There’s probably not one person in the world who hasn’t felt dumb at one point or another in their lives. It’s only human to experience mild brain farts from time to time, no matter your IQ, academic achievements, or profession. We’re all highly susceptible to blunders, and that’s okay!
However, there’s no denying that dumb things are funny. There’s a reason why Reddit always seems to love threads about the dumbest thing someone has said or done. Dumbest injuries? Viral. Dumbest things kids have said? Viral. So when someone on the r/AskReddit subreddit asked “What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard?” of course there were over 15k people that upvoted the thread and thousands of others participating in it. However, Bored Panda has handpicked you 50 stories that we enjoyed reading the most. Scroll down below to read them all and share in the comment section the dumbest thing you have heard!
More info: Reddit
#1
“If i could find a country that didn’t take immigrants in I’d move there…”
#2
I drive for Uber on the weekends and one time a girl who was in her late 20’s told me that I was making her uncomfortable. I haven’t said a word the whole trip so I asked how I could make the situation better. She said she didn’t like how i kept “playing with the fidget stick in the middle of my car.” I drive a manual. She then told me that I didn’t need to use that because “her car didn’t have that” and claimed to be a mechanic
#3
I was in a college class, and we were talking about agriculture. Me being from a farming town I was explaining how important certain aspects of farming are interesting, and super important. This one student was not budging, and she was refusing whatever I was saying. I asked her why she was so against farming, and she said “I think we should get rid of all of them. We don’t need them.” I asked her if she liked to eat, and she said we would be fine. We could just get food from the stores. I asked her how she planned on getting that food into the store. She responded with “Well they already make all the food in the store as it is right? Why do we need farms. They’re stealing money from our local businesses.” So in a nutshell. She thought everything, flowers, fish, chicken, loaf bread, and like everything. Was made in the stores, and that’s why we don’t need farms.
#4
Someone was convinced that Queen stole the bass line to “Under Pressure” from Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”. He wasn’t even saying it as a joke.
#5
A girls in math class didnt understand fractions. We got down to this because the teacher was explaining smething else pretty simple that she didnt understand. So broke it down and figured out she didnt get fractions. Well, thats a little odd but with a minute of explanation she should get it.
Nope. Teacher asked “what is larger, 1/2 or 1/3?” The girl said 3 is more than 2 so 1/3 is larger.
Teacher drew two circles on the board, divided one in two and the other in three parts. “Which is bigger?” Girl gave the same answer.
Teacher erazed both circles, grabbed two pieces of paper, ripped one in half, one in thirds. Held up a piece of both “Which one is larger?” Girl pointed out the 1/3 piece.
“Forget that there are more piece” and he binned the rest, holding up the initial two pieces again. “Just look at the size. Which one is larger?” Girl pointed out the smaller one again.
Defeated, teacher lowered his arms and walked back to his desk. “Please take no offense in this… but are you familiar with the words and concepts of “smaller and larger”?” He asked, as this class turned more sesamestreety by the second.
The girl said she did. Teacher pointed outside. “See those trees? Which is larger, right or left?” “Left”, girl said and she was right. The left tree was about 5 metres taller. “Then which piece of paper is larger?” Holding them up again. Girl pointed out the smaller piece and the teacher walked out of the classroom.
#6
Reminds me of someone who wrote a negative review of their Spain trip, saying everyone were foreigners and they didn’t speak English
#7
Had a friend over years ago and we were talking about my plasma TV.
He said that he would never buy a plasma tv because he didn’t want to have to replace the plasma when it ran out.
I didn’t correct him. I thought it would be best if he didn’t buy a plasma tv.
#8
When I was getting a new aquarium, I put my fish into plastic bags of water to hold them while I set up the new tank.
My Mother panicked and started punching holes in the bags with a pencil. When I asked her what in the good god she was doing, she came back with:
“I’m putting air holes in the bag so your fish don’t suffocate. Come on helljack, use your head!”
Nothing I said could convince her she wasn’t the hero of this tale.
#9
If you have sex with a pregnant girl you can change the biological dad to you. We went to a prestigious school and he wasnt dumb. Everyone looked at him like an idiot
#10
Is African a religion
#11
I used to work in a grocery store and this elderly woman said, “Twenty-five cents a pound? I can get them 4 pounds for a dollar at Safeway
#12
When I did tattoos, I had a guy come into the shop that wanted “Mr. 113” on his wrist. Not really all that out of the ordinary. We get it drawn up, my co worker placed it and she starts to do the tattoo. As soon as she starts, the guy screams in pain and jumps up. “What the hell is in that thing?! Is there a needle in there?! That [crap] hurts!” …. what?! This guy was in his 30s or 40s. How do you not know how tattoos are done?! He said, “I don’t know. Just thought it was some permanent ink or something.” The guy went outside for almost an hour to smoke and I guess hype himself up. He got the outline done at least, but couldn’t take the pain anymore and didn’t get it filled. Still can’t believe he didn’t know tattoos were done with a needle.
#13
My old housemate thought that Down Syndrome was something you could get from vaccines.
She wasn’t anti-vax. She was talking about vaccines and said “I don’t get why parents are afraid to get their kids vaccinated. The chances of catching Down syndrome are really low.”
#14
A girl I used to work with was pissed that her boyfriend “only bought me 12 roses! He wouldn’t even go all out for a dozen, whatta jerk!”
#15
My co worker honestly thinks if we keep throwing our garbage into the ocean that nature will “take care of it” with no negative consequences.
#16
Me: “What weighs more; a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?”
Coworker: “Bricks!”
It took me about 15 minutes to explain the answer to him, which included me drawing it out on paper and using a kitchen scale with different items for examples. I drank so much that night.
#17
15 year old girl was afraid that she may be pregnant because she had unprotected sex, with another girl.
#18
Elderly lady my mom knew refused to ever drink Colombian coffee because she was convinced that they “secretly put cocaine in it”.
If that was the case, every store would be sold out of it as soon as they got it in.
Idiot.
#19
Someone giving their one month old infant a bottle full of juice and water because her mother said to. Also denying the professional nutritionist that told her that’s bad for a baby. Another baby, under one year old, who’s mom puts soda in a bottle because the baby likes it. I don’t think people realize how actually life threatening it is to give their own children these things. And the fact that they don’t put an ounce of research into what they give their kids, or listen to the professionals telling them what their doing is wrong, just makes me so angry.
#20
Freshman English class… we were reading Lord of the Flies at the same time the movie Alive (about a soccer team’s plane crashing in the Andes mountains) came out. Since both were about groups being stranded and the politics/society building that results, we were discussing the movie in class one day. When discussing their resorting to cannibalism as they remained stranded on the mountain, this one girl asked, “Why didn’t they just order Domino’s or something and have it delivered?”
#21
Oxygen doesn’t come from trees, it comes from the air!
#22
That politician is already rich. He cannot be a thief.
#23
Q: Do you like bon jovi?
A: No, I don’t eat italian food.
#24
“Wait! You’ve been to Indiana? Do they really speak English?!”
#25
I had a patient tell me once that smoking can’t cause cancer and it’s all a big hoax… as I took him to his chemo appointment for lung cancer, which was most likely because he smoked 40 a day. (How can anyone afford to do that?)
#26
I was on a date with a girl and she was talking about how being smart made things difficult for her. She said she felt like a social piranha……..
#27
Can’t you just hold in your period or stop it?
#28
my mum once asked if they had wind in canada…
#29
Recently my relative told me he got a bunch of credit cards and maxed them out, he plans on paying them back with next year tax refund. He then quit his job. Same relative always makes fun of me for having “book smarts” but not “street smarts”, but the older I get the more I realize being able to look at my finances, live within my means and squirrel some away is a form of “street smarts” that a lot of people seem to be lacking.
Also pretty much any comment on my local news facebook page. A recent one was about a renovated gas station. One person commented complaining that they spent all that money and took away gas pumps, someone else commented that they actually had added several, the only reason the line was longer was because it was new and everyone was going there to see the improvements. The lady replied back really nastily saying she had a J-O-B and didn’t have time to count gas pumps, unlike some other “lowlifes”, completely oblivious that she looked like an idiot. The article even mentioned that they added more pumps, but again, she has to work for a living to pay taxes for the welfare bums, she don’t got time for reading that either. A simple “oh crap I must have been mistaken” or better yet not commenting at all would have sufficed. This situation is not uncommon at all.
#30
My younger cousin (boy) in Bangladesh got bitten a monkey, somehow. My uncle (not the cousin’s Dad) genuine was worried that would make him pregnant. Some weird old ancient folk tale. He genuinely believed it, I can’t even with that amount of stupidity.
#31
Obama has a “weather machine,” and that’s why it’s so hot outside. Person was dead serious, and worked in DC for the federal government for over 25 years, nearing retirement.
#32
Video of a lady yelling at Mexicans telling them to speak American. What the actual [frick] language is that ya hick?
#33
Had a coworker tell me “I don’t want that supervisor position. You’re supposed to get less responsibilities when you promote, not more”
#34
That turn signals are only optional. For a good chunk of states, it is legally required for you to use your turn signals 100 feet before turning.
Only to be told later that they got a ticket for not using their turn signal.
#35
Trying to do an intervention for my friend who was using meth. It was just me doing the intervention because he had alienated/stole from everyone else who ever cared. Anyway, it all started when he was showing me a video on his phone of him smoking meth in a car with some other meth head.
I swear on my life this is a real conversation that happened
him: I wasn’t smoking meth!
me: You literally, just now, showed me a video of you smoking meth. You even used the words ‘I’m smoking meth’ in the video.
him: No but I wasn’t smoking it
me: You held a pipe up to your mouth, sparked a lighter, and inhaled smoke… it was all on the video you just now showed me
him: It wasn’t smoking because it doesn’t count if you inhale it through your nose
What the [frick]
#36
That some flat Earthers now believe the world is actually doughnut shaped…
#37
-0 equals infinite.
Some kid in a discord server was trying to prove that the negative of zero was infinite. It was 24 people trying to tell him that zero was neither positive or negative and that still didn’t satisfy him. His main pieces of “evidence” was “Everyone said Einstein was a mad man until he proved them wrong. Y’all watch out I’m going to change this world”
He was banned 2 days later for being underaged.
#38
I had to explain to my last landlady that a 7 day long Menstruation was normal and that her massage work wouldn’t “cure me” and make me bleed for only 2 days. That was a fun conversation.
#39
A girl in 5th grade saw an Algebra textbook on my teacher’s desk and proceeded to exclaim very loudly: “Is algebra a country?”
#40
7th grade history class, 2 kids were arguing if there were 50 or 51 states. Another classmate cleared it up for them- “52, The 50 and Alaska and Hawaii.”
Same class, different person when asked a name of a US colony answered Wyoming. So the teacher had a good laugh about the Mayflower getting over the great plains.
#41
I bought a Venus Fly Trap for my desk at work. One of the women who works in HR came over to my desk and stared at it for a long time looking confused. Eventually she asked, “where are its eyes?”
#42
I overheard this woman trying to convince her friend that Lake Michigan is an ocean.
#43
My classmate was reading some article “What kind of person are you according to your belly button” and asked how mine looked. I found that stupid and told her (not seriously, chill) that I don’t have a belly button because I came from an egg. Another classmate heard us and was thinking what kind of egg would I be. She told me I would be hedgehog egg. But unlike me, she wasn’t kidding. A hedgehog. Egg. When I told her hedgehogs are mammals, she didn’t believe me, cause the birth would hurt them. She is 19.
#44
My 34 year old sister, “I digest my food very fast. I always [crap] after eating.”
#45
I was in Spanish class and my teacher asked “What was happening in Chile during the 1980s” and this dumbass said “World War II”
#46
Islands are land that float on the ocean. The man that said this is now a tenured professor at a private university.
#47
On the bus, a student yelled: “Why is the moon out during the [Freaking] DAYTIME??!!”
She was 13-15 and in middle school.
#48
“With just $500 invested in this starter kit you too can start your own business and become financially independent.”
Quit your b*******, Karen.
#49
NASA? Is that a planet? Said by a classmate of mine are ours 17 years old
#50
I had a neighbor hold a bottle of water outstretched and spin himself to prove to me that gravity is fake and the world is flat.
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