“Low Self-Esteem And Confidence”: 48 Biggest Regrets From People’s 20s

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Something that most of you have in common is either regretting the things you did or what you never found the courage or perseverance to follow through with. As you grow older, you tend to grow wiser, and you start recognizing the opportunities you missed, the habits you should have developed, and the relationships you should prioritize more in the future.

Though a ‘perfect’ life and avoiding mistakes is impossible, you can live with more intent and joy, no matter if you’re a teenager looking at college applications or freshly retired. The AskReddit community members recently opened up about their biggest regrets from their twenties, and it’s eye-opening regardless of your age or how (un)successful you might be. We’ve collected their top stories to share with you, so scroll down to check them out.

Bored Panda reached out to neuroscientist Nicole Avena, Ph.D., for her advice on what healthy habits young adults should pursue, as well as which ones they should steer clear of. Dr. Avena is the author of Sugarless: A 7-Step Plan to Uncover Hidden Sugars, Curb Your Cravings, and Conquer Your Addiction, and you’ll find the insights she shared with us below.

#1

Low self esteem and confidence, and the missed opportunities that entailed.

Image credits: InbhirNis

According to Dr. Avena, it is common for people in their twenties to have a ‘no regrets’ or ‘live life to the fullest’ mindset. “While it is important to fill your twenties with positive experiences and promote a stress-free lifestyle, it is also important to understand that the actions we take when we are young directly impact our future in terms of health and longevity,” she told Bored Panda via email.

“In order to make the most of your twenties, don’t forget to adopt healthy habits that will allow you to engage in positive experiences throughout your entire life. The biggest piece of advice that I can give would be to establish healthy eating habits now that will produce long-term, sustainable results later in life. For example, if you indulge in a bag of cookies and chips every single evening, you won’t see these impacts instantly; however, over time, excessive intake of ultra-processed foods can result in an abundance of negative health complications and contribute to overweight/obesity status,” Dr. Avena explained.

“Prevention of chronic disease really starts while we are young and shouldn’t be neglected. In general, it is recommended to avoid excessive amounts of sugar, sodium, saturated fat, and ultra-processed foods, and it is encouraged to consume fiber, lean protein sources, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and adequate water.”

#2

Not taking my education seriously to be honest.

Image credits: HandoCalrissian

#3

Thinking about stuff i want to do instead of doing stuff i was thinkin about.

Image credits: LollyButtercup

However, eating well isn’t enough. We also need to be physically active. “Obtaining a minimum of 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week is ideal for optimal health/wellness. Trust me, if you start these habits in your twenties, you will thank yourself when you are a standout in your forties.”

We were also curious about which bad habits were vital to stay away from. Dr. Avena was kind enough to shed some light on them. “Although some young adults feel that drinking alcohol late at night and engaging in partying activities are part of the whole ‘live your twenties with no regrets’ mindset, there are healthier habits to adopt that can promote long-term happiness and success, instead of temporary feelings of happiness and satisfaction.”

Anyone in their twenties should limit the intake of alcoholic beverages. They should refrain from using alcohol as a way to relax or to cope with stress or emotions. “With excessive alcohol intake, there is the risk of developing alcoholism and chronic diseases. Alcohol also provides the body with ’empty’ calories and can contribute to weight gain over time; therefore, it is best to consume alcohol only in moderation. It also sets you up to use alcohol as a crutch for your problems and stressors, which only get compounded as you get older.”

#4

Not finding exercise earlier .

Image credits: ElmolovesArchie

#5

Being in a committed relationship with someone I didn’t really like for most of it.

Image credits: hwhaleshark

#6

Not seeing more bands. I feel like concert tickets are getting more out of control with prices.

Image credits: Big-Adhesiveness3361

It’s not just alcohol that can affect young people in a negative way. Excess caffeine intake is also problematic. “Oftentimes, younger adults consume high amounts of caffeinated beverages as this time period in our lives (college, first job, etc.) can be filled with late hours, high stress, and limited sleep,” she told Bored Panda.

“Although caffeine can help to boost our energy levels temporarily, it is best to focus on healthy habits that will be beneficial long-term—such as consuming a nutritious diet, engaging in physical activity, getting adequate sleep at night, maintaining adequate hydration, and engaging in stress relief activities.”

If you’re interested in learning more about healthy living and eating, be sure to take a peek at Dr. Avena’s book, Sugarless: A 7-Step Plan to Uncover Hidden Sugars, Curb Your Cravings, and Conquer Your Addiction.

#7

Alcohol and the blackness it created in my memories….

Image credits: GratefulDCP

#8

I was lazy. I spent the better part of my early 20’s just chillin and having fun. That’s great and all, but I was also broke as hell ?.

Image credits: TazzzTM

#9

Not contributing to my 401(k).

Image credits: ConditionLopsided

CNN reports that you could live up to an additional 24 years if you incorporate eight healthy lifestyle choices at age 40. An unpublished study analyzing US veteran data found that picking up these habits at age 50 could prolong your life an additional 21 years, while starting at 60 can still net you nearly 18 additional years.

“There’s a 20-year period in which you can make these changes, whether you do it gradually or all at once. We also did an analysis to see if we eliminated people with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, stroke, cancer, and the like … Does it change the outcome? And it really didn’t,” she said. “So, if you start off with chronic diseases, making changes does still help,” Xuan-Mai Nguyen, the lead study author, a health science specialist for the Million Veteran Program at the VA Boston Healthcare System, says.

#10

Not saving any $$.

Image credits: pup5581

#11

Crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for me.

Image credits: thatwasmycupcake

#12

Not traveling more. Now I have more responsibilities, and it’s harder to go.

Image credits: dudutra

The habits themselves are nothing groundbreaking. The odds are that you’ve heard of them before: exercise, sleep well, foster positive relationships, reduce stress, eat a healthy diet, don’t smoke, don’t drink too much, and don’t become addicted to opioids. But it’s one thing to know something theoretically, it’s something else entirely to put it into action, consistently, as you get older.

Meanwhile, the Harvard Medical School suggests that if you want to take better care of your health, you can do a handful of small things every day. Incremental change is great. All the benefits quickly add up, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the start. In terms of healthy habits, you should consider doing morning stretches, staying hydrated, flossing your teeth for good oral health, and applying sunscreen to protect your skin.

#13

Staying at a dead end job cause I was too scared to pursued my dream career.

Image credits: mama2coco

#14

Being married to that loser.

Image credits: Hemenucha

#15

Not saving 10% of every paycheck.

Image credits: chimara57

Moreover, you should consider short naps in the afternoon to give your body and mind a break, eat more nuts instead of processed food, do small workouts throughout the day, be social, and try out new hobbies to constantly stay curious.

In our experience, these things work. For instance, drinking a big glass of water first thing after waking up and delaying your first cup of coffee for a couple of hours work wonders. In the meantime, there’s nothing like chatting with the people you genuinely love to energize you after a long day at work. And don’t even get us started on hobbies … we love to try new things, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to fit all of our ambitions!

#16

Low self esteem, low confidence, people pleasing, inability to say no, and not saving.

Image credits: iLikeTacosAndTequila

#17

This comment will probably get buried but I wish I spent more time taking risks and expecting failure. I was pretty risk averse in my 20s but looking back, even if I did 2 years failing and learning and 2 years at my 20s job (vs 4 years at my 20s job), I likely would have wound up in around the same place as I am now give or take, likely no worse but also likely better and with more experience of what I do and more importantly do not enjoy.

Image credits: JustHereToHangOut

#18

Taking advice from people whose lives I absolutely did not want.

Image credits: Ube_Ape

Hindsight is always 20/20. If there’s anything that we’ve learned in our lives it’s that living with more bravery and taking more (smart) risks is usually much better than living scared and passively. Being proactive is a wonderful attitude to develop, whether you’re talking about health and fitness, deepening your positive relationships, learning new skills, studying, investing, applying for a new job, travel, or anything else

Of course, there’s a fine line between bravery and recklessness, so do your research. Ask people for their advice. But at the end of the day, it falls to you and you alone to step outside your comfort zone and chase after your dreams. Nor can anyone choose your goals and ambitions for you: they’re very personal decisions.

#19

Focused on my career. Treated a lot of good women poorly. Avoided getting married. Continued this through my 30s. Now in my early 40s I care less about my career and more about being happy. Dating is absolutely horrible at this age. The good ones are taken.

Image credits: sharkdiver1982

#20

Waiting. I spent my ’20s waiting. I waited on family, on friends, on significant others, on finding a significant other, etc. Before I knew it, I was 30. Into my ’30s, I stopped waiting. If I want to do something or go somewhere? I go by myself. If we set a date and time, and you back out? I still go. By myself.

Image credits: petalpinkie

#21

Not investing in avocado toast futures.

Image credits: mav747

What are the biggest things you regret about your twenties, dear Pandas? On the flip side, what are the things you’re most proud of having achieved? What advice would you give someone who’s in their twenties to help them make the most of their life now? What tips do you wish you’d have gotten when you were younger?

How old are you right now and what are you doing to enjoy life to the fullest? What weird habits have you picked up over the years? We’d love to hear from you! Let us know in the comments below.

#22

Not getting away from my family I realized now they’re all abusive and toxic and don’t give a damn about anything but themselves. I should have left a long time ago what a waste of time.

Image credits: haseo8998

#23

Alcoholism.

Image credits: __darklink_

#24

Instead of putting more money into my 401(K), I enjoyed the extra money every paycheck and blew it on “nicer” clothing and top shelf alcohol while my friends drank bottom shelf and wore the same jeans for years. At 43, my best friend’s 401k is double mine and I would give anything to go back and be more responsible.

Image credits: DCmeetsLA

#25

Marrying the wrong person.

Image credits: Horror-Swimmer-1510

#26

Not taking more risks.

Image credits: lv-dg-pal

#27

Wasting time on men that weren’t any good for me.

Image credits: thatgermansnail

#28

I relied too much on other people’s opinions.

Image credits: Texas_sucks15

#29

Not traveling more and embracing adventures outside my comfort zone.

Image credits: CuriousKellyx

#30

That I didn’t start dating sooner. Started kinda late.

Image credits: Fearless_Ad5399

#31

Not spending enough time with my closest friends.

Image credits: Outrageous_chaos_420

#32

Not going to therapy and getting the mental stuff sorted out sooner!

So much time and suffering could have been avoided through correcting negative self-talk and healthy coping mechanisms.

Image credits: moofthedog

#33

Not telling more people off tbh.

Image credits: reacharound666

#34

Lifting with my back instead of my legs.

Image credits: 97Minutes

#35

Not saving my BTC….

Image credits: Notorious_Degen

#36

Drinking too much.

Image credits: Individual-Ant-8055

#37

Not getting into an exercise routine. Boy do I have terrible discipline.

Image credits: Burggs_

#38

Not going to college.

Image credits: –dee

#39

Not dating around enough.

Image credits: Known_Yesterday_1408

#40

Getting f-ing married to the biggest narcissist on the planet. I had very little experience and I fell for someone who took advantage of me. 20+ years later I’m alone bc he left me and I’m trying to start my life over.

Image credits: hippononymous_life

#41

Blowing all my money every paycheck and not investing.

Image credits: Fugglesmcgee

#42

Being in a situationship and getting so drunk every week to see him. I broke my own heart.

Image credits: Xxjcsxx_

#43

That I got married so young to someone not suitable.

Image credits: Best-camera4990

#44

Starting smoking weed ever. Don’t even try it once it’s a nasty habit and drastically alters your friend circles. You will lose a lot of friends.

Image credits: james-HIMself

#45

Not taking care of my teeth and not jumping into my current career earlier.

Image credits: Jhon_doe_smokes

#46

The DUI for sure. Thankfully I was pulled over and no one was hurt. That was my rock bottom. But I learned and grew from that so much. Easily my biggest regret, but it was the biggest blessing for me.

Image credits: Pm-me_your_bush

#47

When eating unhealthy foods during my 20’s and now I got diabetes. :(.

Image credits: CarolineSkyy

#48

I was mentally ill and refused help and lost 10 years of my life. I hid from the world & like a spectator i watched my friends & peers be young, go to college, date, travel, get married & start families while I repeated the same day for 10 years. Now it’s my turn. I’m in my 30’s and by some miracle (and extensive treatment) was able to recover my life and personality. And I’ll be damned if I waste another second brooding over what might have been.

“Throw some roses into the abyss and say here is my thanks to the monster that did not succeed in swallowing me alive.”

-Nietzsche.

Image credits: Mickmackal89

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