We all hold some unpopular opinions and have done some things we’re not proud of. We keep them to ourselves because we’re afraid of being judged, shamed, and ridiculed. Fortunately, the Confession Bear is here to lend us a helping and healing paw. The well-known meme format helps people share their secrets while staying anonymous, and Bored Panda has collected some of the best new confessions.

Remember to upvote the confessions that you related to the most and, when you’re done, check out our previous post about Confession Bear posts right here. Do you have anything that you want to get off your chest? Share your thoughts in the comment section (in bear form if you want) because bottling everything up isn’t good for your health.

Know Your Meme’s Senior Editor and expert in all things related to memes, Matt Schimkowitz, told Bored Panda that the Confession Bear arose at a time in meme culture when Advice Animals were everywhere. “In very much the same way that people look for unique reaction images today, back then, people wanted advice animals,” he said. Read on for the rest of Matt’s insights into the iconic Confession Bear, the reasons for the meme’s popularity, as well as its staying power.

#1 Confession Bear

Image credits: MadMadMadITellYou

#2 A Dire Confession, I Know

Image credits: ADisturbinglyAttractiveCactus

#3 There Are Nice Karens

I’m a nice person and my name has become an embarrassment.

Image credits: badlittlered

The Confession Bear format was born in June 2012 when redditor F-18Bro wanted to confess a lot of weird stuff anonymously. Their post went viral and the friendly-looking Malayan sun bear leaning against a log was forever cemented in meme history. It has even become the focus of scientific studies.

According to Matt from Know Your Meme, people related to the Confession Bear because it had such an original look. “It was also the same year that the secret sharing app/website Whisper launched. I guess secrets and confessions were in the zeitgeist,” Matt pondered about why the bear became so popular on the internet at the time.

“I think animals just have more staying power than other memes,” Matt explained why the Confession Bear meme is still in use to this very day. “Maybe people get tired of people’s faces or seeing the same memes. But when it comes to animals, I think people find them more endearing and therefore they endure. I mean the bear is very cute and sad!”

#4 .

Anti-maskers.

Conspiracy theorists.

Karen’s and Kyle’s.

Hold your [friggin] opinion. Put the piece of GD fabric over your mouth (and no, not mesh you absolute imbecile) and wash your dirty little hands. It is LITERALLY the simplest task we could do to protect someone other than ourselves.

EVEN IF this whole thing is “a hoax” (it’s not. I’ve seen it, and may God save your idiotic soul), we were mildly inconvenienced for a short duration of our life.

Smarten up

Image credits: oldfishnewfish

#5 Loneliness

Image credits: LordFlippy

#6 They Really Are Kinda Cute Though

Image credits: Anamethatwasavailablegiraffe

The Confession Bear had some spin-off relatives, including the Confession Tiger (who was very jealous of the ever-popular bear) and the Confession Kid. However, the bear proved to be the most enduring and people are still asking for its help to share their peculiar secrets 8+ years later.

Confessing secrets and opening up can have very powerful positive effects on your physical and mental health, as well as improve your relationships with others. For instance, one study found that self-disclosure on Facebook helped students cope with stress.

Meanwhile, other researchers explain that keeping secrets (especially in close relationships) leads to increased stress and anxiety. We tend to obsess and constantly think about secrets and it drains us. Letting go is freeing in more ways than one.

#7 This Is Why I Hate Laundry Day

Image credits: RogerClots

#8 Yes I Chose The Cat

Long time friend, suffers with bi-polar and had been a s**t all evening. Salem ‘adopted’ us about 5 months ago as a kitten. It’s taken a lot of work to socialise him with the dog and other cats. Very brave, very placid but is used to scrounging for food. Friend was drunk and raiding the kitchen and took exception to Salem trying for crumbs and generally being annoying. (He will leave you alone if you are stern with him). Started yelling and throwing things at cat. I said I think he should leave. Asked ‘So it’s me or the cat?’ Said ‘Yes, I choose the cat’.
He left and txt me all cats are evil.
Salem has come a long way and he is a good kitty. Doesn’t bite, not aggressive, just used to fighting for food.
I choose the cat, sorry not sorry.

#9 The Plutocracy Is Born

I do better than a large portion of the country. I still get bent over. I know people making less than me get bent over even further. Then we get lectured by these pigs about the ethics of “Hard Work” and “doing whats right for the country” while they rail us from behind. It’s disgusting… I don’t know what to think anymore…. But the IRS can go shove it up their a**es.

Image credits: ItsThatTimeOfTheDayAgain

On the flip side, sharing secrets in a non-judgmental environment reduces stress and helps individuals actively deal with their issues. Writing down a secret for yourself to keep, sharing it anonymously online, or telling it to the people closest to you can all be great ways to deal with inner turmoil and to get a different perspective on what’s eating you up inside.

It might be something small like actually enjoying Nickelback’s music (I’m guilty of this) or something much more personal, but sharing secrets with others increases trust and reduces the burdens on our minds and emotions. So if you’re feeling like you’re overwhelmed with secrets, ask the Confession Bear to help you voice it all online. The bear’s there for a reason.

#10 Worst Employer Award Of The Year Goes To Mine. I Don’t Regret It. Love You Grandpa.

My grandfather served in the Korean War in the Army. He was such a light in my life, finding it hard to move on. My best friend and my fishing buddy. Bye Grandpa.

The universe had something totally better planned for me. Higher paying job with peeps I know & a kick ass manager. I told my manager at the other job that it was their mistake letting me go, but it wasn’t. It was my mistake choosing a sleazy company to work for. Moral of the story, choose your employers wisely. Very wisely.

Image credits: Impatience

#11 Good Times

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#12 Mixer Solutions?

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#13 Bride Confession.

People keep asking me what I’m most looking forward to about my wedding, and I think they’re expecting me to say “walking down the aisle” or “the first dance” or something romantic, but honestly the main thing I’m excited about is coming home from our honeymoon and life going back to normal.

Image credits: potential816

#14 This Is What I Get For Teaching Them About The Rebellions That Happened Throughout History

They’re in 8th grade and I had them write a children’s book based on their history textbook. I already extended the deadline by a week, so I could not be more disappointed in them right now.

Image credits: 008732

#15 Lost In Fog.

At first I felt like [crap]. Then I thought that maybe it meant that I was finally ready to start living again.

Image credits: UserNameIsTakenDamn

#16 To Be Honest…

I wouldn’t describe myself as an introvert but I really appreciate being at home playing videogames or watching movies/TV shows all day and not having to leave the house for anything besides grocery shopping once a week, so these last few weeks have been great for me, I even got to work from home, a thing that would never have been possible before. Now I have become so comfortable with the whole ‘social-distancing’/’self-quarantine’ thing that I am afraid of the day when I’ll have to go back to the office and restart my social life outside of my home.

Image credits: SanchoLibre

#17 The Name Dies With Me

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#18 Military Confession

I appreciate that people are thankful for the men and women who serve, but when I’m at the store after work I really just want to get my things and leave. I can’t be the only one who feels like this.

Image credits: TheTattooedMoose

#19 Now I Have To Find A Solution For My Fries…..

Image credits: Addicted2Groove

#20 Not Sure What To Feel Anymore

Need to vent a bit. I have been a police officer for a little over 5 years now. Got promoted to Sergeant a year ago because I didn’t like how some of the supervisors were treating officers and I wanted to start making change from the inside. My agency has always been a gold standard in how to police. I stress being respectful to the people we come in contact with my mantra is that just because they did a bad thing does not make them a bad person. Whenever we have issues with officers the charging paperwork is immediately started and the proper consequences follow, including termination. Lately the media has made me unbelievably morose to be at work. It makes me not want to go out in public or see my family for fear they will bring up the bad cops they see on tv. My whole career I have never had a single complaint and have always been a good officer. But s***s getting tough out here. The public don’t care if I saved a child’s life. They see some bad cop from across the country and want me dead or think I’m a huge piece of s**t. I love this job and I love helping people, but I honestly feel like if I could find another job making this kind of money to support my family I would take it, and that makes me incredibly sad.

Image credits: blueenforcer

#21 Heroes

Getting very sick of the “heroes work here” messages plastered all around my hospital. I know it’s well-intentioned, but it feels impersonal and like the public is saying it to relieve guilt. The COVID crisis should not be as bad as it currently is in the supposed “best healthcare system in the world”. I am no more of a hero now than I have been for going to work for the past five years taking care of people with infectious diseases. Why are we being celebrated now? Because we’re going to work in unsafe conditions? Because we as a country can’t get our [crap] together enough to obtain enough N-95s to prevent workers from dying unnecessarily?

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#22 I Know I’m A [Crappy] Person For Feeling This Way

I feel crappy for seeing parents who have a lot of kids and are complaining about their problems, and thinking they shouldn’t have had so many kids in that case.

I have sympathy for the kids, but not these parents.

Image credits: AoShin

#23 Learning Experience: Tldr Drugs Suck

As some of you will find out, I recently got out of a PTSD/Substance Abuse program at the VA for Veterans. I befriended someone who I thought was ready and willing to change like I was. I spoke it over with my then Fiancée and we both agreed we could open up our home and help a fellow veteran in need. We all agreed that come the 26th, he’s gone. No matter what.

We left for vacation 22 Sept and would return 26 sept. This gave him an opportunity to get everything he needs In order so he can move into Veteran Housing.

We come home married and find our house smelling like Bigfoot’s d**k, smeared in a prostitutes taint, in Afghanny 140 degree heat on the 26th. We get him ready to leave and he says all homeless homes are full. (I recently got off the phone with 2 homeless housing programs and I have his name on reserve). He packs 3 days worth of clothing. (Wife and I purchased 50$ worth of thrift store clothing for him as well as a bicycle for 10$) we drive him to the VA and drop him off.

We come back home and I start cleaning… empty meth bags, heroin resin and cocaine. We had put up a camera and we checked, he had multiple people over while we were gone and did copious amounts of drugs.

I accept what happens as a loss and my wife and I has tried to help out a fellow veteran.

Come this morning; wife left for work at 6am (firefighter) and my door knocks at 630. “Give me my [crap]” is yelled at me as I’m still trying to get the eye boogies out of my eyes and taste my morning coffee. It’s him. Demanding his stuff. I giggle and tell him to go away, that he burned this bridge and we won’t help him any more. I tell him I’ll grab his Hep C meds and other necessities, put them in a bag and he can go get f***ed. I give him the bag as I’m half naked on my front porch and he swings for me. (Every combat veterans dream has just come true in this exact moment, someone has come at them violently.) I drop my coffee and punch him as hard as I can in the face, he goes down. I call 911 and they arrive. I tell them the situation and they take him away. After a few questions they leave. I go inside and call my now wife and explain to her the situation. She wished I had not used violence but is thankful I protected our home. Now I have the rest of the day to process.

Image credits: TheDornSupremacy

#24 Teachers Don’t Get Enough Credit

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#25 Number One Genie Wish. Plz

We had separated in the past for about two years. Everything seemed to be going well after we got back together.

Honestly I just want to not exist.

I am so heart broken for the second time in my marriage. God. I am a wreck right now

Image credits: JustValhallaTips

#26 Future Me?

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#27 Anything To Not Think About My Own Life…

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#28 Customer For Life.

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#29 Should I Tell Her?

I made a joke that she can come be my private teacher now, but I guess she took me seriously? She’s been stopping by most nights after class to talk/hang out.

I’m not sure if I’m being mean lying to her but it seems to make her happy so I guess I’ll play along for now.

Image credits: ForeverPast

#30 Should Probably Be A Burner Account

I gave them her fb info which was public where she posted all her trips. I saw later she posted that they contacted her and cut her off. Was a petty thing to do but I was young and a prick

Image credits: StoopidStoner

#31 My Husband Is The Mvp

Had neck surgery last week and having a lot of difficult recovering. I hate asking for help. I need to reach out a lot more. My husband’s been above and beyond at my side since I woke up from surgery, but need to make ends meet and he’s been snow plowing on top of his job while trying to take care of me. It’s been snowing the last few days and he’s been so busy. When he comes home he still has to take care of me after, what the heck. He’s doing his best and I can’t thank him enough. Doing all the stupid little things that I ask for, helping me a thousand times until dawn to find the right position to sleep in, setting me up with whatever I need while he’s gone. It’s tough having someone take care of you and not feeling like a huge burden. I just want to be able to take care of myself so he can worry about himself. He’s such a good, good man. Just needed to vent a little to this community, thanks.

Image credits: Sevendevils777

#32 I’m Mortified

Happened three days ago and I’m avoiding work still. A lady came in with super curly, thick hair. Wanted highlights and a pixie with a cute fringe. Showed me a picture. I felt confident because I love working with curls and haircutting is my favorite. Nailed the color. Began working on the cut. Of course her hair freaked out a little. She said, “We are gonna have to cut the sides shorter.” I said “Like boy short?” She said yes and said to use clippers. So I did. I didn’t realize how bad I had screwed the overall cut until I started to try to blend the top with the sides. Then my mouth went dry and my blood ran cold. I didn’t charge her a penny and she couldn’t have been sweeter about it but we both knew I messed up….and bad. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve never screwed up this bad even when I was in hair school.

Image credits: MadEthel

#33 .

When I got accepted into law school, I felt “blessed” and I felt that I needed to learn more about Islam and the Quran to serve Allah better as a good Muslim and a good citizen. I grew up in Afghanistan until I was 13. During the Taliban, I learned to read the Quran at school and at the local mosque, but we were never taught the meaning of the Quran. So, when I stared learning the meaning of the Quran here in the US, I started to question it. I started learning about other religions and ended up reading the Bible and learning about Christianity and Judaism as well. The more I learned about religion, the more questions I had. I have read books on both sides of the arguments for and against religion, I have watched lectures and debates and I have spoken to priests and mullahs. I have also read Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. Also, evolution is apparently a thing that religion loves to hate. I was actually disappointed that I arrived at nothing at the end of it all. I concluded that religion is man-made and there’s as much proof for God’s existence as there is for a unicorn or a teapot in the sky as Richard Dawkins likes to put it. My family and relatives are devout Muslims and I know that many would be disappointed, to say the least, when and if they find out I have turned away from Islam. For a Muslim to become an atheist is the biggest step that you can take in your life. It is a decision that will arguably alter the rest of your life. I could lose many or all of your family and relatives. If i was still living in Afghanistan, the punishment without question would have been death. I know that i will lose many loved ones, but i honestly don’t know how long more i can pretend and keep it to myself. End of rant. Thank you for reading my story.

Image credits: Entbarrister2021

#34 Am I A Bad Person?

With the latest trend of kids being sent to ask for baseballs caught by adults at games, I wouldn’t give it up. It’s always been a dream of mine to catch a game ball, and although I’m a grown man, my inner child wants nothing more then a game ball I caught to be on my mantle. People argue that it would fulfill a kids dream, but they didn’t earn anything so I think it sets a bad example. It’s today’s “participation trophy” for a kid just pressuring someone for something they didn’t actually earn.

Image credits: DefinitlyNotAnAI

#35 Fml

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#36 Confession

I’m on a social media site for people trying to stay sober and my gf made several fake accounts to catfish me. After I reported each profile for misuse of the site, she confessed to me. She thought it was funny and couldn’t understand why I was upset.

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#37 In This Modern Day Of Empowered Females…

I suppose the biggest thing is that he voices appreciation for my love and loyalty and cares enough to reciprocate them. In the very least, not abuse them.

Any time I mention feeling this way to other people in relationships I seem to get a “reality check” in some way shape or form about how I should empower and assert myself more, and look out for manipulative/abusive behavior, etc. etc.

Am I the only devoted spouse out here who is empowered by empowering and idolizing her spouse? Feels like it’s a sin nowadays.

Image credits: HubsGiggs

#38 Even Though My Life Is Seemingly Perfect

Though I’d never abandon my family, from time to time I entertain the fantasy of having freedom again.

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#39 Confession Bear

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#40 It Was Mercy, After Years Of Alzheimer’s And A Lifetime Of Smoking Leading Up To A Single Night Of Sickness, She Was Past Her Time…

I don’t feel as bad as I think I should. Hopefully I’m just finding peace in the fact that she’s not suffering anymore. She couldn’t even walk to the bathroom without pain. Went to sleep in her chair in the living room last night, because she was too weak to get up (a common occurrence) and never woke up.

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#41 *cough*

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#42 Lonely Or Crazy?

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#43 I’m Terrified It’s Going To Get Worse

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#44 Coworkers Are The Best

One year in a new city by myself, still no friends, but on the plus side I’ve gained 10 lbs by filling my emptyness with pizza and tacos…lol. Does my coworkers’ confession count for confession bear? I mean at least she’s being honest

Image credits: notsurprisinglyunconvinced

#45 Feeling Guilty Confession Bear

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#46 This Is My Way To Vent… Sorry

I’m not that girl that would get hit on in a party, I’m not very pretty or anything, and I’m a lot to handle, I’m loud and awkward and I accidentally say the dumbest things when I’m feeling uncomfortable.

I hate it that I don’t let myself feel anything because of the fear of getting hurt, I feel like I dont deserve to be loved by anyone.

I have many friends who I love, and when I’m not in a dark place I know they love me back.

So why can’t I believe that someone can love me romantically? Why can’t I believe that someone have a crush on me?

Image credits: SpaceCupcakeBloop

#47 Everyone Gets A Turn

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#48 Goodfellas And Once Upon A Time In America Are Lined Up So Far

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#49 I Know It’s Sad But Still

Recently had all my money stolen from out of my account. Bank is working on refunding me all the cash, but in the mean time i need to try and find as much loose change as possible to buy food

Went to the supermarket and bought some milk and things, came up 70 cents short

I asked the attendant if she could unscan one of the items for me but she just shrugged and gave me the rest of the money i needed

I know it’s only small but i wish her all the best

Image credits: Apocallama

#50 The Trouble Is, You Think You Have Time

During the installation process I got a text saying that Kobe Bryant, his daughter had died in a helicopter crash. Needless to say, my Dad and I were both shocked and lost for words. Eventually we continued our work and finished the install. The water heater worked amazing. Afterwards, we got Jimmy John sandwiches and attempted to work on a crossword together. As the day wrapped up and my dad was about to leave he told me how happy he was that he was able to help me with a project like this and how much it meant to him. Now, I’m just crying, thinking about how important it is to always say I love you. You never know when it will be the last you’ll see your father, or kiss your wife, or play with your little brother. I love you, Dad.

Image credits: DooksandPooks

#51 Best Friend Doesn’t Even Know

All my life I have loved to SCUBA dive. Once a month, I go down to South Florida and scuba dive for the weekend with my dive buddy (no partying, just diving). My wife is Taiwanese and loves fresh seafood. She used to give me a hard time about SCUBA diving (she thinks it’s stupid) until I suggested I could Spearfish some fresh seafood for her and then her attitude totally changed and was all on board. I do not care to Spearfish. I want to spend that time enjoying the view underwater, not chasing fish. On my way back, I go by a seafood place that has the freshest Seafood in my town and pick her up some very nice fish. I punch a hole in it with a spear before I go home. She loves it and I get to enjoy SCUBA diving. So, I consider it a win-win.

Just to be clear, I usually never go anywhere without her. We have a good marriage. I honestly consider this as a healthy white lie.

This honestly started out as a funny joke. I find it hilarious and one day I will tel her. She has a good sense of humor.

Image credits: TheOnlyFloridaMan

#52 Well Crap

long story short is that I didn’t want to meet her child until we have dated a bit so I know how I felt about her. I have had many step dads and “uncles” (who I knew were not family) so I stressed I wanted to wait on meeting her daughter.

Three months into this I really care for this woman, and thought it would be a good time to start with a meet and greet. I got toys, and cooked a big fancy meal and made sure I had plenty of activities planned so I knew it would be a fun day.

When they arrived, she just plopped her in front of my tv and ignored her the whole time except for dinner/bath time. No rules, no trying to include her in anything. I tried my best to bring the focus to her daughter and kept explaining this weekend was about meeting her, but she kept getting b**chy about me focusing my attention on her daughter who is content on just watching tv. Literally boxed up all the toys and stuff I set out and put them in her car saying she can play with them at home.

I want to give it another shot, but am on the fence, if I am not feeling the same after this I don’t want to be another dude in/out of a childs life.

Image credits: NotATacoinabananacostume

#53 What If Doing The Right Thing Sucks

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#54 We Actually Didn’t See That Coming

Our mom is rather a quiet person and, aside from keeping in close touch with us, pretty much kept to herself after dad died. Or so we thought.

Anyway, mom and her new ‘partner’ seem to be enjoying their new life together and we are all happy for them.

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#55 Welp

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#56 Wall Of Text Blah Blah Blah

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#57 I Bear The Weight Of Thousands Of Crushed Dreams

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#58 My Shame Will Never Die

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#59 Bearly A Confession

Not depressed or anything, just not happy all the time and am comfortable not faking it around her.

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#60 A Bit Of Doubt About My Future

I don’t post much, but this was something I find it a little hard to discuss with people around me due to the sensitivity of the topic, and I feel like I need to get my thoughts out somewhere. I applied and was accepted before this entire… Whatever it is started. I personally wanted to become a police officer to be an SRO, or student resource officer, so that I could work with kids and hopefully help them not go down a bad path and overall assist in helping them get a better future. I personally was helped by my SRO at my high school, which I credit for my overall improvement since then. I pursued this career because I wanted to help, but I personally am having a lot of doubts about continuing due to current events going on surrounding the police. Half of me thinks I should keep going because the reason behind why I pursued it in the first place is a good reason still, but the other half of me doubts whether or not I would even have the chance with everything going on.

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#61 Work Probs

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#62 I Love Him But…

My dad collapsed yesterday because he couldn’t breathe and had a 102°F/38°C fever, confusion, extreme fatigue, severe body aches, and nausea.

He went to the ER and they did a chest x-ray as well as the coronavirus swab test. He has bilateral pneumonia (also called double pneumonia) and his COVID-19 results came back today and he’s positive.

Long story short, he’s one of those people who thinks the flu is worse, it’s a hoax, hates wearing masks but he’s obese, smokes, has diabetes, and a type of blood cancer. I love him and I hope he recovers and changes his mindset about this global pandemic.

Image credits: TheGreatThunderCunt

#63 Maybe I’m Just Too Cynical

Whenever I see people whip their phone out and film how they are helping the homeless makes me cringe. (IMHO) Volunteering should not be cover to promote oneself.

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#64 Feels Like I Should Be The Parent

I’m 31 and live across the country from them so there’s not much I can do other than pointlessly remind them of the risks. My parents are in their mid and late sixties and my dad has a lot of health problems. If he gets this his risk would be really high. They are super religious and I can only assume they think Jesus will decide if they get sick or not. Yesterday my mom posted pics on fb of them at my cousins very large, no masks, no social distancing wedding. Oh yeah, I’m mad at my cousins too. This is not even close to the first large event they have gone to since this started. Every time I am massively stressed for the next 2 weeks waiting for them to get sick. Its infuriating and exhausting. Why are people acting so foolish about this?! Nearly a million people are dead. I just dont understand.

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#65 I Miss Them, But…

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#66 It’s Been Hard, I Just Want To Vent

So I joined the military to become a medic, which I successfully did last year. When I came back from training, I was immediately put to work in my state to help Covid positive patients in our hospital. But it’s taken its toll on me. Met a lady who purposely tries to take off her oxygen mask because she’s suffering and wants to die. Met a man whose wife died yesterday in the ICU and he died today in our unit. Met a guy who is constantly trying to improve his breathing, wishing his oxygen levels get higher so he can go home to his family, but it doesn’t look good. I honestly sit alone outside the hospital after my shift every night regretting my decision in joining because I realized how weak I am. I realized how hard it is seeing people suffer and die. I hate this virus so much, I hate the state we’ve come to. I just want to become numb to it, but it’s hard.

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#67 Anyone Else Feeling Like A Caricature Of A Person?

I feel like a caricature of That Dude. Always cracking a joke or smiling, outwardly buoyant, acting like life’s good. But it’s tiring to always act like that. Problem is, without that show, I don’t know who the heck I am. I’m single, live with my parents, have a few friends, and (quite frankly) feel alone. I was the “easy one” growing up. Very low-maintenance and such. And it feels like I’m a burden when I think of reaching out and asking for help of any sort. I also have a feeling that I “don’t rate” to feel these things because I’m a reservist who never deployed while guys that came before me lost limbs, friends, and lives in the Middle East. I have all my parts and friends, so what have I done to earn the right to feel like crap?

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#68 I’m Trying To Turn It Around

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#69 One Of The Worst Days

Sales are down 80% across the board from week prior. After a night of discussion with senior staff we decided only way for company to survive is to temporary close two locations (one inside a Ivy League university that closed other inside a pharmaceutical company that closed.) the third location will be run by me and a few other managers as order ahead delivery only. Hopefully we can make enough to pay rent and controllables. This has been one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced as a business owner. We will also be feeding any staff that come in for free and help with their cobra payments.

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#70 Can’t Wait For The Teenage Years

Don’t get me wrong, I love them all the same and give them everything I can. They’re just more frequently unpleasant than her first kid. I’m hoping it’s just because she’s a bit older and more mature, because it feels wrong and unnatural to think this way. I’m just trying my best not to give favor to any one of them, or failing that, not make it obvious.

Image credits: NoOneLiesOnTheInternet

#71 True Confession

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#72 I Wasn’t Happy For The Price

The sides didn’t fully expand (bed-in-a-box) after 3 days, made it feel like sleeping on a slight incline for the first few minutes every night. After it warms to you, you sink in enough to not notice. When i took the cover off, it seems like there are seams glued in that give it a slightly undersized edge to hold the foam layers in place. I feel kind of bad, but I also feel like it’s on them since I was ready to bring the thing back myself.

Image credits: PearjuiceATX

#73 Scared Of My Son

I was scanning the front page & someone had posted about the 13yr old boy with Autism who was shot in the US. I instantly remembered back to a shooting by police here in Canada earlier this year where a young man was killed while raging after a seizure. If you have kids with epilepsy, it’s not a good search to make. I’m far from the only parent with a raging child. It’s quite common between the seizure activity and the meds (& believe me, we’ve tried everything & are in the process of coming off Keppra completely just in case). But while I stay up most nights watching to make sure he’s still breathing (insert obligatory #SUDEP awareness here) now I’m starting to worry about our future too. Ive ready stories from other moms where their teens or adult children have broken their bones or worse.. I don’t want to end up like them.
I just want my sweet, kind, gentle baby boy back. And for police to stop treating mental health or other medical emergencies as threats that need neutralized.

Image credits: bicuriositykilledthiscat

#74 Confession Bear

Pretty low mental health day and wrote this note earlier. Some days things are hard, and that’s okay too, just part of the process

Figured I’d post it here, in case it could help someone who may feel similar to feel less alone

And check in with your people, including the strong ones

Image credits: SomeOfMyDutiesAreTo

#75 Fear Is Hell

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#76 A Story And A Confession, Gonna Be A Long One. I’m Sorry

I’ve always had a relatively rough life.

Dad died when I was 6, very few of his family still remain.

Mum’s family are a cliquey and close knit group that I don’t fit into.

Mum and I never bonded since she worked to keep the household together.

I’ve always been bullied everywhere I go, in school, in university, at work. It didn’t stop at just name calling (I honestly wish it had just been that), it often got violent.

I have a list of conditions including dyspraxia, ADHD and autism.

Did pretty well in school up until I was 16 then everything began falling apart.

Somehow managed to get an apprenticeship in military engineering when I was 20.

Started suffering in my job because my ADHD still wasn’t diagnosed yet, in fact I was told I showed no symptoms despite being told later I should have had a diagnosis years ago.

Got injured in my job and thanks to that and the bullying and my girlfriend at the time cheating on me, my mental health took a dive.

The company just booted me out without a word, settled under the table and by 2017, after 4 years of service, I was destitute.

Mum started drinking around this time.

Honestly I did for a bit too, but I hated how alcohol made me feel and I quit.

She didn’t.

It’s now 3 years later, my conditions make it nearly impossible to get a job, my work ethic is pathetic thanks to my mental handicaps which I haven’t gotten medication for or that what I do get doesn’t work, mum lost her job thanks to her drinking problem, she yells and screams at me all the time, has assaulted me before but the police don’t care (I’m a man so clearly I started it), I don’t get any peace, any sleep, any respite and I’m coming closer and closer to the edge.

I can’t afford to leave and get my own place, my benefits barely give enough to survive. I’ve been trying for all these three years to get a job and not just be a leech on the walfare system but haven’t even got to the interview stage.

I once had counseling but they have since abandoned me telling me there’s nothing they can do for me anymore, it’s another person causing my stress and if she doesn’t ask for help, they can’t force it on her.

there seemed like hope for a while whenever the chance for her to go into detox (basically rehab) but despite the fact I’m in the UK where we have an NHS, there’s a chance we’ll have to pay for it. They won’t even tell me how much it would cost and there’s no way we have the money for it.

I’ve had to call an ambulance for her several times to the point where they don’t bother turning up for hours now because she always snaps at them.

I’ve tried ringing the mental health crisis line in this country, but gave up after being in a queue for an hour with no pickup, every time.

I have a few online friends thanks to D&D but I don’t want to trouble them anymore, they’ve been there when I had a breakdown before but I just make them depressed with me, that’s not right.

my breakdowns have been becoming more frequent lately but my last one, I didn’t cry, I simply went neutral, lost the ability to feel anything, I felt like a robot, started getting dizzy and sick and there’s a period of a couple of hours I don’t remember.

I think I’m snapping, ending it all just looks so tempting and it’s getting harder to justify not just calling it quits. I’m not contributing anything to society, I’m not going anywhere and I’m a drain on taxpayer money, what’s the point of me even being here?

Nothing is going anywhere and I can’t find any answers.

Image credits: Wicyaer

#77 I’m Exhausted

I know that’s not how it works. I just feel like I’ve had enough stress and fatigue for several lifetimes already.

I lost my job in June, but the place was run by a Qultist. It was probably for the best, even though I’d just like some stability.

Image credits: Bunnilingus

#78 Can’t Say It Anywhere Else

Don’t get me wrong I love my son, and he is exactly that. MY son. And luckily he is high functioning. He just has bad days, and sometimes I just hit a wall. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Image credits: huskyn1nja

#79 Repetitive Sounds Anyone?

A person saying the same sentence three times in the space of 2 minutes left me irrationally angry. I smashed a carrot on the kitchen bench and yelled “shut up”. I can barely remember how I reacted. I felt outside of myself. I hate the idea of being irrational because I value control. I don’t know if Misophonia has been medically recognised yet but having a label for something always helps.

Image credits: Vessecora

#80 Not Proud Of It But Here We Are

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#81 Stale Chips (Mainly Cheetos Tho)

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#82 My Mum Died

So my Mum died last week, and while it was a bit of a shock I don’t really care.

She left me and my sister when I was 7, and left my Dad working a 65 hour week just to keep us fed and with a roof over our head, to basically start a 25 year self destruction.

She has been an alcoholic for most of those years, and I have tried to help. I put her through a 16 week rehab program only for her to go on a bender her first day out and accuse me of imprisoning her.

She wasted her life, a smart, funny woman who could make friends with anyone, thrown away for reasons unknown. She left my Dad with unanswered questions which will now never be answered.

Everyone keeps telling me how cut up I must be and how sad it all is, but I don’t feel that, I’m angry at her for what she has done and how she has done it. My only concern is my Nan of 96 who has lost her youngest daughter, and sorting out the mess she left behind to see if I have any inheritance left.

Image credits: iambuis

#83 Confession Bear

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#84 It’s True… I’m Disgusting

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#85 I Can Bear It

I like my job and my private life but going on and off is frustrating. Some of the periods at home have been enjoyable and productive, some of them I’d rather forget. I know my coworkers are about to break down and would do anything to be able to slow down or have some days off. But this isn’t my fault even if they seem to think so. The only way to remain my own peace of mind is to mind my own business. In fact, after I hit my head that’s been the only thing I’ve even been able to do for a while. Just sitting outdoors and doing nothing feels even more pleasant when you actually are unable to do anything else because your brain can only handle so much. And I’m getting a little lazy, but don’t tell anyone

Image credits: heliem

#86 I Don’t Know Why I Did This

I’ve been a drinker for a long time with several unsuccessful attempts to stop. I’m not trying to make an excuse, but there’s some pretty heavy mental health issues in my brain too that can’t be treated cause of shit insurance.

In the last three months or so, rather than use my own money to buy things like groceries and such, I’ve used my family’s Amazon account to deliver them. This then proceeded into a “I have an urge to buy this, so I will” on things I don’t actually need. Then I could use the money I made for alcohol.

I’m done now. I was caught. But even before being caught I was finished. I just feel sick to my stomach about myself. I can’t believe I’ve turned into this person.

I wish I could afford rehab or some psych facility cause there’s gotta be something wired wrong in my brain. I knew it was wrong and I felt wrong doing it…so why did I.

I don’t even know if there’s advice to give. I don’t know what I’m looking for. Maybe just something to end the numbness I feel. Maybe I just want a bunch of people to tell at me because that’s what I deserve.

Image credits: Garbagepersonthrowaway2

#87 Sorry Not Sorry Folks

I am more and more thankful for my wife every day. We have counselled at least 30+ couples over the years on everything from finances, love making, child rasing, and communication. But seeing the abuse some people go through, the feeling like they are living someone else’s life and some straight up assholes. I can tell you from seeing both sides of many stories some times it is just better to stop the pain and move on. This goes for both of you. My wife has done nothing in our marriage but encourage me to live my story and I do the same for her. No one owns you period. Don’t try to change someone because people are who they choose to be. If your partner does not want to be better for themselves they will never be better for you. Move on and find out how to love yourself, then you will have what is needed to love someone else.

Image credits: WhereRebelsAre

#88 So Mellow It Puts Marshmellows To Shame … Also It’s Apparently Spelled Mallow?!

I was today’s years old when I learned it’s spelled marshmallow instead of marshmellow. Sticking with my title tho fight me.

Saw Hocus Pocus when I was little like a lot of the people who are obsessed with it. I liked it as a kid, but never thought much about it since, and now it’s a huge cult classic thing with my age group. I just can’t bring myself to like it. The end!

Image credits: BatmandasPandas

#89 Not Off To A Good Start

Basically, I have my teaching degree but I’m not good at classroom management. I failed student teaching so I decided to sub to get more experience. Well after I started subbing I now am getting called into the administration building for a meeting after an incident occurred. I feel like I want to teach still. I have student loans to pay back still for it.

Image credits: Diaicecube

#90 I Took The Safe Road And Now I Am Looking Back On My Life And Regretting Things

I have everything I could ever want. I have my doctorate, I am happily married, I have a job I love that pays well. I have a load of cars, a motorbike, a cute cat. Everything is amazing in my life.
I’d trade it all away to be a metal guitarist again. I miss playing guitar, but the pursuit of a chemistry degree and getting my PhD in medicinal chemistry meant that I had to put music way down the list of my priorities… And I really regret it.
I used to be really good. I was an average shredder, nothing creative but I had chops. I picked up my guitar for the first time in 6 years and I suck now. My only regret in life was taking the safe option and using chemistry as a back up. I wonder where I would be if I just threw myself at music when I was younger.

Image credits: AgathorTheDestroyer

#91 Welp

And I liked her for as long as I’ve known her both as a friend and romantically. I can’t really say I would’ve tolerated it if she had cheated with me. Though I’m sure as hell I won’t forget.

Sorry for the vent. Carried this for almost a year. And since I’ve cut ties with them, I have no one to tell it to. I also feel bad and blame myself for some reason..

Image credits: TsukiK

#92 I Feel Better Now, Thanks

….. and then laugh. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Image credits: cheesebandit0

#93 Dreaded Dreads

I would never treat anyone with less respect than anyone else, I just think they look smelly and gross. If you have dreadlocks could you please tell me about them? I’d like to learn more.

Image credits: crimsonpanda10

#94 A Sad Truth

Not corona. My partner lives in another country completely locked down, and I could afford the travel if I could actually get there.

He was suffering alot, liver and kidney failure with no medical options. He was also a big part of finance issues in the family due to his control.

It feels callous to say, but he caused alot of issues and was a right piece if work in the past, but atleast now he’s not suffering.

Image credits: Sadistichades

#95 I Seriously Wonder If It Could Help Me

I had plenty of opportunities in high school/college to try weed. Being the “good kid” I always turned them down. I was the person people called to come get them from parties because they were high/drunk. I don’t regret being the sober one who made sure people made it home. Now with my chronic pain (thanks Ehlers Danlos) and anxiety/depression I wonder if it could help. Even though I live in a legal state I can’t try it because of my job. When you drive heavy machinery every day it’s not worth the risk.

Image credits: trombonegirl2013

#96 Let Us Suffer Together

Honestly though I doubt they care. But maybe if their golf games get cancelled they’ll start to think “hmm maybe climate change is real and boy is it shitty. Let’s do something about it.” Again I doubt it but at least they can breathe a fraction of what we have had to deal with for the past few weeks.

Image credits: ItsMoni

#97 I’ve Made So Many Empty Promises, Broken Them So Easily, All For My Selfish Pleasure

Image credits: TheSanityInspector

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