Plenty of people have done crazy things for love. Perhaps you’ve pretended that you enjoy the taste of olives to seem more in sync with your date. Or maybe you learned all of the lyrics to your partner’s favorite album to impress them. There’s nothing wrong with going above and beyond for someone you’re trying to woo. But according to the internet, there’s a fine line between adorable and unsettling.
One woman recently shared a story on Reddit that she told during her wedding vows, explaining how she won her husband’s heart. However, readers were split on whether the tale was heartwarming or creepy. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
This woman had a crush on her husband long before they began dating
Image credits: Albertshakirov / Envato (not the actual photo)
So at their wedding, she admitted that she went out of her way to win him over
Image credits: Omelnickiy / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Far_Magazine_5084
Pretending to like things for your partner is often a bad idea
Image credits: bernardbodo / Envato (not the actual photo)
Despite the fact that dating should be extremely simple, it often becomes incredibly overwhelming. You don’t want to love bomb, but you need to make it clear that you’re interested. Don’t play too hard to get, but don’t become clingy and annoying either.
Meanwhile, take all of the advice you read online with a grain of salt. Because at the end of the day, every person is different. And what will have one woman swooning might have another blocking your phone number.
When it comes to faking interests to impress a partner, Wendy L. Patrick, PhD, warns in a piece for Psychology Today that “mismatched interests can only be concealed for so long before they begin to take a toll on relational satisfaction.”
It’s common to exaggerate how much you enjoy watching football or how often you bake cookies to get a reaction out of your partner. But we have to be careful that this doesn’t lead us into relationships where we won’t be happy long term. For example, if you pretend that you love going for an early morning run every Saturday, your partner will be shocked if you suddenly have a breakdown one day about how much you despise running.
Instead of forcing yourself to pretend you love their hobbies, it might be healthier to join them every once in a while to show support. And when you don’t feel like participating, you can spend that time focusing on your own hobbies.
It’s certainly not necessary to enjoy the exact same activities as your partner to have a healthy relationship. However, Dr. Patrick says that it is important for couples to have shared activities that they both enjoy.
Honesty is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship
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Maybe you can play tennis with your partner, or perhaps you both love painting together. As long as you spend quality time together, there should be space in your relationship for your individual preferences as well.
Another aspect of this story is the importance of honesty in a relationship. No, you don’t have to spoil your partner’s surprise party or tell them how obvious the pimple on their forehead is. But we should definitely feel comfortable being open and honest about nearly everything in our romantic relationships.
Clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PhD, told Verywell Mind that honesty allows you to be authentic with your partner, which can be extremely freeing. You don’t have to worry about keeping up appearances when you’ve got nothing to hide. Meanwhile, being comfortable with honesty will help you communicate your needs. And, of course, this can go a long way in building trust in your relationship.
Some readers were appalled by the author’s admission, but the reality is that most of us have probably done something we’re not exactly proud of to win over a partner. And if it actually works out and creates a happy, healthy relationship, who are we to judge?
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Many readers found the story wholesome and heartwarming, and the author joined in on the conversation
However, some considered the author’s behavior concerning
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