One constant in every successful relationship is good, honest and open communication. It’s the building block of everything. However, communication is just the path to a lasting relationship, one still has to actually go down it. In other words, it doesn’t matter if your partner listens to your preferences if they still choose to ignore them.
A woman shared how she decided that her relationship was probably over, after discovering that her boyfriend had got them cruise tickets for her birthday. As it turns out, she doesn’t like cruises and that he booked the tickets during an event she was already planning to go to. Netizens decided to share their thoughts and some advice in the comments section.
Birthday gifts can be quite tricky to get right
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The guy in this story really missed the mark on his girlfriend’s birthday gift. To the point that she was willing to break up with him
Image credits: midiman (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image source: Helpful-Minimum8496
After a few days, the author posted an update on the situation
Image credits: Sonyachny (not the actual photo)
Image source: Helpful-Minimum8496
Listening is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship
Image credits: Edmond Dantès (not the actual photo)
This sad situation is another confirmation of how important it is to listen to your partner. In everyday interactions, noting the details of their preferences and their exciting inner life, as well as the more serious conversations about the future of your relationship. The woman noted that she has raised her concerns a few times over the years and even then her partner didn’t hear her, which is an awful situation to be put in.
If you wish to be a better listener, a good place to start is by trying out a mirroring technique. In it, when you’re talking about your feelings and emotions, you listen to what your partner says and then repeat it back to them how you understood it. This gives your partner a chance to clarify any misunderstandings and misconstructions.
Knowing how to present your feelings is also very important
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When trying to sort out issues with your partner, it is important not to start the conversation with animosity. Many of us like to jump straight to the issue and start accusing and blaming as if our partner is doing everything wrong. This is understandable as we are trying to vent our frustrations and jump to generalizations, but it’s not a good move.
Instead, you have to try to keep your cool. When talking about feelings, you have to keep in mind that what you’re feeling is your perspective and there are other factors at play you might not be aware of. So, starting with statements like “I feel,” “I think,” is the best way to manage a tricky situation. For example, if you also feel like your desires are being ignored, you could say “I feel unvalued and unloved when you dismiss my wishes in preference to yours.” That’s, of course, not the whole conversation but a good start.
Either way, if you see a behavior that upsets you, bring it up. Then, if it doesn’t change and becomes a pattern, don’t be afraid to walk away, just like the woman in this story did. You deserve better.
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