Of all the funny things kids say, their silly questions usually just take the cake. What should you do with a question like ‘Why do spiders run away when I fart?’ if not laugh at it? Admittedly, though, not all of the funny kids’ questions are hilarious in a ha-ha way, but rather baffling and confusing, evoking the only natural response to such nonsense – laughter. Still entertaining, but in a perplexing sort of way. And if your own kid’s funny questions aren’t enough for you or if you want to feel seen as being not the only one with a kid who has the most original ideas, this article is exactly right for you. Yup, this is our collection of the funny questions kids ask – do with it as you wish, but we can promise there will be laughter if you decide to read it!

You know what makes these questions truly hilarious? The fact that kids have no filter – they just go and ask about whatever pops into their minds. Add in the factor of childish naivete, and voila, you have a whole list of funny things kids say. And it seems that these funny kids never disappoint – from needing to know if rainbows are the food of plants to holding a firm belief that eyes don’t exist because you can’t see them, each question is funnier than the last!

So, the funny kids’ questions are just a bit further down, just where they are supposed to be. Once you are there, give your vote for the silly questions that tickled your funny bone and share this article with anyone who you think will find it relatable! 

#1

“Why does Santa give poor children such c***py presents? They should get the best ones.”

#2

“My little brother was in kindergarten and he’d never seen his teacher outside of school before. We bumped into her in the grocery store one evening and he yelled to me, ‘Who let her out?'”

#3

“My 8 year old cousin said to me, ‘Since there are microscopic germs inside us, what if we are just some microscopic germs inside an even larger animal?’ I was high at the time so it totally tripped me out.”

#4

“Why are you buying beer, Dad? Do you know how much candy we could get with that money?”

#5

“I was watching fireworks with my son sitting next to me. He calmly said, ‘The sound is slower than the lights.'”

#6

“My 5 year old after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: ‘Can you squeeze ‘Capri Suns’outta those things or just milk?'”

#7

“Why can’t I see my eyes?”

#8

“My 5 year old once told me, ‘Where are you going with your life, daddy?’ It hit me so hard I almost cried.”

#9

“My daughter asked me whether I realized that showers were just human sized sinks and this is why I don’t bother wasting my time talking to grownups.”

#10

“Not so much a question, but the other day when we were in the car my 2 year old said, ‘Guys, here’s the deal: I need a penguin for a magic trick.'”

#11

“We were all in the car together and little brother (maybe 7 years old) pipes up with, ‘How do we know we aren’t just characters in a book someone is reading?'”

#12

“Shopping at our local supermarket, my 3 year old (at the time) looks around, and suddenly asks, at the only volume he knows: ‘Daddy, are these all those stupid people?'”

#13

“I once heard a kid ask his mom, ‘Where does a circle end?'”

#14

“My niece asked me: ‘When I turn 4, what happens to my 3?'”

#15

“My 3 year old was walking out the front door without telling anyone. I saw him and asked where he thought he was going. He said: ‘I’m just going outside to look at the world,’ and kept on going.”

#16

“My 6 year old daughter asks, ‘If we stop thinking about someone, do they stop existing?'”

#17

“Mom… my belly hurts… am I pregnant?” – asked by 5-year-old boy.

#18

“My 3 year old daughter asked my extremely pregnant wife how the baby got the toys into her belly to play with. After explaining that he didn’t have any she ask, ‘Can I share some of my with him?'”

#19

“My 3 year old son just asked me, ‘Can you take me to the Vampire State Building?'”

#20

“Waiting to pay for groceries. My 5 year old: ‘Did the tooth fairy get my balloon from Albertson’s?'”

#21

“What is the name of the space between the bits that stick out on a comb?”

#22

“What did it feel like on your last day of being a child?”

#23

“A 10 year old once told me, ‘I don’t think there is a good or a bad. I think it’s all perception.'”

#24

“My son just asked me how I know his name. I’m not in the mood today.”

#25

“Daddy, does ‘blue’ look the same to everyone else as it does to me, or could my ‘blue’ be your ‘red?'”

#26

“Why do people smoke if they know it will kill them?” – my stepson.

#27

“As we were sitting at our table, I said ‘Why are we here, daddy?’ ‘Well, we’re here to have lunch!’, he replied. ‘No, no. Why are we here on this earth?'”

#28

This kid was about 6 years old: “If you open a window when it’s cold inside and warm outside, does warm air come in or does cold air go out?”

#29

“Why do spiders run away when I fart?”

#30

“When I was 4 years old, I asked my mom, ‘When Daddy was a little boy and you were a little girl, who were my parents?'”

#31

“Heard in my house today: ‘Dad why do old people always look so creepy? Is it because they are decaying?'”

#32

“My younger sister: ‘When I grow up, will I still be Hannah?'”

#33

“What happens if you throw a tomato at the sun?”

#34

“My little 5 year old brother asked me, ‘If the sun is on fire, why is there no smoke?'”

#35

“How do I know that I’m real and not just a dream of someone else?”

#36

“My 5 year old sister once came up to me, and out of the blue asked, ‘Is death just sleep? And going to heaven means you’re dreaming and going to the underworld means you’re having a nightmare?’ Never been more stumped in my life.”

#37

“Daddy, is everything made of atoms?”
“Yes honey, everything.”
“Even dreams and shadows?”
“Bedtime.”

#38

“My 4 year old son: ‘Why do we only live for a short time, but when we die, it’s forever?’ I did the best I could with that one. Wasn’t easy.”

#39

“If Santa was a pirate, does that mean all the presents he gives are stolen?”

#40

“If God is so big, why can’t I see him?”

#41

“Oh my God, why are you so obsessed with clothes?!” – my 6 years old, when I asked him to hurry up and get dressed for school.”

#42

“I teach swimming lessons. My favourite question has been: ‘When do we learn how to breathe underwater?'”

#43

“What would you do if you were born naked?”

#44

“Why did swear words get invented if we’re not allowed to say them?”

#45

“Is time real, or just measured on clocks?”

#46

“My little boy came home from school and said that they had been learning about Jesus and God, I seem to recall it was around Christmas time. I asked him if he believed in God. He replied ‘No, I just believe in myself.'”

#47

“3 year old daughter asks, ‘Why do you go to work if work makes you sad?’ I answered, ‘For you.'”

#48

“My 3 year old son asked recently, ‘Mom, why did you make me?'”

#49

“As I was driving my little cousin to and from school, he peers out the window and says, ‘How do we know that the car’s moving? How are we not sure that the world just moves around the car?’ I promptly pulled over so my head could blow up.”

#50

“When I was a child I went up to my aunt and said, ‘How thick are your human eyelids?'”

#51

“Did you know god can’t even kill ghosts? What’s up with that?”

#52

“My 4 year old brother: ‘Do people die like flowers do?'”

#53

“After hearing, “That’s what she said” from people over and over again my 9 year old niece asked, “Who is this girl everyone keeps talking about, and what did she say?” It was adorable.”

#54

“My 4 year old nephew looked out the window when we were driving cross country: ‘That’s my world out there, isn’t it?'”

#55

“My 4 year old once asked, ‘Daddy, if we have November, then when is yesvember?'”

#56

5 year old son: “Did Santa Claus live in the time of the dinosaurs?”

#57

“Is Daddy having a baby too?”

#58

“My kid asked what day it is so I told him Wednesday and he said, ‘I don’t agree with that.'”

#59

“On this day July 23, 2018, at approximately 6:45 am, my 4 year old bulldozed onto my bed until our foreheads touched and she asked, ‘Are you excited for Christmas?!’”

#60

“What are those? Is this the morning when we wake up? What’s a planet?” – asked all at once then he ran off and pretended to be a super hero.

#61

“Where do thoughts come from?”

#62

Out loud and in public: “What’s wrong with your face?”

#63

“Why is the sun following me?”

#64

“If God is so great then why won’t he let us talk to people in heaven?” – my 5 year old cousin to her very religious mother.

#65

“Why don’t they make vegetables tasty?”

#66

“Do women get their periods on weekends too?”

#67

“If you want a front row seat for a temper tantrum, my 3 year old just asked me for warm ice.”

#68

“My son just asked me when I was little if I had to stay inside for Covid.”

#69

“My 3 year old asked me if she could shave the window and it took me a couple minutes to figure out that she wanted to use squeegee.”

#70

“Why do I have two eyes if I only see one thing?”

#71

“If plants need rain and sun to grow, and rainbows are made of light and water, are rainbows plant food?”

#72

“When God was little, was the world small?”

#73

“My 6 year old cousin asked me, ‘What life was like in the olden days?’ I’m 24.”

#74

“Driving by a cemetery, my 4 year old son saw a couple of people with watering cans. He asked, ‘Dad, will your family grow back if you water them?'”

#75

Son: “Daddy, what is the first day?”
Me:” Sunday or Monday, depending on the calendar.”
Son: “No daddy, what is the first day?”
Me: “Ever? Oh. oh.”

#76

“What shape is your soul?”

#77

“My son asked me if the letter ‘W’ starts with ‘D’ and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

#78

“My nephew asked my grandma if she was a slave. I left the room.”

#79

“How did people make the first tools, if they didn’t have any tools?”

#80

“Britney Spears’s music video ‘I’m not a girl not yet a woman’ was on and my 4 year old little sister is singing along, then suddenly stops and asks me, ‘Well what is she then a boy?'”

#81

“Dad, why don’t fish get water in their eyes?”

#82

“6 am question from my 4 year old, ‘Mommy how deep is your brain?'”

#83

“Is cereal a soup?”

#84

“Do you think mermaid’s fingers prune from being in the water for so long?”

#85

While cookies are baking, “Are the cookies loading?”

#86

“Did ants invent the world’s first social network?”

#87

“Why do we have to be born young and grow old, why can’t we be born old and get young?”

#88

“Do boats ever have wheels?”

#89

“My 5 year old just asked me a couple of days ago: ‘Dad, why am I me? Why am I who I am?’ Then he comically slapped his hands up on either side of his head.”

#90

“While driving to the store, my daughter asked if we were inside the car’s stomach. What a terrifying way to see the world.”

#91

“My son just asked me why spiders don’t get stuck in their own webs, and now I’m questioning everything.”

#92

“Hey mom, what’s the difference between a landline and a real phone?”

#93

3 year old: “Do you know what pregnant means?”
Me: “What?”
3 year old: “It means you can’t bend over.”

#94

“Since your eyes are blue, does that mean you see everything in blue?”

#95

“Can you buy me a girlfriend for Christmas? Everyone else has one and I feel left out…” – my 9 year old cousin.

#96

“My son once asked me, ‘What does purple do?’
I have yet to come up with a reasonable answer.”

#97

“My 6 year old sister once said, ‘Wouldn’t it be cool if we had invisible eyes and we could see all the invisible things?’ I just thought how scary that would actually be.”

#98

“My little cousin asked me, ‘If we were in real life or if we were some kind of TV show?'”

#99

“My cousin asked me, ‘When the music plays, does the rhythm flow through our ears, and into our brains, and then do our brains have special parts that choose if we like the music or not?'”

#100

“When my son was 4 years old, he asked me, ‘What number is right before infinity?'”

#101

“How do birds whistle if they don’t have lips?”

#102

“Not especially deep, but my 3 year old used to ask, ‘What does my nose smell like?’, when she caught a whiff of something. Interesting perspective.”

#103

“Does real freedom exist or is it just an illusion?”

#104

“Why do some people make rubbish packed lunches? Why don’t they make them like you, mummy?”

#105

To a person with medical tape over their eye, “Are you a pirate?”

#106

“In the olden days, was everything black and white?”

#107

“Who’s the boss, Jesus or Santa?”

#108

“I know who God is, but who’s ‘God dammit?'”

#109

“I live in Florida where in the summer it will sometimes rain while still being sunny outside. My son was 3 years old at the time and asked, ‘Daddy, why is the sun crying?'”

#110

“Daddy? How is space made?”

#111

“I was lecturing my then 4 year old daughter for some transgression (don’t remember now what it was) when she looked at me thoughtfully and said, ‘You don’t know what I’m thinking in my head, do you?’ It was a little creepy.”

#112

“How will we know when it’s the future?”

#113

“My 5 year old neighbor was recently at my house and posed this question: ‘What do teenagers really think about?'”

#114

“Why humans don’t have tails?”

#115

“Kids are great if you like being asked at 6 am why doesn’t Moana get sand on her feet when she walks on the seafloor after the ocean splits.”

#116

“My son just asked why the ‘Death Star’ wasn’t called a ‘Shooting star’ and I honestly couldn’t answer him.”

#117

“My 3 year old just asked what kind of stuffed animal I am, and now I’m questioning everything.”

#118

“Why doesn’t the sky fall on us?”

#119

“Is God a person or a robot?”

#120

“Why can’t I see myself? How do I know if I am real or not if I can’t see myself?”

#121

5 year old son: “Dad, what are rats made of? Meat?”

#122

“My 5 year old son asked me earlier today if animals have belly buttons, and if not, then why… I will have to look into that one for him. What a great question!”

#123

“Why do I have to eat broccoli when Daddy doesn’t eat his?”

#124

“But why can’t we have lollipops/chocolate/beer for breakfast?”

#125

“Why do you need money to buy things?”

#126

“My kid asked why ‘I’m up for it’ and ‘I’m down for it’ have the same meaning and my attempt at an answer frustrated both of us.”

#127

“4 year old daughter just asked how mermaids go potty. I’m stumped as well. Any ideas?”

#128

“My 3 year old asked me if quesadillas grow on trees and I was just like, ‘Not yet, girl, but dream big. Dream big.'”

#129

“Can I drive the car?”

#130

“Why is it windy in the tree?”

#131

“My daughter asked me if cheese is a vegetable, so…yeah, she’s an optimist.”

#132

“What language do they speak in England?”, asked by a 14 year old boy in Kansas after I told him I was from England.

#133

“Is that lady fat or does she have a baby in her tummy?”, said very loudly next to the woman in question. She was most definitely not pregnant.

#134

“My 5 year old niece fell asleep on my stomach while lying on the floor, when I woke her up she asked, ‘I think I come out of your belly. Are you my mommy?'”

#135

“Do you have any ninja stars, or metal, or anything else you think would be appropriate for me to throw at my brother?”

#136

“My sister was on the bus with my mom next to a man with dreadlocks when she asked loud, ‘Mommy, is that a stranger?'”

#137

“Is it adults that like Justin Bieber? Because none of my friends like him.” – 14 year old.

#138

“If you were somebody else, would I still be me?”

#139

“What part of us thinks?” – 5 year old girl.

#140

“At the age of three, I asked my mom, ‘How much does our house weigh?'”

#141

“Just today my 3 year old niece asked me, ‘What does .com mean?'”

#142

“My 3 year old niece once asked me why people fall out of love.”

#143

“Where does the sun go when it is dark?”

#144

“Why do sheep and cows sleep standing up?”

#145

“How does Santa get in when there’s no chimney?”

#146

“Mummy, is there really a man in the moon?”

#147

“My 3 year old daughter asked me if I could grow sausages in the veggie garden.”

#148

“Are there more trees than buildings?”

#149

“What is faster? Fire or dust?”

#150

“Why don’t crabs have eyebrows?”

#151

“If we get rid of the cat can we get a dog?”

#152

“Checking out one day at a store, my 4 year old daughter looks at the cashier and (rather loudly) asks me, ‘Dad, is that a man or a woman?'”

#153

“My nephew asked me the other day if I play with my own poop. Am I missing something?”

#154

“I was taking a walk with my 5 year old nephew when he asked me, ‘How can we see the moon if it’s not in Earth?'”

#155

“Why did we used to be monkeys and why aren’t we still monkeys?”

#156

“Why does God let people die?”

#157

“If you go to heaven when you die, how come skellingtons live in graveyards?”

#158

“Why do I’ve to eat three times a day?”

#159

“Did you swallow the baby?”

#160

“How come your eyes are round?”

#161

“My 7 year old son” ‘Dad, when is the world going to end?'”

#162

“Can my doll eat your finger?”

#163

“My younger sister once asked my mother: ‘What color is God?'”

#164

“Does God sleep?”

#165

“Does God have a wand?”

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