Everybody’s problems are different, and they all deserve to be heard, so feminist writer Carina North, who blogs about trauma and recovery, has recently asked women on Threads to list what they believe to be the worst parts of womanhood.
In just a few days, she has received hundreds of honest accounts on rigid social structures, tense interpersonal relationships, and challenging body changes.
As AI slop floods the media, this discussion stood out as an increasingly rare example of genuine reflection and meaningful dialogue. To spare you the hassle of scrolling through everything yourself, we’ve gathered some of the top insights and invite you to join the conversation.
More info: Instagram | Substack | Threads
#1
Being alone and peaceful is far greater than settling or forcing myself to make something work with someone that isn’t my person.
Image credits: suzypink8214
#2
I think the scariest one for me is that there very well could be a great, upstanding man who pursues me in earnest and genuinely wants everything I want, but I’ll be so afraid waiting for the other shoe to drop that I’ll ruin it somehow. But I’m working at conquering that fear, and not being the conquered.
Image credits: littleballofgiggles
Of course, the situation might look different depending on which part of the world you analyze, but at least in the United States, two of the top three concerns for women are inflation and the economy.
A collaboration between the Barbara Lee Family Foundation and the Women & Politics Institute at American University has resulted in a survey that revealed 56% of the country’s women feel their financial situations worsened in recent years.
67% of respondents cut back on going out to restaurants, 48% reduced the amount they spend on groceries, and 18% delayed or canceled preventive health screenings.
Nearly 40% of younger women can make ends meet each month but struggle to pay or save for unexpected expenses, while 20% of young women admit they struggle to make ends meet each month and sometimes come up short.
#3
That other women can be misogynistic.
Image credits: jan.i.s.0ptera
#4
My mum had to get a man to speak to businesses over the phone to get respect when she was dealing with them. She was a single parent and worked so hard but was never heard.
#5
For me it’s the sacrifice I give as a mom a wife a daughter a sister etc. the sacrifice is never seen it feels like
Image credits: vi_princessofatl
60% say they are pessimistic about the economy, and nearly half (47%) say they are anxious or worried about how things are going in the U.S.
As a result, the majority (60%) feel they’re more burned out than usual.
Only 20% of those surveyed say they’re hopeful.
#6
That doctors will disregard our concerns and pain tolerance, even if they are a female.
Image credits: flamezindabad
#7
That I likely will not outlive patriarchy.
Image credits: drkatebalestrieri
#8
That it doesn’t matter what I do or accomplish, only how attractive people find me.
Image credits: c.adelinejames
#9
That nobody cares about our health as much as we do. Including doctors. Every symptom I have is an uphill battle to not be labelled as ‘anxious’. Sometimes I feel like we’re still in the 1800s and I’ll be sent to an asylum before my symptoms are taken seriously :,). Not listening to health care professionals has saved my life and that terrifies me.
Image credits: alkalinequinn
Heather Rose Artushin, LISW-CP, agrees that workplace norms, gendered societal expectations, and relationship dynamics can hold women back.
“Many women desire a balance between career, family, and a fulfilling personal life, but achieving this balance is often not so easy,” she says. “Societal expectations, like taking on the majority of housework and childcare tasks even when working full-time, and workplace biases, like lower pay and inflexible work hours, leave women feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and burned out.”
#10
The term wife means different things to men and women.
Image credits: michelleconnollyglynn
#11
That because I didnt have children, im somehow inferior.
Image credits: mannic.rogers
#12
That not being married with children by a certain age makes you worthless. Oh and that once your 40 or over you’ve “passed your prime. “
But while workplace norms and gendered societal expectations stand in the way of women having it all, relationships can also play a role.
“It isn’t uncommon for female spouses to give their male partners time to work late at the office or travel for business, taking on the extra burden at home, but what would it be like for men to give women the same time to invest in their careers without having to worry about making dinner, packing lunches, or facilitating the bedtime routine with the kids?” the therapist asks.
Hopefully, we’ll see more couples sharing the load so both partners can thrive at work and at home.
#13
No matter how much we succeed, most men will think they’re superior by default
#14
That my own parents are upset that I don’t want kids. I am 24 and they keep saying “you’ll change your mind” no I won’t. It’s so annoying. Like I am grown and can make my own decisions about MY OWN body.
Image credits: whitegirlspice
#15
Misogyny, internalized misogyny and medical misogyny. To say some.
#16
That my body is weaker than a man’s and that therefore I will never feel safe. That 40 years of periods and 500+ cycles is somehow not enough.
Image credits: klarinette75
#17
Very little community for us. Men want to sleep with us, other women want to sabotage us.. very few genuine people who don’t have ulterior motives.
Image credits: bookaddict3_7
#18
That most other women underestimate their capabilities. I can’t even recall how many times I have had women in my neighborhood asked me where I take my car in for service and when I tell them that I do it myself they’re completely flabbergasted. I always invite them over to watch and learn how to do with themselves and see how easy it is. Only the really easy stuff: oil changes, brakes, belts, hoses, spark plugs… If I can learn to bake a cake they can learn to change their own oil.
Image credits: mjorgenson23
#19
That for a lot of men, once you reach a certain age as a woman, you’re invisible. I sit with many elderly women in hospice, they have stories for days. But only I seem to hear them. I work with women in their late 50s and early 60s, and the lives they have lived are truly, AMAZING. Is this our fate? To only exist to men, during the maiden/ mother phase of life? Half the population ignores women 45+💔
#20
You can say something very relevant, honest and well thought, but nobody will truly listen until a man repeats it.
Image credits: lawishur
#21
I will always be judged based on my body and looks, and it’s the first thing men attack when they realise how strong my character is.
#22
That I can accomplish many things, help many people and still get dismissed because I’m over 50.
#23
Gynos will always say and convince others (including women) that we don’t feel pain down there.
#24
That it always will be my fault. because I should have tidied up after them, I should have checked they’re OK, I should have known what everyone liked, I shouldn’t have spoken out.
Image credits: wendal0
#25
OH another one— instead of listening to the literal billions of women who TELL them what women want, they will always throw that away and take a man’s advice on what women want.
cuz of course, we’re lying and they know better.
#26
That no matter how much in life you accomplish for yourself, you’ll always only be measured by if you’re “married” and if you’re a “mother”
#27
I will never get proper care from the industrialized healthcare system.
Image credits: 400yoswampwitch
#28
The saddest topic 😔
I can only agree with… literally every single lady here.
My own truth: no matter how educated and experienced you are, your supervisor (if it’s a man) will always prioritise another man’s opinion and decision.
#29
Men don’t LIKE women.
They like what they signify—a wife, house, kids—signifies success.
But I don’t think most men genuinely LIKE women.
Image credits: lulubelle7676
#30
Lots of men will never see us as people. Men can pursue and even marry us and tick the boxes of treating us ok (like you do a pet or appliance) – it doesn’t mean he sees you as a person or is interested in you as a person. Those men are also creating products and making laws and leading institutions while ignoring the needs of half the population – not noticing when we’re not in the room, and happier when we’re not as it’s uncomfortable when not-people speak up.
#31
anything I achieve in life will be downplayed or overshadowed by being pretty.
i’m so tired of the comments after conversations being:
“wow you’re *ACTUALLY* really intelligent/funny/nice/wise/etc”— almost is if they’re asking a question & scratching their heads about how there’s an actual brain & person with a life inside of my body.
Image credits: sanela.estrella
#32
The fact that I must look a certain way and be feminine to be found attractive by a man. Welp I guess I am not trying anymore and just being unapologetically a gremlin (myself).
#33
One of the hardest ugly truths I’ve had to accept as a woman is having to back up statements with research or a source. I have several instances where I state a fact and a dude will be like, “wait, that can’t be right?” And then I will literally pull the book out that it was from and cite my source and sometimes they’ll be like “ah ok” and other times they’ll want more sources.
#34
That after years of working, raising kids and managing most of the household chaos… I am becoming invisible…
#35
Sales men literally will not look or listen to you if you’re there with your male partner.
#36
That other women will never stop reminding me to be scared
And use it to stop me
And tell me it’s for my own good
As if I don’t get enough fear naturally
That’s not my place and we agree
So stop telling me so and insisting
Not to be insensitive
Just honest
That’s how I deal
#37
PCOS has made me into this “man” that everyone wants to swear I am. No, it is a hormonal disorder 🙃
#38
That no matter how we look, we will get harrased. Men used to always make gross comments about my body and the only reason they stopped is that I gained weight. So now they are making different gross comments about my body. Yay… 😑
#39
That I was born into a culture that uses the solar calendar and orients time linearly, utterly divorced from nature, literally putting me at fundamental odds with my own biology.
And it’s just accepted, the justice of it not questioned.
Image credits: bossamy1
#40
We will be betrayed by everyone we love at some point in our live and there is nothing we can do to prevent it from happening. It doesn’t matter what we did or did not before. We can only move on from that point.
#41
That women’s jobs and women don’t make the same money as men’s jobs and men.
#42
That a man, will always and I mean always want something from you. Whether family friend or lover
#43
While 60 countries have had female leaders already, the US still refuses to vote for a female President. Twice now, qualified women were willing to serve their country and instead…well, you know the rest.
#44
That as a BLACK WOMAN, most white women are not only NOT SAFE, but actively harmful to me.
#45
That even when we act defensive or avoid men cause of fear they will call us ridiculous
#46
Men hate women. Men think they are superior to and better than women.
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