Being a grown-up is not just about taking care of yourself; it’s also about considering how your actions affect the people around you. I like to think of it as juggling heavy dumbbells while riding a broken unicycle on a weak tightrope above a savage fire. Fun, right?
To learn which parts of this ‘performance’ people find the hardest, Redditor u/Frequent-Pilot5243 recently made a post on the platform, asking other users the following question: “What is an adult problem nobody prepared you for?” Turns out, a lot. From personal finance to relationships, continue scrolling to check out some of the most popular answers.
#1
Almost all of your friends wont be life long. No one really talks about how common it is to lose touch with people or grow apart. Most of your life will be spent either making new friends while losing old ones or being alone.
Image credits: Emotional_Tale1044
#2
Figuring out what makes you happy. Everyone keeps trying to get you to do things you’re good at, or that makes you money, but never to pursue what you enjoy
Image credits: eternalwanderer5
#3
$5K is a lot to owe, but not a lot to have.
Image credits: Upper-Job5130
#4
Having to make dinner every. F***ing. Day.
Image credits: EndlesslyUnfinished
#5
The more life you’ve lived, the faster time seems to go.
Image credits: FadedQuill
#6
Getting burnt out
Image credits: OddRumskie
#7
How damned tired you are all the time.
#8
How easy it is to feel stuck in a bad situation (job, relationship, etc) just because the cost and effort of getting out can seem daunting. And sometimes you just have to accept a figurative bowl full of shit because you can’t afford to blow up your life.
#9
Handling the decline and death of your parents
Image credits: Agave666
#10
You can stay up as late as you want. But you shouldn’t
Image credits: geek_fit
#11
How prevalent depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation is. At this point I think every adult has been through it at some point in their lives.
#12
Not having a lot of free-time or time by myself.
Image credits: detective_kiara
#13
Didn’t know that other adults have the emotional intelligence of teenagers and its almost impossible to deal with logically
#14
That people will actively work against their own interests and/or the interests of society.
Growing up, you look at well adjusted adults and think “wow, these people know what’s going on and will help us all get to a better place.” Now? You realize there are a bunch of really stupid folk out there.
#15
That once you are “stable” your life is fucking groundhog’s day. Every day is basically the same. Same person I already married, same house I already have and already decorated, same job every day, same foods over and over. Same damn shows and movies and songs… Boring and sometimes I have a crazy spell because I just can’t stand it… dysphoria sucks.
#16
Working full time, but still not being able to afford the basic necessities of life.
#17
This may just be because I’m on the spectrum but networking for jobs. My parents had the same jobs since I was born so I never saw them or anyone else look for one that wasn’t a temporary job for a college student so I didn’t know. I thought hard work would basically show employers I was worth hiring and despite burning myself out I still lost out to people with half my ability because they were more sociable was baffling to me for a long time.
#18
I’m close to 50. Would have been nice to be better prepared for some of the ways your body starts to change that don’t normally get talked about. For instance, your teeth will start to shift from the general aging of your gums
#19
Being asked why I’m single and have no kids like I’m some sort of alien.
Image credits: thefanhit
#20
One adult problem nobody prepared me for is how expensive everything is. I always thought that as an adult I would be able to afford the things I wanted, but it turns out that’s not always the case! I’ve had to learn how to budget and save up for the things I want, and it’s been a difficult process.
#21
How to handle existential crisis and the looming thought of my own death and the deaths of those around me.
#22
The intricacies of workplace politics.
#23
That turning down the radio, when you are lost in a neighborhood helps you see better.
#24
Finding purpose and dealing with childhood trauma.
#25
Insurance, taxes, retirement/pension stuff, and dealing with a passed family member.
#26
Not having a pre-defined goal once I was out of college. Growing up my goals were set for me: get through elementary school! then middle school! Then high school, and get into college and get a degree, then get a job, and then…? Vague “advance in your career, buy a house, find a spouse, have a kid or multiple, then retire.” At 22 I had no idea how to break that down more granularly. Until then the biggest choice I’d had to make was my college major – even my choice of school was mostly determined by scholarships and location! And then I had to find and choose a job all by myself! And then decide for myself when to leave it and find another! It was overwhelming.
#27
Adult life being basically a permanent to-do list that just keeps on getting bigger and bigger
#28
Without a support system, your mental illnesses alone can render you homeless.
#29
Being an adult feels extremely lonely
#30
Lack of purpose.
All your young life you are given purpose of passing exams and learning, then all of a sudden you are thrown into the world and told to find your own meaning.
#31
My parents worked full time jobs and our house was still clean, our laundry was clean, we had a full meal on the table every night. My mom did all that. My dad did all the stereotypical man role stuff like fixing and laboring but my mom kept that house running while she worked full time.
We have kids and full time jobs and a big house and I cannot keep up. I get a meal on the table every night because the children have to eat but the rest gets so out of hand SO fast. Today I said to my kids “we need to get this house cleaned up this evening when we get home,” and one said “we just did that yesterday.” Yeah dude, you’ve been busy living your best 7 year old life.
#32
Life is all about maintenance. Your body, your house, your relationships, everything requires constant never ending maintenance.
#33
Why the fuck does my back hurt all the fucking time and why does my nose and ears have hair ?
#34
How much you have to clean. Like you are always cleaning something. I hate it
#35
Having to care for yourself when you’re sick.
I was 19, roommate was away for the weekend, and I had the most awful stomach virus. Nobody around to help.
#36
Imposter syndrome. And then realizing that likely every expert or professional you’ve ever really trusted also probably has imposter syndrome and knows much less than you think they do. This became very apparent to me during the pandemic when I realized that our governments and our medical professionals don’t have all the answers and we’re all just figuring things out as we go.
#37
You can clearly see the systems that are in place to prevent you from advancing, but they’re effective in preventing you from advancing.
#38
Being 60 years old and still having to deal with people that act we’re still in high school. I can’t stand back biting and temper tantrums, and it seems even worse from 50 and 60 year olds. It’s embarrassing and I thought it would end, but apparently drama never ends
#39
Depression as an adult, at least as a kid you get healthy amounts of attention and love, and as a teenager you get to have a group of people to spend time and look away.
Being on your own in that abyss really is something I could have never envisioned
#40
I’ll say this: as a kid you think adults have it all together. Turns out we are just winging it.
#41
The kitchen is always dirty. You’ll clean it at least three times every day.
#42
How to fight with a partner. I just shut down because I don’t know how to handle it.
#43
How did I never notice that there was dust fucking everywhere? I swear to go I turn around from dusting and there’s more dust. I can’t keep up with our house. We are 2 adults and a dog. Dining room is in constant disarray because that’s where we let the dog go outside. Amazon packages pile up. why am I so fucking tired? We sre 26 and 32.
#44
Planning meals. It’s such a chore to feed yourself every day, planning your meals, budgeting meals, and making sure you like it and don’t get sick of the same meal because it was tasty and easy to make
#45
The rising cost of living
#46
You may have heard from your older relatives that when you get older, itll be your turn to take care of them. You never really understand just how much it takes until you’re in that position.
#47
Getting sick is too expensive.
#48
Even when you live alone, and grocery shop on a regular basis, there will never be anything you feel like eating.
#49
I was unprepared for how much taxes reduce your retirment. We spend roughly $1000.00/ monthly between taxes and insurance, just to own stuff we already paid for. You will NEVER live anywhere free. Our system is designed against it…
#50
That I can horrifically fuck my neck up just by sleeping at a funny angle
#51
My dad killed himself 3 days after my 31st birthday. And I still had to wake up and be a mother and a functional human being. Still have to.
There is no preparing for that.
#52
As a kid, I was taught, if you work hard, you can buy a house and move out once you’re 18. I wish I could tell little me that isn’t gonna happen anytime soon haha
#53
Why do so many things require different kinds of soap?
Shampoo = hair soap
Body wash = body soap
Toothpaste = tooth soap
Laundry detergent = clothes soap
Dishwasher = special soap
Washing dishes by hand = another special soap
Mopping = floor soap
Carpet cleaner = carpet soap
Washing my car = car soap
I AM ALWAYS BUYING SOAP.
#54
Feeling like I’ve already seen every plot known to man and so movies are very predictable and not as enjoyable as they were when I was younger.
#55
Nobody loving me
#56
You are held to account for bad behaviour for which you are negligent even if you had no intention to cause harm. As a lawyer, I see this all the time. People don’t think they’re responsible for mistakes. You are.
#57
Daughter with behavioral and mental issues. Then she got pregnant at 16. It was a roller coaster ride…very trying and about kicked my ass.
My husband had esophageal cancer and then 9 years later had 14 brain lesions. Both times his survival rate was low, but he’s still here.
Feel like I’ve been in survival mode for years and years. I’m kinda tired now.
#58
Aging parents
#59
That you spend most of your waking hours on activities you’d rather not be doing (work, chores, commuting, etc.)
#60
That your parents, if they live long enough will look to you to be the adult in the room.
#61
Your first bad medical news.
#62
Birthdays will stop being fun and are gonna be a constant reminder that some day you’ll get very old and then die…
#63
Having to figure out what to eat and what to feed yourself, 3 times a day??
#64
Cheese is so expensive
#65
Basic car maintenance.
#66
Chin hairs. They are an obsession. I tweeze them in a magnifying mirror several times a day. NOBODY told me females would have to deal with this. I feel like the bearded lady some days!
#67
That no one gives a shit how smart you are.
As a kid, everyone makes it sound like you’re set for life if you’re smart. No. You’re set for life if you have a good work ethic, know how to stay motivated, and are fairly smart. That’s when you make shit happen.
Being too smart too early can actually impede you. I didn’t figure this out completely until I was almost 30. And now, at 34, I’m just starting to really hit my stride.
My whole childhood, through highschool and even most of college, I could do no studying and still get As and Bs. And everyone told me how I was going to be so successful and it was so great that I was so smart. But I never had to work hard so I never learned to.
And guess what? Companies looking to hire you DO NOT GAF if you’re smart. They care that you can do the job and do the job well and have the potential to grow.
#68
Having to work 5 days a week. Who the fuck made this the norm. We need a 4 day week
#69
I thought for a long time that 65 was a magic age–you could stop working, and get a LOT of money, that you had never saved. Like the government just gave it to you. Of course Social Security is like that, except for the “LOT” part.
#70
Shitty mental health and constant existential crisis
#71
Hemorrhoids
#72
Where did all my friends go?
#73
Being judged for what I do with my hard earned adult money. Also the feeling of walking in a room and being seen as THE adult. My mind isn’t prepared to be the one w the answers.
#74
Rent
#75
Should I fill the gas up now on my way home, or tomorrow in my way in?
#76
I was not prepared to have this much hair in places I do not wish to have hair.
#77
Weight gain.
#78
Being without your Parents
#79
Losing/Making friends after you’ve outgrown the bar scene.
Also, the amount of friends you lose after getting married was a shocker, too. They just stop inviting you out or even over to their houses.
#80
Being able to do so many things because I’m an adult but too tired to do any of them.
#81
Paying sales tax when you buy a vehicle and then subsequently having to pay property tax on the same vehicle each year.
#82
Your bills are wrong. Someone counted wrong or forgot to file a form and now you must pay hundreds of euro extra for electricity unless you get on the phone and argue with a stranger before 5pm today.
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