetting her partner.

Text about a fiancé choosing an impractical engagement ring and seeking advice on discussing a change.

She shared a photo of it that confirmed her words

Heart-shaped engagement ring on a hand, illustrating a poorly chosen ring selection.

Image credits: anon

The author provided an update, saying she did speak to her husband and resolved the issue

Text update discussing the popularity of a post about an engagement ring and gratitude for helpful comments.

Text about needing to change an engagement ring due to impracticality and size issues.

Text excerpt about a man's emotional reaction to choosing the wrong engagement ring.

Emotional conversation about a massive engagement ring choice.

Text recounting a man's failed engagement ring choice, highlighting amber's delicacy and longevity concerns for durable rings.

Text from upset person about engagement ring choice without thought.

Text image discussing a man's choice of engagement ring, expressing regret and feeling overwhelmed during the selection process.

Text about a man recognizing poor taste in engagement jewelry and agreeing to choose a new ring together.

Image credits: anon

Healthy communication is a safeguard against resentment

The author’s biggest hurdle is communicating harsh sentiments to her husband without hurting him. At the same time, she avoids misinterpretation that may make her come off as shallow. 

Healthy communication is essential in every relationship. It deepens intimacy and, as licensed therapist Dr. Jaclyn Gulotta, LMHC, points out, prevents resentment and unhealthy conflict. 

In her article for Choosing Therapy, Dr. Gulotta explained how proper communication and openness may avert feelings of disconnect and lack of intimacy, which often leads to resentment and relationship burnout. 

At the same time, it can prevent unnecessary escalations of emotions and to avoid someone from blowing things out of proportion. 

“Avoidance or withdrawal can also occur when a person thinks their partner is unwilling to start or continue an interaction,” Dr. Gulotta wrote. 

Part of achieving healthy communication in a romantic relationship is having the occasional difficult conversation. However, many people avoid its abrasive nature, and understandably so. 

According to Maryland-based psychologist Dr. Helene Brenner, expressing what you want isn’t wrong. What matters most is when to say it. 

In an article for her website, Dr. Brenner emphasized the importance of dialogue and hearing what your partner has to say. Saying what you want then happens as a respectful response, not an “angry dismissal.” 

“If your goal is for them to hear what you feel, it’s a lot more likely to happen if they feel like you appreciate why it isn’t so simple,” Dr. Brenner wrote. 

Dr. Brenner also suggests lowering the “threat level” by showing empathy, especially toward someone defensive. As she notes, the person is likely avoiding the truth, especially if they are in the wrong. They will likely respond more positively if you make them feel safe and do not condemn them. 

Fortunately, the couple talked things through despite sharing a few tears. The woman expressed her feelings without insulting her husband, who owned up to his mistake. They handled the situation maturely without causing tension. 

The author replied to some comments as readers gave their honest reactions

Reddit discussion about awkward conversations involving a poorly chosen engagement ring.

Reddit comment giving advice on addressing an engagement ring that needs change.

Discussion about engagement ring selection mishap; user comments on picky jewelry preferences.

A Reddit conversation about a man picking an engagement ring and understanding his thought process.

Engagement ring discussion in a forum, debating a man's choice based on limited guidelines and existing jewelry style.

Discussion on engagement ring budget and preferences in a Reddit comment thread.

Reddit comment criticizing an engagement ring choice, mentioning Ringpops as a better option.

Engagement ring selection comment: "That has to be the ugliest ring I have ever seen.

Comment about a man's engagement ring choice, suggesting honesty about personal style.

Reddit comment about a man choosing an unpopular engagement ring, suggesting discussing traditional options with his fiancée.

Comment humorously criticizing an engagement ring choice.

Reddit comment criticizing a man's choice of an engagement ring, mentioning mood ring and communication issues.

Reddit comment criticizing an engagement ring choice, describing it as huge and gaudy.

Reddit comment criticizing an engagement ring choice, calling it ugly and impractical.

Reddit comment discussing a man picking an engagement ring, referencing a practical joke and a goodwill find.

Text screenshot discussing an engagement ring and poor taste in jewelry choices.

Comment criticizing a man for choosing an engagement ring that resembles a cheap prize, suggesting he failed in his choice.

Comment criticizing the engagement ring choice, comparing it to costume jewelry.

Text post humorously discussing a man's failed engagement ring choice.

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