The number one rule of sending work-related emails is to remain professional. This ensures that workplace communication is clear and appropriate. However, email style can slightly vary depending on the individual who is writing the letter. For instance, women are usually more friendly and apologetic in their emails, while men tend to be more curt and direct.
Recently, fearing that she wasn’t being professional enough, this woman tried reversing the roles and adopted an email style that resembled her male coworkers. But to her surprise, her manager wasn’t happy with the way she was communicating and even called her rude.
Even in the most professional emails, employee’s personalities still shine through
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Fearing that she wasn’t being professional enough, this woman changed her email style, for which she was called rude
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Afraid_Respect_3189
Several studies have found that women email differently than men
Several studies have found that women email differently than men. They suggest that females are more likely to use exclamation marks in their emails, as well as apologetic language and phrases like ‘just,’ ‘I think,’ or ‘I feel.’ While men tend to be more confident, emotionally detached, and lighter on the exclamation points.
“Women tend to be more apologetic, saying sorry for requesting things that are perfectly reasonable to be asking. This could be a reflection of lower confidence or a representation of women feeling less sure of their professional position and authority,” career coach Hannah Salton told GLAMOUR.
“Women may also feel the need to people-please—using smiley faces and kisses to avoid confrontation and encourage the recipient to not think less of them if they are asking something of them. Both of these examples potentially demonstrate a lack of confidence and the writer worrying about offending the reader.”
Men are generally writing shorter and more direct emails because (stereotypically) they worry less about what others think of them, making them less concerned about their recipients and offending them.
Meanwhile, women’s style of communication can sometimes be seen as soft or amateurish, stopping people from taking women seriously. In fact, a 2006 study has found that women’s communication style tends to be described in negative terms. Their use of exclamation points is seen as ‘markers of excitability’—implying that they lack stability and are emotionally random.
Should women write emails like men?
So does this all mean that women should write like men? “I think it’s less about women needing to be more like men, or vice versa. What’s important here is both genders communicating via email in a clear, concise, and professional way. Without being rude or overly polite and apologetic,” Salton explained.
The goal here is to be more confident and to the point so everyone is saving time by not having to write or read all the ‘fluff.’ “The shorter the email, the easier you make it for the receiver of the email to actually take action upon the request,” added career coach Marnie Lemonik. “By making your request more simple, the core of what is actually needed can shine through more clearly.”
According to Salton, the best way to write an email is to be concise and clear and avoid apologizing unless it’s really necessary. “Aim to communicate similarly to how you would in real life. Would you say goodbye to a colleague after a meeting by imploring them to ‘stay safe?’ If not, no need to do this via email.”
However, this doesn’t mean that women have to drain all personality from their emails. There’s no need to give up friendliness or completely change the way a person crafts their emails. The most important thing is to know when to not overdo it so communication becomes more efficient and clear.
Readers applauded the woman for bringing up this issue with management
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