While starting a family can be exciting, knowing that it’s complete can bring another kind of joy. However, when partners feel content with the size of their family, that often leaves them with another dilemma: how should they ensure that the number of their household members remains the same?
Since this woman had debilitating reactions to birth control and didn’t trust other methods, she thought that sterilization (either for her or her husband) would be perfect for their family. What she didn’t expect was that her husband would strongly object, forbidding her from going through with it.
Deciding that a family is complete entails finding reliable forms of contraception
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman thought that for her family, sterilization would be the perfect solution, but her husband strongly objected
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kimber_Rex22
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Permanent birth control isn’t a decision that should be taken lightly
When couples come to the decision that they don’t want any more children, the topic of permanent birth control tends to come up, particularly for opposite-sex couples. However, it’s not a decision that should be taken lightly. There are many things to consider, like, is it really the best option? Do they really want an irreversible solution? Which person should go through it?
For comparison, a vasectomy, a male permanent birth control, usually takes around 15 to 20 minutes, needs only local anesthesia, is minimally invasive, and takes less time to heal. Men can return to work 24 hours after the procedure and it costs between $0 and $1,000 depending on the person’s insurance policy.
Vasectomies are one of the most effective and safest forms of permanent birth control methods out there. It’s more than 99% effective at preventing pregnancy and most people don’t have any issues after the procedure. They can also be reversed, but it’s not guaranteed that the person will become fertile again. The chance of getting a partner pregnant after vasectomy reversal is between 30% and 90%.
Meanwhile, tubal ligation and bilateral salpingectomy, female forms of permanent birth control, are much more complicated processes. These procedures require the removal of both fallopian tubes, which calls for general anesthesia, and it can take 14 days to resume normal activities. The cost greatly varies depending on insurance and the type of the procedure. In some cases, it can reach the tens of thousands of dollars mark. The effectiveness of the procedure is lower than with vasectomies, with the failure rate being 0.6% after one year.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Any conversation around reproductive procedures can be strained depending on the couple
Even though spousal consent is no longer needed to go through with sterilization, it’s not something that should be done without a partner’s knowledge. Since both vasectomy and salpingectomy are lifelong commitments, they should be thoroughly discussed in a couple.
In general, men tend to be more apprehensive about having permanent birth control procedures, as around 10.3 million women (27%) rely on female sterilization, while 3.5 million men choose to undergo vasectomy. For women in the US, permanent birth control is the most popular form of contraception, while for men it’s condoms.
Since some men can feel apprehensive about permanent birth control methods, the conversation about it can be quite tense for some couples. Sophie Keramidopoulos, counseling manager at Marie Stopes Australia, says that any conversation around reproductive procedures can be strained depending on the couple. “Any decision about a procedure on a body is deeply personal and for each individual the reasons are different.”
She says it’s important to respect each other’s bodily integrity and make the decision without any coercion. If the couple has any issues when talking about permanent birth control, Keramidopoulos suggests finding other ways to have that conversation.
“My advice [for partners who are feeling frustrated] is to speak to their partner about why they are wanting to change the contraception they have been using and why them taking contraception themselves isn’t suitable anymore. [And] find out what their partner’s hesitation is.”
Something else that might help is getting educated about the procedures, like what they entail and what the recovery will look like. Usually, the hesitation stems from the unknown, so eliminating it can help have a more productive discussion. In case it’s necessary, reach out to professionals who can dispel any doubts or misconceptions.
The woman provided more information in the comments
Meanwhile, readers shared their opinions about how she was right about the whole thing
Later, the woman shared her first update
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kimber_Rex22
After it, readers continued to critique the husband
Then, the woman shared her second update
Image credits: Daniel Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kimber_Rex22
Under it, readers were applauding the way she’s handled everything
The post “AITAH For Sterilizing Myself Against My Partner’s Wishes?” first appeared on Bored Panda.
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